


Two Less Lonely People

by Sira



Category: Battlestar Galactica (2003)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-23
Updated: 2013-08-23
Packaged: 2017-12-24 09:47:30
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 18
Words: 110,206
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/938509
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sira/pseuds/Sira
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bill Adama retires, Laura Roslin faces cancer, they meet each other again unexepectedly. Sparks fly. Will they find a way to be together, will Laura survive?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ufp13](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ufp13/gifts).



> This story belongs to ufp13 . She typed this story, was its beta reader, created the banner, did everything really. I only wrote this thing. And yes, I mean this... she typed all 18 chapters. When I was done with the story it consisted of 18 letters. Thank you, hon! For typing it, for everything else and for allowing me to share it. You rock, and I love you muchly!
> 
> All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended
> 
> About time I finally uploaded this story here.

A museum. They were about to turn his battlestar into a frakking museum. She was about to turn it into one. No matter how long it had been since the news were delivered to him, he found that, at the end of the day, he couldn’t accept it. With retirement just around the corner, he knew he shouldn’t even care, but he did. It was wrong. Galactica was still a good ship. Old, yes, but still fully functional. To turn it into a museum was to make light of the reason this ship was originally created for. Models of vipers, of centurions could never convey the dread of war, the fear for the lives of the ones you loved with all of your heart.

Walking along the corridors he knew as well as the back of his hand, he tried to imagine group after group of children taking these familiar routes, how they’d spill soft drinks and try to think of ways to lighten up another boring museum visit. Bill wasn’t envious of those who’d have to erase pen markings from the bulkheads or clean up floors covered with popcorn and chocolate.

Maybe it was wrong to blame Laura Roslin for all of this, but when he had first heard about the plans of decommissioning Galactica, he had made some enquiries only to learn that the museum had been the splendid idea of the secretary of education. Sure, Galactica would’ve been decommissioned anyway, but a museum? This only explained his misgivings about a hare-brained idea but not the intense dislike he felt for Roslin. She was a beautiful woman, easy on the eye but with a character that had him on the edge since the moment he had met her for the first time. She was confident, overconfident if anyone asked him, a little miss know-it-all who thought she knew about the military and battlestars only because she read through the reports one of her aides had prepared for her. The way she had said “I heard you are one of those.” had made him want to turn his back on her at once so that she could see how to find her way around Galactica on her own. It was an impulse he had followed not a minute later. Should Doral, this odd, slightly unpleasant man, find a way to keep her entertained.

Now that the deed was done, though, now that the ceremony and speeches were over, the least he could do was to bid his goodbye to Roslin. When he reached the hangar deck, he didn’t have to wait long until Roslin and her formerly errant aide arrived. She didn’t notice him at first, and he had the chance of an unguarded look at the woman underneath the armour of her office. She looked tired, pale, nearly as if she was in pain. The moment was over as soon as she spotted him, her face transforming into an expression of polite interest with a smile just as false to match it. He didn’t have to deal with politicians often, but each time, it surprised him how quickly they could change faces to show just the emotion needed. Politicians and actors – two sides of the same coin.

Even if he had wanted to, he couldn’t have returned that smile. She was too stubborn; she annoyed him. So why should he fake friendliness he didn’t feel? When she reached him, she extended her hand.

“Commander Adama, it really wasn’t necessary for you to come to see me to the door.” The slight sarcasm didn’t go unnoticed by him.  
“Please, let me assure you that it is. It’s not every day that an old battlestar gets to see high ranking politicians.” A fact he was thankful for; a message Roslin understood instantly, although it was only noticeable in the way her eyes narrowed.

“Now that Galactica becomes a model ship for a battlestar turned museum, it might very well be that it will see many more and higher ranking politicians in the future. You shouldn’t underestimate the importance of this project.”

“I can assure you that I don’t, Secretary Roslin.”

They held each other’s gaze for an interminable period of time. To Bill, it seemed to last an eternity, one that had him appalled and fascinated in equal measures. She was a hard woman, one that seemed to know what she wanted and how to get it. The stray thought that it might be interesting to test her undoubtedly keen intelligence at a game of chess crossed his mind briefly. What was he thinking? But he also couldn’t remember when a woman had looked at him like this for the last time, like she really wanted to see him, him – the man behind the title. She tried to see his very soul. It scared him, it elated him.

Then her aide coughed, and the moment was over.

“Well, thank you for your hospitality, Commander, and I wish you all the best for your retirement.”

“Thank you. All the best for you, too.”

She nodded, but a shadow of instant sadness crossed her face. Something bothered her, but it was hardly his concern. With a last, small smile, she turned and climbed up the gangway of the colonial heavy that would bring her back to Caprica.

She was still wearing a skirt, a fact he was reminded of when he looked at her legs that seemed to go on forever. That was a sight he didn’t need, he didn’t want to feel this surge of interest, especially not when it was Roslin he was ogling.

He turned around, briskly making his way toward his quarters. Only when he had nearly reached his destination, he remembered Starbuck who was still serving her sentence in the brig. It was time to let her out of her misery, although Saul would strongly object if he knew about it. But he didn’t. Never mind that it was their last night aboard, of what consequence would it be to release her?

Starbuck’s face brightened the moment he entered the brig.

“Nice speech, Commander.” She grinned. “But I’d bet good cubits that it wasn’t the one you had prepared.”

“What makes you think that?”

“Too much honesty in it, and too serious to please the admiralty. You know, you should have complimented the bright idea of turning the old bucket into a museum and not tell people that the cylon debacle was more or less our fault.”

“I see.”

The young woman shifted on her bunk. “I spoke to Lee before he left.”

Bill tensed at the mention of his son, a reaction he couldn’t control. Lee. Bill had held some hopes to talk to his son during his brief stay, to really talk, but Lee had his defences up the whole time he’d been around him, the only feeling he had obviously left for him being ones of anger. He blamed him for Zak’s death, and why shouldn’t he? Although didn’t he know that he could never blame him more than Bill blamed himself.

“You… you should really talk to him,” Starbuck continued when he remained silent.

“I tried. It didn’t work out, and I don’t want to talk about it now.” Bill turned to the marine standing guard. “Release her.”

Starbuck looked as if she wanted to say more, but settled for a “Thank you, sir.”

“You’re welcome, but please do me the favour and keep a low profile tonight. If you get into another fight with the XO, I can assure you that he’ll personally see to it that you won’t see any daylight soon.”

Starbuck nodded. “Understood, sir.”

She accompanied him part of the way to his quarters, answering his questions about her plans for the time after Galactica. He tried to listen to her, but found his thoughts being occupied with Lee, with retirement, with a future that didn’t hold much appeal to him at the moment.  
Finally back in his quarters, he closed the hatch, something he rarely did, before shrugging out of his uniform jacket. Pouring himself a drink, he flopped down on the couch, looked around his quarters. He should have packed by now, but aside of some of his books that were piled up on the floor everything was still untouched. It was a dire truth that those quarters were more of a home to him than his apartment on Caprica which was understandable as he had lived more than three quarters of the year in here. His apartment might hold more of his belongings, but in the end, it was just a mere four walls without any personal touch to them. He sighed; he had never liked it. It had just been the first place that had been more or less suitable. After his divorce, he didn’t have much of a mind for apartment hunting anyway. It was something high on his list of things to do when he was back on Caprica, to find a place he could call home. Maybe he would even tackle a dream he had nurtured for the past few years – to build his own boat. He should have more than enough time to do it in the next months, the next years.

Still, even with plans, he couldn’t warm up to retirement. Was he really that old that there wasn’t a job for him to do any more? He put his glass onto the table, making his way over to the head to prepare for bed. Sure, he could have found Saul, and they would share a bottle, reminiscing about old times and complain about Caprica’s frakking administration, but tonight he chose solitude, although the stillness of his quarters was nagging at him for one of the first times he could remember.

***

 

The flight back to Caprica had been uneventful if one didn’t count one panic attack and two nausea attacks.

‘I am dying. I am dying soon.’ It was a thought she just couldn’t shake off, no matter how hard she tried to concentrate on other things like the endless stream of information her aide was relaying to her or the schedule that she was re-planning in her mind. Her schedule which was messed up by the fact that her boss and lover wanted to get rid of her, as well as by the fact that she was dying. While Billy was droning on about this and that, she tried to decide what would have to come first. To take care of Richard to prevent any kind of scandal he would surely try to enforce so that she didn’t have any other chance but to leave? Or to make another appointment with her doctor? She shouldn’t have left just like that, but if she hadn’t run that moment, she would have screamed out her terror, an unacceptable behaviour. What would it help to go back, though? He had said loud and clear that the tumour was too advanced for surgery. He had mentioned radiation therapy, but wasn’t this just a carrot on a stick dangling in front of her nose? Wasn’t the best she could hope for pain meds that would make dying a bit less painful than it would be otherwise? Gods, what about her plans? She had planned a vacation on Aquarius next summer, had wanted to visit an old friend of hers. But now? It would be a rather safe bet to assume she would be dead in a year from now. Dead. Dying alone. Dying a painful death alone.

“Madame Secretary?”

She turned to Billy who was looking at her, worry evident on his boyish, youthful face. How often had he called out to her before?

“Yes, Billy. What did you say? I’m sorry for not listening. I just realised that I’ll have to reschedule some appointments next week. Some things have come up that I’ll have to take care of first.”

“Do you need any help with that?”

He was so eager, so energetic, so guileless. Had she ever been like this? She couldn’t remember, and right now she only felt old, useless, anyway.

“No, thank you, Billy. I will let you know which appointments I’ll have to reschedule. But what were you saying before? I really should have paid attention.”

“Oh, it was nothing important. Just… small talk.”

He was blushing. She reached out, put a comforting hand onto his arm. She had definitely not been like this, but it was sweet, somehow.  
“That’s fine, I would like to hear it. Not everything has to revolve around work.”

“I… I was just saying that Commander Adama wasn’t exactly pleased with your visit.”

Laura couldn’t help the laugh that escaped her. “That’s one way to phrase it. He’s like most of the military; not being in favour of some civilian trying to tell him what to do. He just didn’t like that the government is taking away his favourite toy to transform it into a museum. He’ll consider this a sacrilege.”

Billy looked shocked, most probably because she had compared a battlestar with a toy. As intelligent as he was, as sure as it was that he had a great career in ahead of him, he still had to master the art of sarcasm. It was a pity that he wouldn’t stay around her for long, because she could have taught him a few things.

He shrugged. “Well, he just didn’t look pleased.”

“No, he didn’t. He didn’t like the situation, and he didn’t like me.”

“I wouldn’t say that. He… he, well…”

“He just didn’t exactly fell in love with me?”

“No, he… he didn’t,” Billy mumbled.

Laura decided to let him off the hook. As sweet as it was to see him flustered, she didn’t want to make him uncomfortable.

“If you don’t mind, I’d like to close my eyes for a while. I’m rather tired.”

He nodded, surely not realising that he looked relieved.

“Most certainly, Madame Secretary.”

“Thank you, Billy.”

She wasn’t really tired, but still closed her eyes, thankful for the reprieve from any more talk.

When thoughts of her cancer threatened to overwhelm her yet again, she redirected them at once. There was enough time for this later. Billy had been right with his observation. Adama had been less than pleased with recent happenings. Although he hadn’t been outright rude, everything in the way he had talked to her, had looked at her hinted at the intense dislike he seemed to feel for her. It was amazing, really, how much a man, this man, could say without uttering a single word. In this regard, he was the stellar opposite of Richard who solely relied on words. Sure, Richard’s appearance exuded confidence, competence, but it was when he started to speak that he reeled people in. Richard Adar, president of the Twelve Colonies of Kobol, her boss and lover – former lover. She didn’t know why she was so sure about it, but she knew she wouldn’t be able to let him touch her again. It wasn’t that his betrayal came unexpected – ultimately, some part of her had always known that the time would come when he would want to get rid of her discreetly. It was his decision to stab her into the back that had broken the last of her trust in him. Now, the thought that he might touch her, that he might find the death lurking in her left breast – her weakness – made her cringe.

Never, she should have never let it come so far. They had been friends for so long, they had been a good working team. There had been real warmth between them. It had changed the moment she had let desire dictate her actions. There had always been a spark between them, but she should have never allowed him to put oil into the fire. A fire that had burned so bright that it wasn’t a wonder it would reduce them to ashes. She suppressed a sigh. She might not be able to prevent the fall, although the Gods knew that she would fight tooth and nails. However, if she did indeed go down, she would take him with her.

She must have fallen into an uneasy sleep, because she awoke with a start when Billy touched her shoulder.

“I’m sorry, Madame Secretary, but we’ll be landing in Caprica City in about twenty minutes.”

***

Laura had scheduled a meeting with Richard for the afternoon. First, she would finish what she had started before her trip to Galactica, though. Sometimes rank had its privileges. One of them being that her doctor had freed some time for her directly this morning. She had hardly slept all night, and each time she had fallen into slumber, her mother had haunted her dreams. Memories of the months right before her death were something she generally refused to acknowledge, though now that the same fate was looming over her, they couldn’t be oppressed any longer.

She didn’t have to wait long and a young nurse guided her to the doctor’s office as if she hadn’t been there before. The moment she sat down in the large office, the dread she had felt last time she had been here came back full force. This room, it was too large, too sterile, she was too alone. Even then she had known the truth, had felt it, but now it was a fact, something she couldn’t deny. What was she doing here? Nothing could change her fate. She took a deep breath, hoping to calm her racing heart. What should she fear? There was nothing new to learn here today. Laura shook her head; she had to stop this line of thinking. Giving up hope wasn’t like her. It was likely that she would lose the fight, but fighting she would. She never had accepted fate for what it was, and she wouldn’t start now.

The door at the other end of the room opened, and Laura looked up. Doctor Bailar entered slowly, a serious expression on his face. He had smiled at her before her breast exam. He hadn’t smiled afterwards. That day – had it really been only three days ago? – it would have given her false hope, but today? Would it be so improper to humour a terminally ill patient? Wasn’t it too early for acting like she was nearly dead? Anger raised its ugly head inside of her, but she kept it firmly at bay.

Bailar offered her his hand. “Madame Secretary, I’m glad to see you back here. We didn’t come around to finish our talk last time.”

What a nice way to describe that she had fled his office. Never mind that it had hardly been a talk. Speaking about the weather, about sports was talking. They hadn’t talked at all, he had talked, informed her about his findings.

“Thank you for seeing me this quickly, Dr. Bailar. I’m here to discuss possible treatments with you.”

He nodded, was quiet for a while. It annoyed her.

“Madame Secretary, I don’t want to lie to you. Your prognosis, well, we are talking about advanced breast cancer here. There are not many options left to us.”

“Us?”

It startled him, causing him to blink thrice in rapid succession.

“Anyway, I would strongly advice against surgery at this point of time. The tumour is well beyond that stage. The only thing we can do, only thing sensible to do is radiation therapy followed up by diloxin treatments. In case the tumour shrinks, we could think about surgery in maybe half a year from now.”

No surprises so far, Laura had known what he would suggest. There was nothing about this illness she didn’t know. There was only one question she wanted to ask, it was the question she dreaded the most.

“Dr. Bailar, what are my chances of making it through?”

Pity, there was pity clouding his expression. She didn’t want his frakking pity.

“That’s really hard to say. It depends on…”

She raised her hand to cut him short. “Please, do me the dignity not to mince words here. I know that no one can give me a certain answer, but I want your best estimate.”

“I just can’t…”

“Yes, you can. My chances, Dr. Bailar?”

“Twenty percent, thirty maybe. Your prognosis is very dire. If it had been discovered…” He droned on and on, but it didn’t register with Laura. Twenty or thirty percent. That was akin to a death sentence. It was hardly worth to consider treatment with such kind of a prognosis, to suffer from the pain, the body’s slow deterioration for a chance that was nearly too small to even call it a chance. When her mother had been diagnosed, her chances had been seventy percent or at least that was what the doctors had said. Her mother had died. Died within a year. Where did that leave her now?

But she would fight, she wouldn’t give up until all fight had left her.

“Thank you, doctor.” Laura interrupted the man. “I only have one more question. Radiation therapy, when could I start with it? And will I be able to continue working?”

“We could start next week, but I’m afraid we’d have to admit you to hospital for about two weeks.”

“I don’t think that will be possible. I have obligations. I can’t just disappear for two weeks straight.”

Bailar shook his head. “Madame Secretary, there is nothing we can do about this. There’s no other possibility. Your immune system won’t be able to handle being outside of a sterile environment.”

She had known this, too. Why had she insisted on asking? But how could work and this possible go together? Under the best of circumstances, she wouldn’t have wanted Richard to know about this, but right now, circumstances were less than ideal. It would be a weapon, one he wouldn’t have qualms using. Two weeks, she could never cover two weeks, not even if she insisted she wanted to reduce her pent up vacation days. Gods, but she had to.

“Thank you, Dr. Bailar. I will call your office about final arrangements. I’m sure you understand that this affair has to be handled with the utmost discretion. This administration works hard to interest people in its programs and not the people initiating them. I don’t want my illness being something of public concern.” Her tone might have been a bit harsh, because Bailar frowned at her.

“Of course, Madame Secretary.”

“Thank you, Dr. Bailar.”

She got up quickly, left the office as fast as possible without looking hurried or scared like the last time she had been there. It was time for a plan. If she had only an idea what it would look like.

***

Richard made her wait for him. Although they had scheduled this meeting, although he had never been late to one of their meetings, neither before nor during their affair, he had made his excuses through his secretary. Something about an urgent meeting that couldn’t wait; if she wanted, she could wait, of course.

It seemed Richard was intent to see his plan of her leaving office through. As she had told him, she would fight it, would fight him. Didn’t he know her better? After all these years, did he still underestimate her? Or was it because they had had an affair for such long a time? Laura tried to pinpoint the point when things had started to go awry for the two of them, but couldn’t. Maybe the first mistake had been right at the beginning, on the day she had started her illicit affair with him or better said the day she had given into his prodding. Letting her gaze wander through his spacious office, she wryly thought that this office had seen more action than some bedrooms of married couples. How often had she found herself backed into the wall, sometimes even without any kind of forewarning? Well, why should he have minded his urges? In the end, it had been her having to hide the bruises, not him. When he wanted something, someone, he just took it. How many times had they had to put files back together after they had thrown them to the ground in the heat of the moment?

Maybe things started to go down the hill when he had hired someone to redecorate the office. Laura had missed the black leather couch, never mind that the new glass desk wasn’t as stable as it looked like and couldn’t simply be cleaned with some paper napkins. Come to think of it, they had spent as much time cleaning after themselves as they had doing what they should have never started doing in the first place.

This affair had been a mistake, a grave one. No matter how much she had craved for his touch, no matter how much she had relished the rush of being in constant danger of being caught, she shouldn’t have done it. She had compromised her office, compromised herself. She had taken what hadn’t been hers to take. Richard was married to Pauly, a woman Laura liked, a woman she would have liked to count among her friends if her constant bad conscience hadn’t stood in her way. How often had she met Pauly at one function or the other? How often had she found herself invited to family dinners simply because Pauly liked her?

The door opened, stopping her musings. Richard didn’t smile at her, barely acknowledged her at all while he walked around his desk and took a seat.

“Any problems at Galactica’s decommission ceremony?” he asked without preamble.

“Of course not. Did you expect any?” Was this his new tactic? Trying to find a way to prove she was not capable of doing her job?

He shrugged. “One never knows. Anyway, I hope you have come to your senses in the meantime. I meant it when I said we could need your advice in this administration. And we’ll find a nice reason why you decided to leave office. What about health reasons?”

What an irony. A year ago, she might have considered retirement because of her cancer. Now though, it was the last thing on her mind. Laura had seen Richard doing this before, how he had bullied people into submission, but it wouldn’t work with her. Even as president, he couldn’t do as he pleased. When had he changed that much? Back on his first campaign he had ideals, had believed that it was within his power to change things to the better. It was this faith into himself that had made him stand out in the crowd, that had made him the youngest mayor of Caprica City ever. But things had changed, Richard had changed, slowly, gradually. It might be inevitable that one became cynical in their profession, but when had he lost his sense of justice? Treating teachers like criminals, terrorists, what had he been thinking? She owed it to herself, to the people she was representing to withstand this attack, even if her health demanded otherwise.

“I won’t quit, Richard. You don’t even have to try to convince me otherwise. But honestly, do you really want that? Are you really spoiling for a fight with me?”

Indulgent. He dared to flash her an indulgent smile.

“No one is spoiling for a fight, Laura. But you are in the business for as long as I am, and you know that we can’t have news of this scandal leaking out.”

“Scandal? Which scandal? That you treated teachers like criminals? I distinctively remember having found a peaceful solution for a potentially violent confrontation. Potentially violent because this administration was willing to risk the lives of innocent people.”

Anger flashed in Richard’s eyes. “We had this talk before, and I hate to repeat myself, but this administration will never give in to blackmail. What kind of example would that set? Do you really want to empower the thought of anarchy in people’s heads? It is us who set the rules. There have to be rules. People have to follow them, and if we, the representation, do a good job, there won’t be any reasons for complaints.”  
Laura closed her eyes for a brief moment, not wanting to believe what she was hearing. Why hadn’t she seen this coming? How could she have been that blind? She had lost sight when her friend had become her lover, and now, well, now her lover had become her enemy.

“So you’re trying to tell me that it’s my fault that schools are falling apart? That teachers are underpaid and overworked?”

He just shrugged, trying to stare her down. Something he should have known would prove fruitless. It was him who averted his gaze first.

“Tell me, Richard. Have you forgotten that one third of my budget for last year had been taken to stock up the defence department’s funds? Have you forgotten that you had waved aside each and every official complaint from my department? I have the files downstairs if you need the reminder.”

“Don’t be ridiculous. I explained to you in great length that it was necessary, that we needed to sponsor some missions that hadn’t been covered by their own budget.”

“Missions you never had the good grace to inform me about.”

“I can’t simply share confidential information with everyone. Not even with my…” he broke off, obviously not sure how to continue the sentence.

“Let me help you out. Your secretary of education? Your lover? Your mistress? Your frak buddy? Which one do you like best?”

“There’s no need to become crude, Laura?”

She laughed out. “I’m sorry to disappoint, Mr. President.”

“To come back to business…,” he tried to start anew.

“Let’s make this easy, Richard. I won’t, and I’m serious here, I won’t leave my office. If you try to make me, force me with initiating some fake scandal, I’ll have no qualms about striking back. You don’t want information about the Johnson affair leaking out, do you?”

Hate. For the first time in all the years she had known him, Richard looked at her with hate contorting his usually handsome features.

“You wouldn’t.”

“Believe me, I would. If I had messed up, I’d be the first to quit, but I didn’t, and I won’t become a victim just because you decided that we have become too close, and you don’t want this anymore. There are other ways to end an affair, you know? Do you think it would have broken my heart? We work together, we frakked for a few years, end of story.”

One of his hands balled into a tight fist. “I never thought you so coarse. And you wouldn’t go to the press with the Johnson affair just out of a personal grudge.”

“I would, and I will if I have to, but it has nothing to do with a grudge. You are trying to make me look incompetent. You are trying to take my job, and I won’t let that happen. And just for your information, I got to know a nice journalist two years ago, Thomas Donne from the Caprican News. You might remember him. He interviewed all secretaries, including myself.”

Richard narrowed his eyes. “What is with him?”

“You know, Thomas and I spent a wonderful weekend at some secluded resort in Athens. We still meet for lunch from time to time. I’m sure he would love to do me a favour.”

“I can’t believe it.” Richard shook his head. If he was more shocked that she was well connected or that she had frakked other men throughout their affair, she didn’t know. Not that she cared.

“I can assure you that you can believe every single word. I wished, I really wished it hadn’t come that far, but now that it has, I’ll do everything within my power to protect my office, to protect myself.”

“Laura…”

“No, Richard, I won’t let you frak me over.”

“That’s no way…”

Laura got up from her seat, her eyes locking with his.

“Just for your information, I won’t be in the office the next two weeks. I think it’s finally time for a much deserved vacation. During that time, you can settle things with the teachers’ union. My department will assist you in any way you need.”

“Are you trying to blackmail me?” Richard got up as well, placed his hands flat onto his desk, leaning forward.

“I don’t. I just stated facts. Never mind that you tried to blackmail me into resigning.”

“I didn’t think you’d ever sink this low,” he hissed.

“If I sank low, how would you describe your behaviour then? Sinking low would be dragging our former affair into the limelight, but you didn’t hear me breathe a word about this, did you?”

“Our former affair?”

Laura knew she couldn’t keep her disbelief from showing. She laughed out. “What do you think this is? A minor disturbance, a bump on the road? That once we found a solution that works for us all, we can go back to being friends and continue frakking?”

“I…”

She shook her head. “Honestly, I don’t even want to hear it.” She turned around, left his office without looking back once. It was only when she was back in her own office, the door closed behind her, that she leaned back against it, her body starting to tremble. This had been a confrontation she really hadn’t had the strength for. The cancer, Richard, her frakked up life, it was all too much to bear. Her trembling became worse, the same moment a flash of searing pain soared through her body, its origin lurking in her left breast. She broke into a sweat, and nausea threatened to overwhelm her. Opening her door, she hurried out of her office, passing her confused secretary on her way to the nearest lavatory. She barely made it before losing her meagre lunch, the tiles of the floor cold and rough under her knees.

***

“Laura, I need your help.”

The door to her office opened to reveal Samuel Walker, secretary of transportation and a good friend of hers.

Putting the file she had been reading to the side, she watched him sitting down in one of her visitor chairs.

“Samuel, what a pleasure to see you. Would you like to sit down?” she asked wryly.

He flashed her a broad grin. “Yes, I’d like that. Thank you.”

He was a tall, broad-shouldered man who had turned sixty some months ago, although he didn’t look like it. Samuel was someone who liked to smile a lot, who refused to take life too seriously. He was a seasoned, cunning politician who, despite everything, had never lost his touch with reality.

“What kind of help are we talking about exactly?” Laura asked when he just kept on smiling.

“Nothing fancy, really. All I’d like to ask from you is to grant me some hours of your precious time so that I can spend them in your lovely company.”

“No, Samuel. No. Wherever you have to go, ask your lovely ex-wife or one of your countless girlfriends.”

“Laura, come on. I ask you for a reason. I want someone with class to accompany me.”

She raised an eyebrow. “That’s not a compliment for either of the women I just mentioned.”

He lifted his hands in a gesture of surrender. “You know my taste in women. My fine-tuned instinct for politics never extended to this part of my life. Thank the Gods I only married once.”

“All right, Samuel, let’s get to the point. What kind of function do you want to drag me to this time?”

During the years, she had often accompanied him to one party or the other, especially when it was at a time when he was single or dating an especial peculiar kind of woman. It was not that he wasn’t good company, he was. But he had the unfortunate trait to forget about her when he caught sight of a woman that awakened his predatory instincts. More than once she had attended a party with him only to have to find her way home alone. Although he tended to make up for it. Sad as it was, she had gotten the most beautiful flowers and the best chocolate from him and not from a lover. Not that he had never tried to get into her bed. Especially in the first years, he had tried his luck several times, but she had resisted, easily.

Throughout the years, she had her own share of flings and one-night stands, but it was nothing she wanted to experience with Samuel. She valued their friendship too much to put it through such a test.

“It’s something nice, actually,” he interrupted her musings. “A wedding.”

“No, definitely no. I’m in no mood to put up with a room full of smiling, happy people right now, especially if I don’t know any of them. And I won’t know anyone, am I right?”

“Laura, are you all right?” he asked, suddenly concerned.

Laura bit her lip, knowing she had reacted too harsh. “I’m sorry. I’m just a little bit tired. So who is the couple marrying?”

“An old college friend of mine. We all thought he’d never be stupid enough to end up marrying, but it seems we were wrong. He actually sounds deliriously happy. Anyway, it’s this Saturday, and I would love if you could be my date for this occasion.”

Saturday, two days before her treatment would start. It wasn’t a good idea to say yes, not with her panic attacks and the nausea, not with the pain that hit her without any forewarning. However, sitting at home, her thoughts only circling around this one thing – her cancer – wasn’t a good idea either.

“Fine, Samuel. I’ll do it, but if you leave me hanging yet again, this will be the end of our friendship.”

It was an empty threat, and they both knew it.

TBC


	2. Chapter 2

Bill hadn’t expected it to be that many people. Looking around the hotel’s spacious ball room, he shook his head at the crowd assembled there. He didn’t know any of these people. Trying to spot bride and groom, he failed. Sure, he had been invited to the actual wedding ceremony and could have offered his congratulations earlier, but it had been something he found he couldn’t do.

Figuring that the two he was looking for were most likely outside in the garden, he squeezed his way past people. It was insane. If he had to guess, he would say that at least two hundred people were there, maybe even three hundred. Since when had Carolanne that many friends? Although, had he ever really known Carolanne? After another five minutes of looking around, he finally saw them. Carolanne and her husband were standing in a group that had positioned itself right beside an impressive water fountain, not that Bill had any mind to notice its beauty at the moment. He didn’t want to be here, he just didn’t. But he owed it to her, to Lee who stood beside his mother, talking to Kara. Bill hadn’t known that his son would bring Starbuck. Hell, until midweek, when he had arrived on Caprica, he hadn’t even known that he was invited to this joyous happening. Joyous at least for the others. People seemed to have a grand time if the smiling faces were any indication.

He had almost reached them when Carolanne spotted him, her smile not faltering but becoming more stilted. Lee, following her gaze, tensed. Only Kara was looking at him with an open smile. Thankfully, he didn’t feel any hostility from Carolanne’s husband who watched him with mild curiosity. Gods, what was his name again?

“Bill, I’m so happy that you could make it.” Carolanne stepped forward, enfolding him in a gentle yet faked embrace. Neither her voice nor her eyes held any real warmth. It didn’t surprise him. The only surprising thing had been to be invited in the first place.  
He offered his congratulations, exchanging greetings with others. Lee regarded him coolly, anger visible in his every feature. Kara, not being under his command any longer, didn’t show any inhibitions, though, walking up to him, kissing him on his cheek.

“It’s good to see you, Commander.”

“I’m not your superior officer anymore,” he softly chided her.

“True, but I thought it would be impolite to refer to you as ‘old man’.”

He laughed out loud; leave it to Kara to lighten up the mood. After another minute of exchanging empty words, Bill excused himself, making his way over to the bar on the inside. Ordering Ambrosia neat, he took some sips, his eyes wandering along the room yet seeing nothing. He had thought he might feel pain at seeing Carolanne marrying someone else, he had hoped to feel relieved, the guilt he carried inside him finally easing, knowing that she had found happiness. What he hadn’t expected was to feel nothing, but that’s how it was. He didn’t care that the woman he once thought he loved more than anyone else had given herself to another man. Sure, what once had been love had turned into anger, into desperation, into nothing a long time ago. Still, Carolanne and he had shared years with each other, had raised two sons. To find that he didn’t care about her fate was slightly disconcerting, and he didn’t really want to think about what that might tell about him. Maybe he should just leave; he didn’t think anyone would ever notice. But there was still the chance to talk to Lee later on. If there was one thing he wanted for retirement, it was an improved relationship with his son. No one could undo the past, he couldn’t go back to become the caring father he should have been, but he could try to find an opening, a way for them to talk. He had already lost Zak, he didn’t want to lose Lee as well.

Draining his drink, he ordered another one before starting to wander around aimlessly. He wasn’t made for such events, didn’t fit in with all those others who were chatting, dancing, sitting at one of the few tables in here, devouring food that was chosen because it was expensive and not because it was tasty. Not that it was the first time that he felt like the only one swimming against the current. Deciding to head back outside, he saw something that let him stop dead in his tracks. It seemed he wasn’t the only person being unhappy about being here today, although she was the last one he would have expected to find at this place. Laura Roslin was sitting at one of the tables, swirling the liquid in the glass she was holding. What was she doing here? She surely didn’t know Carolanne, did she? So far, she hadn’t noticed him yet, and like back on Galactica, he watched her for some moments. It wouldn’t do to lie. She looked beautiful in an elegant, black dress. It showed a sinful amount of cleavage and was short enough to make the best of her long, slender legs. Her hair was flowing wavy over her shoulders. She would easily be one of the most beautiful women in here if it wasn’t for the expression of profound sadness on her face. Maybe he should just let her be, forget that she was here. The last thing he needed was to entangle with her in any way. He didn’t like her. Still, the whole situation had him intrigued. What brought her here? Why was she alone and obviously not enjoying herself? He knew why he wasn’t, but what was her reason? This woman proved to be a mystery time and again, albeit an annoying one. Making up his mind, he walked over to her; he had nothing better to do anyway.

“Good evening, Madame Secretary.”

She looked up at him, clearly startled. “Commander Adama, what a surprise to see you here.”

“I’m not commander anymore.” He didn’t know where that had come from. He didn’t mean to say it, didn’t mean to sound this bitter. Her eyes became distant, though her smile didn’t falter.

“Sorry, I forgot about your retirement. So, it’s a surprise to see you here, Mr. Adama.”

“Bill,” he said, trying to make amends.

She nodded. “Laura.” Looking around, she seemed to check if he was alone. “Would you like to take a seat?”

Did he want that? No. Yes. Nodding, he took her up on her offer, choosing a seat opposite of her.

“Are you her on the bride’s or the groom’s side?” It was the question bothering him most, the idea that she was one of Carolanne’s friends being too much to really comprehend.

“Neither. I’m just accompanying a friend.”

It shouldn’t matter, but he was relieved.

“What about you?”

He suppressed an irritated sigh; he should have expected the question. “The bride’s.”

“I see. So do you know her for long?”

He snorted. “You could say that. We were married for sixteen years.”

He had surprised her. She blinked, her hand still playing with her drink stilling. She let out a small laugh before schooling her expression into one of polite neutrality again. “I have to admit I didn’t expect that. How long have you been divorced?”

“Fifteen years.”

She took him in more closely, her gaze penetrating him easily. It made him uncomfortable, but he refused to flinch. He gripped the glass in his hand harder before draining the remaining liquid.

“I imagine it’s still weird to attend an ex-partner’s wedding.”

“It is.” He wanted to steer the conversation from this topic, though not knowing how. Talking had never been his forte in contrast to her whose profession it was to talk people in and out of things.

“Is your wife here as well?” she asked when he remained silent.

“My wife?” What was she talking about? He followed her gaze to his wedding band. That he still wore it was something he could hardly explain to himself, and he would be damned if he tried to make a stranger understand. That was what she was, a stranger, wasn’t she?  
“I’m not married. But where’s your husband or partner?” he asked turning the tables on her. “I guess he’s the one originally invited if you know neither bride nor groom.”

“Samuel’s busy scouting the territory,” she said, nodding at a man who was dancing in close embrace with some young, blonde woman. “But to come back to your question, he knows the groom. Obviously they’re good friends.”

She didn’t know? What was her relationship with this Samuel? Didn’t she care that he was hitting on some other woman in front of her eyes? Looking at her hand, he noticed that she wasn’t wearing a wedding band, but that didn’t have to mean a thing. He was the best example, wasn’t he?

Silence fell between them. Bill was staring into his empty glass. There were many things he would like to ask her: Who was Samuel? What was it that seemed to have her on the edge? But none of these things were for him to know. He wouldn’t pry, that had never been his style. But Laura Roslin wasn’t very forthcoming herself. However, something was wrong with the picture she presented. She was dressed in a way that should have her know that she’d draw the attention of men to herself. Yet, the way she gave herself screamed to leave her the Hades alone. She was a puzzle whose pieces didn’t fit together. He hardly noticed that she emptied her glass, putting it onto the table, getting up.

“It was nice seeing you again, Bill.”

He got up as well, taking her hand into his. For a moment, he got caught up in the way she looked, her black dress accentuating all the right places. He didn’t want her to go.

“Would you like to dance?” he asked, his hand still holding hers. The question surprised her. It surprised him, too.

“I…”

“Just one dance. I don’t think Samuel would mind,” he added with a glance at the man who still was oblivious to the world, being busy with feeling up his dancing partner, the hand at the small of her back, sitting a bit too low for a dance between strangers. Something gave Bill the feeling that they wouldn’t remain strangers much longer.

“I guess you’re right,” she answered wryly, an amused twinkle in her eyes. Squeezing his hand, she nodded at him, giving her silent consent to the dance.

Bill still didn’t know why he had asked her to dance in the first place, but could hardly back out now. Not that he wanted. He wanted to, he just didn’t know why.

They fit well together, and, thanks to her heels, they were nearly the same height. Placing his free hand on her waist, he started to move them over the dance floor. It was easy, too easy, they didn’t know each other, shouldn’t be that much in tune with each other. It was their first dance, yet it felt as if they had shared countless more. She seemed to think the same, because when her gaze met his, it held the same surprise.

“You’re a good dancer,” she said, a smile playing around her lips. Bill didn’t know why he was so sure, but this might have been the first real smile she had given him so far.

“So are you.” He smiled back at her, her hand grasping his just that much stronger. “I hate weddings.” Another thing he hadn’t meant to say.  
She replied with a chuckle. “As do I. Did you notice that you only ever get an invitation to the weddings, but that divorces are a much quieter thing?”

A laugh escaped him. How did she manage to catch him by surprise every so often? “So I noticed.”

“You know, such large weddings always make me wonder. I mean no one has that many close friends. How can you enjoy your own wedding if you have to worry about a few hundred guests? If it was me, I’d prefer a quieter setting.”

This was the prefect opening to inquire about her own marital status, but he kept silent  
.  
“I agree. A wedding should be an intimate affair, a ceremony of love for two people wanting to join hearts and not a state affair.”

She nodded, laughing out again. “Let’s not complain, at least the food and the music are good. But I’m surprised to find that we agree on something for a change.”

He pulled away slightly, looking at her. There was nothing but wry amusement in her expression so he took the gentle teasing for what it was. The song ended, a faster one starting. He didn’t feel like it, didn’t feel like this wedding. Giving in to his impulse, he stepped back, not letting go of Laura yet.

“You know that your company is about to disappear with this blonde.”

Laura gave a hearty chuckle. “I know, not that I expected anything else.”

Bill raised his eyebrow, not quite sure what to make of this comment. “Anyway, I’d rather leave myself. I know a bar not that far from here. They have the best cocktails in town. If you like…” Was he crazy? What was he thinking? He couldn’t just disappear. It was rude; he had wanted to talk to Lee, and what about Laura Roslin? Why did he ask her to come along?

“An interesting offer. But I’m surprised. You don’t even like me.”

He looked at her, surprised. Were his thoughts etched on his face?

“I wouldn’t say that.”

“You wouldn’t?” She sounded amused.

“Well, we seem to have different opinions of a lot of things, but -” he stopped himself. If he was truthful, he wasn’t overly fond of her, still…

“Look, I don’t enjoy myself here; you don’t seem to enjoy yourself. We can always try to waste our time somewhere else. I know that I have enough of this. But it’s up to you if you come along.” He came across more gruff than he had intended, although she didn’t seem to be offended.

Extricating herself from the embrace he had never released her out of, she gave him a long look as if looking for an explanation for his invitation. Finally, she nodded.

“Let’s go.”

***

This was crazy. She was crazy. Following Adama to the reception area to pick up their coats, she asked herself what in the name of the Twelve Colonies had made her agree to his offer. He was an enigmatic man, no question about that, but they were more likely to wind up arguing or giving each other the silent treatment than to uphold a friendly conversation for any length of time. Not to mention that she had come with Samuel, although he seemed to have forgotten about her for the moment. Not that it was a wonder. Why did she agree to accompany him somewhere again and again? She knew the outcome. Still, there was the small chance that he would look for her sooner or later. Gods, she wasn’t even in the mood for company. Treatment was only another two days away, and she just couldn’t shake off the dread at the thought of it. Yet, here she was, not one word of complaint crossing her lips while Adama helped her into her coat. That he wanted to flee was something she could understand. To attend the wedding of the one who had belonged to you in the past must feel strange no matter how the relationship had evolved after the divorce. But why did he want to drag her along? She could see in his eyes that she irked him as much as he irked her.

It was a short walk to the bar, and they spent it in silence. Inside, it was cosy, though. It was just a small place, only dimly lit, candles on the small tables adding to the atmosphere. Not many people were there, something that surprised Laura, though maybe they were all at the wedding, something that wouldn’t surprise her. The thought made her smile, earning her a quizzical look from Adama. Taking a seat at the table farthest from the entrance, they ordered two drinks. Looking at Adama, Laura didn’t know what to say. There were many things she would like to ask him, but none of her questions were appropriate for their short acquaintance. This was a mistake. Maybe she should run as long as she still could.

“What are you planning to do now?”

“Now that I’m retired you mean?”

She nodded, he shrugged. “I haven’t really thought about it, yet. There was always too much to do to think about it before.”

He didn’t want to talk about it. It wasn’t hard to see. Laura wondered how much Adama blamed her for his retirement. Did he really think she had gotten a kick out of Galactica’s decommission?

“Galactica was the oldest ship in the fleet. You were on the list for retirements anyway, so the admiralty figured Galactica was the right ship for the project, that it was easier to take this old ship out of service than looking for a new commanding officer for it.”

He watched her, his face unreadable, giving nothing away. Their drinks arrived, interrupting the moment, and she wondered how long they might have tried to stare each other down otherwise. She took a sip of her drink which was bright orange. It tasted sweet, of orange juice, yet barely covering the flavour of alcohol. Laura doubted it was wise to drink alcohol at all, especially after the two glasses of Ambrosia she had had earlier. Although did she really care? This might be the last chance to drink herself into oblivion for only the gods knew how long.  
Chances were slim, too, that she would see Adama again. So why not? She took another sip, ignoring that Adama was still watching her.  
“What are you planning for your retirement when it’s due.”

His question stunned her into silence. Turn about was fair play, sure, and would she retire today she wouldn’t know what to do with herself either. Wasn’t it rather sad how one could forget how to live over working? This wasn’t what had her heart beating painfully in her chest, though. It was the sudden realisation that there might not be a retirement for her. Would her life up to this point be everything there ever was? Was that it? Was dying all there was left for her to do?

“Are you all right?” Adama asked her. Laura realised she had been staring her drink. Her hand trembled when it wrapped around her glass.

“I’m fine, thank you.”

“You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

She tried to smile, although she knew he could see right through her. “I don’t believe in ghosts. But for my retirement…” she took another moment to compose herself. “I think I’d like to travel. There are more colonies than Caprica, and I never had the chance to really travel around. The hot springs on Canceron, the snow mountains on Libra…”

“Have you ever been to the diamond caves on Tauron?”

She hadn’t, listened to Bill while he told her about his stay on Tauron. So they had something in common, even if it was only their love for travelling. For a precious hour, she forgot who she was, that she was ill, that she should have stayed at the wedding, and that she wasn’t that fond of Bill Adama at all, although she wasn’t all too sure about the latter anymore. During their conversation, he had slowly opened up, becoming more animated, showing glimpses of the man hidden behind the stoic mask of a battlestar commander. Finishing her second drink, she knew it was time to wake up from this respite from reality. She began to feel woozy, and it was best to end this night while her dignity was still intact.

“Well, this was an interesting evening, unexpected but not unwelcome. But I’ll call it a night now.”

For a moment, Bill looked like he was disappointed and surprised by it, but he quickly schooled his features. “Same here.” When she wanted to pay for her drinks, he stopped her, putting his hand on hers. Her skin tingled where his touched hers.

“Let me.”

“You don’t have to.”

“Gods, woman, don’t be so stubborn,” he growled. He, too, was inebriated and it made Laura smile.

“Look, it was nice, but…”

He rolled his eyes at her. “Can’t you just take this for what it is?”

He was right. Why was she trying to make this complicated? He didn’t offer to marry her, but to pay for her drinks. Hadn’t it been ages since she’d been out with someone treating her like a lady? Adama might not like her much, but, still, he knew how to show a woman a good evening. Whenever she had been out with Richard, it had been to show up on some official event or the other, there hadn’t been anything personal about it. In all the years, it had been exactly twice that it had only been the two of them, though even then it hadn’t been more than a quick dinner in a shady restaurant on Saggitaron either. And her last real date? She had gone to the opera with a guy named James. Gods, did she have a dreadful time that night. Not only had he almost fallen asleep during the opera, but later, he just hadn’t stopped talking, thinking his job as broker at Caprica’s stock exchange made him interesting. The sad truth was that the last two hours had been the best in quite some time.

“Well, then thank you,” she said, hoping her smile would convey the gratitude she felt.

Once on the outside, Adama turned to her. “I’m going to call a cab. Where do you need to go? Maybe we can share one?”

“Johnson Plaza.” Was it just her imagination or was he, too, reluctant to see this evening end. Well, if he wasn’t married but still wearing his wedding band, that couldn’t have been an easy evening for him.

“That’s on my way. So what do you say?”

“Sounds fine.”

They didn’t have to wait long, a cab arriving after hardly five minutes. Getting in, Laura found that Adama was sitting too close for comfort. His calm eyes resting on hers, his body radiating heat while hers felt too cold. He was so alive, so very there while she was rotting from the inside. It was unfair. Life was unfair. He had a future, although he didn’t know what to make with it. She had… only hope for a future and even not much of that.

“Everything all right?” he asked, his fingers lightly touching her right knee. She startled at the light, gentle touch; a touch she hadn’t thought him capable of.

“Of course.”

“You don’t look like it.”

Laura realised that he had caught her reflection in the window while she had been staring out. Even after a few drinks, his senses were still sharp, he wasn’t a man to underestimate.

“I was just wondering what Samuel is up to now.”

“Samuel?”

“My company for the wedding.”

Bill snorted. “I guess up is the operating word here.”

“That’s a bad pun, Bill.” Laura laughed, not because it had actually been that funny, but because all that pent up emotion needed an out.  
“Why did you accompany him anyway? He doesn’t seem to be the most reliable company.”

“He isn’t. But he asked me, and I like him. We’re colleagues, he resides some offices away from mine, and he can be rather persistent if he wants to be.”

“I bet he is. So you’re not together?”

She turned fully to him. Of what interest was her relationship with Samuel to him? “No, we’re not. No matter what you might think, I’m not that crazy.”

“I never thought you were.”

“You just don’t like me?” There it was out in the open again, the elephant in the room that went everywhere they did.

“You never mince words, do you?”

She gave him a wry smile. “Only if I have to. I’m a politician. But you like to answer questions with questions, don’t you?”

Bill contemplated her for a long moment as if unsure what to do with her, the muscles in his jaw clenching and unclenching.

“It’s not that I dislike you. It’s…”

“It’s just that you don’t particularly like me.” Her laughter sounded throaty, amusement and desperation raging inside of her. What was she doing? Who cared if he liked her? Who cared if anyone liked her?

She averted her eyes, the fingers of his left hand twitching, reminding them both that it still rested on her knee. Their gazes met and everything seemed to happen at once. Her body involuntarily shuddered at the light touch, Bill’s eyes lit up with an unfathomable emotion; they both leaned forward at the same time, their lips coming together in a frenzied kiss.

There was nothing gentle about this kiss, just his lust meeting her desperation. He pulled her closer so that she was halfway sitting on his lap, this tongue invading her mouth, plundering it. She gave back as good as got, refusing to let her brain kick in, to ask herself how she could let this happen. His hand wandered from her knee up her thigh farther under her dress that had ridden up her legs thanks to her shifting around. She didn’t frakking care. Her hand twined in his hair, pulling him even closer. When they had to part for air, a moan escaped her lips as he started to nibble his way down her throat. It was a loud moan, one that never should have left her lips. Not when she was the secretary of education, not while she was in a public cab. She didn’t frakking care. Bill didn’t seem to care either. His mouth went back to find hers, and Laura lost herself in his kiss. She liked how he tasted, liked how her body trembled when his tongue slid over hers. There was another moan, though she didn’t know if it had been hers or his. He didn’t like her, she wasn’t fond of him, but it was of no importance. It felt good to be held in his arms, it felt good when one of his hands tangled itself in strands of her hair, it felt good when the other cupped her left breast, seeking and finding her already taut nipple under the fabric of her dress. He rolled the stiff bud between his thumb and forefinger, squeezing her breast at the same time.

Pain gripped her body in a sudden outburst, radiating from the hard knot in her breast, spreading everywhere, leaving her shaking, yanking herself from Bill’s embrace with much more force than she thought she possessed. He looked at her bewildered, but she hardly noticed over her trembling body, a fine sheen of sweat covering her skin. She closed her eyes against the wave of nausea that threatened to overwhelm her. There was no way she could give in to her body. She couldn’t throw up, not here, not now. Tears welled up in her eyes, but she tried to keep them at bay, will them away. When she thought she might be able to hold it together, she opened her eyes, turning to Bill. He looked confused, as far as his face gave something away, but thankful not angry.

Gods, what had she done? Making out like a cheap whore with a man she hardly knew, a man that didn’t even want her but just a warm body to keep his thoughts from his ex-wife’s new marriage. Maybe she was too harsh to herself, to him. Maybe she wasn’t. And hadn’t she tried to use him as well. Use him to forget about her fate for just a few precious minutes. How far would she have let this go anyway? Gods, she had to get out of here.

“What’s the matter, Laura?” He reached out, touched her arm. Laura flinched. A glint of anger appeared in Bill’s eyes. “What the frak?”

A quick glance out of the window told Laura that they had nearly reached their destination.

“Stop here, please,” she told the cab driver.

“Laura, what does this mean?”

She had to get out. She couldn’t bear this, bear him. The physical pain, the emotional one, it was too much. The cab driver halted near the boardwalk, and Laura hastily took some cubits handing them to him with shaking hands. It was surely way too much, but she couldn’t concentrate, the nausea becoming worse with every passing second. That she had been drinking so much today wasn’t helping things along either.

She stumbled out of the car, heading for her apartment building, not looking back. Of course, Adama had followed her, she should have known he would.

He turned her toward him, his tight grip bruising her upper arms.

“Would you care to explain to me what just happened?”

She couldn’t, didn’t want to. A groan escaped her when another wave of pain uncoiled in her body. She took a deep breath, hoping he would think she was merely drunk.

“I’m sorry. That was a mistake. I shouldn’t have encouraged this.”

“A mistake?”

“Yes, you didn’t really want to do this, I really didn’t want to do this. A mistake. I apologize.”

Please, he had to let go of her. She had no idea how much longer she would be able to hold it together.

“Don’t tell me what I want. You acted like you’ve seen a ghost. You still do. You’re all sweaty and shaking. Something’s wrong, and I want to know what it is. Did I do something that caused this?”

She tried to focus on him through the haze of nausea. He sounded worried, and he looked it. Did he really think it was his fault? It wasn’t, still she couldn’t stay to explain. She had to get home.

“Let me go.” She tried to free herself from him, but he wouldn’t budge.

“No, I want an explanation.”

Ire rose inside of her. Who did he think he was? She owed him nothing.

“Let me go. This was a mistake. Nothing more. You never really wanted me anyway.” She knew she sounded like a lunatic but couldn’t stop some tears from trailing down her face. Why could the frakking pain not just go away? It was her worst attack as of yet, fuelled by panic, alcohol and a guilty conscience.

“You have to let me go, please.”

His hands, finally, let go of her, falling to his sides. He took a step back, looked at her, clearly puzzled by her outburst. She must be quite the sight: sweaty, flushed, trembling… oh frak.

“Laura, what’s the matter. Please, talk to me.” His voice was soft now, tried to calm her, even if he looked alarmed.

She hardly knew him; right now she was at her absolute worst, still she wanted to trust him, to confide in him, but she knew she couldn’t. No one could know. If knowledge of her illness ever became public, she could forget about holding on to her job. The secretary of education didn’t have friends.

“It’s nothing. Just believe me, you don’t want to become entangled with me.”

“How can you be so sure?”

He didn’t mean it, couldn’t mean it. If he knew, he would run screaming as fast as he could.

“I am sure. I’m… I’m broken goods. Just forget it.”

“Broken goods. Laura, what…?”

She took another ragged breath. “Just leave me the frak alone.”

She rounded him, walking toward her apartment as fast as she could. This time, he didn’t follow her.

TBC


	3. Chapter 3

Bill had slept badly. Even the alcohol in his bloodstream hadn’t been enough to let him sink into oblivion. Something had gone incredibly wrong, but he wasn’t able to pinpoint what it was. He had never intended to talk to Laura Roslin in the first place, to dance with her, to invite her for drinks and, most certainly not to make out with her. Though in hindsight, the whole progression seemed inevitable. Laura Roslin was a complex woman that held a certain fascination he was unable to resist. She was beautiful, intelligent, witty, maybe too stubborn for his liking; all in all, she was an enigma that had piqued his curiosity.

He turned in bed again, a glance at the clock on his nightstand telling him that it was only two to five in the morning. He groaned, shut his eyes again, yet knowing that it was useless. Once awake, sleep wouldn’t find him again. Never mind that not only two weeks ago, this had been his usual get up time. Old habits died hard, after all. After another five minutes, he gave up, trudging over to his bathroom in hopes that a shower would sober him up.

The water was cold, ice cold. He shivered, yet he didn’t turn it warmer, cherishing the clarity of thought it left in its wake. What the frak had really happened last night? She had seemed to enjoy their kissing as much as he had if her ferocious response to him had been any indication. It was not until he had touched her breast that she had recoiled from him, an expression of horror – or was it pain? – on her face. But he hadn’t squeezed too hard. No, he didn’t get it. Carolanne had told him more than once that he was unable to understand women. Bill started to think she was right. He got out of his narrow shower, towelling himself dry. Naked apart from a small towel around his waist, he walked over to his tiny kitchen to prepare himself some coffee. Glancing around his apartment, he sighed. Everything about this place was tiny, small, narrow. He needed to look for a new living space soon. Outside, it was still dark, and only a few early risers as well as some partygoers, who were on their way home, were heading along the dimly lit streets. Bill turned his back to them, watched his coffee maker instead, the steady drip of dark droplets into the glass carafe. Another thing he would have to get used to. One of the few perks of commanding a battlestar had been that he never had to bother with making his own coffee or tea, his own dinner, although, he had always enjoyed cooking. Maybe it was about time to reactivate some rusty skills.

When the coffee was ready, he poured himself a cup, took it with him, sitting down on his bed, his back resting against the wall. His original plan for today had been to visit an old friend before buying a stack of newspapers to look for apartments or houses. Now, he felt too restless. No, the mystery of Laura Roslin’s sudden withdrawal held him in a tight grip. He wanted to understand what had happened, although he had the feeling it had less to do with him than with something else. But he would never know if he didn’t talk to her. He nodded to himself. Yes, that was what he should do and would do. He might have neither an address nor a telephone number, but he knew how to obtain that information. Decision made, he grabbed the book on his nightstand, spending the next few hours reading. This, at least, was something good about retirement. Now, he would have the time to read all the books he had never come around to more than peek at.  
Later that morning, he called around, obtaining the information he needed in less than five minutes. There weren’t many buildings at Johnson Plaza, and the third call he made was the last one. The area mostly housed people from the upper class, so the buildings had day and night guards. The friendly guard had told him he would put him through to Ms Roslin, but Bill had already hung up. He wanted to talk to her face to face. If he wanted to know the truth about what had transpired, he would rather find it in her eyes than in the words she would choose. Maybe it was stupid, but he couldn’t let it rest.

He dressed quickly, left his apartment before he could come to his senses. Choosing to walk, it took him well over forty minutes, but he wasn’t in a hurry. The day was warm, yet not too warm. He passed several families; mothers tending to children in buggies, fathers with elder children at their hands. Some of them looked stressed, hurried, others were smiling. How had it been with Carolanne and the boys? Had they ever been that happy? He hadn’t been around much, there hadn’t been enough moments spent with his family, hardly ever an afternoon outside where they just enjoyed their time together. When had everything started to fall apart? Had it been he who had failed his family? Had it been Carolanne? Had it been his work? The truth was Carolanne and he should have never married. They had been too different. He had loved her, and he was sure she had loved him, too, but in the end, it hadn’t been enough. She had wanted more from life than he could give her, had wanted a family, a man who actually was around, she had wanted to go to parties, enjoy dinners with other families, she had wanted all at once. But he couldn’t give her all. He had worked hard, had provided for his family, but in his case, it had meant that he had been off planet most of the year. To be fair, it hadn’t been all Carolanne’s fault. The times he had spent at home, he had been too distant, needing too long to figure out how to fit into a family which was used to sustain itself. He had expected his family would embrace him, that they would be simply happy to see him, but he had been as much of a stranger to them as they had been strangers to him. It wasn’t really a wonder that their relationship had crumbled under their unrealistic expectations. It had broken his heart, but in the end, it hadn’t been a real tragedy. That their sons had to suffer, though, that was something he would never be able to forgive himself.

He reached his destination, hesitated for just a moment before he entered the building. Now, he would see if Laura was willing to talk to him or not. The day guard at the reception gave him a curt smile before he reached for his phone to call Laura to ask if he should send him up. If she didn’t want to talk to him, he would have to leave. The man listened intently before he nodded at him, putting the receiver down again.

“Ms Roslin is expecting you. It’s floor eighteen, the third apartment to the left.”

Bill nodded his thanks and headed toward the elevators.

She was already waiting for him when he left the small cabin. Her small frame was blocking his view into her apartment, apprehension was written all over her face. She wasn’t happy to see him.

“Hey,” he greeted her as he approached her slowly.

She nodded in reply, but didn’t move.

“I’d like to talk to you.”

She sighed, deflating even more before his eyes, and he noticed the dark circles around her eyes. It seemed he wasn’t the only one affected by what had happened the night before.

“I don’t think this is a good idea,” she finally offered. Bill stopped when only a few feet were separating them.

“I just want to understand. Won’t you let me in?” He nodded towards her apartment.

She hesitated for a long moment, but finally stepped aside, letting him pass her. The differences between her apartment and his own were enormous. Where his was just a place to sleep hers was a real home. Hers was spacious with expensive furniture in light colours. A few selected replicas of art graced her walls and some paintings he had never seen before. They might be from rather unknown artists or from herself. She didn’t leave him much time for contemplation, though but guided him straight to her living room. Her hand pointed to her leather couch, her armchairs, offering him a seat, but he preferred to remain standing. So did she. He turned to her, the silence between them loaded and awkward. Her hands were hidden in the long sleeves of her sweater, her arms crossed over her chest. The sweater left most of her shoulders bare. It distracted him. He forced his gaze away from her freckled skin, looking at her face betraying her unease, instead.  
“What did happen yesterday? I know that everything happened fast, too fast, shouldn’t have happened at all, still…”

It was clearly the question she had expected. She deflated just that bit more, and although she held his gaze, her tongue snuck out, wetted her lips.

“How did you find me here?” Her voice was steady, self-assured, a stark contrast to her other demeanour.

“You’re trying to answer a question with a question?”

She shrugged, her sweater baring a bit more of her shoulder. “There’s no good answer. I realised we were making a mistake so I put a stop to it. I was a bit too harsh, I know, and I apologise. But I had a bit too much to drink. We both had. It was a simple case of two adults who had a bad day, too much to drink -”

“That’s bullshit. Something happened the moment I touched…”

“Stop it,” she nearly spit out. “Please.” Her tone softer now, her eyes softening, begging him to let it go.

“I just want to understand.”

“There’s nothing to understand.”

“Laura, please.” Bill didn’t know himself anymore. What was he doing here? He had no business at this place. Wrong, he had almost frakked a woman he hardly knew, and yes, she had stopped them cold when she changed her mind. If she hadn’t – but she had. That was hardly the end of the world. So what made him think he had to know the exact reason why? What did he sense about her? That there was something she was hiding, he was sure of. Breaking their eye contact, Laura walked around him to her windows, her back to him now.  
“I’m sorry, Bill. I really am, but I can’t talk to you. I just can’t. Never mind that there is a certain irony about this all, isn’t there?” Her voice was flat, holding no emotions.

“Irony?”

“If you go back a week to the first time we met on Galactica, would you have ever thought it possible that we have such a discussion? Anyway, just go. Find someone you actually respect and forget about all what happened.”

“Who says that I don’t respect you?” Why was she so intent to stir the discussion away from the one thing he really wanted, needed to know?

“You do? But it doesn’t matter. We were looking for a comfort frak, nothing more. But I couldn’t do it. I didn’t mean to lead you on. I can only hope you believe me.”

He reduced the distance between them, though she didn’t seem to notice. “What did you mean when you said you were broken goods?”  
He had shocked her. She whirled around, raw vulnerability clouding her eyes. “I didn’t mean a thing.”

“Laura?” Another step. He reached out, touched her gently on her left shoulder. It was as contact of skin on skin, made his fingertips tingle.

She took a step forward, her breath hitching. Turning to him, she looked as if he had burned her, as if he had burned her with a simple touch.

“No, just believe me. I can’t… I can’t tell you. If…” She turned away from him again.

He was stumped. She was crushed, he could tell, but by what, he didn’t know. Maybe he should leave, give her the peace she claimed to crave, but he found he couldn’t move. To see such a strong woman at the verge of breaking down was shattering. Something inside him longed to reach out to her, to help her find her footing again. He might not know her well, might not know her at all, but something told him that it wasn’t like her to show vulnerability just like that.

“If what?”

She took a deep breath and fell silent again. He started to think she wouldn’t answer at all then she spoke. “If anyone ever finds about this I can forget about my job. Everything I reached so far would have been in vain.”

Anger bubbled up inside of him. Who did she think he was? That he would go and gloat about nearly having frakked the secretary of education? “I never had any intention to tell a soul about what happened. I have more important things going on in my life. Thank you very much for your vote of confidence. It might be best if I leave now. I shouldn’t have come. I apologise, Madame Secretary.” Bill turned toward the door. He should have trusted his first assessment of her. This woman was clearly only interested in herself. What he had mistaken for pain most probably was only her fear that the press might find out that she made out drunk in public.

“I wasn’t talking about that thing between us.” Her voice was calm, quiet, yet it stopped him dead in his tracks. He turned around. She still had her back to him.

“What are you talking about?”

“I’m ill.”

A wave of foreboding overcame him. He dreaded to ask, though how could he not? Wasn’t the truth what he had come for? “Ill?”

Straightening imperceptibly, she faced him again. “I’m dying, and I’d prefer if no one knew about it, at least not yet.”

He was frozen, his body refused to move while thoughts were running wildly through his head. It couldn’t be true, she couldn’t be dying, not a woman so vibrant, so alive. “I think I don’t understand.”

A pained smile flickered over her face. “Cancer, terminal breast cancer.” Her spine straightened even more. She radiated a profound dignity in the face of terror and desperation. “When you touched my breast last night, it sliced right through my body. I wanted to get in here before I would have surely passed out.”

“I’m sorry.” And he was. Why? Why her? “I don’t know what to say.”

She smiled at him, and seeing how hard she tried to keep it together nearly took his breath away.

“You could tell me that you’ll keep this information to yourself. You might not know it, but there had been a teacher’s strike on Caprica, and settling it… well, let’s say not everyone was happy with the outcome. I can’t have information about the cancer leaking out. You might wonder why I still care, but I do. Like it or not, but I’m good at what I’m doing, and I don’t want to give it up, yet.”

Bill had problems to process what she was saying, was still trying to overcome the original shock. But he nodded, wanting to reassure her. “What about treatment?” he heard himself ask.

She snorted, hugging herself even tighter. “I’ll be having radiation therapy, two weeks long, starting tomorrow. But my chances… let’s say they’re as good as non-existent.”

Bill shook his head, not to make light of what she had said, but because this was something he had never accepted in his life. “Never give up hope.”

She laughed, sounding bitter. “It’s none of your business, but this tumour is too advanced for surgery. The only thing I can hope for is to buy myself some more time. I’m sorry, but I don’t have your faith in the Gods.”

“Faith? I don’t believe in any gods, but I believe in the power of hope.”

“No, that’s not something I can believe in. Hope is an abstract concept, something to sustain you in your darkest hours, but nothing that ultimately will change a thing.”

“If you allow yourself to hope, you might find strength inside of you, you otherwise wouldn’t have. In the Cylon War, hope was sometimes all there was left.”

“You fought in the war.” It was more of a statement than a question, but Bill decided to answer nonetheless.

“Yes, I did. I was a viper pilot. It had been dire times, and we can only hope that we have heard the last of the cylons.”

A small smile played around her lips. A real one this time. “There it is again.”

He didn’t know what she was playing at. “There is what?”

“Hope. You said we can only hope that the cylons won’t attack again. But I meant to tell you that I really liked your speech on Galactica. It had real depth.”

He accepted her compliment with a nod. “Thank you.”

They shared a smile before falling silent. There was nothing more to say that wouldn’t sound trite. He wished he could comfort her, but knew that nothing he could say would mean a thing.

“Laura…” He didn’t know how to go on.

“Maybe you should go now.” She wasn’t really impolite, though there was a steely determination about her. She was shutting him out again. He closed the distance between them until less than a foot was separating them. Never breaking eye contact, he put a hand on her shoulder again. She flinched, but didn’t shy away from him like she had before.

“Don’t, Laura, don’t give up, yet.”

She shivered ever so slightly, and he felt her muscles tense under his fingers.

“I’m not giving up, but I know about my chances to win this fight.”

When his thumb stroked her soft skin, something seemed to crumble even more inside of her. She drew a shaky breath, and he could see unshed tears shimmering in her eyes.

His heart missed a beat at her emotional pain. Suddenly, all he wanted was to reach out to her, to be the strength she didn’t have right now. “I nearly died more times than I can could, but I’m still here. You might lose a battle here, a battle there, but don’t say that you can’t win the war.”

She was about to protest, he could see it in her eyes, the way her lips twitched. He did the most stupid or the best thing – what it was he still had to see – and kissed her.

***

Maybe she shouldn’t be surprised, but she was. Why did he kiss her? He had heard her. She was dying. By all means, he should be running as fast as he could. That was what Richard would do.

His kiss was gentle, his lips just touching hers. It was more the feeling of a kiss than a real one. It changed when he applied more pressure, his tongue trailing along her lips, caressing them. She didn’t want to, but she opened her mouth under his, granting him entrance. By the gods, she should push him away, throw him out, spare them both the pain, but she didn’t, his tongue mapping her mouth, igniting a fire deep inside of her belly. She wanted this, needed this. It might very well be her last time to experience this kind of pleasure. Gods, how she craved this release, craved a few seconds without the knowledge of mortality weighing down on her.

He controlled the kiss, controlled her, and for a short while, she let him. Her hands reached up, one finding purchase on his shoulder, the other fisting his short hair. Turning the tables on him, her mouth took possession of his, tasting him until they had to part for breath. She couldn’t bear the separation, didn’t want to be pulled back into reality. Fusing their mouth once more, she nibbled at his bottom lip before biting down on it. He hissed, but instead of pulling back, he sought for dominance again.

Laura didn’t know how long this give and take lasted. Seconds, minutes, hours? When they both were in dire need of breath again, Bill’s eyes locked with hers.

“Bedroom?”

They were obviously on the same page. Fearing he might change his mind, that he would leave her any second, that she would be once again surrounded by silence and nothing more than her own anxiety, she practically dragged him into her bedroom.

He didn’t pause to take in the surrounding. He, too, seemed to know that if they stopped for any reason, it would be over. Nonetheless, she could only look at him for a long moment. When the heat in his gaze softened, however, she knew she couldn’t bear it. She latched onto his mouth again, not wasting any time, tugging at his sweater. Their clothes fell to the ground in rapid succession, the need to feel skin imminent in both of them. Laura had thought one-night stands were a thing of the past, but it seemed she had been wrong. For a brief moment, she remembered the man she had spent one night with when she was still a mere superintendant. She had relished the heat of the moment, the game of seducing and being seduced, had enjoyed to shamelessly seek her own pleasure with no strings attached. Easier times, when it had been possible to live for the moment.

Her thoughts were interrupted when Bill swept her off her feet, carried her the short distance to her bed. She didn’t have time to find a comfortable position, because Bill was there in an instant, starting to kiss, nibble, bite his way down her neck, causing sharp pain, only to sooth it with his tongue afterwards. Her world shrunk until her only focus was on the two of them.

She wished for a more active role, but his superior weight had her pinned to her mattress. Any complaint died on her lips when one of his hands started to knead the sensitive flesh of her right breast, this thumb brushing over her nipple again and again. It stiffened under his fingers. But when his mouth closed over the other one, suckling gently, ever mindful of the cancer, her back rose from the mattress right into his touch.

Gods, how good this felt. She would be damned if thoughts of her illness would cloud this experience for her. Tears of desperation, of joy escaped her eyes, yet she hardly noticed. One of her hands sneaked between their bodies, seeking and finding his erection, stroking the rigid shaft. A sharp intake of breath told her that he liked her caresses. His lips and fingers lost their rhythm for a second before assaulting her willing flesh even more ferociously. Laura wished she could enjoy this for longer, drag it out, but her body was aching to be filled by him, searching for release that only he could provide her with right now.

“Please.” It was her voice begging him for more, and yet it was not, the throaty register of it strange even to Laura’s ears.

He raised his head, his eyes meeting hers. She held his gaze, conveying her need to him, knowing how vulnerable she made herself right now, hoping he wouldn’t use it against her. A barely percept nod, a small smile before he parted her thighs with his knees, positioning himself between them. Reaching down between them, he probed her readiness, finding her wet and open.

“Please,” she whispered again. He obliged, entered her slowly, but she wanted to have none of it. Raising her legs to his waist, she dug her heels into his ass, lifting her hips at the same time. He slid in completely, causing them both to groan out in unison. Pain and pleasure surged through Laura as he hit bottom, but she revelled in the feeling. Her inner muscles clenched around him, urging him on. Bill complied, setting a hard, fast rhythm.

For a brief moment, Laura’s thoughts wandered. It had been too long since she had frakked in a bed, her encounters with Richard in the last years having playing out in one of their offices, supply closets, and the one time they had made it into a hotel, she had ended up against the wall. How could she have forgotten how right it felt to be pressed into comfortable covers, being able to enwrap a lover with all of her body? This, too, might not be an act of love, but it was a proper frak, two people uniting to seek out their mutual pleasure. This was more than just a spur of the moment idea, more than the power games between Richard and her. With Richard, it had always been about who had the upper hand. Was it him bending her over a desk or her straddling him? She had always known that Richard had liked to think that he was in control, in control of the act, in control of her. Bill, she didn’t know why she was sure of that, would cede control to her in a moment if she wanted it. Why was it that although Richard might have liked her more in the past, it was Bill Adama who showed her true respect?  
Her thoughts reeled back to the here and now when Bill bit down on her shoulder. She hissed, opening her eyes to find him looking at her.  
Her fingers that rested on his shoulders dug deeper, her nails scorching sensitive skin.

“Stay with me,” he said, confirming her suspicion that he had noticed her attention slipping away. Her nails raked down his back again, and he bit his bottom lip to not yelp at her none too gentle treatment. Taking first one then the other of her hands, he brought them up to rest over her head, lacing his fingers with hers. A moment of silent communication passed between them. She saw his need to stay just in the moment, and she was sure he saw the same need in her.

His mouth crashed down on hers, parting her lips, easing his tongue into her mouth, starting to devour her. At the same time, his thrusts picked up speed until he was pounding into her as fast and hard as he could. She raised her legs even higher, hardly feeling the strain of her muscles. Her hips undulated, meeting him thrust for thrust. Soon, she was out of breath, out of her mind, coherent thought and speech no longer possible. She forgot about everything around her, living for the act, the feeling of sweat slick skin on sweat slick skin. With every thrust of his tongue, of his erection inside of her, she neared abyss, sweet oblivion in immediate reach. She hardly registered their mingled cries, the sound of their laboured breathing, of their flesh that came together in almost violent motions. Nothing mattered. Nothing.  
Pleasure uncoiled in her body, soaring higher and higher until she reached the precipice, falling into it between one thrust and the next. Her whole body trembled under the sensations, her inner muscles clenching him even harder, triggering his release.

They rode out the last spasms before he collapsed onto her, only to roll to his side the moment after.

She came slowly to her senses, connecting fully with reality again when she felt him slip out of her. She felt like crying then, euphoria making place for reality again. Her brief respite was over. Nothing had changed. There was still a tumour gnawing at her insides, treatment was only a few hours away, she was still all alone. The man lying in her bed right now changed nothing about all of this.

“Laura, look at me.” His voice gave nothing away.

She sighed, enjoying the feeling of his fingers playing with her hair for just a moment longer before opening her eyes.

“I…” he began, but she shook her head, placed a finger on his lips.

“No, please, don’t say anything. Let’s take it for what it was. It’s all I can handle right now.”

He watched her for some interminable time before nodding. She had no idea what was going through his mind, but didn’t have the strength to ask. With a sigh, he got up from the bed on still unsteady legs, looking for his clothes. Laura sat up in bed as well, grabbed the robe that lay on a chair beside the bed, putting it on. She hated what she had to do next, but knew it was necessary. “I can count on your discretion about this?”

He turned quickly, hurt and anger visible on his face.

“I’m sorry,” she tried to appease him. It had never been her intention to hurt him, but she had to be sure. Everything about him told her that he was an honourable man, yet she needed the assurance. “My job’s all I have left,” she whispered with barely contained anxiousness.  
“Yes, you can count on my discretion,” came his gruff reply. “But you don’t have to be alone with this. I…”

“No, please stop. This…” She waved her hand. “This was wonderful. I needed it, but in the end, it means nothing. Just forget you ever met me.”

“You must be kidding.” Disbelief was written all over his face. Taking up his second shoe, he slipped it on, lacing it quickly.

“I’m not.” Laura hated herself this very moment, but what could she do? She could only deal with her own confused emotions, she didn’t have the strength to bother with his. “Go back to you life, Bill. Enjoy your retirement. We got this thing between us out of our systems. Now, it’s time to move on.” He made a step into her direction. She lifted her hand, stopping him. “Please. I… I can’t.” Getting up from the bed, she took a last look at him before slipping into the bathroom which adjoined her bedroom. Closing the door, she leaned with her back against it, silent tears running down her face while she listened to his retreating steps and finally the sound of her apartment door closing.

How could she have been so stupid? To let him in and now to let him out? But she didn’t want his pity. Walking over to her mirror, she took a long look at herself, her tear-streaked face, her hair that would soon be gone. At that thought, even more tears were forthcoming. Her fingers wound up in her hair, pulling tightly, past the threshold of discomfort, but physical pain was always better than emotional one. Letting go, she opened the robe, staring at the breast that stole the life from her. There was a bite mark on the upper side of it, a proof that the last hour hadn’t been a dream. In her frenzy, she hadn’t even realised that he had been leaving an imprint. A wail escaped her lips. What had she done? What would happen next? She didn’t want to die!


	4. Chapter 4

Bill felt torn, insecure – a feeling he wasn’t used to. Resting with his back against the door, he debated with himself if he had done the right thing. She had told him to go, he had seen in her face that she wanted him gone, still he couldn’t just leave like that. Not without any kind of… resolution, although he had no idea how it possibly could look like. His right hand, which he had curled into a fist, slammed down on his right thigh, but he hardly noticed.

He had come to talk to her, to understand last night, to mend bridges if possible. What he hadn’t come for was to frak things up even more. But he had. He had been selfish, selfish in needing this relief after her dreadful confession. Although, hadn’t she needed the same relief, hadn’t she wanted it, too? No, he shouldn’t have done this. She was a dying woman, for frak’s sake. The thought made him take a deep breath, but it wasn’t enough to ease any of the tension in his body. It wasn’t enough to quench the urge to let the tears clouding his vision fall.

Why her? Why someone still young, someone with such a fiery spirit, someone who didn’t have someone to be there for her in her time of need? He couldn’t know that this was true, of course, but he felt it, sensed it. Laura Roslin was alone like he was. The thought, this sudden clarity, terrified him. He was alone. He had neither family that cared about him, just Lee, who didn’t care all that much, nor many friends. There were Saul and a few selected others, but that was it. There was no one really close to his heart right now, no one who knew all facets of William Adama.

He shook his head, reining in his wayward feelings. This wasn’t about him. This was about Laura. He had his whole retirement ahead of him, and she had… No, he refused to believe that her fate was decided yet.

He didn’t know how long he had waited when he heard the bathroom door opening, followed by the hardly to be heard sound of her footsteps. Another minute and she emerged from the bedroom, several rumbled handkerchiefs held tightly in one hand. She spotted him at once, her eyes becoming wide, betraying her surprise. It only lasted a second before her mask fell into place, giving nothing away any longer.

“I thought you had left.”  
Bill contemplated his answer, not wanting to screw up things even more. “I didn’t want to leave like this.” A shudder shook her small frame, and she bit her lip. She opened her mouth, but he spoke before she could say anything. “I know that I can’t make anything right. I know that nothing of the last two days should’ve happened. But it did. Let’s not part this way.”

She took a deep breath, walking over to her couch where she sat down, her legs curled up under her. “What do you want, Bill?”

He shrugged. “I don’t know. But I know that you don’t have to be alone in all of this.”

She gave him a smile, a smile so sad that it tore his heart. “There’s nothing you can do about it. Nothing you can do to make anything better. This is something I have to do alone, something I want to do alone. In spite of everything, you don’t know me.”

“Then let me get to know you.”

She shook her head. “It’s too late for that, and believe me you wouldn’t like me. I’m not your type anyway.”

He swallowed the heated response that wanted to escape him. It wouldn’t do to give in to urges, to frak this up even worse. Still, he didn’t like to be manipulated, and even if she didn’t mean to do it, it didn’t change anything about the fact that she was. “You don’t know my type.”

For a brief moment, amusement flickered over her face. “Maybe not, but I don’t think you like your woman stubborn and contrary. You are used to people heading your orders, one of the perks of commanding a battlestar.”

“Don’t tease me that way, please.” She might have been partially right, but that didn’t mean that he wasn’t willing for fate to educate him.  
“Look, why don’t we…”

“No, please not. I’m tired, Bill. I’m due for therapy early next morning. I’d like to rest now. Please, this discussion… it’s becoming too much for me. I wish you all the best, but I want you to go now.”

His hands balled into fists. He wanted to do something, anything, but knew he couldn’t. There was no aggressiveness in her now, she looked as tired as she claimed to be. Tired and broken. If she really wanted him to go, who was he to deny her? Still, the pull towards her was nearly irresistible. He sighed before straightening himself. “All the best to you too, Laura.” Leaving, he felt old and useless.

***

Laura’s hands were trembling, making it hard to sort her clothes into the narrow closet. The room they had given her was better than she had expected. It was light, spacious and she had it all to herself. People had done their best to accommodate the secretary of education. She should feel thankful, part of her was, but mostly, she couldn’t shake the terror. She had hardly slept last night, kept awake by fear and the dull ache of her pain. Now, everything felt surreal to her, nothing being able to break through the cocoon of tiredness, exhaustion, pain and anxiousness. Not even the doctor giving her a quizzical look during preliminary examination when spotting the bite mark on her breast could rattle her chains.

Putting some books onto her nightstand, she stored away the small bag that had held her meagre belongings before sitting down on the bed. She still had half an hour until her first treatment would begin, but she couldn’t bring herself to do something useful with the time. Instead, she contented herself with staring into space, the eerie silence of the room weighing down on her.

So this was her so called vacation? She would have laughed if it hadn’t been so sad. What had her doctor said to expect? Pain at the spot radiated, nausea, reddening of skin that soon would be oversensitive. It wasn’t the worst of it all, though, the worst was that she wouldn’t be able to leave the confines of this room when it wasn’t for therapy. She had to think of her immune system, her doctor had said. He was right, she knew he was, but this wasn’t how she wanted to spend two weeks.

No one knew how much time she had left, she didn’t want to spend any of it imprisoned in a sterile room like this without as much as an option of taking a walk. Granted, if she weren’t here, she would be working. Working from dusk till dawn; still, at every chance possible she used to walk to and from work. On the weekends, she often strolled through the city or drove out of the city to take a walk in one of Caprica’s national parks, one of it located only a few miles outside the city.

A knock at the door brought her out of her musings, a young nurse giving her a radiant smile, informing her that they were ready for her now. She shouldn’t feel bitter, but looking up into this young, carefree face made her resent it. What would she give to feel like this again. Nothing of it showed on her face, instead she smiled back. She wasn’t a politician for nothing.

***

With a sigh, she turned in bed again, so that she lay on her left side, one of her hands coming to rest on her stomach as if this could help banish the nausea in any way or form. This was only her fourth day. It was early afternoon, and she lay curled up in bed, her eyes tightly shut. What would she do if she ever made it to diloxin treatment? She had always admired her mother for the way she had coped with the pain, the nausea, the stress, but only now did Laura begin to fully comprehend what she had gone through.

There had been a point in her life when she had thought that she might like to have children, now she was happy that she didn’t have any, no one to pass the curse of cancer on. Maybe she should try to open her eyes, try to read a bit, to watch some television, but she feared the consequences. After she had lost her breakfast half an hour after she had been finished with it, she was determined to keep her lunch, even if it meant not to move much for several hours. She would need a lot of strength if she wanted to fight this, if she even wanted to hope to beat it. The truth was, she had never been a particular heavy woman, so she just didn’t have any pounds to spare, although she was under no illusions that she would lose a lot of weight during the course of her treatments.

The door to her room was opened, but she didn’t turn around or opened her eyes. Whoever it was would announce himself if he had any business with her. There were footsteps approaching her, but her visitor didn’t speak out. Laura knew that there was no treatment scheduled for this afternoon, neither were any tests. Who in Hades…? A chair was moved away from her table and placed somewhere beside her bed. This was strange. No one knew that she was here. Maybe someone had simply entered the wrong room. She would have laughed out at the thought if she hadn’t known that it would make her nausea even worse. Still, this was ridiculous. With some effort, she turned in bed. Her eyes opened, widening in shock. This couldn’t be true. She must be starting to see things. Beside her bed sat Bill Adama, a solemn expression on his face. How? Why?

“What are you doing here?” Her voice was raw, she hardly recognised it as her own. A smile, a small one, fluttered over his face.  
“I thought it was pretty obvious. I’ve come to visit.”

Pretty obvious? She just couldn’t believe it. “No one knows I’m here.”

He shrugged. “There aren’t many hospitals specialising in radiation therapy in Caprica City. Two to be exact, and this is the better one.”  
She wanted to speak, but another bout of nausea had her close her eyes for a brief moment. She didn’t want him to see her this weak, but she didn’t have the physical or emotional strength to send him away either. She had so many questions but didn’t know which to voice. When she trusted herself enough to speak again, she settled for the one question really puzzling her. “Don’t you have something better to do than paying bedside visits?”

He chuckled. “Actually, no. Thanks to Caprica’s administration and a certain secretary of education, I’m retired. I have all the time in the world.”

She knew he was teasing her, but even this was too much for her fragile nerves. “It wasn’t my decision to decommission Galactica. I told you that before. And I thought we were through with each other.” Part of her was sorry for her harshness, but this… no, she couldn’t deal with it right now. If he were offended, he didn’t let show.

“I actually need your help.”

He needed what? She searched his face for any sign that he was joking, but his expression remained as sombre as it ever had been. “Help with what?” she asked before a coughing fit shook her. When it was over, she rolled onto her back, hoping to soften the dizziness.

“Here,” Bill said, holding out a glass of water to her. Sitting up in bed, allowing one of Bill’s hands to steady her back, she took some thirsty sips before handing him the glass again, sinking back onto her bed.

“I’m looking for a new living space,” Bill continued as if they hadn’t been interrupted. “A better apartment or a small house. My current apartment is hardly more then a hiding hole.”

He had to be kidding, right. “And you need my help with what?”

“With figuring out which places might be worth a look. It’s been years since I spent more than just a few days on Caprica. I’ve scouted newspapers for days now, but I have no idea which are reasonable offers and which are not.”

“And you want my help? Couldn’t you find someone else?” Gods, she wanted to stop acting like a bitch, but each time she opened her mouth, she said things she didn’t mean to say. Why was he still here listening to that? And why was he smiling at her now?

“I could have, but I wanted your help. Never mind that I figured that you don’t have anything better to do right now.”

A giggle escaped her lips, and she reached up, hoping to cover it, although she knew it was too late. This was ridiculous, yes, but right now she was just thankful that he was here, even if his reasons were more fake than anything else. Maybe she shouldn’t wonder, shouldn’t question it. Maybe she should just be glad. Wasn’t having company better than suffering alone? One day, when she’d feel better, she would have to ask him what exactly had made him come, but this wasn’t the time, her weakened state just one of the many reasons. “Okay, I have to warn you, I’m pretty out of it right now, but I’ll give it a shot. What are you looking for?”

He gave her another smile, and this time, she smiled back.

“Thanks. Well, I’m looking for a place in a not too seedy part of town. It should be spacious enough to house me, or even two people eventually. I’d love to have a garden, too.”

This surprised her. “You like gardening?” She would have never figured that this might be something that could interest him.

He simply nodded. “I do. It relaxes me.”

“No, that wouldn’t be something for me. I start to lose patience too quickly.”

“Maybe I’ll let you help me in my garden one time.”

She shook her head, despite the dizziness. “No, thank you. But to come back to the topic at hand, what are your options?”

Bill reached down, lifting the bag, which had stood beside him, off the ground. Inside were some folded newspapers with several ads marked.

They spent the next hour discussion the pros and cons of each option until four places remained.

“Thank you, Laura. I’ll call these people.”

“You’re welcome.” She watched with a smile how he put the newspapers back into his bag. Who would have thought that talking to Bill Adama could be that easy?

In spite of their differences in taste, it had been no problem to sort out the offers which wouldn’t work for several reasons: too small, too expensive, bad neighbourhood. Although she hadn’t been able to move much, in her final position – curled up on her right side, facing him – she had nearly forgotten about her situation. What a special feeling to think about something else than her misery. Granted, it weren’t her plans, her future, still it had kept her mind off things. A yawn escaped her, she was exhausted. He understood, she could see it on his face. He got up from his seat, carrying the chair back to her table. “I really gotta go now if I want to see about appointments to check out these places. You’ve been great help.”

While part of her was thankful that she would be able to rest now, another part was sorry to see him go, dreading the stillness of these four walls, the frenzy of her thoughts which would come when she was alone again, though this was more than she had hoped for. “Thank you, Bill.”

He nodded, walked over to her, took her left hand in his, covering it completely, his being warm where hers was cold. Squeezing hers lightly, letting a calloused thumb run over the back of her hand, he smiled thus saying more than he could have had with thousand words. “I don’t like my apartment,” he finally said. “I don’t like spending time in it, and I have nothing to do the day after tomorrow. And they said that it’s supposed to rain. So a walk is out of question. Would you mind entertaining me again?” She could feel the smile tugging at the corners of her mouth, deciding to let it run its course. He was so obvious. She knew it. He knew. They both didn’t care.

“Well, we can’t have you feeling uncomfortable, can we?”

He smiled. “I could smuggle in some cake and maybe you’re up to it?”

She clutched her stomach tighter, and the smile vanished form his face. “Sorry, I still have trouble digesting lunch. Cake would be lovely, though. I like cheesecake.”

He nodded. “Then cheesecake it will be.” His hands left hers. She missed their warmth instantly. “See you Saturday, Laura.”

“You will.”

He left as quiet as he had come.

Laura didn’t move for a long time, staring at the door, lost in thoughts, wondering about the man who had just left. His complexity puzzled her. Unbearable arrogance, annoying gruffness paired with a sensibility and gentleness she hadn’t thought him capable of. Laura knew quite a few people she called friends, even more she called acquaintances, but when it was her time of need, she had confided in none of them. Instead, she had cracked in the presence of a near stranger, a stranger who didn’t shy away from her. A stranger who would be back. Something to look forward to.

With some effort, she sat up in bed, wanting some water. A mistake. Her stomach lurched, and she barely made it to her bathroom. There was hardly anything left to dispel, but her stomach heaved and heaved. When she was done, she was trembling, resting with her back against the wall, knowing it would be some time until she would have the strength to make it back to her bed. At least, it hadn’t happened when Bill had been here. Bill, who would be back on Saturday. Really something to look forward to. She closed her eyes.

***

Again, Bill chose to walk although it was several miles to his apartment. He had his hand in the pockets of his thin jacket, barely noticing the cold gust of wind. Part of him was elated, part of him was shocked. It had been good to see Laura again, had been worth the effort to try to find out where she stayed. She might be the secretary of education and good in covering her steps, but he wasn’t without any connections either. Although he had to call around quite a bit to obtain the information he needed this time. The brother of one of his late father’s best friends was a specialist when it came to cancer treatments in general, and he had given him the addresses of Caprica’s best hospitals. But without the man’s intervention, he’d never found out where to find her. Now that he had found her, though, he wasn’t quite sure what to do with her.

The only thing he was sure of was that he wanted to see her again, that he would see her again. They might have started out on the wrong foot, but now, he was determined to get to know her. He didn’t even understand himself, his motivation; however, he refused to worry about it. He had enjoyed his time with Laura today, even if her weakened state had torn at his heart. It was hard to reconcile the picture of her today with that of the woman he had held, touched, tasted a mere days ago. Although this day seemed more like a far way dream than something that had really happened. Yes, he had enjoyed their tryst, had relished the connection, the release of tension that had coiled inside of him for far too long, yet Bill knew it was the moment of holding her hand today that would stay with him. Maybe he should stop thinking so much, time would tell what was meant to be and what wasn’t.

Bill had just made an appointment to see the second place they had chosen, a small house at the outskirts of Caprica City. Pouring himself a cup of lukewarm coffee, he reached for the telephone again. The doorbell rang. He didn’t expect any visitors. With a groan, he got up from the couch. It was Lee. To say that he was surprised would have been an understatement.

“What are you doing here?”

Lee’s smile was wary. “May I come in?”

Bill stepped aside. “Certainly.” Lee passed him, stopping just barely inside. “Let’s move to the living room,” Bill said, nodding along the hallway.

Lee sat down on one of the old chairs.

“Would you like something to drink?”

“No, thank you.”

Bill moved back to the couch, sitting down on the old piece of furniture. It was Lee breaking the silence a minute later. “You didn’t do much to the place.”

“I didn’t have much time, yet. But I intend to move out as soon as possible.”

“To where?”

Bill shrugged. “I don’t know, yet. I’m going to see some places soon. We’ll see.”

Lee nodded, staring into the distance. “I was surprised to see you on mom’s wedding.”

“She invited me. She didn’t tell you?”

Lee shook his head. “No, she didn’t. We don’t talk about you often.”

“I don’t expect you to. I was surprised to see you with Kara. I didn’t know you had regular contact.”

Lee’s eyes darted back to him, a slight blush spreading on his cheeks. “We hadn’t. I… I invited her after the decommissioning. I didn’t expect her to agree. Surprised me as well.” He closed his mouth. “Anyway, she really likes you, did you know that?”

Bill smiled. “She’s a special girl. I got to know her quite well during her time on Galactica. Since Zak’s death…”

“Don’t. Don’t mention him,” Lee all but spat out.

Bill wondered if they could ever work past the rift Zak’s death had inflicted on their never especially good relationship. Looking Lee, he saw a young man who was in the process of making his way, a man who could be proud of his accomplishments, a man he was proud of. Yet he feared he would never be able to convey this to his son. He still had no idea why Lee was here, maybe there wasn’t a reason, and he wouldn’t ask. If Lee wanted to tell him, he would. “What about you? What will you do now?”

A grim smile appeared on Lee’s face. “I’m assigned to the Pegasus and will leave Caprica in a few days.”

“The Pegasus, that’s Helena Cain’s command. I’ve heard mixed things about her.”

“Me too. But I’ll see how it works out.”

Bill studied his son for a long moment. “You have nothing to worry about.” It was the closest thing to a compliment he dared to voice, knowing his son would reject everything else. Lee shifted on his seat, saying nothing. “You really want nothing to drink?” Bill asked again.

“No, thank you.” Lee got up, walking over to the tiny window before turning and walking back toward Bill. “What are you going to do now, after Galactica?”

Bill shrugged. “I’m not entirely sure, yet. First, I’ll see about a new place and then…I guess time will tell.”

Lee nodded. “There are rumours that the secretary of education will hand you a free pass for the Galactica museum.”

Lee might have thought this funny, but Bill didn’t. “It wasn’t entirely her idea.”

His son looked surprised at his harsh tone. “Well, everyone who saw you together said there were sparks flying, but not in a good way. Anyway, you disappeared from the wedding rather quickly, and Kara thought about a barbecue together. I promised her to ask you.”  
Bill shook his head. Typical Starbuck. “Sounds nice. Let me know about the details.”

Lee looked at him for a long moment as if there was something else, but nodded in the end. “I will. Gotta go now.” With a last curt nod, he turned and left. Bill remained sitting on the couch. It hadn’t been much in the means of communication between him and his son, but it was a start. It seemed retirement was full of new starts. It was up to him to use them as well as he could. With a soft sigh, he picked up the telephone again.

***

It was less the nausea than the fatigue getting to her today. She could hardly keep her eyes open for more than a few minutes on a stretch. Not acceptable if one considered she had wanted to take care of some work. Besides of books, she had taken files and documents into hospital with her. She had wanted to read them, had really wanted to work, but so far, she hadn’t as much as taken a glimpse. It was maddening. Her doctor had told her that although the nausea should go away after treatments, the fatigue would most likely stay. But how should that work? She had to be fit when she went back to work. She needed her strength to fight Richard, to get something done before diloxin treatments were supposed to start. Oh Gods, diloxin. Her hair. Laura didn’t want to think about it. Was it really so dumb to consider giving up? To die with her outer appearance in tact although the cancer was growing inside?

She considered reaching out to take the phone from the nightstand and call some friends but decided against it. No one seemed to miss her anyway. She had checked her answering machine several times; no one had left any messages for her. Her cell phone, her private one, hadn’t recorded anything either. She didn’t know if she should feel relieved or saddened by it. Usually, she would have been too busy to notice, but now… Would she, in turn, care if some of her friends would disappear for a few days? Probably not. It seemed to be the nature of life, to call a lot people friends although only a few really were. Wasn’t it laughable that the only one who had bothered to contact her was Bill Adama? Bill Adama, who had said he would be back tomorrow. Would he, too, stop coming, stop caring if he got to know her better?

Oh, this was ridiculous. To sink into self-pity wasn’t like her. Although, for some reason, she was sure that Bill would stick to his word. Maybe she should enjoy whatever life would grant her for as long as she could, even if it was the friendship of a taciturn military officer. Hadn’t he even promised to bring cake? In spite of her nausea, Laura smiled. Maybe when this part of her treatment was over, she could invite him for some homemade cake. Raspberry-cheesecake, her personal favourite. She dozed off only to have her cell phone ringing. Groaning, she got up, padding over to the table where she had dropped it. She shouldn’t have wished for someone to call, she wasn’t up for it.

It was Richard, and, for a long moment, she stared at the display, not knowing if she should even pick up, but it just continued ringing.

“Yes?” “Laura, you have to come back now.”

She couldn’t believe her ears. He had to be kidding. “I don’t think so. This is my vacation, and I’ll do everything but that.” She hoped she didn’t sound as weak as she felt. Walking over to her bed, she sat down, propped up some pillows to support her back.

“We need you to settle this thing with the teachers union once and for all. They refuse to talk to anyone else.”

She would have laughed if she had the strength for it. “Correct me if I’m wrong, but weren’t you trying to fire my ass last time we met?”  
“I still think it would be best for you to retire with grace.”

“And I told you I won’t. Anyway, you should know how to deal with the union yourself. You’re the president. Show people that they weren’t wrong voting for you.”

“That was uncalled for, Laura.”

“Excuse me? It was you who called me during my vacation because of a minor problem.”

“Minor? I would hardly call that minor. Haven’t you followed the newspapers? Where are you hiding anyway?”

“This is none of your business, and no, I haven’t. So what’s the matter? I’d advise you to hurry because I’m expected somewhere soon.” It was a lie, but her head had started to throb painfully, and her breast had begun to ache as well, the pain radiating everywhere, numbing her limbs.

“Oh, Stance and his men are telling everyone, who wants to listen, that the administration refused to meet with them, that there is no interest whatsoever in supporting the people and associations shaping the minds of our future.”

Laura snorted. “And have you met with them, yet? And aren’t they right?”

“I haven’t had the time for a meeting. I suggested meeting on the twenty-third.”

“When I’m back from my vacation? Gods, Richard. You want me to save your ass, and then you’ll try to get rid of me all over again? I won’t let this happen. I offer you the following deal, and this will be my last word on this. I’ll call Stance tomorrow, tell him you’ll meet with him on Monday. I’ll make sure that he’ll have calmed down a bit, and then you’ll meet and set things right.”

“Laura…”

“No, Richard. This is my last offer. I won’t let you take this vacation from me.”

Richard was silent for a while. “Very well then. Tell him we’ll meet on Monday at nine.” With that, he hung up.

Laura nearly threw the phone onto her nightstand before collapsing on her mattress, covering herself with her blanket against the shivering. This bastard, this gods damned bastard. She would never let him win. He could go and frak himself.

She would be damned if he came between her and her vacation. And a fine vacation it was. Laura bit her lip to not cry out at the unfairness of it all. Why couldn’t it be tomorrow, yet? Tomorrow, she wouldn’t be all that alone. Tomorrow, there’d be Bill Adama.

TBC


	5. Chapter 5

Bill knocked at the door, but there was no answer. Opening the door, he saw that Laura was on the phone, pacing up and down her room. The paleness on her face told him that she should be rather lying down, but the agitated movements of her free hand indicated she was too restless to sit still. Her voice, however, was calm, composed, almost soothing. Seeing him, she gave him a pained smile, nodding toward her chairs. Bill dropped the heavy bag he carried on one chair, sitting down on the other, shrugging out of his jacket which he put over the back of the chair. Laura was nodding at something that was said.

“I understand, but I can assure you that there will be a meeting with the president on Monday. And as I told you before, his intentions are honourable. You have nothing to lose if you go and meet with him. It can’t get any worse, we both know that.” Again, she listened to the other person, never stopping her pacing. Bill noticed she was barefoot. Wasn’t she freezing?

“No, I can’t attend this meeting. I’m sorry, but I’m away at the moment. However, I briefed the president. Why don’t you refrain from any actions until you’ve spoken to him? We all, you, I and the president, are interested in a quick solution. If there should be any open points you would like to discuss afterwards, you can reach me a week later when I’m back in the office.” Another pause. “Yes, of course. No, I thank you for your understanding. We all know that we won’t manage to get all done there is to do, but let’s hope this is a start in the right direction.”

She laughed. “You, too. Bye.” She ended the call, letting out a long breath.

Flopping down on her bed, tucking her feet under her, she looked at him. “I’m sorry.”

Bill could see that there were still dark circles under her eyes, and her hands were trembling slightly. “It’s okay. Work?”

She nodded, rolling her eyes.

“You didn’t tell him the entire truth, did you?”

She looked at him, clearly surprised. “Why do you think that?”

Bill shrugged. “I can’t really define it, but I got the impression that the president isn’t that happy about that meeting.”

Laura laughed out. “Understatement of the year. But he’ll have to find his way out of this one alone. I can’t help him with it, and I would never stop, no, I won’t stop treatment for this.” Her smile was tired, her whole appearance radiated exhaustion.

“Would you rather have me leave so that you can rest? I can come back another day.”

She shook her head vehemently. “No, please, stay. I… I’m glad to see you.” For a moment, she looked forlorn, but then she schooled her features. “Did you bring the cake?”

Bill couldn’t help the smile forming on his lips, in spite of his nagging worry if he should rather leave. “I did. You aren’t a tad bit greedy, are you?”

“You better bet I am.” Her smile vanished as fast as it had appeared. “Though I have no idea how I’ll cope with it. Maybe you should share the cake with someone you know will keep it down.”

“That’s nonsense. Sure, it would be wonderful if you could keep it down. If not…” His voice trailed off. “And it might be worth it no matter what to let the flavour of it wash over your tongue.”

There it was again, his smile. And for a brief moment, an impish smile lit up her eyes. “Then bring it on, Commander.”

He bit his tongue, refraining from the urge to tell her that he wasn’t commander anymore. He knew it. She knew it. She was teasing him. It annoyed but amused him. He simply wasn’t used to teasing anymore. Teasing was an art Saul Tigh knew nothing about, and the rest of his crew wouldn’t have dared. Besides of Starbuck, that was. Still, it was a curious sensation. He unpacked his bag, taking out the cake, plates and forks. Cutting two slices, he handed her a rather small one. The gleam in her eyes reappeared.

“I see you want me to go hungry.”

“Well, I thought you said you were on a diet, radiation diet.” He wasn’t sure he had overshot his mark, but her chuckle told him he hadn’t. “I tell you what, Roslin. If you manage this slice, you can have the rest of the cake.”

She laughed. “Sounds like a plan. A stupid one given my condition, but a plan nonetheless.” Taking her plate, she eyed it before taking a small bite, chewing it slowly, letting it melt in her mouth. She closed her eyes, a little moan of contentment escaping her. Bill watched her mesmerized, asking himself for the umpteenth time what he was doing here. What made him go look for Laura again and again? It wasn’t pity. As much empathy as he had for her, he didn’t pity her. Laura Roslin wasn’t a woman one would ever pity. It wasn’t desire either. The times he had touched her had been exhilarating, but seeing her as tired as she was now would drive any carnal urges out of his mind if he had any. It was a mystery that defied any rational explanation. Opening her eyes, she looked at him.

“It tastes wonderful. Where did you buy it?”

“Buy it? I made it myself.”

She clearly hadn’t expected this. “You bake?”

“Obviously. But I’m glad that you approve, Madame Secretary.”

“I do. You can bake me cake more often.”

“I’ll keep this in mind.” Bill took a bite himself. They ate in companionable silence. Laura finished before him, and he took the plate from her.  
“Would you mind?” she asked, indicating that she would like to lie down.

“No, no, go ahead.” While he finished his cake, she sank down, one of her hands cradling her stomach protectively. She seemed to have a hard time with the cake. It had to be expected; still it filled him with sadness. She watched him, and he did his best to keep his expression neutral. Putting his own plate down on the table, he moved his chair so that it came to rest beside her bed. “How are you really?”

She sighed, looking into the distance, unnamed emotions flickering over her face. He knew she was contemplating her answer. The curse of a politician. All possible answers were analysed and weighted before one was given. “I’m fine. Considering the circumstances, that is. But it’s always one thing to know what to expect and quite another to get the first hand experience.”

He nodded. “I can imagine. When I lost my sister, it was shocking to watch, but I’ll never quite know what she went through.”  
Laura turned onto her side, facing Bill, her eyes full of silent compassion. Bill’s hand reached for her free one as if it had a life of its own, but he craved the connection, simple as it was.

“I’m sorry. Was it cancer, too?”

He shook his head. “Brain tumour. It was diagnosed when she was still in her twenties. It was a tumour too large to operate, but her doctor thought it wouldn’t grow. It didn’t for over twenty years. Besides of some nasty headaches, she had been all right.”

“And then it grew?”

He hadn’t realised he was gripping her hand too hard until she moved hers in his. He loosened his grip. “It went fast. It was a matter of weeks. But the pain must have been nearly unbearable. She was a strong woman; though in the end, it hadn’t mattered. The pain proved to be too much.”

Laura bit her bottom lip. “It was the same with my mother.”

A simple confession, but Bill could see how much it had cost her. “Cancer?”

She let out a shaky laugh. “Breast cancer. It runs in the family.”

His thumb caressed her hand tenderly. There was nothing to be said so he waited patiently until the tension in her body dissipated slowly. Maybe he shouldn’t ask; he didn’t want to upset her, didn’t want her to think of the cancer when he was with her, but there would never be a right time. “When did you learn about the cancer?”

As he had expected the tension came back full force. She groaned, clutching her stomach tighter. “Sorry, it’s the cake. My stomach…” He watched her taking a deep breath. “You mean when I found out myself?”

Bill nodded.

Laura didn’t want to think about that day, let alone talk about it. She couldn’t deny Bill, though. He had asked out of genuine interest, not to pry. Still… She closed her eyes, allowing the memories to come back to the surface. “Honestly, I had known for weeks that something was up, but I only really found out three weeks ago.”

Laura had felt it in her body before that day, had known that there was something lurking inside of her. She had been more tired than usual, there was this dull ache inside of her breast, and she had been breaking into sweat at night regularly. It had been more than menopause, although that had been what she had told herself. In her family, the woman always had hit menopause rather late so it had to be this. Gods, her mother had claimed the same when she had fallen ill. Yes, part of Laura had known. Though there hadn’t been time for any of this, she had work to do. How could she stay ahead of all the daily problems if her body acted up?

Yes, there had been a reason why she washed her left breast quickly when she showered. The pretence had worked well for over half a year. It had been after an argument with Richard that she had known it was time to face the truth. She had told Richard that she thought their affair was a mistake. He had only laughed, taken her into his arms and kissed her until she was the pliable, passionate woman he liked again. It had been an act though, an act of a woman who didn’t know how to live any other way anymore. She had been disgusted with herself. This wasn’t she. This had to stop. That night under the shower, she had searched and found. Found and known that the tumour was malignant, known that with its size, it would be too large for surgery. Somehow, long ago, Laura had chosen suicide. Suicide of the slow, painful kind as if she didn’t deserve anything else. When had life become that dreary that ignoring the obvious had become the better option?

Bill’s voice drew her back to the present. “You’re fighting it, Laura. You can beat it.” He looked at her, jaw squared as if he could intimidate the cancer into remission. The thought made her smile.

“We’ll see. But let’s not talk about this now. Have you been successful in your hunt for apartments?”

An almost smile flickered over his face. “More or less, yes. But I have another favour to ask from you.”

She raised her eyebrow. “Bill Adama, I’m a pretty busy person. We might have to make an appointment, and what you’re willing to pay for my consultations.”

He took it in stride, looking amused, but this changed when her stomach cramped again, and she couldn’t bite back a moan.

“Frak,” she hissed under her breath as her stomach relaxed. A fine sheen of sweat covered her face, and she watched surprised how Bill got up, disappearing in her small bathroom before coming back with a small wet towel which he folded into two, placing it on her forehead.  
“Thank you.” The coolness felt good, and she closed her eyes, absorbing the sensations. Bill gave her all the time she needed, taking her hand again, lightly caressing it. It was soothing almost to the point of lulling her into sleep. The shrill noise of her cell phone ended their moment of peace. Laura opened her eyes, albeit reluctantly.

“Could you have a look for me, please?”

“Sure.” Bill took the cell phone that lay on the nightstand, studying the display. “Someone named Richard.”

Laura shook her head. “Okay, forget it. It will stop ringing soon enough.”

“Not one of your favourite people?”

She snorted. “You could say that. He’s my boss.”

“Your boss?” Laura watched how realisation dawned on Bill’s face. “Richard Adar?”

“The one and only.” She couldn’t hide the disdain in her voice, but she didn’t want to.

“Well, he’s not one of my favourite people either.” They shared a smile. “I didn’t vote for him. Never could stand him.”

“I didn’t vote for him either,” Laura confessed quietly. “Not in the last elections anyway.”

It seemed to amuse Bill. It was true; last time, she had voted for Richard’s opponent. She hadn’t meant to, though looking at the ballot she had just done it. What for, she wasn’t sure. Was she hoping that he’d lose so that he could leave his wife for her or was it rather so that it would be easier for her to leave him? She had tried to end things with him just some weeks ago, but he had reeled her back in within the week.

The telephone finally stopped ringing. “Let’s forget this, I don’t want to talk about him. You said you needed help again.”

He nodded. “I made appointments to see the places we chose. I would like you to accompany me.”

It was fascinating how a simple smile transformed his whole face. What looked so serious, intimidating before changed into a gentle, amenable expression. As much as Laura would have liked to take him up on his offer she couldn’t. “I’m sorry, Bill. I can’t. I’m in here for another week, afterwards it’s back to work, and I work rather late hours.”

Her rejection didn’t face him. “The appointments are Saturday and Sunday two weeks from now, and you don’t intend to work on the weekends, do you?”

Unbelievable, he always was a step ahead of her. Annoying, stubborn man. “I don’t.”

“So it’s a deal?” He squeezed her hand.

Laura squeezed back. “Deal.”

“Tell me, do you like to play chess?”

The question seemed to come out of nowhere, hitting her unprepared. “I haven’t played in ages.”

“Would you like to?”

“Now?”

“Obviously only when you want to and have nothing better to do.”

Laura contemplated her answer. She still felt anything but stellar, but the thought of playing chess against Adama intrigued her. He was a man of keen intelligence and would make a worthy opponent. “I take the black figures.”

He smiled indulgently which irked Laura. “The white ones start.”

She rolled her eyes at him. “I know that, thank you very much, but I always played with the black ones.”

He shrugged. “Be my guest.” He got up to retrieve his bag from the table, but she followed him. There was no way in hell that she would play chess while crouching on the bed. He didn’t question her but brought his chair over, unpacking his game of chess. It was an old, precious game. Laura saw it in the reference Bill handled it, taking out one figure after the other. They were made of polished wood, carefully crafted.  
“It’s a beautiful game.”

“It is,” he said, handing her the last black figure before bringing order into the chaos of his white ones. “My grandfather made it. He was a carpenter from Tauron. He made beautiful furniture, but whenever he had the time, he crafted beautiful, delicate things like this game of chess or small figures. He was very religious, too, and many a figure of the gods were crafted by him. You can still find many of them in Caprica’s temples.”

“You liked your grandfather, but you don’t share his religious trails.” It was a statement that clearly caught him off guard.

“Yes, you’re right. I was very close to him. I had a better relationship with him than I had with my father, but that’s only natural. It was the same with my sons and their grandfather. From mine, I got the love for modelling.” He spoke quietly even paced manner.

Laura knew, felt that he was a guarded man, that he usually wouldn’t talk as openly as that. She was humbled by his obvious trust in her. She might not understand their relationship that was neither sexual nor being what she would call a friendship, but she wanted to take from it what she could, being thankful for this gift that had come so unexpected. She smiled at him, encouraging him to go on.

He made his first move on the board before looking up at her again. “And no, I’m not a religious man. When I learned one thing in the Cylon War, it is that there are no gods.”

His utter conviction chilled her. Whatever he had experienced during the war had changed him, shaped him into the man he was now. Had he been more carefree as a young man, more open? She would never know. “I hardly remember the war,” she said, concentrating on the game and making her countermove. “It’s more a memory of feelings than of actually happenings. It was like a constant fear was weighing down on all of us. People were afraid to go outside, and all adults around us spoke in hushed tones. My sisters knew about it, but I was the youngest, and it seemed they were all intent on protecting me.”

“How old were you?”

She laughed out at that, frowning when Bill made his next move. It fast became clear that he was an adapt chess player. “It was ten year old. What about you?”

He didn’t even look up. “Twenty-one.”

“So, do you always surround yourself with younger women?”

He didn’t scowl, but it was a near thing. Teasing Bill Adama was something she could get used to.

“No, but headstrong, young women seem to find me.”

Their gazes met, and her amusement was mirrored on Bill’s face.

Laura made her move, knowing it had been a mistake when Bill’s eye lit up. Looking back at the board, she could see it, too, now. Bill didn’t hesitate, taking one of her pawns.

“You should pay better attention, Madame Secretary.”

“Not now.”

“Not now?”

She smiled at him, didn’t elaborate. She wasn't madame secretary in these moments, but why spoil the mood? “As it’s only the two of us right now, and seeing that those figures are the folk, I declare myself president.”

That Bill didn’t roll his eyes at her was all. “If you’re president, I’m fleet admiral.”

“Oh, if you want to,” she smirked. “But you know that for the time being it makes me your commander in chief.”

He snorted. “Well, do you have any orders for me, Madame President.”

She laughed. “I have to admit, it sounds good. But no, no orders for now. But what are we playing about?”

“Honour?”

She dismissed the thought with a wave of her hand. Her head started to pound again, but she refused to have her mood ruined by it. This was too nice an afternoon, she wouldn’t let her illness take it away from her, her head and her stomach might be damned. Fortunately, Bill didn’t seem to have noticed. She placed her next move, more carefully this time. If Bill didn’t pay close attention, the next figure would be hers. “I suggest the loser feeds the winner a slice of cake.”

Like planned, it distracted Bill from the game. Maybe just for the next few seconds, but it was long enough to interrupt his train of thoughts. When he made his move, he had walked right into her trap. Laura tried her best to hide her glee. All was fair in love and war.

“You’re in,” he said. “But be better prepared to feed me some cake soon.”

“Are you so sure about that?” she asked, taking on of his horses.

His muttered ‘frak’ was balm to her soul.

In the end, it was a near thing, though when Laura took his queen, the game was over in minutes.

“Checkmate,” Laura said, grinning at him.

He was a gracious loser, holding his hand out to her. “Congratulations, Madame President.”

A giggle was her immediate answer. “Now that the game is over, you might call me Laura again.”

“All right, Laura. I think I owe you some cake.” He reached for the cake, stopping midway to look at her. “Is this okay? Can your stomach handle it?”

Usually, she would have felt angry about his presumptuousness, she could take care of herself, thank you very much, but his quiet concern touched her. “I honestly don’t know, but I don’t want to think about it right now. Please?”

He conceded to her spoken and unspoken plea, cutting a slice of cake for her. She saw the smile blossoming on his face, watching how he got up to bring his chair next to hers. There was no reason for it, it wasn’t logical, but her heart started to beat faster. She hadn’t forgotten that he was a man, quite an enticing one at that, but her illness had made her forget that she was a woman. It had her convinced that others wouldn’t see an approachable woman in her any longer but a sick one. Though the way Bill looked at her now made it clear that he remembered the tension, the attraction between them. She remembered it, too. It scared he, the last thing she wanted was to feel anything for anyone. She didn’t want to wish to live, it would make losing the battle that much worse. She didn’t want for anyone to come close to her. She knew how it felt to lose someone you loved. It wasn’t something she would willingly impose on someone else.

Bill put a bit of cake onto the fork, and Laura had to wrestle her fright and flight reflex. To refuse him now would hurt him, but it would hurt him even more if she let him continue. She should resist. She was weak. He held out the bite of cake to her, making her open her mouth in

reflex. Slowly, he brought the fork to her mouth. Her lips closed around it on their own volition. Her eyes closed when her taste buds reacted to the creamy sweetness of the cake. She couldn’t suppress a moan, didn’t want to. Too many of the sensations she felt in the last time had been unpleasant ones. This, this was bliss. Opening her eyes, she looked at Bill, releasing the fork. His eyes darkened. Her breathing sped up.

Bill was captivated by the picture before him. Laura’s pale skin was slightly flushed, her eyes gleaming with pleasure. He had always known that Laura Roslin was a beautiful woman; now the sight of her went straight to his heart. His mind helpfully provided him with pictures of their hour together. She had been a sight for the gods he didn’t believe in; her chest heaving from the effort to breathe, her skin glistening with a fine sheen of sweat, her fiery hair spread all over her pillow. A part of him that he wished to quiet down stirred. He hoped she didn’t notice. But her eyes told him that he wasn’t the only one feeling the tension.

He should do it, he shouldn’t do it. He leaned forward, only stopping when not more than a hair's breadth separated his mouth from hers. He felt her breathing, shallow and rapid, on his mouth, his face. He hadn’t closed his eyes. Neither had she. He really shouldn’t do it. He closed the minute distance, shivering from the electrical current that encompassed them both with just this simple contact. His lips lingered, retreated only to search her mouth again, not being able to stand the separation. This time, his touch was firmer. Her eyes fell shut, and she parted her lips willingly for him, allowing him to probe her mouth, to seek out and find the sweetness of hers mingled with the flavour of the cake he had just fed her. His tongue stroked over hers, and the moan that could be heard was his. She broke the contact, retreating, using her hands to gently shove him away. He looked at her confused, perplexed. Had he misread her? Hadn’t she wanted this, too? Or was it her nausea reasserting itself? Her eyes told him a different story, though. They were beaming. He wanted to speak, but she shook her head no.

“My turn,” was all she said before taking the forgotten fork out of his limp hand, putting a bit of cake on it, offering it to him. Obligingly, he opened his mouth, letting her feed the cake to him. With the recent memory of tasting Laura, it seemed twice as good as it had been before. Withdrawing the fork, she watched him chewing, savouring the taste. Contrary to Laura before, he didn’t close his eyes, holding the connection. She should see his pleasure, should see the passion that manifested itself inside of him more and more with each passing minute. He had barely swallowed when she was on him, parting his lips with hers, dipping her tongue into his mouth, tasting him like he had tasted her. He let her have her way with him for a short time only to retreat when she moaned. The look on her face was this close to a pout. It was adorable. It touched his heart.

He would never tire of looking at this woman who was a vixen in one moment and almost radiated innocence the next. He felt he was connecting with her on a level that went beyond the physical. It scared him. Intimacy scared him. After Carolanne, he had guarded his heart. Every time he had let someone come close, he had messed it up. Now, with retirement, he wanted to repair some of his relationships, mainly the one with his son. But let a woman come close, though? No, he wasn’t prepared for that. If he fell for Laura, he would either hurt her or she would hurt him should the cancer turn out to be stronger than she.

Still, he couldn’t resist the temptation. He fed her another piece of cake, then she took a turn. Each time, it ended with a kiss that lasted a little longer, that turned out to be a bit more heated. By now, he was painfully aroused, but he knew she was in no way up for what his carnal thoughts suggested. It was only one bite of cake left, but instead of picking it up with the fork, Laura scooped it up with her fingers, placing it carefully on his tongue. Her fingers were about to retreat when he closed his mouth around them, nipping at the elegant slender digits. She moaned quietly. Releasing her fingers, he swallowed the cake, capturing her mouth with his again. He needed it. He needed her. The kiss lasted for minutes, their tongues dancing around each other, dancing with each other, their teeth nipping at their lips. Only when he felt his control slip, Bill let go of her. Her breathing was ragged, as was his. They looked at each other, and Bill realised he had her hands in his, stroking their backs with his thumbs. He wanted to talk to her, yet he had no idea what to say. Sensing his struggle, it was Laura who spoke first.

“This might become my favourite way to eat cake.”

He laughed out, she joined him. “And, Bill, granted that nothing comes up,” she started again. “It will be my pleasure to look at those places with you.”

“Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.”

While their mouths were speaking, their eyes held an entirely different conversation.

‘Shouldn’t we talk about what happened?’ his asked.

‘Not now, maybe never,’ hers answered.

He squeezed her hands one last time before getting up. He didn’t want to, but if he didn’t leave now, he wasn’t sure he could refrain from talking his heart, or, even worse, control his body’s reaction to her.

“Will you see me again?” he asked, not even pretending to have business with her this time.

“Yes.” Her eyes brimmed with unshed tears, making him wish even more to stay.

“See you Sunday then.” He turned to go.

“Wait, what is with your cake and your chess game?”

“Keep both. The game to practice and the cake, well, it’s better than the hospital food if I’m not mistaken.”

“No, you aren’t,” she nearly whispered.

He didn’t know where he found the strength, but giving her his warmest smile, he turned and left.

What had he started here? Where would it lead him? Would it lift him or destroy him? He didn’t know.

Laura didn’t move for a long time, staring into space. Her feelings were in turmoil, unable to settle. When she had first gotten to know Bill, he had annoyed her; later, she had desired him, the few minutes in his arms giving her the outlet she had needed at the time. Then he had come to her in friendship, trying to understand what she, too, couldn’t explain to herself. What pulled them towards each other? It had seemed they had been well on their way to friendship, but now? Her body was still throbbing with unsatisfied need, but it was more than that. Her heart had opened to Bill, she… she liked him, enjoyed his company, his calm, his composure soothing her. But she was still dying. She couldn’t allow herself to feel too much for him. Why was she looking forward to seeing him again so much then?

She reached out, toying with the white king of his chess game. Wasn’t it a bit like him? The king, the one to lead and to protect, to defend his people, the one who stood by the side of his queen? She picked up the black queen. And that was her? The lady who housed a dark death in her body, the one who was out to destroy the ones who liked her, who loved her? With a sigh, she put the figures back into their box. She shouldn’t think like that. She still had another week of radiation therapy ahead of her, and then there would be a short reprieve before she would start with the diloxin. How she would be able to keep this a secret at work, she didn’t know yet, but she would figure it out. Getting back into bed, she took up a book, for the first time in weeks feeling able to immerse herself into a story.

Some time had passed when the telephone rang. She picked it up, surprised. No one had called her here, yet. “Yes, please.”

“I just wanted to say thank you for a wonderful evening.” It was Bill. This time, she let her tears flow, knowing that no one could see her.  
“I have to thank you.”

“What are you doing?” he asked.

“Reading a book.”

“Sounds good. Which one? Tell me about it.”

They talked for hours, and when she hung up, Laura felt lighter than she had in forever.

TBC


	6. Chapter 6

Bill felt restless. As much as he was happy about the invitation to meet up with Lee and Kara for drinks, he would rather be somewhere else. The evening he had planned to be with Laura. He had talked to her on the phone, had told her about his son’s proposition, had told her that their relationship wasn’t the best, although not the exact reason why, but still he had promised her to be with her tonight. She has been understanding, he knew she was sincere about it, though it didn’t make it necessarily right in Bill’s eyes. But Lee would leave Caprica tomorrow, it was their last chance to spend some time together for the time being, and Bill had sworn not to miss anymore chances. Never mind that he was sure that this meeting had been Kara’s idea not Lee’s.

He entered the dimly lit bar near the harbour where a lot of pilots from the fleet used to hang out. Hopefully, he wouldn’t meet too many familiar faces. After years spent on battleships, being surrounded by people almost 24/7, he relished the feeling of solitude, of privacy. The last thing he felt like right now was reminiscing about the good old times.

Bill spotted Lee and Kara at once. They occupied a table somewhere near the bar. Kara seemed to be teasing Lee about something or the other, nudging him before breaking into laughter. And Lee… Lee just let her go on. Bill wondered if Kara had any idea about the deep feelings Lee harboured for her, because they were clearly written on his face. If this was actually something to be happy or to be worried about, Bill wasn’t sure. He knew that Kara had loved Zak dearly, that his death had added several layers of sadness to the misery he knew she carried within her. Something inside of Kara was broken; if it could ever heal, only time would tell. Lee and Kara could be good for each other. Kara could help his son to loosen up while Lee could help to steady her, but it meant that both would have to acknowledge what there was between them. Putting his thoughts to the back of his mind for the time being, he walked over to them. Kara was the first to spot him. Getting up from her seat, she was with him in two large strides.

“Look who’s here, Lee. The old man himself.” Hugging him, she planted a wet kiss on his cheek, taking his arm, leading him to the table. Lee’s smile was somewhere between friendly and pained. His son got up as well, offering him his hand.

“Dad.”

“Son.”

With a nod, Lee sat down again, once more having nothing to say to him. Kara decided to ignore the tension, ordering drinks for all of them. Bill smiled about her enthusiasm. Giving up wasn’t something Kara Thrace would ever allow herself to do, her latest goal seeming to be to bring Lee and him to a better understanding.

“How are you?” she asked him. “Lee told me you’re looking for a new place.”

“Yes, I do.”

“Anything in sight yet?”

Bill didn’t quite know why, but he didn’t feel like discussing his plans. “I’ll check out some places next week. But let’s not talk about my boring life. What are you up to?”

Kara rolled her eyes. “Trying to teach nuggets how to fly, but talent is rare these days.” She told them some amusing stories about her latest batch of nuggets.

Their drinks arrived, and Bill contented himself with listening to Kara, with watching Lee. If their relationship was anything different, he would tell him to go for it, that Kara was someone who had to be captured, swept off her feet, that hesitancy would get him nowhere. Even if Kara wanted Lee, even if she usually took what she needed or wanted, in this case, she wouldn’t go for him as he reminded her too much of Zak. But it was in Lee’s nature to sit back, to wait for things to happen. He had heard a lot about Lee and how he did in his job. It seemed his son was loyal, an excellent pilot, one who had what it took. Though in his private life, he was too much like Bill himself. Kara had stopped talking, giving Bill a speculating look.

“You didn’t hear a word of what I said, did you?”

She had caught him red-handed. “I’m sorry. I’ll pay better attention from now on.”

Kara’s smile widened. “So, who is she?”

Bill barely refrained from shaking his head in annoyed amusement. Kara was wrong, yet not entirely. Although his thoughts had been with Lee for the time being, they never strayed far from Laura. If he didn’t visit her, he called her. If he didn’t call her, he thought of her. And it was easy. Talking to her was easy in a way he hadn’t known before. More often than not, they didn’t agree on things, but she respected his opinion; he never had the feeling she expected him to be someone else. She didn’t see ‘the commander’ in him either but Bill, the man. He wondered what she was up to right now, how she coped with the eerie silence of her hospital room. “There’s no one, Kara.”

Her smile told him she didn’t believe him. “Of course. Just let us know when you’re ready for us to meet Lee’s future stepmom.”

“Kara.” Lee who had been silent so far wasn’t happy with Kara’s less than discreet behaviour.

“Oh, come on, Lee. Your father deserves some fun.”

Lee was about to say something, but Bill didn’t want to see them arguing. He put a hand on his son’s shoulder whose attraction snapped back to him. “Tell me more about your assignment on the Pegasus. Have you met Cain, yet?”

Hesitant at first, Lee soon started to talk freely about the new tasks waiting for him. It seemed he would be responsible for two squadrons of viper pilots. Bill wished Lee could see Kara’s face now. For once, the always active pilot was silent, listening to Lee, nodding here and then. There was tremendous respect between the two of them, there was friendship, but both couldn’t see that what they needed was just in reach. Had he ever been that blind, too? He said his goodbye about an hour later, and for the first time years, Bill didn’t feel any hostility from his son. Maybe…

***

She awoke with a start, biting back a moan. Her body was covered in fresh sweat. Her sheets had twisted around her body. Her tumour was announcing its presence loudly; reaching up without conscious thought, she yelped when her fingers made contact. In sudden anger, she squeezed even harder, closing her eyes against the onslaught of pain. Biting her bottom lip hard, she tasted blood. By now, it wasn’t just the tumour whose sometimes dull, sometimes sharp pain spread through her body in waves, there was the overall sensitivity of her breast, a consequence of the radiation treatment. Bile rose up in her, and she grabbed the container on her nightstand just in time. Since the incidence a few days ago, she knew to have one close. Laura would have cleaned up the mess herself that day but had been too weak to do so. Even knowing that the nurse was probably used to this didn’t help her feeling less embarrassed.

Several minutes later when she knew her body had quieted for the moment, she leaned back in bed, putting the container on her nightstand for the time being, at least until her legs supported her again. She looked out of the windows at Caprica City’s sky scrapers which were visible even from her remote spot in the room. She never closed the curtains at night, the thought that somewhere someone was still awake, that she wasn’t alone somehow comforted her. It was nearly two a.m. in the morning, and Laura asked herself how many women were still waiting for their husbands to come home from their late night meetings. In her past, she had had a good deal of those meetings, too. Her mouth twisted when she thought back at the meeting that had started it all. She had known Richard for years, since he had run for mayor for the first time.

There had always been an unspoken attraction between them, almost from the first moment they had met. But nothing had ever happened. Well, nearly nothing. The night polls put him before his opponent for the first time, he had gathered her in his arms, swept her off her feet, swirled her around, kissed her. They had both been shocked, but Richard had been different back then, a true idealist, caring for the people not the power. He had let go of her, she had stepped back, their gazes had locked, and he had stepped back in. It had been just a kiss, but it had been a close thing. If it hadn’t been for the phone ringing, they wouldn’t have stopped. If it hadn’t been his wife, they would have done it again soon. But so the reminder of Richard’s obligation had been enough to cool them down. There hadn’t been a repeat performance for a good ten years.

Laura’s eyes closed. Her body hurting as it was couldn’t deny its exhaustion. Not being able to shake them off, the memories came back full force, unbidden, reminding Laura of one of her biggest mistakes in her life. Although it felt like a dream to her right now, it were memories, it was the truth, no matter how much she wished it wasn’t true.

\---

“Laura, are you in there?” The voice of Richard pierced through her concentration. The next moment, he strolled into her office, smiling, waving with some papers. “It’s all in here. It’s proof that I can make it. The polls say it loud and clear. I’ll be the next president.”

His obvious delight made Laura smile in spite of her tiredness and the nasty headache that wouldn’t budge since some time this afternoon. A quick look at the watch told her that it was a new day by now. She should head home and sleep, or at least try to sleep. Still, she smiled at Richard, shaking her head in amusement. In moments like this, he wasn’t the crafty politician but just another boy in the disguise of a man.

“I always told you you’d make it.”

He beamed at her. “You know what? As soon as I’m president, I’ll appoint you to my cabinet. We really need a secretary of education who knows her job.”

“Sure,” she said absent-mindedly, rubbing her temples.

“Hey, I mean it,” Richard said, walking around her.

She jumped when his warm hands made contact with her shoulders. “What do you think you’re doing?” she asked him.

“Giving a friend in pain a massage. How anyone can get this tense, though, is a mystery to me.” His hands were firm but gentle, his long slender fingers digging into her flesh with purpose. He had never done this for her, to her. Some of her tension instantly easing away, her eyes fell shut, a moan escaping her lips. His hands stopped their movements. Her eyes opened. Turning her head to look at him, she found his eyes had darkened. “Laura?”

She shuddered, as much from the tone of his voice as from the soft caress of his fingers along her neck. She shook her head no, but he already leaned in, his lips meeting hers in a searching kiss. She raised her hands to push him away only to grab fistfuls of his shirt, pulling him nearer. This was madness. If they didn’t stop now, they would do something they couldn’t make right again. Her lips opened under his, inviting his tongue in. They didn’t leave to find a room, they didn’t do it on her desk or against the wall. Instead, they ended up on the floor in front of her desk, Richard taking her roughly, Laura meeting him thrust for thrust. Upon her climax, she couldn’t hold back her tears. She had made a mistake, crossed a line, compromised him, herself, and she knew she would do it again.

\---

They had done it again. They had started a clandestine affair that had lasted all the way to this year. Laura had let herself be used by Richard and had used him in return. He scratched her itch, it was convenient, and with time, all qualms she had when they had started their relationship vanished. Now that it was definitely over, she wondered how she could have let it go on for as long as she had. She had denied herself the satisfaction only a real relationship could bring because whatever it had been with Richard, it had never felt real. Now she would maybe never know how it felt like to really love someone and be loved in return.

There had been a few times in her life when she had thought she was in love, but never had she completely opened her heart to another. The thought of Bill entered her mind. There was no need to deny that there was something between the two of them, that there were feeling involved, but it was more than likely that she would never discover their full depth. In a few days, she would be out of here, waiting for the tests that would tell her how to continue. She would be back in her life which didn’t feel like her own anymore.

Her pain slowly receded, sweat cooling on her skin. She wanted to get up, brush her teeth, take a shower, clean the container beside her whose stench fuelled her nausea all over again, but she couldn’t find the strength to move. Not even her eyes wanted to do her the favour to open again. Stopping to fight it, she fell into an uneasy sleep, dreams of Richard, of having to fight for her job making her toss and turn in bed.

***

He waited for her outside the hospital. She had told him she didn’t need him here, told him she didn’t want him here, it couldn’t stop him, though. During her last week in hospital, he had visited her twice more. They had played some more chess, Bill had won all games. He had always brought some special treats with him, hoping they would help stirring her barely existing appetite. Though he had enjoyed his time with her and had felt she enjoyed it, too, there had been a certain hesitancy between them. They hadn’t spoken about the kiss they had shared, neither had there been a repeat performance.

Yes, they couldn’t deny that there was something between them, but they couldn’t talk about it either. Bill had never been good when it came to verbally express his feelings. It was even worse now with Laura battling cancer. How could he even think of burdening her more? Twice, he had the feeling that she wanted to talk to him, but each time, she had backed off. Yes, there was an elephant in the room each time the met, but what name to give it, Bill didn’t know yet.

Laura looked tired, he noticed the moment she left the hospital. Sure, she held her head high, showing the world a small smile, still it didn’t reach her eyes. She saw him almost instantly, the expression on her face morphing from one of surprise into one of gentle chiding. Walking over to her, he took her two bags from her.

“I thought I told you not to come.”

“You did. But why waste money on a cab?”

She chuckled, shaking her head. “You’re incorrigible.”

He nodded. “I am.” He led them to his car where he opened the passenger side door for her before putting her bags into the trunk.  
“How long did you wait here?” she asked once he had gotten into the car.

“A bit over an hour, but it doesn’t matter. Why don’t you close your eyes for a while? It may take us well over half an hour to reach your apartment.” He snorted. “Traffic. It’s one of the things you happily forget about in space.”

She smiled at that, a tired smile.

“Close your eyes, Laura,” he repeated soft. “I know the way.”

With a nod and a small sigh, she conceded, sinking back into her seat.

While Bill steered them through Caprica City’s late afternoon traffic, he listened to Laura’s breathing slowly evening out. How she did it, how she kept up with everything, he had no idea. But he was in doubt that Laura, as formidable a woman she was, could keep up with her workload. Though, she wouldn’t listen to him anyway.

He found a parking space not far from her apartment and woke her with a light touch to her shoulder. She opened her eyes slowly, giving him a sleepy smile.

“Don’t tell me we arrived already.”

“We did.”

She stretched her body as much as the small car allowed. “I can’t believe I slept through the whole ride. And that I’m still tired. But gods, I’m looking forward to my own bed. Let’s go,” she said, getting out of the car. Taking her bags again, Bill followed her. Once inside her apartment, Laura moved to start the air condition.

“Would you like a cup of tea or some coffee?” she asked, turning to Bill.

“Tea, please.” Bill took a seat while Laura rummaged in her kitchen. He was relieved that she had accepted his presence that easily. He had hoped for this reaction but wouldn’t have been surprised if she had sent him home before he could even open his mouth. To trust someone didn’t come easily for both of them so he was happy that she let him in as far as she had.

“I have your game of chess in my bag,” Laura interrupted his musings.

“Just keep it a while longer,” he said. “You better practice if you want to beat me again for a change.”

He took the cup of tea she offered him. Sitting down opposite of him, she smiled. “You’re awfully sure of yourself, aren’t you?”

He smirked. “Maybe.” He watched how she took a sip of her tea, suppressing a yawn. He shouldn’t be here. She was tired. She should rest. It was good that he had spared her the need to take a cab, but now, he should go. He could always call her later. It was one of the things he had learned to enjoy throughout the last weeks. Bill found that he cold listen to her for hours. She had a melodic voice and knew how to keep her audience interested, her years as a teacher clearly showing. Somehow it was ironic that he had started to admire what he had previously only despised. She was everything but the naïve schoolteacher he had taken her for. No, she was intelligent, warm-hearted and possessed a good deal of humour. All that was hidden well behind the steely façade of Madame Secretary, but bit for bit, Bill uncovered the woman behind it. It was like a journey into the unknown, one he hoped would never end. Nevertheless, now was not the time to try to get to know her better. He got up, placing his cup on the table in front of him. “I’ll leave you alone now. You should rest, you look tired.” He watched a myriad of emotions flicker over her face, doubt and hesitancy winning out in the end. He hadn’t seen her like this before. It made his heart ache with the wish to reach out to her. He stood rooted to the spot, waiting for her to speak.

“Yes, I am tired,” she finally confessed. “But I don’t really fell like being alone right now. I had enough of this in the hospital.”

He understood, taking his seat once again. “Why don’t you make yourself comfortable, lie down on the couch or in bed and I read to you.” Bill watched her, waiting for her to respond. He hoped his proposition wasn’t too much, that it wouldn’t make her retreat again.

Her face gave nothing away while she pondered his words, then she smiled at him. “I’d really like that,” she admitted softly. A smile broke on his face; he didn’t even try to hide it.

“Then go and change into something comfortable while I pick a book from your collection.”

She nodded, getting up and leaving the room while he strolled over to her bookcase. Skimming the titles, he noticed that she didn’t only like the classics, those he had somehow expected to find, but that she seemed to have a weakness for mysteries. The impeccable Laura Roslin liked mysteries, who would have thought? Well, he wasn’t opposed to them either. Picking one he knew well, he settled down on the couch, waiting for Laura to re-emerge. If she would follow suit with what he had in mind, he didn’t know, but he would see soon.

She had changed out of her skirt into a pair of sweatpants and a sweater. Even during her time in hospital, she had always worn a pair of trousers and a blouse. Now, back in her home, she seemed to have decided to let her guard down, to show her vulnerable side. Bill knew he would do everything in his powers to be worthy of her trust, although he feared he would mess it up, no matter how good his intentions. The smile she gave him was of a nearly shy quality. Giving her a reassuring one back, he patted on the couch beside him.

“Why don’t you join me?”

Her eyes darted from him to the rest of the couch, obviously contemplating how to make herself comfortable with him already occupying part of it. Placing the book on the table for a moment, he took her hand, pulling her down onto the couch. Coming to sit beside him, she raised her eyebrow. Contemplating her silently, he decided to just do it, she couldn’t say more than no. Holding her gaze, he patted his thigh.

“How about you take one of those cushions and use me as a resting point?”

She was silent for a long time, although he had a hard time seeing the indecision on her face. If he didn’t know her at all, if he hadn’t watched her that closely, he wouldn’t have seen it at all. She nodded, taking one of the small couch cushions, dropping it on his lap before lying down, wriggling a bit until she had found a comfortable position. She closed her eyes.

Mesmerized by the sight, he reached for her, brushing an errant strand of hair from her face, letting his fingers trace along the delicate features of her face.

She released a soft sigh. “Didn’t you say something about reading?” she mumbled, already sleepy.

Chastised, he let go of her, picking up the book, opening it. “When Gerard Forbes got up this particular morning, he had no idea that he would be dead in less than twelve hours.” He kept his voice even, calm as possible, and it didn’t take long till Laura’s breathing became shallower. He read two more pages until he was sure she was asleep.

Closing the book, he looked down at the woman resting on him, humbled by her trust. It had been years, ages, since the last time he had been allowed to hold a woman this way. It had been Carolanne, quite early in the marriage when there still had been love and trust between them. But she had never been the type for quiet moments, becoming restless way too soon. A good evening for her had meant being out with friends, chatting, laughing, to see and be seen. Bill, though, had relished the moments of solitude when he wasn’t expected anywhere, when he could rest, read a good book, or simply hold the woman he loved in his arms. Seeing her, smelling her, lightly touching her had been enough to fill him with utter contentment. For him, it were the little pleasures that mattered most.

Here, right now with Laura sleeping on him, he felt at peace. Not being able to resist the urge, he let his finger run through her hair, his touch light enough to not wake her. Her hair was beautiful, he could easily see himself playing with strands of this fiery mane for hours. He was enough of a realist, though, to know that it would be gone soon, falling prey to the diloxin. Sure, there were wigs, and with her job, she should be able to buy at one of the best shops in the colonies; it wouldn’t be the same, though. Bill understood the reasons of people wanting wigs, but he preferred to see people how they really were, with their flaws and imperfections. If she let him, Bill would be there for Laura on her painful way, and he would try to make her see that she was beautiful, no matter what. Hair or no hair, there was an inner light in Laura that made her more beautiful than simple physical features ever could.

Bill didn’t know how long he had sat like this, holding Laura, watching the afternoon turn into evening, the light slowly fading. When she moaned in her sleep, it wasn’t a moan of pleasure but one of pain. Her face, relaxed before, showed signs of strain, her brows furrowed. A fine sheen of sweat broke on her skin, she tried to turn but found she couldn’t. Her eyes flew open, meeting Bill’s. He stroked her arm, hoping to soothe her. For a moment, she looked at him confused then events caught up with her. Her mouth curled into a smile, her hand flying up to cover it when it turned into a yawn.

“Sorry,” she said, sitting up.

“No problem here.”

“How long did I sleep? Gods, it’s almost dark. I didn’t mean to fall asleep on you.”

“It’s okay. You needed the rest.”

She nodded, but then another wave of pain hit her. He watched her taking in a sharp breath, biting her lip, her eyes closing. “I’m sorry.”

He touched her shoulder; her eyes opened, searching and finding his. “Laura, please stop apologising. This isn’t your fault.”

She laughed out, bitterness tingeing her words. “It is. If I had gone to the doctor ages ago like I should have, I wouldn’t be in this situation now.”

He shook his head. “You don’t know if it would have changed a thing. Don’t waste your time with navel-gazing.”

She looked away from him, her face still glistening with the slowly cooling sweat. Angry tears were shimmering in her eyes. Bill knew she was angry, her whole body was tense, her hands balled into fists. He felt helpless, knowing that no words in the whole world could soothe her pain.

“Why?” She turned to him, looking him straight into the eye.

“Why what?”

“Why are you here, Bill? Why did you come to visit me in the hospital time and again? I’m dying, and you… you could spend your retirement… I don’t know. It doesn’t make sense. Why are you even bothering with me?”

She thought he wouldn’t answer her. It looked like he was about to get up and leave. There was a sudden tension about him, and his formerly open expression was closed now. It had been the wrong question at the wrong time, but Laura wouldn’t backpedal now, no matter what. That question was bothering her for days now, and she needed to hear the answer. So she waited. He would answer her or he would not. Silence didn’t make her feel uncomfortable. And it didn’t seem to make Bill uncomfortable either. Several minutes had passed when he started to speak.

“I don’t have a definite answer for you, Laura. I just know that I want to see you, want to be with you. And don’t say you’re dying. You’re fighting it, and I’ll be there for you if you let me. There’s… there’s something between…”

“I know,” she stopped him, suddenly unable to listen to the rest. She couldn’t understand it. How could he still want to be with her when all she offered were spells of nausea and falling asleep on him? She enjoyed his company, wanted him in her life, but in the end, it was ultimately unfair to drag him into her mess. Yes, there was friendship between them, but could she even think about daring to let it blossom? He should enjoy his retirement, find a nice woman to spend his life with, he shouldn’t… but lying on his lap, listening to him read had felt so right. She had felt safe. She…

“Laura.” The pressure of his hand on her arm intensified. She hadn’t even noticed that he had never let go of her. “Don’t think so much. I’m here on my own volition, because I want to be here. Let’s not ask us why, but enjoy what we have.”

She wanted to agree, wanted to let go of her worries for once, but how could she? “Bill, it’s only going to get worse. This was just the radiation therapy. Once I start with diloxin…”

“I know. But let’s face one thing after the other. For now, we are both here, it’s Saturday, and we’re free to do as we please.” He was sincere, and Laura trembled from the effort to keep her emotions at bay. She took a deep breath, waiting until she knew she had herself under control again before speaking.

“I won’t get rid of you that easily, will I?”

Like she had hoped, he broke into a smile, shaking his head. “No, you won’t.”

“So, what do you want to do?” she asked while another yawn she couldn’t stifle escaped her mouth.

“As I don’t think that you’ve eaten enough today, I’d say I order some takeout while you can take a shower.”

He was right, she hadn’t eaten, but truth to be told, she wasn’t hungry. Still, she had to eat. And a shower? Gods, how she longed to get rid of the unpleasant feeling of dried sweat on her skin. So she nodded her consent.

When she came back from the shower about twenty minutes later, their takeout had already arrived. Laura helped Bill to set the table before dividing the food between the two of them. It was a traditional Geminon dish, consisting of rice and boiled vegetables with some light sauce. Laura was thankful for Bill’s thoughtfulness. With something that light, chances were good that her stomach kept quiet about it. While they ate in companionable silence, Laura started to ask herself how her life might have looked had they met a year earlier when there had been no sign of her cancer. She would like to spend a day with him with her strength intact. They could have a walk through Caprica’s famous botanical garden or maybe drive out to Delphi and see a theatre play in one of the amphitheatres. But hindsight was twenty-twenty, all she could do now was to enjoy the present.

She managed half of her portion before she had to call it quits. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome. Are you going to eat the rest?”

Amused, she shook her head, watching him empty her plate, too. Again, she yawned.

When Bill was finished, he took the dishes, bringing them back to her kitchen without a word. Coming back into her living room, he just looked at her. “I guess I’ll better go and let you sleep now.”

She knew he didn’t want to go. She didn’t want him to leave either. She wanted… but could she really ask this of him? Wouldn’t he think she was crazy? But she didn’t want to be alone tonight. “Sleep with me,” she said before she could think twice. His eyes widened in surprise, and she hurried to elaborate. “I didn’t mean sex. But I would like you to sleep here tonight. I would like for you to sleep with me. I don’t want to be alone.” She waited for his reaction, not knowing what she would do if he said no.

“I’d like that.”

She was relieved. She had hoped for that answer but had not really expected it. Not knowing what else to say, she held out her hand to him, leading him into her bedroom.

He wanted to take a quick shower, and while he disappeared into her bathroom, she switched off the lights in her apartment before sitting down on her bed, waiting for him nervously.

When he emerged, he wore nothing but his boxers and a set of tanks. Although they had been intimate before, this was of quite another quality. Her mouth went dry. Bill sensed her struggle, sitting down beside her before urging her to lie down. He switched off the light quickly before holding out his arm to her. Shuffling closer, she eased into his embrace, her legs tangling with his.

“Sleep well, Laura.”

“You, too, Bill.”

Closing her eyes, she took a deep breath. No matter what, this felt right.

TBC


	7. Chapter 7

Waking up slowly, she let out a content sigh. She felt warm, rested and even her dreams had been peaceful for once. Trying to turn onto her back, she found it wasn’t possible, the arm around her waist holding her in place. Her eyes opened when memories of last night came back. She was in bed with Bill, had asked him to stay.

She waited for embarrassment to set in, to feel uncomfortable with this kind of intimacy. Instead, she just felt good. It had been years since she had woken up in the arms of a man. The last time with Richard in some holiday resort during a conference. They hadn’t planned to fall asleep together, and the only thing that had stopped Richard from throwing a fit was that they had adjoining suites, giving him the chance to slip back into his room unseen. No, it hadn’t been a good way to wake up, it hadn’t felt right. This did. She hardly knew Bill a month, yet she felt safe in his arms. He was still fast asleep, his light snores audible proof of it. She wished she could stay with him like that forever, but nature demanded that she got up. She remembered waking up once this night, watching Bill leave the bed, thinking he wanted to leave.

He had just smiled sleepily, telling her that men his age didn’t sleep through the night anymore. He had told her he’d hurry. He had. Two minutes later, he crept back into bed, and they had curled up together once again. If this was a dream, Laura didn’t want to wake up again. Disentangling herself from him as slowly as she could, she slipped out of bed. His arm reached out, searching for her, but when it couldn’t find her, it came to rest on her pillow. He didn’t wake up.

Laura tiptoed into her bathroom, contemplating if she should take a quick shower now she was awake. Bill seemed to be pretty out of it, she surely wouldn’t wake him. Decision made, she went about her business, emerging out of her bathroom only ten minutes later.

Coming to halt in front of her bed, she contemplated her options. Getting fresh clothes out of her closet was out of question if she didn’t want to wake Bill. She could walk over to her kitchen, prepare some coffee and read a bit, but the thought wasn’t all that appealing to her. What she really felt like doing was creeping back into bed, back into the arms of the man still occupying it. A dangerous urge. With asking him to stay the night, she had let it go farther than she should have. Laura considered herself a strong woman, but when it came to Bill, she was weak.

Her head had told her to send him away, her heart needed him to stay. She bit her lip when her cancer decided to remind her of its presence once again. It made her angry. Wasn’t it possible to spend even a single day in peace any longer? Would each of her days be marked with pain, gradually becoming worse as time moved on? Well, if she couldn’t change something about her cancer at the moment, she could at least enjoy this last day of her vacation. It was more than likely anyway that she would get caught up in her job again as soon as she set one foot into her office. If she hadn’t done such a good job with covering her tracks, she would have spent the last two weeks buried under stacks of paper. She nodded to herself.

Tomorrow was tomorrow. This was today. She wouldn’t let anything take this day from her. Shrugging out of her robe, she climbed back into bed just in her nightie again. Bill grunted, reaching out for her in his sleep. Touching her arm, he tried scooting closer. She met him halfway, turning so that she had her back to him. His arm came to rest on her hip, holding her against him almost possessively. Laura found she didn’t mind. He was still asleep, although part of him was definitely awake, evidence of it pressing into the small of her back. She bit back a moan at the onslaught of thoughts trailing through her mind. Part of her wanted nothing better than to pivot around and kiss him awake, letting her hands run over his steely, soft length. She wanted to feel him, his hands on her body, his hard flesh inside of her.

She wanted to connect with him, physically and emotionally. She craved what she knew he would offer if she only asked for it. But the bigger part of her knew what a dangerous notion this was. Closing her eyes, she willed all carnal thoughts into the back of her mind. She should just enjoy this for what it was and be thankful that she even was allowed to enjoy this much.  
She was nearly asleep again when she realised that his breathing changed, becoming shallower. She held completely still, waiting if he would sink into slumber again or was about to wake up. A yawn and a whispered, sleepy ‘good morning’ told her that he had indeed woken up.

“Good morning to you, too.”

Trying to pull her even closer to him, he nuzzled her neck. Laura’s eyes closed on their own volition, a soft sigh escaping her. It seemed to serve to wake up Bill fully. Obviously realising what he was doing and that his erection was pressed into her back, he rolled away from her. She missed the contact instantly but didn’t press the matter. It was better anyway if at least one of them kept a clear head.

“How did you sleep?” she asked when he remained silent. That they shouldn’t cross that particular bridge again didn’t mean that she didn’t want him to feel comfortable with her.

“Better than in forever,” he admitted. His voice gave nothing away so she turned to her side, watching him. He lay on his back, looking at the ceiling.

“Same goes for me.” His mouth curled into a smile, but he didn’t look at her. “Bill, look at me.”

After a few seconds, he complied, the expression on his face unreadable.

“I’m very glad that you are here. Thank you for staying with me last night.”

He nodded his understanding. She sounded sincere, waking the wish in him to feel her in his arms again.

Bill wasn’t embarrassed by his physical reaction to her, he knew he wanted her, desired her. The last thing he wanted, though, was to drive her away. While he felt in his heart that he was exactly where he wanted to be, he knew that Laura shied away from any kind of intimacy because of her illness. She didn’t want him to be hurt, but it was too late for that. If she died, a notion that he refused to entertain, he would hurt. Something inside of him would shatter for good, no matter if she let him close or not. He was falling in love with her. He couldn’t deny it any longer, didn’t want to deny it any longer. The only question was how to break the news to Laura. Confronting her with the physical evidence of his desire might not be the right way. Although looking at her for the first time this morning, she looked relaxed, beautiful. Her hair was slightly messed, her eyes shining brightly. Her smile was warm.

“You’re awake for longer?”

“Not quite that long.”

Not being able to resist the temptation, he turned to his side as well, holding out his arm. She came to him willingly, fitting into his arms as if she belonged there. His heart constricted, and he bit his lips to not speak his mind. Mindful to keep a certain part of his anatomy away from her, he said the next best thing coming to his mind.

“You smell good.” Wishing his stupid words back into his mouth, he listened to the laughter which bubbled out of her.

“Thanks,” she said when she had calmed down. “I took a brief shower when I couldn’t sleep any longer.”

“But you still came back to bed.”

An impish smile flitted over her face. “Well, the bed and you looked too tempting.”

Did she even know what she was doing to him? How long did she think he would be able to withstand his baser instincts? “Glad to be a welcome guest.”

“Always,” she said, trying to stretch as well as she could without leaving his embrace. A groan slipped out of her mouth. “Frak,” she hissed.

“What is it?”

She smiled wryly, despite the discomfort that showed on her frowning face. “Stupid back muscle. It’s giving me trouble on and off since I started my ‘vacation’. Hospital beds aren’t that comfortable, never mind that I’m not as young as I used to be.”

“Well, no one is. Turn over.”

“Huh?”

“Turn over. I’ll work that kink out of your back.”

There was an endless list of things Carolanne hadn’t liked about him, but she had always loved his massages. When they were still remotely happy, she had used to say that he had missed his profession, that they could be rich if he sold his talent instead of working for the military.

“Who says the kink is in my back, Commander?” she teased but turned over obediently, her head coming to rest on her arms which she had crossed in front of her.

He raised himself, straddling her at the height of her legs. “Let’s see about your back first.”  
Before she had the chance to use this smart mouth of hers again to drive him even crazier, he dug his fingers into the muscles of her shoulders, kneading gently. A soft hum of appreciation left her mouth, and grinning, he went to work. When the muscles of her neck and shoulders were warm and relaxed, he pondered his further approach.

“Laura?”

“Hmm,” she replied, her eyes long since closed.

“If you want me to take care of all of your back, your nightgown has to go.”

This got her attention. She looked at him, wary, taking her time to come to a decision. In the end, she nodded. Grabbing the hem of her nightie that just reached under her knees, he slowly shove it upward, his breath hitching in his throat when he discovered that she wasn’t wearing panties. He didn’t falter in his motion, though, not wanting to break the moment.

When he reached her shoulders, she lifted herself, and together, they got it off her. She sank back into the mattress while he granted himself some seconds to just admire the view, her porcelain skin, the way her body curved into a slender waist, followed by the soft swell of her bottom, ending in legs that seemed to be endless. He could feel a part of him stirring again. This wouldn’t do. This wasn’t about sex but to make Laura as comfortable as possible. He started at the shoulders again, working his way downward. Her infrequent humming turned into soft moans, each of them resonation to Bill.

It was a foolish idea, but right now, he would be content if he could spend the rest of his days eliciting those soft noises from her. When he reached her waist, he couldn’t help himself any longer, spanning it with his hands, loving the sight of the contrast of his darker skin against her fair one. He had never given it any conscious thought, but now, looking down at Laura, he knew he hadn’t thought of being allowed such a view ever again; he hadn’t thought of being in love again. However, here he was, his heart beating painfully in his chest, full of emotions he couldn’t voice. A lovesick, old fool. That was what he was.

 

His thumbs had started caressing her supple skin without any conscious decision, and mesmerized, he watched her body trembling under his. The sight made him harden even further. He should stop this here and now. His hand wandered up and down her back, his touch as soft as possible instead of firm as it had been before. Soon, her body was covered with goose bumps, her breathing rapid with a moan here and there. Bill couldn’t get enough, couldn’t stop to touch her. She was soft, her skin like velvet under his fingertips.

His fingers danced over her skin, along her slender neck, stroking her collarbone, slowly down her spine until he reached her bottom, caressing the soft swells, and from there he went up again along her sides, travelling the curve of her waist up until he teased the side of her breasts. Her eyes were closed. She was biting her bottom lip, her slender fingers grabbing her pillow. He didn’t know how long he had worshipped her skin when her breathless ‘Bill’ shook him out of his reverie. He closed his eyes, wishing for the strength to be able to pull back, but his body was throbbing with need, with want. He took a deep breath.

Not able to resist looking at her for one second longer, his eyes opened. Did she even have an idea how beautiful she was, how graceful, how stunning? He murmured a quiet ‘sorry’ before leaning down, bracing himself on his elbows, connecting his mouth with her creamy flesh. She shivered at the barely there touch, and he did it again and again. He needed to kiss her, to taste her. She started to writhe under him.

“Bill, this is a bad idea,” she said, still refusing to open her eyes.

“I know. I’m sorry, I know.” But how could he stop now? “I’m sorry,” he whispered again her skin for another time, gently biting her shoulder the next moment. She gasped, arching further into him. He trembled from the effort to remain gentle, the urge to possess her overwhelming his common sense. Soothing the sting he had cause with his tongue, he wandered up the right side of her neck, suckling, biting, laving. Reluctantly raising himself, he shrugged out of the t-shirt he had worn last night. Finally, at the loss of contact of his mouth on her skin, she looked at him. There were tears in her eyes, the defeated look in her eyes tearing at his heart.

“Bill, we shouldn’t. I’m dying. This is a bad idea.”

The words rushing out of her were hardly more than a whisper. Their gazes locked, and he let her see what was in his heart, conveying with his eyes what he couldn’t find the right words for. She bit her lip, shaking her head ever so slowly.

“No, Bill. No.”

“Tell me to stop now, and I will,” he promised, knowing that if she just said a word, he would leave her alone, even if it would kill him on the inside. She drew a shaky breath, his own internal battle mirrored in her eyes.

“I can’t.” It was a confession he knew she would see as a weakness.

Stretching, he brushed her lips with his, barely realising that the soothing, humming sounds came from him. Hesitant at first, she melted into his kiss. When they parted for air, he knew he wouldn’t be able to stand it any longer, the need to join with her, to bond with her becoming imminent. He made short work of his boxers, parting her legs with one knee, coming to kneel between them; and he was on her again, kissing her back, wandering lower, taking his time in spite of the liquid heat that had his body on fire.

Kissing his way down her leg, he worked his way up the other. Laura was writhing restlessly on the sheets, but when he looked at her, her eyes still held the same fear they had before. Coming to rest between her parted legs once more, he kissed her again, harder this time, wanting her to forget it all for at least a little while. One of his hands reached down between them. Parting her soft folds with his fingers, he found her wet. Wanting to be completely sure, though, he slowly inserted a finger into her. She moaned into her mouth, and he knew she was ready to receive him. Fleeting thoughts of turning her to him, of driving her crazy with his hands and his mouth were thwarted when Laura broke their kiss.

“Bill, please.”

He wanted to ask her if she was sure, but feared she would withdraw from him again if he gave her the chance to reconsider. The look she gave him was one of need, of raw vulnerability. Without anymore conscious thought, he pulled his finger out of her, entering her as slowly as he felt capable of. She was tight, wet, hot and the angle allowed him to slide in deeper as usually possible.

Once he was fully sheathed, he paused, trembling from the effort not to take her hard and fast. Instead, he moved slowly, pulling almost completely out before gliding back in. Laura’s hips worked in counter rhythm to him, and soon he quickened his pace. The view of her under him, moving restlessly, her back covered by the slightly damp mass of her fiery hair, her fingers grabbing her pillow as hard as she could. It was nearly enough for his control to slip. He felt that if he kept the speed up, it would be over soon, too soon. If her groans of pleasure were any indication, she seemed to enjoy herself, but he wanted to make sure that she’d find her release, too.

He didn’t just want to take her, he wanted to give her all he had, body and soul. Pulling out of her completely, he sat back on his haunches, taking a deep breath. Laura’s eyes opened, looking confused. She wanted to say something, but he placed a finger on her lips, shaking his head no.

“Turn around, please.” She turned slowly, hesitant, a million of questions dancing in her eyes. She was so beautiful; for a moment, he could just stare at her. “I want you to enjoy it.”

He kissed her briefly, just a light touch of lips on lips. “I want to make love to you.” Tears were forming in her eyes. He wanted to tell her how he felt, tell her that she wasn’t alone anymore, but felt it wasn’t the time or place.

It was all in his eyes. It scared her. She hadn’t meant to let it come that far, no matter how much she had longed for it. But she had been weak, had surrendered to her needs. But what harm was in a quick frak? Only that it wasn’t a quick frak. She should have known it. Part of her had known. Though what she saw in Bill’s eyes now, it was too much, tears threatening to flow freely down her face.

This ran deeper for him than mere friendship, deeper than mere passion. He looked at her as if she was special, as if she was what he needed, what he had been looking for and had finally found. Yes, it scared her because she felt the same for him. She felt she could drown in Bill Adama if she didn’t keep her guard up. How could she think of keeping him at bay, though, when he did such deliciously wicked things to her body, all the while winding his way into her heart with just the way he looked at her?

Her thoughts dissolved into nothingness the moment Bill’s mouth closed around one of her nipples, suckling at it, causing it to harden further. Without conscious thought, she arched into his touch, and he responded by biting down on the taut bud. He repeated the motions on her other breast, and the need in Laura built. She had felt she could drown in the sensations before when he had taken her from behind, but now, it was as if her body was on fire. His mouth trailed along her body, kissing, tonguing her navel, dipping even lower between her folds, lifting her legs so that they came to rest on his shoulders. Parting her labia with his thumbs, he found her clitoris, licking the tender nub with soft strokes of his tongue. Her toes curled as he slowly pushed her towards the brink, and she didn’t even realise that she had her hands buried in his hair, lest he could escape.

He was tender yet insistent, each touch of his tongue and mouth driving her nearer to the edge. Her hips started to undulate, seeking more friction, firmer contact, something, anything. In the end, all it needed was a single digit pushed into her heated body, and a wave of such intense lust crested over her that she wasn’t sure she wouldn’t pass out.

Bill prolonged her orgasm as best as he could, never breaking the contact with her heated flesh, just softening it. She couldn’t recall when a man had shown such tenderness to her for the last time. When she came down from her high, she wasn’t sure she would ever be able to move again. Only when Bill placed light kisses on the insides of her thighs did she open her eyes. He was smiling at her, and she knew she was smiling back. How had he done it? Stopping in the middle of the act just to make sure of her pleasure? Never before had any lover done something like that for her.

“Come here,” she said.

He complied swiftly, crawling up her body, though he never stopped placing kisses on her skin along his way. When he found her mouth, their kiss was deep, passionate yet loving. Her hand reached down to stroke him, intent to reciprocate, but he broke the kiss, shying away from her touch.

“Not that I don’t want you to touch me, but I wouldn’t last if you came near there now.”

Laura nodded, contending herself with kissing him again, to let her hands stroke his back, to play with his short hair. It had grown a bit since she had first seen him on Galactica, and she hoped he wouldn’t crop it that short again. She loved how it felt under her hands, soft and full. He locked his eyes with hers.

“I want you.”

Unable to find any suitable answer, she nodded, spreading her legs even wider, raising them up to his waist. He entered her with a groan, his eyes closing. Laura kept hers open, wanting to watch him. He was still in control, forcing himself to go slow, yet there was a tautness in his muscles that told her better than any words ever could that his body screamed to let to, to bury himself inside of her over and over. Still, they rocked together in a languid rhythm, Laura’s desire building slowly once again.

“Kiss me.” Was this her own voice, so hoarse and breathless?

His eyes opened, a smile forming on his face before he leaned into her once again. This kiss was urgent, a stark contrast to the gentle pace of their lovemaking. Breaking it, she searched for his neck, tasting the little droplets of sweat that had built there. The contact not enough to satisfy her need for him, she sucked the sensitive flesh, sure she would leave a mark. And why shouldn’t she? In this moment, she knew clearly that they were bound to be together. They wouldn’t be able to keep their distance even if they tried. This thing between them, it was natural, meant to be. They might drown in it, but they wouldn’t be able to stay apart.

He hissed when she didn’t cease the pressure on his throat but didn’t try to stop her. Instead, he pushed even deeper into her, her heels digging into his ass when he just found the right spot.

Letting go of him, she lay back on her pillow, her back arching into him. His lips found her breast, the left one where now not only hers but also his destiny was lurking. He bit down on her nipple, sharp pain running through her body, only to soothe the hurt with his tongue. Again and again, the intense contrast of pleasure and pain made her buck against him. He was frakking her harder now, lost in the sensations. His mouth left her breast; it was his turn to find her bared throat, finding a spot and latching onto it.

“I won’t let you die. I need you. I love you.” His murmured words had her breath hitch in her throat. Knowing them to be true and hearing them were two different things. She was about to protest, wanted to tell him that he couldn’t love her. Not her. But he raised himself, thrusting hard into her, finding the spot inside her again, the one only few of her former lovers had touched. So her protest ended in a moan that turned into a harsh cry the moment one of his hands reached down to rub her swollen nub. The slight caress sent her flying, wave after wave of her orgasm washing over her. Her hands searched for leverage but couldn’t find any on his sweaty back, so she grabbed fistfuls of sheet instead. She was a long time coming down. With a last shuddering breath, she forced her eyes open, watching Bill who was frakking her in a frantic pace now. His body glistening, his eyes halfway closed, biting his bottom lip although he couldn’t help the hoarse cries escaping him. It was a mesmerizing sight. She tried to meet his thrusts as well as she could, urging him on.

“Let it go, Bill. Let it go. Come for me.”

When he came, throbbing inside of her, it was with her name on his lips. Another first time. She had read of lovers calling out the name of their partner in bed but had never experienced it. The reverence with which her name rolled over his lips had her laugh out in joy. How as it possible that things that seemed so mundane most of the time, things like making love, felt special, new with Bill?

His strength left him, but he didn’t collapse onto her. He rolled to his side, taking her with him. Still joined, he kissed her, butterfly kisses all over her face. One of his hands came to rest on her waist, the other brushed strands of hair out of her face. They were both breathing heavily.

How long they lay like this Laura didn’t know. With a last lingering kiss onto her mouth, Bill pulled out of her. Not being able to stand it any longer, Laura reached up, her fingers running over the planes of his face.

“We shouldn’t have done this.”

He shook his head. “Yes, we should have.”

“I’m dying. This doesn’t change a thing.”

Pain flickered over his face. “This changes everything.”

“It doesn’t. Why won’t you believe me?”

Although they were alone, they spoke in hushed tones.

“Denial will get us nowhere, Laura. We will do this again, the question is not if but when.”

He was right. She knew it. It didn’t make it any less painful, if not only for her but for him. “I wish I could let you go. I don’t want to hurt you,” she confessed. The hand on her back drew soothing circles on her skin. Gods, how she whished she were healthy and could just enjoy this.

“There are no guarantees in life. For all we know I could be dead tomorrow.”

“Don’t talk this way.” The thought of losing him hurt her more than she would have thought possible.

“It’s true. No one knows what tomorrow will bring. We can only live one day after the other, enjoying the present as much as possible.”

“I know,” she said, her nimble fingers still exploring each inch of skin within reach. He watched her bemused. Had his eyes always been this blue? Such a deep blue, but it fit the man who hid such a profound depth, gentleness and complexity behind a stony exterior. “I thought you were a pompous ass when we met on Galactica.”

He chuckled, the rich sound filling the room. “Well, I thought you to be snobbish and not being able to tell one end of a battlestar from the other.”

“I am not able to tell one end of a battlestar from the other.”

“I know.” He grinned. “But you’d find someone to show you.”

“I most certainly would.”

He kissed the tip of her nose. “Some time in the future, I’ll take you back to Galactica and show you what you don’t get to see as a lowly tourist.”

Some time in the future? Did she even have one? A lump formed in her throat, and the tumour which had been quiet for hours started to throb. She bit her lip, hoping Bill wouldn’t notice. Of course, he did.

“Shhh, it’ll be over soon.” He stroked her back until the pain receded, never once breaking eye contact.

She drew a shaking breath. “Bill, it will go downhill from here in a rapid pace. The diloxin will take my strength, my hair…” She couldn’t go on.

“You don’t need hair to be beautiful.”

She couldn’t stop a few tears from falling. “Liar.”

“No, that’s not a lie. Never doubt that you’re beautiful. And if you need diloxin to survive this, so be it.”

“It might not work. I might be dead in six month from now.” She swallowed. It was hard to speak out the truth, but she owed it to him. “The chances that I’ll survive this are meagre to say the least. Thirty percent at the outmost.”

He didn’t flinch, didn’t cease stroking her, but she had shocked him, even if it was only visible in how his jaw tightened imperceptibly.

“You won’t die, Laura.”

She thought about arguing with him, but in the end, it wouldn’t matter. The last thing she wanted now was for him to bolt, even if she tried her best to discourage him. “There are other difficulties as well.”

“Such as?”

“My job. It’s time-consuming. There’s a reason why I haven’t been in a relationship for a long time. I work long hours, and when I’m home, I tend to fall into bed.” It was true, at least partially. Even if she had wanted to start a steady relationship with anyone, there hadn’t been enough time. For the last three years, all she had known was work and Richard. It wasn’t the right time to talk about Richard now, maybe there never would be. It was a topic she would happily let rest for the rest of eternity.

“Do you want me out of your life? Just answer this one question, please.”

She should lie. It would be better for both of them in the long run. “No, I don’t want you out of my life.”

He planted a soft kiss onto her mouth. “Then that’s all I need to know. We’ll figure out the rest. Together.”

She wanted to believe him. She wanted so much to believe him. Maybe for just a moment, she could let it all go. Maybe she should take what he offered. “We’ll be at each other’s throats constantly. Or nearly constantly.”

He chuckled. “I count on that.”

“Will you stay for the day?” she asked what had been on her mind for minutes.

“I’d love to.”

Laura bit her lip, preventing a chuckle from escaping her. It was surreal. It was the worst time of her life, she had accepted that it was likely to end soon, and now, there was Bill Adama. He had waltzed into her life, had seen her at her worse and still wanted to stay. Yes, she liked the thought that he stayed. A bit of the depression that she had carried with her in the last weeks lifted. She was far from feeling all right, but right now, she almost felt like herself. She grinned at him. “I don’t want to keep you from anything.”

“You don’t.”

“What about your family, friends? Won’t they miss you?”

“Lee’s leaving Caprica today. He won’t be back for a few weeks.”

“Do you miss him?”

He shrugged. “I guess I do, but it’s complicated.” He hadn’t told her the whole story of what it was between him and his son yet, but that there was more to it, Laura was sure. However, she didn’t want his mood to darken.

“How about breakfast?”

He seemed to ponder the question, but then he shook his head, a feral gleam in his eyes. “I’m not hungry. At least not for food.” He kissed her, his tongue sliding into her mouth. She sank into the kiss, moaning as her nerve endings awoke anew. When they broke the kiss, she tried to scoot away from Bill, but his hold on her tightened.

“As nice as the idea is, I don’t think we’re up to it so soon again.”

“True. I might need a while, but that doesn’t mean that I can’t enjoy pleasuring you in the meantime, does it?”

His raspy voice made her tremble. “Bill…” It was the last thing she said for quite some time as the hand stealing between her legs, caressing her softly, drove all further though out of her mind.

 

TBC


	8. Chapter 8

With her back to the door, she didn’t realise that she had a visitor; her concentration centred on her telephone conversation.

“No, Bill. I’m sorry. I would love to meet you for lunch, but another meeting came up. No, no. nothing important, just Samuel. Oh, you met him. My company at your ex-wife’s wedding.”

“May I say something, too?” Bill asked amused.

“Maybe later. I just thought we might safe some time if I’d answer all of your questions before they even entered your mind.”

“How considerate of you. Anyway, that you’re still talking to Samuel surprises me. Especially after the way he treated you at the wedding.”

“You know, I would’ve been more surprised if he had stayed with me the whole evening. Never mind that we never would have talked if he had. And we know what we would’ve missed then.”

“I agree…” She didn’t hear the rest of the sentence as a quiet cough behind her alerted her to her company. She turned her chair, only to find herself face to face with Richard.

“Sorry, Bill, I’m not alone any longer. I’ll call you tonight.”

“Are you all right?”

“Yes, I’m fine. Talk to you later. Sorry.” She hung up, focussing her attention on the president. “Mr. President, what can I do for you?”

He took the seat opposite of hers. “Are you always having private phone conversations during working hours?”

“No, of course not.”

He looked like he was out for trouble, but she didn’t want to do him the favour of giving him the reaction he was after.

“Who’s Bill?”

“No one you know.”

“But you know him better? Did you meet him during your vacation?”

If Laura hadn’t known better, she would have thought he was jealous. “Why didn’t my secretary call me to say you wanted to see me?”

“Because she didn’t know and because I sent her into an early break.”

“I see. Is there anything I can help you with? Is this about the teachers’ strike? What did you and Stants agree on?”

He frowned. “Don’t tell me you don’t know. Did you spend your whole vacation in bed?” He practically snarled at her. Laura kept on smiling. There was nothing to gain by taking his bait.

“Well, in any case, I have no idea what became of the strike. Frankly, I had other things on my mind. So what happened?”

He looks at her strangely but answered her question. “Strike’s over. We increased next year’s education budget by ten percent under the condition that there’ll be no more strikes or any other acts of violence.”

She was pleased with the result. It was more than she had hoped for. Still… “A strike is not an act of violence, Richard.”

He snorted. “It isn’t? This was blackmail. Pure and simple.”

“No, you can’t reduce it to that. If there hadn’t been that many cutbacks on the budget in prior years, there would’ve been no need for any strike. We expect from our teachers to give all they have to keep forming tomorrow’s future, but at the same time, their pay is miserable, they have to work longer and even longer hours, and school buildings are decrepit. That can’t match up.”

“Well, wouldn’t that have been your job as secretary of education to make sure that there was enough money and that conditions were better in general?”

She laughed out at his audacity. “You must be kidding. Or have you forgotten that the original plan had been to cut back on my budget by fifty percent? I had to fight tooth and nails for what I got in the end.”

“Don’t blame it all on the others, Laura.” He got up, walking around her desk to take a place at the window. If she wanted to look at him while talking now, she would have to turn her chair and crane her neck. A cheap power play, one of those Richard loved nowadays. What a pity that Laura didn’t intend to play with him, no matter how much her stomach was churning with anger. She began to scribble more notes onto the report she had been reading before Bill had called.

“Anyway,” Richard started when he realised that nothing was forthcoming from her. “I managed to solve the problem, and now, we can get back to business.”

“That’s wonderful, Richard.”

“Are you mocking me?”

“What gives you that idea? But was there anything else?”

He walked back to the seat he had occupied earlier, this time coming to stand behind it. “This isn’t working any longer.”

She still denied him her eyes. “What are you talking about?”

“This. I have to be able to trust my secretaries, all of them. As soon as personal grudges come into play, I can’t trust them to give their best any longer. I can understand that you’re hurt that things with us had to change, but you have to admit that it wasn’t working anymore. So I’ll ask you again to resign.”

Laura took a deep breath, her resolve to not let this get to her crumbling. Why? Why did it have to come that far? What had happened to the man that had wanted to change life for the better? When had he become so petty? This wasn’t the man she had admired once.

“As I told you before, I have no intention to resign. What about you do your job and I do mine?”

“And lately, your job includes having lengthy phone talks with your latest frak buddy?”

“Richard, go. Just leave. This is ridiculous, even for you.” She turned her head toward him. He looked at her with such intense anger that she nearly recoiled.

“Did you know that a good friend of mine told me that you were arrested once for smoking weed and running around half naked in public?”

She couldn’t believe it. How in the name of the twelve colonies had he learned about that? “No, I didn’t know, and yes, I was arrested. On Leonis while I was still in college.”

He smirked. “You don’t want this to become public knowledge, do you?”

She got slowly got up, her hands resting flat on the surface of her desk. She was about to speak when a sharp pain sliced through her body. Biting her lip, she tried to mask her body’s betrayal. At least, Richard didn’t know about her cancer. The pain lessened. “If you go public with this, it will be the end of your career. I don’t wish to sink this low, but I could have your head for at least half a dozen things, our affair not included. You really want us to drown together?”

Before he could answer, the door of her office opened and Richard’s secretary entered, out of breath.

“Mr. President, the representatives from Geminom arrived early and are waiting for you upstairs. I’m on my way to fetch the files from the registration.” She left the office.

Richard took on long look at Laura, and the expression of such intense hate made her wonder what she could have ever loved or liked about him. He had changed. But what about her? Had she changed that much as well? Had she lost her ideals? Could she even be neutral about herself?

“Believe me, Laura, the last word hasn’t been spoken, yet.”

She shook her head at him. This wasn’t worth an answer.

Once he had left, she sank down onto her chair, exhausted and in pain. Was this even worth it? Shouldn’t she rather kiss her career goodbye and make sure she tried her best to fight the cancer? She didn’t know, she really didn’t know.

 

Bill would meet with Saul in an hour. He had been surprised about his friend’s call, although most probably he shouldn’t have been. If he hadn’t been busy falling head over heels in love with Laura, he might have thought about calling Saul himself. He was looking forward to the meeting. Saul was by far his oldest friend, and they had lived through some rough times together. They had seen the best of each other and definitely the worst. Truth to be told, Bill was worried about Saul. His drinking habits had been a problem at the best of times, and Bill hoped that it wouldn’t be what eventually destroyed him.

He grabbed his jacket, about to head out, when someone knocked on his door. Irritated, he let his jacket fall onto his couch. That was indeed fantastic timing. It was Kara, looking uncharacteristically serious.

“Kara. What a surprise. Please, come in.”

She gave him a small, nervous smile before passing him. He closed the door behind her.

“Please have a seat. Can I offer you anything?”

“No, thank you. I don’t intend to stay long.”

She reminded him of an animal preparing for a speedy flight. Something was definitely wrong, even if he had no idea what might have her that much at unease. Bill chose to remain standing as well.

“Starbuck, what is it?” He watched her taking a deep breath, letting her eyes roam his small apartment once again before they fastened on him.

“I have to tell you something. I… I think it’s about time I tell you the truth. I owe it to you.”

Kara’s words left him with a sinking feeling in his stomach. “The truth? About what?”

Kara shifted from one foot to the other. “About Zak.”

Breathing became harder from one moment to the next. There wasn’t a day when he didn’t think about Zak, and only recently, the memories of his son had been less painful to Bill. So what business had Kara to claw at a still open wound? What truth did she think she knew about his son?

“What are you talking about?” It came out sharper than expected, and Kara blinked twice. Only now did Bill realise how pale she was. “Kara, what is it? Talk to me,” he tried it again, more gentle this time. He watched Kara swallow, resisting the crazy urge to grab his jacket and just leave.

“It’s my fault that Zak died.” Bill thought he hadn’t heard right. He wanted to speak, but she shook her head. “Please, just let me finish. Do you remember that everyone used to doubt that Zak could pass his flight test? That people thought he didn’t have the reflexes? Well, he passed the test, but he shouldn’t have.”

Bill watched with horror how tears formed in Kara’s eyes. His mind registered her words, but they just didn’t want to make sense.

“I should have never let him pass the test. If he had been someone else, he would have failed by just a margin. He wasn’t that bad, but I couldn’t do it to him. I loved him. It meant so much to him. I’m sorry. I’m sorry…”

This wasn’t happening. This couldn’t be the truth. The Kara he thought he knew wouldn’t have done that, would she? But in his heart, he knew she spoke the truth, and something inside him broke. He had already lost a son, and now, he felt like he lost a daughter as well. Kara had taken his son away from him.

“I want you to leave now.”

Her face twitched, pain visible in her eyes. “I’m sorry,” she whispered again.

She might be, but it wouldn’t make his son alive again. “Go, please.” To remain civil was all he could offer her right now.

Her mouth opened and closed. She nodded, deflating even more in front of his eyes before turning around.

Bill didn’t feel able to move for a long time.

 

This was not how he had envisioned his day. He had planned a drink or two with Saul, followed by dinner with Laura. He had managed to meet with Saul all right, but his friend, sensing his mood, hadn’t asked questions but handed him drink after drink. He should have headed home afterwards, called Laura that he wouldn’t make it, and slept through his drunken stupor. Instead, barely able to stand, he had taken a cab to Laura. Looking at her surprised, mildly disgusted face now, he started to think that he might have made a mistake. To her credit, she didn’t ask a question but guided him into her living room so that he came to rest on her couch.

“Would you like a glass of water, a shower or only a blanket?”

Bill shook his head no. He didn’t know what he wanted, besides the fact that he didn’t want the numbness he felt to end. He leaned back, his head resting against the back of couch, his eyes closing on their own accord.

Some undefined time later, Laura touched his shoulder. “Wake up, Bill.”

Forcing himself to open his eyes, he looked up at her. She held out a glass of water to him.

“Drink this.”

“No.”

“Don’t be stubborn. You have to take care. Wouldn’t do for you to dehydrate. And when you’re on it, here are two aspirin.” Her stern look amused him for no reason. She must have looked like this dealing with wayward students. Just as her students would have undoubtedly done, he complied. She had brought a blanket as well. Kneeling down in front of him, she took off his shoes, nudging him to lie down afterwards.

“Try to sleep.” She put the blanket over him, and a minute later, he was out cold.

It was the nausea that woke him up. He knew he was about to throw up. As he sat up, he realised that he wasn’t in his apartment; and it took him a moment to remember that he had crashed at Laura’s. He stumbled to his feet and made his way to the guest bathroom. He didn’t know how long he knelt on the cold tiles, retching even when his stomach hadn’t seen any food in more than twenty hours. When he was finished, he had problems getting up, his knees too weak to hold his weight. To his surprise, Laura’s arm reached around his waist, steadying him.

“Couch or brushing your teeth?”

He gave her a weak smile. “Brushing teeth sounds wonderful.”

She nodded. “Hold onto the sink. I’ll be back in a minute.”

He did as she had said, and true to her word, she reappeared very soon, handing him a toothbrush with toothpaste already applied. He took his time, getting the dead animal out of his mouth. When he was finished, he was surprised that Laura didn’t lead him back to the couch but into her bedroom. After stripping out of his trousers and tanks, he sank into bed with a groan. Laura urged him to lie on his side and spooned him from behind.

“Do you wanna talk about what happened?”

No, he didn’t. Never mind that he was still helplessly drunk, although not so drunk that he didn’t feel bad about his behaviour. “I’m sorry, Laura. We agreed on dinner, and I messed everything up.”

She caressed his stomach gently. “It’s okay. Bad days happened to the best of us.”

“Still, it was no reason to show up here like this,” he mumbled.

“So, does this happen often when you meet with Saul?”

“No.” He had no idea why, but suddenly, he wanted to tell her, wanted the comfort she might be willing to offer. “Kara came to visit me today. You remember that I told you about her?”

“Yes, I do.”

He took a deep breath before starting to speak slowly, cocooned by the dark and Laura’s warm presence at his back. During all the time he spoke, she didn’t stop stroking him once. When he was finished, she was silent for a long time.

“So you do blame Kara for what had happened?”

He sighed. “Yes. No. But anyway, if she hadn’t let him pass his flight exam, Zak might still be alive.”

“I know what you mean. But do you think she would have done what she had if she had an idea what would happen?”

“Of course not. Still, as a flight instructor, you have responsibilities. She failed miserably.”

“That she did. Although…,” her voice trailed off.

“Although what?”

“Well, have you never made a mistake during your career? A mistake that cost a fellow officer his life?”

Instantly, Bill had to think of Bulldog, not his only mistake but one of his worst. Still, it had been a tactical decision, there had been a valid reason behind his actions. With Kara and Zak, though… “It’s not that easy.”

“No, it never is. The only question is if you’ll be able to forgive Kara in time. But that’s something that only you can decide. Just don’t forget that you already lost a son. Are you willing to lose a daughter as well?”

“I don’t know, Laura.”

She kissed his neck. “How could you? It’s still fresh.”

“Thank you.”

“For what?”

“For listening. For being there for me.”

She laughed quietly. “How could I not? And never mind that I’ll be never able to repay you the kindness you’ve shown during the last month.”

“I’ll always be there for you.”

“As will I for you. Rest now, you’ll feel really bad soon enough.”

He groaned at the thought of what was awaiting him. “Laura?” He was nearly asleep again but wanted to get rid of the question nagging him.

“Yes, Bill?”

“Are there any secrets that drag you down?”

She laughed, and Bill thought it sounded sad. “Not that you need to know, but yes, there are. Now sleep.”

“I love you,” he managed to mumble.

“I love you, too.”

He was out again even before she had finished the short sentence.

 

The next morning began as horrible as he should have known it would. His head felt like it was about to explode, and his mouth was dry. Though at least this time, he knew instantly where he was. He opened his eyes just a bit. Laura was nowhere to be seen. A quick glance at the watch told him that it was nearly nine a.m. She would be in the office by now. But what he found was another glass of water on the nightstand on his side of the bed, a few more painkillers and a note from Laura.

“Bill, sorry that I had to leave, but I have some meetings I couldn’t reschedule. I hope you don’t feel too bad, although I doubt it. Should you be hungry, there’s soup from yesterday in the fridge, you only have to heat it. If not, don’t forget to take some home with you. Call me tonight if you like. Laura.”

Bill sank back into the covers. He was an idiot. No matter how rough yesterday had been, he shouldn’t have let Laura see him like this. So that was how Laura must feel whenever the cancer had its way with her and she couldn’t quite hold it together any longer. Although the cancer wasn’t her fault, no matter what she thought, his drunken bender in contrast was completely his own doing. Maybe he should just sleep some more and not wake up until Laura was back in the evening. Bad idea. It didn’t matter that they were really close by now, in a relationship, at least from his point of view, it wouldn’t do to overly utilise his being welcome. A shower, taking some of the offered soup with him, and he would be out of here. What he would do about Kara, though, he had no idea. Whenever he thought about her, he had to keep his anger in check. Maybe she hadn’t intended to kill Zak, he knew that she would have never done anything to hurt him on purpose, but the fact remained that his son was dead and Kara had played a pivotal role in what had transpired. Tears welled up in him. He let them flow, wept silently for his son. Bill had only cried over him once, the day after he had gotten the news of his death. Since then, he had bottled up the feeling of intense loss; a sore spot that was a constant companion which he didn’t dare explore. It felt good to give into the grieving, to simply admit his pain. Zak had been such an amazing young man. Bill loved both of his sons equally, but where Lee was rather quite, his whole personality bordering on stubborn, Zak had been more light-hearted. He took life serious enough, although he had always been able to see the beauty or the comical aspects of every given situation. Where Lee was like Bill, Zak had incorporated the best traits of his mother without any of the dramatic flair which Carolanne seemed to need like the air to breathe. He must have been a balm to Kara’s wounded soul. How could he ever forgive the girl? He would always love her like a daughter, but the trust he had in her was gone. Thinking of Kara made him angry right now. Deciding that he had lingered long enough, he got up.

 

Laure had liked the apartment. It had three rooms as well as a separate kitchen and a bathroom. The view was nice, the large windows let in enough daylight. The price was reasonable. For some reason, Bill didn’t seem to share her enthusiasm, though.

“It’s close to perfect. And everything is in easy reach. Within a five minute range, there’s the tube and in the other direction plenty of shops.”

He shrugged. “I know. Still, this is not it. It’s hard to describe.”

“Then let’s take a look at the next one. I suggest we take a cab; I don’t know about parking space in the area.”

The next apartment, slightly smaller but located not far from Caprica’s largest park, didn’t fare better. Again, Bill couldn’t really tell what he didn’t like.

Today, he was trying the patience of a saint. Laura tried her best not to let him ruin her mood. She had some friends that were similarly picky, although in their cases, it weren’t living spaces but shoes. If she accepted this quirk, she could hardly complain about Bill who had a far more complicated decision to make. The last place was a house outside the city. The house had a garden and five rooms on two floors. Bill’s eyes had started to gleam with interest the moment they arrived. Five minutes into the tour, he leaned toward Laura.

“This is it.”

“Are you sure about that? We haven’t seen it all yet. It’s an important decision. I mean…”

Bill shook his head. “No, this is it.”

The house was beautiful, there was no question about that, but somehow Laura didn’t like the thought of Bill moving here. When they were on their way back, she turned to Bill. “I really like it, but it’s kinda far from the city.”

“You mean it would actually take me thirty minutes to reach your apartment?”

Laura blushed. “That’s not what I meant, but living in the city has its perks. Only the gods know where the next store might be.”

He smiled, amused. “I’m pretty confident that there’ll be one somewhere. All the other people living around here seem to survive. And you know that I have a car.”

“True, but still… don’t you think the place is a bit big for one person?”

Leaning forward, he kissed her softly. “Who says I’ll be alone? I might have some nice visitors.”

“Like?”

“No, that would be telling. But so you know, she’s really beautiful.”

She slapped his arm. “That’s not funny. But if that’s what you want, you’ll have my support.”

“That’s what I want, the kind of place I wanted to have since a long time.”

This time, she kissed Bill. “It’s a nice house. Congratulations, Bill. Will you call the realtor?”

“Yes, tomorrow.” He took her hand in his. “You will come and visit, won’t you?”

“As often as my job, my illness and my general timetable will allow.”

“Don’t forget to live once in a while. There’s more to life than a job.”

“I know, but I have this job with all the responsibilities that come with it. It won’t be easy to simply slip out of the city just like that. And…,” she sighed. “And should I start with diloxin, or, even worse, the cancer get the better of me, I won’t have the strength for constant travelling between places. But don’t let me make you feel bad about it, we’ll figure something out.”

He caressed her hand. “That we will.”

Laura had the distinctive feeling that Bill had a plan, even if he didn’t want to talk about it. The place was big, too big for one person, and he didn’t have family that might move in with him. Maybe he wanted to share with a friend, though she hoped it wouldn’t be Saul Tigh. She hadn’t seen much of him during her trip to Galactica, but that little time had been enough to understand that she and Saul would never see eye to eye. But hadn’t Bill told her that Saul was married?

They arrived at Bill’s apartment. Laura was exhausted. The first week at work had drained her. She looked forward to recline for a little while, maybe have a cup of tea or coffee. Bill let her proceed into the small room, and she looked around.

“It’s… neat, but I can see why you need a new place.”

He watched her taking in her surrounding. “I told you it’s nothing you would really like to see. But have a seat. Tea or coffee? Or something stronger?”

“As nice as that sounds, I’ll take some tea. Alcohol doesn’t mix well with my medication.”

“Medication?”

“It’s some kind of add-on to the radiation therapy. It’s supposed to stop the tumour from growing until it will be determined if I’m up for diloxin.”

Bill was shuffling around in his tiny kitchenette, his eyes never leaving her for long. It hurt her to see the worry cloud his features. That was not what he deserved. He had fought in the Cylon War, his marriage had failed, he had lost one son and was barely on speaking terms with the other. If she had one wish free, she would want for him to meet a nice, healthy woman to spend his retirement with. But as things were, she was weak. Too weak to hurt him, to give him up.

“When will you know about the diloxin?” he asked.

“Ten days from today.” A snort escaped her. “I don’t even know what I hope for.”

“I do.” At his tone of voice, she looked up at him. There wasn’t a trace of doubt in the way he eyed her with determination. “You need the therapy to heal. I understand that it’ll be horrible and worse, but you won’t be alone. You’ll make it, Laura.”

She had said similar things to her mother. In the end, it had meant nothing when she watched her withering away. Laura hoped that Bill was strong enough to survive the storm that was to come. She offered a smile, not wanting to argue the point. If he had conviction, who was she to take it away from him?

The water boiled in the kettle. A minute later, Bill handed her a steamy cup of tea.

“Some herbal tea I got from the market in Delphi.”

“The market in Delphi? Did you go there often?”

He shrugged. “As often as my time permitted it. Things are more expensive there but always of the best quality.” He sat down besides her.

“I know. Before I was appointed secretary, I had more time and used to go there regularly.” She winced from the pain. With closed eyes, she waited for the dull ache to recline before offering Bill an apologetic smile.

“I wish I could take the pain from you.” He took her into his arms so that her head came to rest on his shoulder.

“You’re here. That’s more than I could have asked for.”

“It’s less than you deserve.” He kissed her. A soft kiss onto her hair. She twisted in his arms so she could caress his lips with her own. He deepened the kiss, and soon she found herself lying on top of him on his couch. Both were unwilling to break their oral connection for more than taking in some much needed air. The feeling of his fingers on her back made her shiver. In response, she buried her hands under his tanks, running her fingers along the waistband of his trousers, gradually working her way up, over the soft planes of his stomach to his nipples which she tweaked between her thumb and forefinger. His hips bucked, and he groaned into her mouth, his hands grabbing her buttock, pressing her against his hardness.

It felt good to be in his arms, good to know that he wanted her as much as she wanted him. For a moment, she dared imagine how it would be to be free of the illness. What would a future with Bill Adama look like? They could try to really make it work, maybe even live together at some point. Laura had never been the type for domesticity, but maybe it would be time for a real home with someone to actually come home to. Such thoughts were fruitless, though. At the moment, all she could do was fight for her life, for a future. Her hands stopped toying with his nipples, moving south until she reached his pants. She unbuckled his belt, opened the pants to reach inside, stroking him through the fabric of his boxer briefs.

His lips left hers, and his eyes gleamed feral. She wondered what he was up to but was interrupted by her cell phone. She groaned. That had to be a bad joke.

“Ignore it,” Bill said.

“Sorry, can’t do that.” Sitting up with some difficulty, she reached for her bag which she had placed on the ground when she had sad down first. She didn’t recognise the number but still decided to answer it. “Roslin.”

It was a reporter. One that asked if it was true that she had had a relationship with a colleague of his at the same time that said colleague had written about her department in one of his articles. Didn’t she think that this was highly unethical? What would people think?

Laura didn’t know how she managed to stay calm, but she did. She told the reporter he should rather check his facts again and to stop bothering her.

When she put the cell phone back into her bag, she heaved a breath. That had to be Richard’s doing. His first step in his venture to try to remove her from office. Had he thought she wasn’t serious when she had told him that he would go down with her? If he thought that this stunt of his would make her quit, he didn’t know her at all.

“What’s the matter, Laura?”

For a moment, she had totally forgotten about Bill. He had righted his clothes and was looking at her with concern written all over his face.

“It’s…nothing.”

“That’s bullshit. If you don’t want to tell me, then don’t. But, please, don’t lie to me.”

“Didn’t you know that it’s the job of a politician to lie convincingly?” Even she didn’t have an idea what had made her crack this lame joke.

“You didn’t lie convincingly.”

“Maybe because I didn’t want to.”

“Laura, forget about playing games with me.”

She took another deep breath. “That was a reporter. Someone is obviously trying to drag me through the dirt.”

“Who? And with what?”

“I have no idea who.” That was a lie – again; but she didn’t want to tell Bill about Richard. “This reporter asked me if it was true that I had an affair with one of his colleagues.”

“And had you?”

She briefly highlighted her affair with Thomas to him without going into detail. He took it in stride, thankfully not uncomfortable with her mentioning a former lover.

“That doesn’t sound good,” he said when she had finished. “What do you want to do now?”

“I’ll call Thomas, tell him to keep a lid on it, then I’ll find out who spread the rumour. And believe me, whoever it was will have to pay.”

TBC


	9. Chapter 9

Laura didn’t like this place. The sterile atmosphere, the smell, everything about it reminded her of things she would rather forget. If it had been just her, she might have rescheduled, maybe she would have cancelled and forgotten about it for once and all. Now, she had Bill urging her on; Bill who had made her promise to call him as soon as she was out of the building. He had wanted to accompany her, but she had refused his offer. This was something she had to do alone. Her own disappointment was all she could bear should things look worse than the last time she had been here. Everyone had been friendly to her, the scans were done in less than twenty minutes; still, she felt sick on her stomach.

The clock at the wall made the only sound in the otherwise soundproof room. Time passed slowly. She had been waiting for nearly forty minutes now, yet Laura was in no hurry to hear the results. The door being opened behind her startled her. Doctor Bailar smiled, and she had the childish urge to wipe the smile off his face. He had her files with him, a pile too heavy for a person even remotely healthy. She wondered how much it would grow until her fate was decided.

“Madame Secretary,” he greeted her before he opened the file on top, taking his own sweet time studying it. “All right,” he said, looking up at her again.

Did she imagine it or was his smile less big than before? She felt nauseated and hoped she wouldn’t have to throw up. Even the dull ache in her breasted seemed to intensify. It were her nerves, of course it was, though the knowledge did nothing to make the anxiety go away.

“It seems radiation therapy had the intended effect. The tumour didn’t grow. It didn’t shrink by much either, but this is already more than I had hoped for.” He paused, giving her time to digest the information.

So she wasn’t quite dead yet? Maybe she should be happy now, at least a bit, but the emotions cursing through her were too many to identify them. This result only meant that more treatment was to come, didn’t it?

“So, how do you suggest we go on now?”

“I want to start with a combination of diloxin and radiation therapy.”

“A combination? What will this look like? And will I be able to work?”

He looked doubtful. “Madame Secretary, with all due respect, one day you’ll have to make a decision. The stress level of your occupation does nothing to speed up any potential healing process. You should…”

Laura held up her hand. “For the sake of the argument, let’s assume I’ll continue working. How much time will I have to plan for treatment?”

“You’re unreasonable if I may be so frank. You should be thankful that treatment so far was a success, albeit a minor one.”

“Let this be my decision. If we can go back to treatment now.” Why did people insist on telling her thing she knew for herself? Yes, her body could do with rest, but what about her mind? She needed something to occupy herself. Long work days were something she was used to, long hours with nothing to do she wasn’t; her time in hospital with too much time to think still too fresh on her mind.

“Certainly, Madame Secretary, but it’s my duty to tell you that you don’t do yourself a favour. Anyway, my suggestion is one session of diloxin and one session of radiation therapy a week. We could do both in the afternoons, maybe schedule one mid-week and one on the weekend.”

“That sounds reasonable.”

He shook his head. “You seem to underestimate diloxin treatment. Usually, it takes people a day or two to recover from the side effect.”

“Thank you very much for the information, but it wasn’t necessary. If you remember my file, my mother had breast cancer. She was diloxin, too. She died.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. But let me assure you that I know everything about diloxin there is to know.”

“Miss Roslin,” his tone became soft. “To know something can never compare to first-hand experience.”

“So, do you have first-hand experience when it comes to diloxin?”

“No, I haven’t, but I have seen dozens of people undergoing treatment. But it’s ultimately your decision.”

“Thank you. Let’s stick to your suggestion of twice a week. About how many weeks are we talking about?”

“At least ten.”

She nodded. “When can we start?”

“Next week.”

“Fine with me.”

 

Laura left the building still in a trance.

Diloxin. Radiation therapy. Starting next week. She had known that hard times were lying ahead of her, but to be presented with the bare facts now was something entirely different. To lose an afternoon each week… How could she cover this up for any length of time? If word lacked, Richard would make sure that she was booted within a few days. He would declare her unfit for her job, and she wouldn’t be able to do anything about it.

Diloxin. She would lose her hair within weeks. She wasn’t a vain woman, but she had always thought her hair to be one of her better features. Maybe she should take care about a wig as soon as possible. A good one could surely look nearly like her natural hair. Still, it would be fake. What would Bill think? Soon, she would be as bald as the day that she had been born. She didn’t want Bill to see her like that. Bald and, after a while, unnaturally thin. He had told her that he thought she was beautiful. He wouldn’t think this any longer once she was some weeks into treatment. It was about to become ugly. She was about to become ugly. If she hadn’t felt stellar during her stay in the hospital, she was about to feel so much worse under diloxin. As wonderful a man Bill Adama was, he might crumble, give up when he saw what loving a cancer patient really entailed. She might have won a small battle, but the war was far from being over.

Back in her office, she told her secretary that she wasn’t to be disturbed, shutting herself away from the world if only for a short while. Later this day, she would have a meeting with Richard, Samuel and the secretary of defence. She wished she could cancel it, but this wasn’t an option. Although, seeing Richard hadn’t been on her list of things she liked to do during the last days.

Thomas had managed to prevent a scandal, to keep his colleague quiet – how ever he had done that. Richard had denied having anything to do with it, though Laura didn’t believe him. She knew he was cooking up something else, what it was remained to be seen. Letting out a sigh, she watched her fingers thrumming a nervous rhythm onto her desk. Gods, she was so tired of all this. Tired of fighting for everything – her life, her health… It was time to call Bill to let him know about her appointment. She knew he was waiting.

 

He owned a house. After more than twenty years, he finally owned a house again. The ink might still be drying on the paper, but it didn’t diminish his feeling of elation. Too many years had passed in near stagnation, this was moving forward. The best thing about it all was that he could move the next month. The couple that had owned the place before him was moving to Picon. It meant that a lot of work was waiting for him, but he didn’t mind, even welcomed the thought. If he had one think in abundance now, it was time, and he had always loved to work with his hands. He would transform this house into a real home. A home for him, and maybe Laura if she let him. She knew he had bought this house for a reason, but if he had asked her to move in with him, she would have declined, Bill was sure of that. Laura Roslin was an independent woman, one who was afraid of intimacy. He had gotten to know her well during the last weeks, but there were many things he didn’t know yet. She guarded her secrets; however that there were things weighing down on her aside of her cancer was easy for him to see. It was up to her, though, to talk to him if she wanted to. That she had let him in was more than he had expected in the first place.

He closed his eyes, letting the pale sun warm him. Minutes had passed when a shadow fell over him, robbing him of the meagre warmth.

“I thought I might find you here.” It was the last person he had expected.

“Carolanne. What are you doing here?” His eyes now open, he watched her while she sat down on the bench beside him.

“I tried to reach. You didn’t answer your phone. You weren’t at your apartment so I thought I could as well take the scenic route home.”

“And you knew you’d find me here.” It wasn’t a question but a statement.

“It was where you went when we argued in the past.”

“I could have been anywhere, Carolanne. Could have had a meeting, be with someone else.”

She laughed, amusement apparent in her eyes. “I tried to get to talk to you for the last two days. It was only today that I tried it here. Call it luck.”

“You could have left a message.”

“And would you have called back?”

He chuckled. “Most probably not.”

“And that’s why I’m here.”

“So what do you want?”

She shook her head. “Oh, I’m fine. Thanks for asking. You look a bit tired, though.”

“I’m not up to any small talk.” Honestly, what did Carolanne want from him? They had hardly spoken in fifteen years. After Zak’s death, she had blamed him, not wasting any time, listing all his supposed wrong doings in the process. That she had invited him to her wedding had come as a huge surprise. He couldn’t figure out her angle, and if he was honest, he didn’t know if he even wanted to.

“Don’t you think it’s time to let go of the past, Bill?”

He snorted. “What do you want, Carolanne?” He could feel her eyes on him but refused to look at her.

“I want to talk to you about Lee.”

“Lee? What’s with him?”

“I think he’s unhappy, and I hoped you could talk to him as he refuses to talk to me.”

“What makes you think he’ll listen to me? Never mind that he’s not even on planet at the moment.”

“I know, but he’ll be back in two weeks. Bill, you’re his father, and your opinion matters a lot to him. He might seem to reject you, but that’s not the truth. He’s looking up to you. Lee and I don’t have the close relationship you think we have.” She sighed. “Let’s face it, I haven’t been the mother the boys needed.”

Bill hadn’t thought he would see the day Carolanne wise up. Though, maybe life had shaped her as much as it had shaped him. Bill knew for a fact that he wasn’t the man he had been before Zak’s death. He turned slightly, facing her. “What’s Lee’s problem?”

“He’s in love. But I start to think he’ll never make a move. It’s eating him from the inside. You might be surprised, but it’s…”

“Kara Thrace,” Bill interrupted her.

“You knew?”

“I’ve seen them at your wedding. I couldn’t help but notice. Lee’s like an open book when it comes to Kara. But I don’t think you can force anything. Either something will happen or it won’t.”

“I don’t talk about forcing anything, Bill. Just offer him a sympathetic ear. Who knows? Maybe he’ll talk.”

“I can’t promise anything.”

“I don’t expect any promises. Just… just be there for him. He wouldn’t talk to me, so maybe he’ll talk to you.”

He nodded. “Okay, I’ll try it.” It felt surreal sitting here with his ex-wife as if it was an everyday occurrence.

“Thank you.” She gave him a smile, still he stiffened when she touched his arm. She let go of him instantly. “So, how are you, Bill? You simply disappeared on my wedding day.”

“I’m fine. Thank you.”

She sighed. “Why don’t you just tell me that you don’t want to talk about it?”

There it was again, the tone of voice he knew way too well from his marriage. “I’m fine, Carolanne, there’s no need to try and interpret my mood.”

“Let’s not argue again. We did enough of that in the past.”

“Indeed.”

“Tell me, are you seeing someone at the moment?”

“Why do you ask?”

She laughed. “Part intuition, part Lee. When I saw him for the last time, he said you had seemed distracted when he met with you last like you had rather been somewhere else.”

Bill shook his head; still he had to smile inwardly. It was so easy to forget how perceptive Lee really was. He often made the impression as if he was more than busy with his own life, but in fact, there was not much that Lee didn’t know. “There’s nothing to tell.”

“So there is someone. Good for you, Bill. I hope she’ll make you happy.”

To his own astonishment, he heard himself answer. “Yes, she does.”

Carolanne got up from the bench, brushing some dust from her pants. “I have to go. I have a meeting with some friends soon. It was nice to talk to you again.”

“Likewise.”

“Liar.” Her smile was broad. “Anyway, before I leave you to your peace again, let me give you some advice, even if you don’t want to hear it. You should take off your wedding band. No woman likes it when the man she loves still wears a token of love from a relationship that has ended long since.” Without waiting for a reply, she left.

Bill remained where he was for a while longer, unsure what to make of all of it. It had been good to share civil contact with Carolanne for a change. It had been the right step, a step forward. Still, it felt odd to spend any time with her without feeling much of anything for her.

He had used to love her. She had been the woman, after a long line of relationships, that he had wanted to marry, to spend his life with.

He had used to hate her. She had been the woman who had argued with him for hours and days as soon as he had been back in the house after yet another absence. Whenever he had thought of Carolanne in the last thirty years, strong emotions had been involved. They were all gone now.

He toyed with his ring, looking down at it. Had Carolanne been right? Did it bother Laura that he was still wearing it? Would he be bothered if she still wore the wedding band of a marriage that was over for several years? The answer was a simple one. Yes, he would. It would make him assume that Laura still harboured deeper feelings for this man. Coming to a decision, he got up and placed the wedding ring on the bench, leaving without looking back. It was time to let the past rest.

 

“Laura, are you even listening to me?” Bill’s voice penetrated her thoughts. She hadn’t even realised that she had stopped listening to him some time ago.

“I’m sorry, Bill. What did you say?”

He looked at her worried, reaching over the table to take her hand in his.

There he had invited her to dinner, and she didn’t even do him the courtesy to listen to him.

“I don’t care if you listen to me or not, Laura. But are you sure you’re okay?”

“I’m… no, I’m not fine. I can’t stop thinking about treatment.” She looked from their joined hands up to his face. His craggy features were showing his worry for her, but, thank the Gods, no pity. “Bill, you should really reconsider. This… it’s going to be rough, and this might be the understatement of the year.”

He sighed, anger clouding his features for the briefest moment. Laura wondered how a full-fledged argument between them might look like. It wouldn’t be pretty, that much was sure. She looked down at their hands again.

“It’s missing.”

“Yes, it is.”

She looked up, surprised. She hadn’t realised that she had spoken aloud. She traced along the patch of lighter skin where Bill’s wedding ring had been only a few days before. “But why?”

He held her gaze. “Someone gave me a much needed wake-up call. And it was more than about time to let go of the past.”

“I see.”

“Laura, I don’t want to cloud what we have now with thoughts of things long forgotten.”

She sighed. “But I can’t promise you a future, Bill. All I can promise you is more pain and stress.”

“And we will face it together.” His expression broke no argument.

“You didn’t have to take it off for me, Bill. I never asked you to.” He didn’t want to talk about the cancer? So be it. But he would have to face it soon enough, would see it in all its glory.

“I know, but it was time. I should’ve taken it off ages ago. And it would be sad if you had to ask me to do it first. It’s sad that I didn’t realise it on my own.”

They finished dinner in silence, deciding to walk back to her apartment despite the cold and the late hour. Bill was talking about the renovations he planned for this house when she couldn’t bear it any longer. She had to talk about what was on her mind.

“Bill?”

He turned to her, stopping when he saw her face. “What is it, Laura?”

“I have an appointment next week.”

“With your doctor?”

For once, Laura wished it was that easy. “No, I’m going to look for a wig.” She bit her lip, waiting for his reaction.

“I understand. Would you like me to go with you?”

“No, I want to do that on my own.”

He looked slightly hurt, but she couldn’t change it. To deal with it herself was almost more then she could handle. The thought that he would watch while she tried on false hair… no, she couldn’t have that.

“It won’t matter, Laura.”

“It will. Believe me, it will.”

“No. To me, you will always be beautiful.”

She wanted to laugh, but it came out as a strangled sob. “Let’s see what you’ll think in a few weeks from now.” She could see further protest in his eyes, in the way his jaw clenched and unclenched. “Let’s get out of this cold,” she said, leading the way.

They reached her apartment a few minutes later. It had been her intention to bid him goodbye, she had a full schedule for the next day, but now, she found she didn’t want to be alone. Taking his hand, she studied his now bare hand in the lamplight, and he let her. She hadn’t thought much about his wedding band, hadn’t consciously minded, but to see it gone had elated and scared her at the same time. It was a relief to know that he didn’t still harbour any deep feelings for his ex-wife, that she wasn’t simply a substitute for something he couldn’t have any longer. But it was a burden, too. She couldn’t promise him a future. No one ever knew how long any relationship would hold, but in her case, she couldn’t even begin to predict what things would look like for her in a year from now. Maybe, she thought wryly, they should’ve decommissioned a different ship. Bill Adama would still roam the halls of his ship, never know she existed. But how could she let go of him now? He was her anchor, the calm she missed when everything became too much. His hand was warm in her own, his finger thick and strong and slightly calloused. Many a thing he hadn’t told her with his voice but with his fingers, his digits painting words of love and reassurance onto her skin.

“Laura?”

She looked up at him, having no idea how much time had passed since they had arrived. “Will you stay with me tonight?”

He took her in for a moment before he nodded. With a smile, she opened the door, guiding them into the warmth of the building.

Inside her apartment, she walked over to her kitchenette for a glass of water, offering Bill one, too.

“No, thank you,” he said, leaning against the counter, watching her.

“You don’t seem to be well. You look unhappy. I understand, but are you sure you want me here right now?”

If he only knew. If she just had the right words to tell him how much his presence at this moment meant to her.

“Yes, please stay. I…” She took a deep breath before voicing a truth she would rather deny. “Please make love to me, Bill.” She swallowed. “I want to experience this once again before the therapy will take my strength, my looks…”

He walked over to her, taking the glass from her hand and placing it on the stove. His hands came to rest on her shoulders. “Laura, look at me.” She did, seeing nothing but love for her in his expression. “You should know that you don’t have to ask.”

When he kissed her, it was soft; his hand reached up to brush some tears she couldn’t suppress from her face. Bill was gentle in a way she hadn’t known before.

Leading her into her bedroom, he undressed her with care, kissing his way down her body. In a way, she felt unreal, floating in a sea of emotions. The world receded, nothing counted, nothing but to feel Bill above her, inside of her. Touching him, tasting him was all that mattered. They rocked together without urgency, trying to draw out the experience. Eventually, Bill quickened his pace, only to stop and turn them. Her eyes opened and met his in a silent question. He smiled up at her. “Tonight, the lady’s in charge.”

She returned his smile, sitting up slowly. Gods, how much had she missed making love in this position and be able to control the act. With Richard, it had been frakking on a time table. To be able to take her time, to savour instead of devour made her giddy with happiness. Moving slowly over him, she let herself be guided by her feelings, Bill’s moans sweet encouragement. Raising herself, only to sink back down on him, being filled completely by him, it evoked such deep contentment in her that she wished she could stay in this moment forever. Her arousal built slowly, only to skyrocket when one of Bill’s hands covered her breast, stroking a taut nipple, the other reaching between them to caress her in tandem with her own movements.

“I can’t hold off much longer,” he let out on a breath. It didn’t matter, Bill’s and her combined efforts caused a stimulus of sensation that had her climax within a minute, her muscles contracting around him. She was flying, thinking she would never come down again. Not that she wanted to.

Bill grabbed her by her waist, thrusting into her with abandon now. He came shortly after, pulsating inside of her.

When her whole body became limp, she draped herself over him, her head on his shoulder, her hand on his chest, feeling his erratic heartbeat. The soothing feeling of his hands on her back nearly lulled her to sleep. It was a moment of silent beauty one of far too few in her life. But it was worth fighting for. This was worth the pain and the fear. Bill Adama was worth it.

She slowly drifted into sleep.

 

“She should rest now.”

Bill nodded his understanding at the nurse, taking Laura’s arm. They walked slowly out of the building. Laura was pale, shaky. He was glad that she had allowed him to accompany her to her first diloxin treatment, but truth to be told, he hadn’t been prepared. It had been worse than he had thought it would be. To helplessly watch how poison dripped into Laura’s veins, to feel the warmth leaving her body, first her hand, then the whole arm, in the end her whole body, he hadn’t considered how helpless it would make him to see her twist in pain, to see her face twist when nausea threatened to overwhelm her. He had tried to talk her through it, but in the end, words were meaningless. There was nothing he could do to make anything easier for her. It made his insides churn with pain. And she would have to live through this once a week for only gods knew how many weeks?

The ride back to her apartment passed in silence.

Laura had her eyes tightly closed. This time, it seemed to be a long way to her apartment, nearly too long. As soon as she had closed the door behind her, she stumbled into her guest bathroom, throwing up her meagre lunch. Bill kneeled down behind her, holding up her hair. Two times, he thought Laura had finished and wanted to help her up when everything started anew. Only when he was sure that nothing more was forthcoming, he scooped her up in his arms despite his creaking knees, carrying her into her bedroom. She tried to sit up, but he held her down, gently but insistent.

“I want to brush my teeth, Bill. I want to shower. I feel filthy.”

He relented. “Okay, but at least let me help you.” He watched her closely when she walked over to her bathroom and helped her to undress. Climbing into the shower stall behind her, he helped her wash herself, massaging shampoo into her hair and shower gel into her shore muscles. Afterwards, she quickly brushed her teeth before going to bed where she collapsed. Bill sighed, if he could carry the burdens for her if only for a little while.

“Thank you,” she whispered when she had climbed under the covers, her lithe frame still shivering.

“You’re welcome, love.” He slipped out of the room to retrieve a bowl in case she might need it.

“You should go home now, Bill. It’s going to be a rough night.”

“No way.” What did she think of him? That he wasn’t able to deal with rough times? Shedding the towel he had wound around his waist, he got into bed as well, spooning her from behind. “You know what?” he whispered into her ear.

“No,” she whispered back.

“Once this is all over, we’re going to Aquarius. We’ll make a nice long vacation, directly at one of the beaches. Just imagine the hot sand under your feet, how it warms every bone in your body.”

“This is a nice idea.”

“Not just an idea. Believe me, sooner than you might think we’re going to make it reality.” He pressed a kiss to her neck. “Try to sleep now.”

“You too, Bill.”

Not more than two hours had passed when she started to toss and turn in her sleep. Bill hadn’t been able to fall asleep yet and, knowing what was to come, extricated himself from her, reaching over her restless form to grab the bowl he had placed in front of the bed. She woke up from his movements, looking at him uncomprehendingly for a short moment, then nausea overwhelmed her. All he could do was to hold her hair again while she heaved white foam, her body trembling. Afterwards, he made her drink a glass of water before getting up, cleaning the bowl and coming back with a warm, wet towel to soothe her sweaty, cold skin, as well as with a toothbrush and a glass of water to rinse her mouth when she was done. They did this again twice, both falling into an exhausted slumber by early morning.

The peace didn’t last long as Laura’s alarm roused them way too soon. His eyes felt heavy and swollen, and a look at her told him that she wasn’t off much better, quite the contrary. Her legs wobbled precariously when she tried to stand.

“Call in sick and come back to bed.”

She shook her head, even when her face was as white as a blanket and she had her lips pressed together, forming a thin line.

“Don’t be unreasonable. You’re in no way up for work.”

“I can’t, Bill. This was only one of many treatments. I better get used to this, but please stay and sleep some more.” The look in her eyes was soft. “You look dreadful. Some rest will do you a world of good.”

Laura was sick like a dog and told him he needed sleep? Her concern touched him more than he wanted to let on, making him sound scolding when in fact it wasn’t meant this way. “It’s not me needing sleep.”

“It doesn’t matter, Bill. I have to go to work.” She turned, walking slowly towards her bathroom, and soon, Bill heard the shower running. Thirty minutes later, she was fully dressed, as was Bill. Part of him could understand her, another part thought she was unreasonable. At least, she let him drive her to work. He would start with first renovations on his house today, but in the evening, he would be back, waiting for her.

Laura couldn’t concentrate. She had a headache, her nausea was barely under control. She had tried some light breakfast despite not being hungry, but her body wanted to hear none of it. When her phone rang for the umpteenth time this afternoon, she considered not picking it up. It wasn’t an option, though. Her secretary informed her it was the president and, without waiting for her reaction, put him through.

Richard and she had tried their best to stay out of each other’s way in the last weeks. It had worked quite fine, at least for her.

“Mister President.”

“Madame Secretary.” He was formal, almost stiff in his reply. “I just received an invitation to the christening of Virgon’s state university next week. I’ll go, of course. So close to elections, it might make for a nice gesture and some good publicity shots. I want you to come with me. We’ll go next Thursday and be back Sunday morning.”

No, she couldn’t do that. She had diloxin treatment only a day before that trip and radiation therapy scheduled for Saturday. “Sorry, but I can’t. I have some appointments I can’t reschedule.”

Richard laughed mirthlessly. “It wasn’t a request, Laura, but an order. We’ll go together, or I’ll make everyone aware that the secretary of education refuses to do her job.”

“You aren’t serious, are you?” Was this his new approach? After having failed to discredit her on a public level, he now wanted to blackmail her into trips with him so that he could try to convince her to quit time and again.

“Oh, you can believe me, I’m absolutely serious. But I don’t have the time to argue with you any longer. I have a meeting in five minutes. See you for the Quorum meeting on Monday.” He terminated the call, leaving her fuming. This trip could only end in a catastrophe. One day, things were bound to end ugly, and all she could hope for was to survive relatively unscathed.

She informed her secretary, asking her to organise the trip, before she called her doctor’s office to postpone radiation therapy onto Sunday.

Virgon. With Richard. They had been there before, nearly at the beginning of their affair. They had had adjoining rooms and had spent the a whole night together, feeding each other fruits, watching some dirty movies in his suit and joking about what people would say if they learned that mayor Adar had watched porn during a business trip. It had been easier times. They had been carefree. But those times were long since over. If Richard remembered the same things? And did it even matter? She laughed out. When had her life begun to turn upside down? When had her friend become her enemy, and her enemy her friend? She didn’t know. All she knew, all she felt was that things wouldn’t become any easier – Richard would see to that.

TBC


	10. Chapter 10

“They gave us the same rooms as last time,” Richard noted. They waited for his security detail to finish inspecting their rooms. He gave her a sideway glance. “Do you think about how things were back then sometimes?”

He would like that, wouldn’t he? “No, I don’t. It’s in the past, and there’s nothing left than to move forward.”

Although Richard had been cordial during their trip, she would be happy when she could close the door behind her. Her body ached, and she still felt nauseated from yesterday’s diloxin treatment. Again, Bill had been there, but even his calm assurance couldn’t prevent the cold from seeping into her bones or help keeping the nausea at bay. If at all, last night had been worse than the one a week ago. How she had managed to be up and running in time remained a mystery to her.

“I know that I believed we could change the worlds, so many things seemed to be within reach of possibility.”

Fantastic, couldn’t Richard postpone his trip down nostalgia lane to some other time?

Finally content with their findings, the security detail allowed them to enter.

Without throwing another glance in Richard’s direction, she proceeded into her room, closing the door behind her. She threw her suitcase onto the ground, flopping down on the bed and closed her eyes. If she was really lucky, the nausea would dissipate within the next hour. She still had three hours until the “Welcome on Virgon” banquet so she could lie down for at least an hour before she worked on making herself presentable. Slipping out of her shoes, she scrambled fully up on the bed, coming to rest on her side, on of the fluffy pillows pressed flat against her stomach for comfort and warmth.

She had no idea how much time had passed, although by her estimation, it couldn’t have been more than ten minutes when a door opened.

“What are you doing? Don’t tell me you’re taking a nap.”

She sat up too quickly, and the room started to spin. “What do you think you’re doing in my room, Richard?”

He walked over, coming to stand in front of her bed. “Well, you left rather abruptly, which was more than a bit impolite, by the way. If you hadn’t been in such a hurry to leave, I would have told you that I wanted to go through tomorrow’s agenda with you.”

“What are you talking about?” She took a deep breath to calm her heart which was beating erratically. If from the exertion of getting up too fast or from her rising anger, she had no idea.

“You’re supposed to give a short speech. I’m supposed to give a short speech.”

“This should be the least of your problems. Didn’t you tell me yourself that Saggitaron’s proposal of integrating religion into each of our school systems is potential dynamite?”

“Is this how you see it? That this trip isn’t worth the time of the mighty Secretary Roslin? At least not more than a nap? Or tell me, did your new boyfriend wear you out so much that you can’t be bothered to do your job any longer?”

“You’re an asshole, Richard.” Her nausea became unbearable, but Richard made no move to leave. He was about to say something, most probably he wanted to exchange more niceties, but Laura couldn’t wait another moment. She turned on her heel and made a beeline for the bathroom. She didn’t even have it in her to close the door. Her dignity might be taking a backseat, but throwing up on the tiles was utterly acceptable. She didn’t know if Richard had left, not that she cared at the moment. When she was sure that nothing more was forthcoming, she quickly got up on shaky legs. But she should have known it. Richard was leaning on the doorframe, watching her. Frak. This shouldn’t have happened. There might have been a time in the past when she wouldn’t have minded having him with her in such a situation, when she’d have been thankful for his comforting presence, but this time was long since past.

“Maybe you shouldn’t have partied so hard,” he said.

Laura rinsed her mouth for lack of toiletries which were still in her suitcase. “You have no idea. Can’t you simply leave me alone? It’s enough that we have to be civil throughout dinner in two hours, don’t you think?” The thought of any kind of food made her queasy, but she held her ground.

“I don’t think we’re finished with our briefing yet.”

“For the love of the Gods, let it rest. I have a head splitting migraine and can’t concentrate on anything at the moment. You know me long enough to know how serious I take my duties. Let’s not be childish here and try to get through this evening as smooth as possible.”

Something nasty flickered in his eyes, but then he relented. “Will you be okay?”

It was laughable. First, he insulted her, and now, he was showing concern for her? The utterly sad thing was that part of her was touched by his concern. During a trip many a year ago, she had come down with a flu, and Richard had tended to her with tea and cold towels the whole night. That night, she had almost loved him, had wished that he was free of responsibilities, that they could explore their relationship to its full extend.

She shook her head, allowing Richard to see her exhaustion. “I don’t know, but it doesn’t matter. Dinner will be up in a few hours, and I’ll be there.”

He nodded. “Try to get some rest while you can. I’ll be back in two hours.” He left without any further word.

Truth to be told, she wasn’t sure what had made him give in, but she wouldn’t question it now.

Laura decided to forgo a nap. If she actually fell asleep, she wasn’t sure if even an alarm could rouse her. A quick shower would have to do. That, and calling Bill. Ridiculous as it was, she missed him.

 

Laura didn’t eat a bite, didn’t dare to. No one seemed to notice, no one beside Richard, that was. She toyed with her food while making polite conversation with Virgon’s Quorum representative. After dinner, they had a quick conversation with the new university’s dean where they talked about tomorrow’s schedule. She was about to excuse herself when Richard took the chance to ask her for a dance. It was the dean who excused himself with an indulged smile now. Richard took her hand and led her onto the dance floor. Soon, they swayed to the music which, thankfully, was slow. Something to upset her stomach was the last thing she needed.

Richard was a good dancer, always had been. They were good together at a lot of things. If they danced a little closer than advisable, it didn’t matter. This was better than their constant arguing of the past weeks.

“It almost feels like old times, doesn’t it?” he whispered into her ear.

“Yes, it does.”

“Why, Laura? What happened?”

“Life happened.”

“That’s too easy an explanation.”

“Of course, it is. But what do you want me to say? That it was only a matter of time until a few fraks in between weren’t enough anymore? That you wanted an easy out and tried to toss me out of my job?”

He withdrew slightly to look at her. “You changed. During the last year, you changed.” He wasn’t quite wrong.

Although she hadn’t gone and confirmed her suspicions about her cancer, she had felt it. She had retreated from him, from herself. “You changed, too. Do you really want to go there, though?”

Looking at her for a long moment, he made a decision, she could see it in his eyes. “Sometimes, I think of the early days. Do you remember the second campaign for mayor? The evening on Libra? When we took a walk after dinner?”

How could she forget? They had slipped out of the hotel under the coven of night. She had no idea how long they had walked, she with her shows in her hand, when Richard had stopped them. He had kissed her, taking her breath, stripping her out of her flimsy, white dress. They had made love in the wet sand, the surf washing over her legs and back every so often. It had ended with sand sticking to each conceivable place, their clothes wet. Only two hours later, their clothes had been dry enough to dare cross the hotel’s lobby without raising suspicions. But it had been different times, different feelings. It had been more about a physical and emotional connection than just a quick frak to find some meagre release.

“I do,” she finally answered him. “But we can’t live in the past. We chose our paths. All we can do now is to make the present as amenable as possible.”

Richard’s right hand travelled lower, coming to rest just a hair’s breadth over her buttocks. “We always had a good time, Laura. We could have one again. Just join me tonight. It could be like our first time here.”

She had to admire his audacity. There he’d tried to fire her, to declare her unfit for office with various means, and now, he wanted her in his bed again? Maybe before he tried to fire her again. But this was one of Richard’s problems. He had never been able to separate job and private life. In her years working for him, she had seen many of his professional or private relationships break because he couldn’t differentiate between the one and the other. Maybe she had simply been lucky so far. Not that he was an entirely inconsiderate man, he wasn’t. He had what it took to be an excellent politician and had helped her through some tough times in her past, still it was over. There was nothing he could do to change that.

“Don’t even think about it.”

He sighed. “If you don’t tell my wife, I won’t tell your new friend. Who is he anyway?”

“No one you know.”

“Is he the reason you are so unreasonable?”

She laughed quietly, not wanting to draw any attention to them. “I’m not the one who’s unreasonable here.” The dance was over. Laura extricated herself from Richard’s embrace. “I’ll see you tomorrow.” With polite nods to some people in passing, she took her leave.

What the frak did Richard think he was doing? The constant push and pull was tiring. It was her own fault that she had things let go on for as long as she had, still she had never thought Richard would react that out of proportion to her ending the affair. Why didn’t he go and find another woman to frak? She knew for a fact that the secretary of agriculture wouldn’t say no. She snorted amused. The things one could learn when meeting a drunken colleague in the ladies room. Maybe she should drop Richard a hint. Secretary Gelder was a good looking woman, nearly ten years younger than she. This was one of the things Laura had never understood anyway. Why hadn’t Richard dropped her for a younger woman years ago?

Back in her hotel room, she took another quick shower.

She flopped down on the bed, nauseated and trembling. Damn diloxin. She called Bill who seemed to sense her strange mood.

“Are you in bed?” he asked.

“Yes, I am.”

“Good, then switch off the lights and lean back.”

“Bill, I’m sorry, but I’m not up to this.”

He laughed. “Define ‘this’.”

“Oh, I thought you meant… never mind.”

“I didn’t know that Madame Secretary is into the art of telephone loving.” He was teasing her, and if she wasn’t that drained, she would have enjoyed it.

“Why don’t we call it by its proper name, Bill? Phone sex, and yes, I did it before.”

“Intriguing. Do you like it?”

“Well, it’s not like the real thing, but it can be a nice replacement from time to time, especially with the right man. Those with deep voices are especially interesting.” Of course, she had done it before. Countless times. Most of them with Richard when he had been on a trip, finding himself bored and horny. Although, the last time he had called her for that, she had faked it, had felt detached form what she’d been doing.

“So you like deep voices?” he asked, his voice dropping a level or two.

In spite of herself, she chuckled. “Yes, I do. Yours is a very fine example.”

“I’ll have to remember that. Anyway, that’s not what I had in mind. Not this time. Now go and do what I told you.”

She did, wondering what he was up to.

A minute later, she lay snuggled under her covers, the only light coming from the pale moon outside. “Okay, I’m done.”

“Fine. Do you have your eyes closed?”

“Yes, I have.”

“Good, now listen. ‘A Corpse at Noon, a novel by…’”

Tears prickled behind her eyes. He was reading to her, knowing that his voice would soothe her. Gods, she was thankful to have him in her life.

Bill read to her for nearly half an hour until she told him that she couldn’t keep her eyes open any longer. She fell asleep nearly instantly.

An hour later, she awoke form the knocking on the door adjoining hers and Richard’s room. She ignored it, grabbing the earplugs she had brought with her. Beside the one time her nausea wok her in the middle of the night, she slept undisturbed until the next morning.

 

To find Saul on his doorstep was a surprise. He had worked in his house the whole day before and even slept there. Sure, he had given Saul his new address, but he hadn’t expected him to come to visit. His friend was in a good mood, making himself comfortable on one of the two singe chairs in the room.

“Looks nice here,” he remarked.

“Not yet,” Bill chuckled. “But I’m working on it. What can I do for you, Saul?”

“Do for me? Nothing. Can’t I just want to see on old friend?”

“You can. How are you?”

Saul started a lengthy account of his last weeks, now and then referring to things back on Galactica. One of his favourite topics, like always, was Kara. Bill didn’t stop him, but truth to be told, he didn’t want to think of her, the wound still too sore.

His thoughts drifted away, and he didn’t realise that Saul had stopped talking. “Are you all right, old man?”

He knew Saul would see right through him so he didn’t even try to lie. “I’m fine, but I’d rather talk about something else.”

Saul gave him a questioning look, but conceded. “Anyway, that’s not what I’m here for.”

“What is it then?”

Saul grinned. “Ellen and I thought it a splendid idea to invite you and your girlfriend for dinner.”

“What makes you think I’m with someone?” Bill couldn’t bring himself to use the word ‘girlfriend’. It didn’t fit Laura or how he felt for her.

“How long do we know each other?”

“More than thirty years.”

“Exactly. I know when you’re seeing someone as you would know if I’d be seeing someone.”

“What? Is Ellen not enough anymore?”

“Don’t be ridiculous. She’d be enough for two men.”

“Indeed.”

“But don’t change the topic. Will you come and bring her?”

That was a bad idea, although Bill was loathing to admit it to him. Laura and Saul had only met each other once, on Galactica. It hadn’t been for more than five minutes, but it had been enough for both of them to know that they didn’t like each other. It was a pity that the people closest to him would likely not get along even if they tried, but it didn’t mean that Bill was willing to let go of either of them. “Maybe some other time, Saul. But thanks for the offer.”

“Come on, you can’t be serious. Is there something I should know? Is she too young for you? Or does she have a dark past she has to keep a secret?”

“Don’t be ridiculous.”

“So, she’s so beautiful that you don’t another man to set eyes on her?”

That she was, although it was another thing he wouldn’t talk about to Saul. “It’s still too new. Give us some time, and we can talk about it again.”

“As you wish.” Saul got up, nodding at Bill. “Hope you’ll use your time with her wisely.” He winked at Bill and was gone.

Impossible, Saul Tigh was nothing if not impossible.

 

Bill worked until noon before he decided to buy some groceries at the next supermarket. Laura would be back tomorrow afternoon, and he wanted to cook for her. She needed as much strength as possible. Although radiation therapy left her exhausted, nauseated, it wasn’t as bad as with diloxin so chances were good that a nice dinner before couldn’t hurt. It wasn’t a meal too fat and had enough proteins and other stuff Laura’s body needed.

The bag with is groceries in his arms, he bought a newspaper and headed home.

He sat down with the newspaper and a sandwich he’d bought. Taking a bite, he skimmed the front page. The bite he had just taken took a wrong turn when he read the first headline, and he coughed violently. This had to be a bad joke. Once the coughing subsided, he took another look. ‘The Secretary’s Sinister Past’ – there was a picture of a younger Laura underneath it. She was obviously naked; even with most of the picture blackened out, it was painstakingly clear what was shown. Horrified, Bill read on. ‘Who is the real Laura Roslin? The secretary of education is one of the most influential women in the Twelve Colonies. Under her, the education system thrived, and more students than ever before leave high school with a diploma or attend university. According to new information, Roslin hides a less than formidable past. In her early student days, she was caught and arrested for smoking illegal, hallucinogenic substances and running around naked in public places. First questions arise if we can still trust her with the future of our children. So far, Roslin, who attends the inauguration of Virgon’s State University at the moment, couldn’t be reached for a statement.’

Bill put the newspaper aside, a whirlwind of emotions having its way with him. Overall, he felt numb, though. It was shocking to discover a part of Laura he hadn’t had any idea about. She had a fierce spirit, and he could easily picture her stripping out of her clothes if properly motivated. Still, to be presented with the evidence that she had indeed done it… he let out a laugh. That she had smoked weed… well, so had he in his past. Come to think of it, he wondered if some of the stuff might help her with her nausea. It was something worth thinking about. No, he didn’t harbour any feelings of anger towards her. Why should he? But this might very well be the end of her career. Although her job caused her more stress than healthy, at least in Bill’s opinion, it helped her to keep it together.

Bill took a bite of his sandwich, not realising what he was chewing on. But the stress, the anger and the agitation this would cause her… his fist banged on the table, a forgotten coffee cup from earlier spilling over. Who had done this to her and why? Laura was supposed to be back on Caprica later this afternoon, and though the harm was done, he’d do his best to be there for her. He sighed. Life was never fair, was it?

 

People were staring at her. But every time she turned to look who it was this time, everyone was busy reading a book, the newspaper, working… This flight seemed to never end. The advantage of travelling with the president was that they were on Colonial One. Less people, faster travelling. The disadvantage was to share a narrow space with nosy people. People who she knew too well and who were now refusing to meet her eyes. Not to forget Richard who had shut in himself in his own cabin. She had only seen him at breakfast when he had smirked at her. That was before she had seen the newspaper.

This was a debacle, a catastrophe. If she could survive this storm, if her job could survive this storm, she wasn’t sure. The thought what might await her on Caprica made her stomach churn with apprehension. But did Richard think that she wasn’t serious, that he would come out of this unscathed? He wouldn’t, Laura would see to it. Seeking revenge wasn’t a nice trait in anyone, but she refused to be sacrificed on the altar of an affair that had ended, resulting in a bruised male ego. The paths one chose, the actions one took had consequences. Laura was about to learn the lesson anew, as would Richard. For the moment, nothing helped, though. The harm was done. All she could do was to show a calm façade, no matter what she felt. On Caprica, she’d try to avoid the press, head home, and maybe meet with Bill afterwards if Bill still wanted to see her. Only the Gods knew what he thought about it. There was something formal about him sometimes, a side that wouldn’t react with understanding to the news. His other side, the one that so often showed a surprising tenderness might want to comfort her, but she didn’t know what it would be this time. This whole affair hurt, stung deeply, but she could live with public condemnation. If she could live with Bill’s disappointment was a completely different matter. She had lived without Bill for over fifty years, she could do so again, but it wasn’t what she wanted.

When the whispers became too much, she took her earplugs to listen to the offered music, closing her eyes. Billy, her aide, had looked pale and shell-shocked, but she chose to ignore him as well. If he was worth his money, he’d help keeping the damage at a minimum; if he wasn’t, it wasn’t worth to think about him at all. It might not be a nice way to think, but Laura was done with playing nice for the time being. To her own surprise, she fell into a light sleep, dreaming of Richard, which was what woke her up shortly before they were due to land on Caprica. Still, there was no sight of the man in question. He wasn’t just a bastard but a coward as well. Laura marvelled at how far he had gone. The only thing she wasn’t quite sure about was if he would have had the article posted even if she had given in to him last night. However, part of her suspected that he would have no matter what.

As expected, a bunch of reporters waited for her when she left Colonial One. Although there were a couple of things she could have told them, she remained silent. Only bad that she couldn’t keep an eye on Richard who surely wouldn’t bother with keeping a lid on things. What she hadn’t expected was Bill who stood in the front row, surrounded by a bunch of reporters. As soon as he saw her, he came forward, taking her arm, helping her steer through the crowd. Her knees were weak. Not because of the sharks that wanted a bit of the latest gossip, but because of her relief. To have Bill her with her, to feel him stroke her arm gently gave her the strength to keep her head up and high, even when her body trembled from the effort.

The crowd was noisy, she heard the telltale click of photos being taken, but five minutes later, it was over when Bill helped her into a cab he had obviously told to wait for them. A smart move, not having come with his own car. If someone knew how to deal with a crowd surrounding a car, it should be a cab driver. Furthermore, there were so many cabs in Caprica City that no one would know which one they had taken five minutes from now.

Bill gave the cab driver the address of his house before he leaned back in his seat, looking at her.

“Are you alright?”

The worry in his eyes threatened to weaken her resolve, and she had to battle the annoying urge to cry. “I’ve been better.”

He nodded. “C’mere.” He reached for her, pulling her close until she sat enfolded in his arms, her head on his shoulder. He didn’t talk through the whole trip. Instead, he stroked her arm up and down in a soothing motion. It was laughable, but in midst of the mess she found herself in, she was happy.

 

The house was still mostly bare – two chairs, a mattress and signs of renovation everywhere. For a neat man, Bill had done a good job of scattering tools and paint all over the place.

He let her sit on one of the chairs, preparing tea, smiling at her every now and then. Less than ten minutes later, he handed her a cup. “Wanna lie down?”

She had to admit that his mattress looked rather cosy. It would easily house two people; there were several pillows and a nice thick comforter. “I’d love to. Will you join me?”

There was no intention from her side to do more than rest, but Bill seemed to understand. They both slipped out of their shoes at the same time, sharing a smile. Not caring about appearance any longer, she shed her skirt and blouse before she joined Bill who was already waiting for her and didn’t wear more than his boxer briefs and tanks.

It felt good to sink back into his arms, to feel his heat, the steady thumping of his heart under her fingertips.

“What happened, Laura?” His voice held no condescension. It was a simple inquiry, nothing more, nothing less.

“Someone dragged out a file from my past. I was a student back then. It was a mad idea, but we thought we were clever.” She draped her leg over his, seeking more contact, more of him.

His hand wound into her hair, stroking it. “There’s more to this story, isn’t there?”

She wished she could control her body, refrain from tensing in his arms, but she was a simple human being. “What makes you say that?”

He shifted so he could place a kiss on her forehead. “Laura, I don’t care what it is. I just want to know what we’re facing here.”

‘We’, not ‘you’. With any other man, she’d have felt weary, would have thought of it as an act of possession, but Bill was simply sincere. Still… “Bill, I’m not who you think I am.” She wanted to extricate herself from his embrace, but he didn’t let her.

“You are not Laura Roslin?”

“That’s not funny, Bill.”

“I didn’t try to make fun of you, but we all have things in our past that can come back to bite us.”

“It’s more complicated than that.”

“Why don’t you tell me. And relax, please. I’m not going to bite.”

She took a deep breath. “Under different circumstances, I’d say what a pity.”

“Laura,” he admonished. “Don’t stall. If you don’t want to talk about it, fine, but if you do, just spill it.”

“I had an affair with a married man. One who didn’t take it lightly that I ended our ‘relationship’. Then there were a couple of other differences as well.”

Bill was silent for a long moment, and Laura wondered if that was her cue to leave, but he was still relaxed beside her, still touching, stroking her. “I can’t say that I think affairs with married people are okay, but it happens.”

“Well, I…”

“Did you love him?”

“Yes. No… I really can’t say.”

“He must be in quite a high ranking position to cause that much harm. I guess he was the one dragging up your former affair with that journalist, too.”

“Yes, he was.”

“Is he a fellow politician?”

She nodded, the mere thought of everything draining her.

“How high ranking?”

The question she really didn’t want to answer. Her mouth felt dry. She wasn’t ashamed of her affair with Richard, but it wasn’t something she was proud of either. “The president.”

“That prick?!”

“Bill!” She had to stifle the sudden urge to laugh; the indignation in Bill’s voice was too funny.

“Just for your information, I think Adar is an idiot with more ego than knowledge.”

“When he started out, he had ideals. Being in office changed him.”

“That’s no excuse. There’s no higher ranking office in the colonies, and he messed up.”

“I guess he did.”

“How long?”

She didn’t need to ask him to clarify. “Years. Way too long.”

“What made you break up with him?”

She sighed. “I told you that I knew about my health even before I had a confirmation? It all didn’t seem to be worth it any longer. What Richard could offer me… well, it didn’t seem to matter any longer. I wasn’t interested anymore. I actually tried to break up with him a few times. Each time, he came back. I was too tired, too imprisoned in routine. I gave in. After the last time, the thing with the teacher’s union came up. He must have thought this was the opportunity to get rid of me or, at least, to get me out of office.”

“But he couldn’t quite let go of you?”

“I think so. Really, I don’t know.”

“He made advances, though.” It was a statement, not a question. And it was now that he tensed up.

“Yes.”

“When?”

“It doesn’t matter, Bill.”

“When?” It seemed all men were alike, going rigid when another man came to hunt in what they deemed their territory.

“Yesterday, but you don’t think anything happened, do you?” Her tone was sharp. It might be comforting to know that Bill was still on her side, but that didn’t mean that she was willing to deal with unjustified jealousy.

“No, I don’t.”

“Anyway, he must have called his press contact the second he knew that he was trying in vain. Or his grand plan was to ruin my career and be there to help me keep it together on a personal level.”

Bill turned slightly, shifting so that they lay face to face. “We’ll get him for that. President or not.”

She had to smile at the conviction in his voice. “Yes, we will.”

Their faces were only a few inches apart, and suddenly, Laura wished for more contact. Bathing in the warmth of his eyes for a moment longer, she closed the gab between them, kissing him. He returned her kiss, deepening it. Tired as she was, her body became alive under his ministrations, wanting more and more of him.

They made love, slowly, unhurried. It wasn’t so much about desire, passion but about reconnection.

Before she finally fell asleep, Laura thought she didn’t care that much about what happened next. Here with Bill, she had found more than her job could ever offer her.

It was the phone that woke him up. Sometimes, he was thoroughly tempted to get rid of his mobile phone. Taking a glance at his watch, he saw that it was almost midnight. He hadn’t planned to fall asleep for that long. But it wasn’t a wonder, not after the day they had. Once the adrenaline rush was over, exhaustion followed on its heels.

Laura stirred beside him. He scrambled up from the ground, finding his mobile phone on the kitchen counter where he had left it earlier. He didn’t even bother to look who it was, just answered with a muttered, “Yes?”

“Are you frakking kidding me?” It was Saul who was obviously pissed about one thing or the other.

“What’s the matter?” He refused to ask him why the frak he had thought it a smart idea to call him that late. To expect common courtesy from Saul was a bit too much.

“Joe just called me.”

“Joe?”

“Yes, our good ol’ friend Joe from our merchant days. The one who went back to school to study journalism.”

“Saul, it’s late, and I’m tired. Is there any reason for this call?”

“Of course, there is. So you remember Joe?”

“Yes.” It was just a faint memory, but he still remembered the thin, overly nervous, young man who thought he was extra smart and deemed himself more intelligent than everybody else. He hadn’t liked him.

“Got a call from the little vermin about twenty minutes ago. Seems he writes for the Enquirer now. The story of the day seems to be Roslin and her drug problem. You remember her, huh? The one who took our ship away. Well, Joe said the story comes with brand new photos, showing one Bill Adama helping Roslin out of a crowd of reporters, photos that indicate that said woman and you look rather cosy. Please tell me that she isn’t your new girlfriend. Not that woman.”

By now, Bill was wide awake, happy that Saul was out of reach. There were days when he was hard pressed to not peg him down a notch or two. He threw a sideway glance at Laura who watched him with a worried expression on her face.

“It’s okay,” he mouthed to her before concentrating on the phone call again. “First of all, she’s not my ‘girlfriend’, she’s the woman I love. Second, don’t call her ‘that woman’ – show some respect. And third, Joe can shove his questions up his ass. If he wants to know something about me, he should call me and not you.”

“Relax, old man. No need to be snappy. So you and Roslin, huh? I can’t say I like her, and that won’t change no matter how smitten you are with her.”

“You know I’m not fond of Ellen either, but at least, I show her respect.”

“Don’t get your pants into a knot, Bill. It’s your decision. I’m only surprised, that’s all. Why her, though? How did that happen?”

“We met on Carolanne’s wedding and things… developed.” Laura’s raised eyebrow told him that this was talk for some other time. “But what did you tell Joe?”

At that, Saul laughed. “To frak off and screw himself, and that if the Enquirer posts something nasty, I would know where to look if I wanted to blow off some steam.”

“Thanks, Saul.”

“Anytime. But I guess you were right about dinner. I can’t see Ellen and Roslin getting along. Let’s meet for drinks some time next week.”

“Good idea. I’ll call you.” He ended the call, putting the phone back onto the counter.

“Who was it?”

“Saul.”

“Tigh?”

“Yes.”

“I see. What did he want?”

“An old ‘friend’, a reporter, called him. There’ll be photos of you and me in tomorrow’s newspaper, but that was to be expected.”

She bit her bottom lip, drawing the sheets tighter around her still naked body.

She looked beautiful with her tousled hair and her naked shoulders that made him want to walk over, to touch the silky skin once again.

“Don’t worry, Saul told him nothing, and in a few days, no one will remember this affair any longer.”

“Will I still have a job then?” Her voice was bitter, and he took it as his cue to join her on the mattress, coming to sit opposite of her.

“Would it be so bad if you hadn’t? Do you even have the strength right now to deal with your illness and your job?”

The expression in her eyes told him that he wasn’t the only one who had thought about it, but then she looked away from him.

“I won’t give up my job. I worked hard to get it and even harder to keep it. I won’t let a jealous man take it away from me.”

He watched how she wound a hand into her hair, clearly being agitated.

Both of their faces fell at the same time when Laura let go of her hair and a lock came with her hand, sinking to the ground, the vivid red a stark contrast to the white of the sheets.

Diloxin. Another phase in their battle against the cancer had started. Helplessly, Bill enfolded Laura in his arms when a shocked sob escaped her trembling form.

TBC


	11. Chapter 11

It was too much.

Laura closed the door of her office behind her, leaning her back against it. Her legs trembled, her hands shook. For hours, she had shown the world a strong façade; now, back in the privacy of these four walls, she crumbled. She’d spent the whole morning in a cabinet meeting, annoyed with the constant whispers. Things hadn’t become better, though, when the first brave soul dared ask her about the article, if everything it said was true and what she’d do about it. It wasn’t the time or place to talk about it; they had more important matters to discuss. In all of her years in politics, she had only experienced it twice that colleagues turned into sharks. It was an unpleasant thing to witness, and an even worse one to live through. Richard had been silent throughout this impromptu tribunal, but she had the distinct impression that he was enjoying himself.

She had to sit down, her legs wouldn’t carry her weight much longer. How long would she be able to go on like this? Radiation therapy had drained her of all energy. Diloxin was only two days ahead. They had a full schedule, they had to prepare for oncoming debates as the next election wasn’t that far ahead. No one had time at the moment. But she had to fit in treatments, she had to fit in lies that were harder to tell by the day. She leaned back in her seat, closing her eyes.

The peace didn’t last long. A quick knock on her door, and her aide entered. She should’ve known that her usual ‘you can come in any time’ approach would come back to bite her in the ass one day. Billy gave her a smile, a pained one. Since the article, he wasn’t all too happy with his job anymore. He had ideals, but he also wanted to make career. To be aide of one very wayward secretary couldn’t be his idea of working on his long time goals.

“Take a seat, Billy.”

“Thank you, ma’am.” He sat down and just looked at her.

What was it now? “What can I do for you?”

He shifted ever so slightly in his seat, but it was enough for Laura to know that something was up.

“I tried to find out who was behind this article.”

“You did?”

“Yes, ma’am. I figured that if we knew where the attacker was coming from, we would know if to expect more and maybe find something to counter it with.” His eyes flickered away from her.

This wasn’t good. Not good at all. “What did you find out?”

“Well, it seems that… you see when I… I mean…”

“By the love of the Gods, Billy. Let’s cut to the chase here. What did you find out? And what happened? I don’t have to be a genius to know that something has come up.”

To his credit, he didn’t flinch but sat up straight, looking her straight in the eye. Calm enough under pressure, he was definitely career material. “My father is a journalist. Together, we could trace back the call that was made to the writer of this article. It was the president who tipped off the press.”

She gave him a smile. Poor boy, it seems some of his innocence had been lost throughout the last days. “Your father must be very canny and have excellent connections to have gotten his hands on that information.”

“He has. He’s chief editor of the Colonial Press.”

“Edward Keikeya is your father?”

Billy nodded.

“All right, but that isn’t all, is it?” There was more to his behaviour, Laura could feel it.

“No, ma’am. We… we tried to gather as much information as possible, information we could use in a counterattack.” Billy couldn’t hold her gaze any longer.

“And what did you find? I’d be thankful if you could just tell me. I’m not feeling well today and don’t care for guessing games.” She was sorry she was harsher than she should be, but she had enough of being pushed around, feeling that life controlled her, instead of her controlling life.

“Sorry, ma’am. Well, we found an old photo from a press ball about five years ago. It shows… it shows you and the president… kissing.”

Laura felt the colour drain from her face. She remembered that night. Richard had just learned that he was leading in yet another poll, that re-election might not prove to be that much of a problem. His wife had been away on Picon, so he had asked her to accompany him. Laura had known that people would whisper, had expected to read some juicy gossip about it in the newspapers, but she still had agreed when Richard had insisted. They had shared more dances than they should have, and when things had started to become too obvious, he had guided her outside into the gardens. He had kissed her as soon as they were out of sight, his hands winding under the straps of her gown. That was what the photographer had captured. Why it had never been published, Laura didn’t know. Maybe the poor guy or girl had tried to blackmail Richard only to learn that one didn’t gamble with the president.

“Madame Secretary?” Billy’s voice brought her back to the present. She smiled at the young man.

“What do you want me to say now? Yes, it’s true. But tell me, where did you find the photo?”

Billy looked really unhappy. “In the archives of the Colonial Press. We don’t even know who the photographer was.”

“It wasn’t what you hoped to find, was it?”

“No, ma’am.”

Laura closed her eyes for a moment, debating with herself the best approach to the situation. This could go several ways; the only question was which she liked best. Ironically, it was the thought of Bill that decided for her. She focused on Billy once more. “All right. This is what I want you to do.”

 

“Do you want me to stop?” Bill asked, clasping the book shut. Laura was pale, her fingers grasping the sheet under her hard, her knuckles white. It was only her third diloxin treatment, but by now, Bill knew when she’d feel worst.

“I’m sorry. I can’t concentrate today.”

He took her hand, slowly disentangling it from the sheets. It was ice cold, trembling slightly. “It’s okay. Just a little while longer and we’ll be done for the day.”

There were dark circles under Laura’s eyes, her mouth a thin line. It pained him to see her like this, especially when he knew that the following night would be even harder for her. He was a soldier, knew how to fight, used to be in action. To watch someone else fight for her life, to watch the woman he loved fight made him feel helpless. A nasty part of himself asked if he’d have still chosen to be with her if he had known what her illness would entail. The answer was an easy one, though. Yes, he would have. How could he ever let go of the only woman who took him for what he was, the good and the ugly?

“Bill?” Her voice brought him back from his musings. How long had he stared at their joined hands?

“Yes?”

“I have to tell you something.” Despite the diloxin that had her whole lithe form trembling by now, she looked determined.

“What is it? From the way you look, I’m not going to like it.”

“Well,” she sighed. “On Friday, the shit’s going to hit the fan.”

Bill watched her surprised, wary. Laura wasn’t one to swear often, but when she did, it was always for a good reason. “Care to elaborate?”

“You know about my affair with Richard, don’t you?”

Not something he liked to think about. “You told me about it, yes.”

“On Friday, there’ll be a photo of him and me kissing in the newspapers.”

“What? How do you know and is there nothing you can do about it?” He listened while she told him about her aide who’d found the incriminating photo. “But can’t he just forget that he saw it?”

“I’m sure he could, but I asked him to release it.”

“But why? It will make you look even worse.”

“It won’t. At least not by much. The article will insinuate that it was Richard who used his poor secretary all along.”

“I think I don’t understand. What about your job?”

Laura sighed, leaning back in her bed. “This isn’t something I’d usually do to anyone, but Richard has to learn that he can’t toy with people. Today, it’s me, but who’ll be next? Never mind that I’m not the first one either. This will be a severe blow for him, but he’ll survive.”

“Don’t evade me. What about your job?”

Her eyes opened, her gaze locking with him. “Next week, I’ll step down. It’s time to fully concentrate on surviving. If I do, I can go back to teaching at some point. If they want a former drug addict, that is,” she added wryly. “And if the cancer’s stronger than me, it doesn’t matter anyway.”

“Don’t talk that way.”

“Anyway, if I sell my apartment and rent something small, I’ll have enough money for treatment and living. No special attention for Madame Secretary any longer, but I think I can live with that.”

Bill was overwhelmed. He had hoped Laura would see sense at some point but hadn’t counted on it. “In all honesty, I’m glad about your decision. It’s for the best.”

“I think so, too. So, if you can endure some more bad press, my ill self will be all yours soon.”

“I’d like that, and you know it.” He voiced his next thoughts carefully and with hesitation. “About selling your apartment…”

“Don’t worry about that. The apartment is fully paid, but the running costs will be too much once I don’t have a regular income any longer. It won’t be a problem to sell it, people are keen on renting places in this part of the city, and I’ll just rent something small.”

“I’m not worrying about selling your apartment. But why don’t you move in with me? Sure, I’m far from being done with renovations, but there’s space enough for both of us. I had always hoped that it might be a home for the two of us at one point.” He had caught her by surprise if the widening of her eyes was any indication. She opened and closed her mouth two times. “Look, Laura, I know that we don’t know each other for many months or years, but I know that I want this to last. And it’s still early enough that we can build our dream house. Just give it a chance. If it doesn’t work out, you can still rent yourself a place somewhere.”

A slow smile spread on Laura’s face, and she hummed quietly. “I won’t say that this idea doesn’t scare me, but why not? Do you have any idea how long it is since I’ve lived with someone for the last time?”

“Can you beat twelve years?”

“Seventeen.”

“You lived with someone back then?”

“Yes, I did. We wanted to marry.”

“But you didn’t?”

“No.”

“What happened?”

“I guess it’s a classical story.” Her smile turned wistful. “One day, I came back home from work much earlier than I had expected. I thought I’d be home before Aaron and that I could cook us something nice. Turned out he had left work early, too. I found him in bed with my best friend. I’d always thought that such things only ever happened to some strange women they write about in the magazines. I was wrong.” Her smile faltered when a fresh wave of nausea seemed to hit her. She turned onto her side, one arm curled around herself, clutching her stomach. Bill saw some lost hair on her pillow but didn’t say anything to Laura. She had enough to bear.

“I’m sorry,” he said; sorry about her nausea, sorry about her story.

“That’s life. It isn’t fair.”

“Is this the reason you don’t have children?” he asked when the worst of the bout seemed to be over.

“Yes. Aaron and I wanted two, at least that was the plan. But when I saw him and Moira, I knew it was over. I left him the same evening, moving in with another friend for the time being. I needed time to come over it and then Richard made it his goal to comfort me. And one day, I woke up and knew it was too late.”

“Do you regret it?”

“I can’t say I really do. I would’ve liked children, but it seems it wasn’t meant to be and no regret will ever change a thing.”

Bill squeezed her hand. Laura would have made a wonderful mother. It was a shame that life had forsaken her this opportunity. “What about grandchildren then?”

“Grandchildren? And where should I take them from? Steal them?”

Bill shrugged, feeling uncomfortable with his own train of thought now. He had made so much leeway with Laura today, it wouldn’t do to want her to give more than she could. Where he was an all-or-nothing type, Laura was more cautious.

“Bill, talk to me.”

“It’s nothing. I was just thinking aloud.”

“Well, why not finish your thought?”

“I only thought that if Lee had children on his own and if we’re still together…” he trailed off.

“That’s a lovely idea, Bill.”

“Yeah.”

“But now let’s start with stepping back a bit.”

“Good idea. Do you want me to read some more?”

“No, I just want to lie here and concentrate on nothing.”

“Let’s do that.”

They both remained silent for the rest of the treatment, Bill never letting go of Laura’s hand.

 

He raised his hand but was hesitant to knock. That his mind told him that he was doing the right thing didn’t mean that his heart agreed. But he wasn’t one to back off from a decision made. He took a deep breath and knocked. It didn’t take long for the door to open.

Kara couldn’t have looked more surprised. “Commander! What…? Why?”

“Won’t you ask me in?”

“Certainly.” She let him pass her, and he made his way into her apartment, a chaotic place but strangely fitting the young woman. Bill didn’t sit down, though, feeling too uncomfortable in his current situation.

“Why are you here?” Kara finally asked when he just remained silent.

“I want to talk to you. About Zak.”

“What is there still to talk about? You made your position quite clear the last time we spoke, and nothing has changed since then.” She didn’t sound angry, simply defeated.

“That’s not quite true. Something has changed. I forgive you, Kara.”

Her rigid posture slumped a bit, tears rapidly filling her eyes. She tried to blink them away, but they were stronger than she. Without conscious thought, Bill moved forward, enfolding a trembling Kara in his arms.

“I’m sorry, sir. I would’ve never done anything to endanger Zak on purpose. Never. I loved him. I…” She had to stop when a sob wrenched free from her.

“I know, Kara. I won’t lie to you. I’m still not over it, but life’s too short, too fragile to hold any grudges.”

Kara slowly disentangled from him. “I loved Zak more than my life, and I’d die happily if I knew I could safe him.”

“I know. Just give an old man some time.”

A ghost of Kara’s trademark smirk appeared on her face. “You’re not old, sir.”

“If you don’t stop calling me sir, I might actually feel this way.”

“Commander?” Kara tried next.

“Try Bill.”

“Yes, sir. Uhm, sorry, Bill. Can I offer you something to drink?”

Bill asked for a tea, and soon, they were cradling hot mugs in their hands.

“So, is it really true?” Kara asked after a while.

“Is what true?”

“What they wrote in the newspaper. That you and the secretary of education…”

Was there no one who hadn’t read this stupid article? And what would happen when Laura would make headlines all over again? “Yes, it is.” Keep it short and simple. In his opinion, the best approach to get people off your back. Not Kara, though.

“I thought you didn’t like her.”

“What makes you think that?”

“Well, the way you looked at her at the decommission ceremony. She’d be dead by now if looks could really kill.”

“Things have changed. Obviously.”

“Yes, they have. I’m really happy for you. For the both of you.”

“Thank you.” Kara was sincere, and her obvious happiness for him warmed his heart. He longed so much to not feel anger, disappointment when looking at her. It would need time, though. Some wounds didn’t heal just like that. He took a sip of his tea. “May I ask you something?”

“Sure.” She sounded wary, but her gaze didn’t flinch.

“What is it between Lee and you?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

So she didn’t want to talk about it. He could respect that. As long as his visit got her thinking, he was content. “Then forget about it.” He watched silently how Kara battled with herself while numerous emotions flickered over her face, being curious which one would win out.

“Sir… Bill?”

“Yeah?”

“What made you come here today? Why did you decide to talk to me again? I didn’t think it would ever happen.”

She had no idea how complex this question was. “I…” he sighed. “I learned that life is short and that some things might be over way before you’re ready to let them go. And I learned that you sometimes have to let go of the past to move forward. You’re part of the family, Kara. We might not always agree, we might have our differences in the future again, but nothing will ever change that.”

Kara bit her lip that had started to tremble. “Thank you. Will I… will I get to meet the other part of the family, too?” she asked referring to Laura.

“I’ll invite you over to lunch at some time. But now, I have to go. I still need to buy some paint before the shop closes.” He got up at the same time Starbuck did. They shared a tentative smile.

Things might still not be like they were, but a beginning was made.

“Before you go… well, please believe me that I don’t want to hurt Lee. I really… like him. I’ll do my damnedest to not hurt him.”

“I believe you.”

Bill left with a lighter heart.

 

The telephone wouldn’t stop ringing. Laura was the star of the day even when she clearly didn’t want to be. How would Richard deal with it? She could imagine him pacing his office. He hadn’t known what had hit him, and to add to the fun, he had a wife who surely was less than amused. Well, it couldn’t hurt to remind herself of the positive effects of her demise as secretary education. She ignored all calls, letting her secretary deal with it. When it was time for lunch and the offices were mostly deserted, she sneaked out nearly unseen, telling her secretary she’d be going home because of a headache. She’d resign next week, which would be early enough. Let people wonder how she’d react to the latest scandal.

As they had agreed upon before, Billy was waiting for her in the underground garage. They slipped out of the back entrance almost unnoticed. When they rounded the building, she could spot the flock of reporters, waiting for Richard or her, for anything to feed their hungry souls. It shouldn’t be her problem.

Billy hardly spoke at all during the whole ride, visibly shaken by the whole affair. She felt sorry for him. Still, it was a good lesson about the nature of politics. If he wanted to survive, he’d have to learn to shrug it off.

He let her out in the underground garage of her own apartment building, because here, too, they were waiting for her.

“Thank you, Billy.”

He spared a reply, but his eyes told her everything she needed to know.

 

Bill was waiting for her in her apartment, just as he had said he would. He had prepared some tea and guided her to the couch where he had her lie down, her head in his lap. They stayed like this for an infinite amount of time, hardly speaking, both lost in their own thoughts.

Laura hadn’t thought it possible to enjoy being silent with someone that much; she had been wrong.

“I spoke with Kara yesterday,” Bill said after a while.

“That’s good. At least, I hope it is.”

“It is. I’m still not over her confession, but I want her in my life. She’s like the daughter I always wanted to have.”

“I think you did the right thing, Bill.”

“Me, too. She wants to meet you, by the way.”

Laura shifted slight so that she could look at Bill. “She knows about us?”

He smiled amused. “She’s seen the article from last week.”

“Oh, I had forgotten about it for a moment. What did you tell her?”

“That I’ll invite her for lunch sometime. If that’s okay with you, and only if you feel up to it.”

“I’d like that. That is if she wants to come now that the former weed smoking teacher is known to have had an affair with the president.”

Bill chuckled. “You don’t know Starbuck. She might have wanted to meet you before, but now, she’ll be burning with curiosity.”

“Awesome. That’s not who I really am.”

“It isn’t?” He was teasing her, and she rolled her eyes at him.

“That’s not all of me anyway.”

“So you don’t like smoking weed?”

“Bill Adama, what are you getting at?”

“Well, do you like it or not?”

“If you have to know, yes, I do, but it’s been ages since I indulged for the last time. What about you, though?” If there was one thing she couldn’t see this correct-to-the-bone man doing, it was smoking weed.

“I like it quite fine, but just like you, it’s been a long time since I came around to do it.”

Now, she was intrigued. He liked smoking weed? It was… hilarious, but it also gave way to some interesting possibilities. She should really stop underestimating him. “So when was the last time you did it?”

“Back on Galactica, about three weeks after Zak’s death. I was angry, and all I wanted was to forget if only for a few short hours.”

Her heart clenched at the profound sadness in his voice. It had been hard to lose her mother to cancer, but how it must feel to lose your child, she had no idea. It was against nature, really. Parents weren’t meant to outlive their children.

“Did it work?”

“No, it didn’t. Maybe it would have, but I had just lit the blunt when Saul came over for something I can’t even remember. He sniffed the air, raised his eyebrows but didn’t say a thing. But Saul’s not into smoking at all. He decided another venture might be better and got out some rot gut from only the Gods know where. We got stiff drunk, and the next day, I thought the hangover would kill me.”

“Since when is getting drunk better than some good weed?”

“Never, but that’s not something that Saul will ever understand. When was your last time?”

“Smoking weed? It was after the last election night. I was a mess. You know yourself that Richard almost didn’t make it. Not that I really cared, but I had to pay for my apartment for one year longer. I needed the pay check my position offered me. I know this sounds awfully materialistic, but it was around the time when I tried to break up with Richard for the first time. I wasn’t exactly happy. So when everything was over, I retreated here and just let myself drift away.” She omitted the fact that Richard had stopped by later that night and that they had frakked on the same couch she was laying on now after some heated argument. Bill had been wonderfully understanding so far, but she could feel that he had his limits. If things were reversed, she wouldn’t want to hear about his past adventures either.

“Did it work for you?”

“Yes, it did.”

“I should keep it in mind then.”

“What?”

“That you like to smoke illegal, recreational substances when times are rough.”

“Are you suggesting we should smoke weed together at some point?”

“Why not?”

“Indeed. Why not.”

Their conversation came to a halt again, and they both continued with their daydreaming, at least that was what Laura was doing, suspecting Bill did the same.

The afternoon turned into evening. They shared dinner although Laura wasn’t particularly hungry. She never was these days.

They were still cleaning up when her doorbell ran.

“I can take it,” Bill, who was drying the dishes, said.

Laura nodded her consent, taking the towel from him to dry her hands.

The security guards wouldn’t have let a reporter in, would they? Although reporters were known for finding any loophole. She listened when Bill opened the door.

“Yes?”

There was silence that lasted several uncomfortable seconds.

“Is Laura in?”

Frak! It was Richard. How had he managed to get in here, and how had he ditched his security detail? A president shouldn’t run around lose. Never mind that Laura should know better than anyone else how adept Richard was when it came to sneaking away.

“Wait here. I’ll ask her if she want to talk to you.” Bill’s tone was ice cold. She had never heard him like that, not even the first time she’d met him on Galactica.

“I don’t think this is how it works,” Richard replied equally cool.

Before things could escalate, Laura entered her living room, hands on her hips. “What do you want?” she asked Richard, stepping in front of Bill.

Richard’s whole body was tense, fury blasting in his eyes. “What were you thinking, Laura? How could you? It was your wonderful idea to drag up this photo, wasn’t it?”

“No, I didn’t know it existed. Someone of my staff found it. This person wanted to do some damage control and found this gem. I really had no idea it existed.”

“But you wanted it in the newspaper, didn’t you?” he snarled. “You could only think about yourself, not about the colonies and what it means to them.”

“What it means to them?” The laughter bubbling out of Laura was real. “The colonies will give a flying frak. There’ll be some talk, you lost your halo, but that will be it. You’re the president, make people concentrate on work instead of gossip. If you’re worth your money, you should be able to do that. Never mind that my good name suffered twice now.”

To his credit, Bill didn’t try to come between the two of them. The only proof of him being there were his fingers that touched her lightly at the small of her back. He couldn’t know it, but it consoled her, helped her staying grounded and not to give in to her anger.

“Your good name? You’re just a lowly secretary. You should take a rain check, missy. Let me repeat, you’re only a secretary and, for a few years, you were the president’s cheap whore. It doesn’t qualify you…”

She made two steps forward, her fist connecting with his face so fast that he had no chance to move out of harm’s way. The sound of his nose breaking was sickening, as was the flood of blood that was forthcoming, but Laura didn’t care. Richard’s hands flew up to his nose as if it could stop the bleeding, and he let out a tiny whimper.

“You better go now,” Laura said, her voice unwavering. “And if you tell anyone it was me smashing your nose, I’ll have a nice chat with your wife. I told you I’d keep your secrets safe, and I will, but only if you remain silent. You know what I mean, right? You remember the story about sleeping with your wife’s friends while you were still wooing her, don’t you?”

“You…” He didn’t get the chance to finish the sentence, because Bill grabbed his arm, almost dragging him through the door. A minute later, he was gone.

Laura had to sit down as shock began to set in. She buried her head in her hands. Bill sat down beside her, one arm around her shoulders.

“Do you think he’ll file a report?” she wondered. There had been a time when she had been able to predict what Richard was up to, but that time was long since over.

“And explain that his slender secretary of education broke his nose because he called her a cheap whore? I wouldn’t worry about that. It’ll be hard enough to explain this to the reporters anyway. And you really scared him.”

“Don’t humour me.”

“I don’t. I’m a soldier, Laura, and I know what a frightened man looks like. Adar had this look when I saw him out.”

“Good.” Despite everything, Laura would always react again as she had.

“And if I may say so,” Bill added, “you’ve got quite the right hook.”

“So you better be nice to me, huh?”

“I’ll try.”

They went to bed soon afterwards, and Laura was too exhausted to contemplate anything but sleep.

 

Like he had predicted, they didn’t hear anything about Laura breaking the president’s nose, although it was funny to read through the speculations in the newspapers, because Adar refused to comment on that at all. He had a hard time enough to convince people that he was still trustworthy even if he had cheated on his wife for years. Once the first photo had been posted, a lot of people piped up with further evidence of Adar’s and Laura’s infidelity. Some of the evidence was real, some was faked as Laura told him.

Laura wondered about Adar not having tried for further revenge, but Bill thought it had something to do with the fact that Laura had resigned. There had been an outcry of surprise, and even more reporters had tried to get hold of her, but eventually, their interest had dwindled.

Now, three weeks later, Laura was finally living with him, first potential buyers coming to see her apartment.

Laura herself wasn’t well, the treatment taking more from her each time. She was too thin by now, despite his best efforts to cook her nourishing meals on the days she could actually keep them down. Today, she had left early, stating she wanted to look for new clothes, something that would actually fit her and not look two sizes too big. He had wanted to accompany her, but she wanted to hear none of it. There had been such sadness in her eyes, it had pained him, but in the end, he could do nothing apart from letting her know that he’d be there for her.

It was some time after lunch, he was just finishing assembling some shelf units, when the front door opened, Laura carried several bags, offering him a tentative smile.

“Have you been successful?”

“Yes, I have.”

He watched her taking a deep breath before she deposited her bags on the couch. Something in the way she looked at him made him uneasy.

“Bill, can you do something for me? I fear that if I don’t do it now, I’ll lose my nerves.”

“What is it?” His fist tightened around the screwdriver he still held, watching with growing dread how Laura tried to regain her composure.

“I want you to shave off my hair. I got my wig today and bought several headscarves. It’s… it’s time.”

He didn’t close his eyes, he didn’t blink, he didn’t give in to the tears that threatened to be forthcoming, but he couldn’t speak either. He knew that Laura was right, had seen her hair thinning out, had seen her despair about each new lock she lost. They couldn’t deny the inevitable any longer, he knew it well, still it hurt. He loved Laura’s bright hair, her unruly locks. To picture her bold… it was something he just couldn’t wrap his mind around. She had asked him for help, though, help with something that had to be tearing her heart out. How could he refuse her?

“Do you want to do it right now?” He was surprised at how steady his voice was.

She nodded.

“Come on to the bathroom then.”

The whole scene felt surreal, as if he was dreaming, although he knew it was everything but a dream.

He asked Laura to take off her blouse while he went to retrieve a pair of scissors. When he came back, she stood facing the mirror, a towel around her neck, her fingers grasping the sink as if it was a lifeline.

Their eyes met in the mirror, and they both shared a moment of silent sadness before Bill went about business. What good was in hesitating? It wouldn’t make things easier but harder for both of them. He took up the scissors, cutting lock after lock of her glorious hair, his heart bleeding with each of them. He didn’t speak, and neither did she. She started to cry at some point without any noise, her body stock still, her watery eyes and the wet trails along her cheek the only indication. It made him sad, it made him angry. He should call Saul later on, meeting with him in the gym. The need to punch something, to exert himself until he was spent, numb, was nearly overwhelming.

When he was done with the scissors, only some sad wisps of hair were left, and he took up the electrical razor. It was short work. In less than three minutes, there was only a hint of hair left. That wasn’t Laura anymore. She looked so alien. What did the frakking cancer do to her? He would never love her less, no matter how she looked, but this was insane. Wasn’t it enough for the cancer to spread on her inside? Did it have to rob her of some part of her beauty, too? Yes, she was still beautiful; to him, she would always be, but would she believe him? Frakking cancer. Frakking diloxin.

In a last step, he lathered her scalp until it was covered with a generous amount of foam before he shaved her head as gentle as he could. Mercifully, it was over quickly.

“Bend forward,” he told her. She did as he had asked, and Bill let water run over her exposed scalp.

She yelped because of the new sensitivity of her skin, but said ‘no’ when he asked her if the water was too hot.

When he was done, Bill helped her dry herself before he turned Laura to him. He held her at arm’s length, his eyes searching hers. He held her gaze. “Laura, you’re beautiful. With or without hair. Never doubt that. I love you.”

More tears spilled from her eyes, and he, too, couldn’t hold them back any longer. Laura took a step forward. Enfolded in his arms, she buried her face in the crook of his neck. They stood like this for a long time. Bill let his hands run along her bare back, her buttocks, before they went upward again. He lingered at her neck, drawing circles with his fingertips on the sensitive skin. All the while, he mumbled sweet nothings into her ear. Only when she gradually relaxed, he let his fingers trail up her scalp with feathery touches. First, she stiffened, but then she started to giggle. He was surprised, and so was she which became apparent when she withdrew from him, looking at him with wide eyes.

“That tickled,” she said with a voice hoarse from the tears she had spilled.

“Good to know,” he allowed himself to tease her, hoping it wasn’t too much too soon. The look in her eyes became indignant, the Laura he had gotten to know first and fallen in love with slowly reappearing.

“Don’t you dare.”

He closed the distance between them. “We’ll see, Miss Roslin. We’ll see.” He couldn’t help himself, he had to kiss her now. Their mouths connecting, he could taste the bitterness of her tears as she would be able to taste his. But where’s life, there’s always hope. He refused to give up hope, refused to give up on her. They would beat the cancer. He was sure of it.

TBC


	12. Chapter 12

Bill didn’t like the wig, although Laura seemed to favour it over her headscarves. It looked almost like her real hair, but that was the crux of the matter. It wasn’t quite the same colour, quite the same cut, quite the same locks. It didn’t shimmer fiercely in the sunlight like Laura’s hair had done. It would always only be a sad replacement for the real thing. At the end of the day, Laura’s hair would still be gone, the wig only covering the truth in form of a bald head. He didn’t speak to Laura about his dislike for the false hair, although he was sure she knew it anyway. What surprised him time and again was that he liked seeing Laura with a headscarf. The simple cloths accentuated Laura’s lovely features, her large bright eyes, a delicate nose, sensuous lips. They suited her.

“Are you done staring?” Laura brought him back to reality. She wasn’t even looking at him, concentrating on the chessboard in front of her.

“I’m not staring.”

“Yes, you are.” Laura placed her move, and Bill’s concentration went to the board. If he wanted to win this game, he better started to pay attention. It was one of Laura’s good days, a Friday. They were usually her best days. The worst of the diloxin had worn off, radiation therapy only due on Saturday.

They had still another two months of therapy ahead of them. Bill was happy that it would be over then. Well, either over or they’d have a month long break.

The foot trailing up his leg distracted him. So Laura was in a playful mood. A short glance upward confirmed his suspicion. She had opened the belt of the robe she’d put on after her shower. He was treated with a look at her blue satin gown with a nice cleavage. She was smiling innocently which meant he was in trouble – deep trouble. His interest in the game waned quickly when Laura’s foot reached his crotch, massaging him through his trousers. There was no chance that he’d win this game if she kept that up. He knew it, she knew it. But what she didn’t know was that he’d call her up on it. There wouldn’t be a winner of this game of chess, at least not tonight.

“I hope you’re ready to deliver what you’re hinting at, Roslin.”

Innocent, too innocent, she looked at him. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.” The pressure on his member lessened only to be replaced by a circling motion with her toes. “We’re just having a friendly game of chess here.” She smiled.

“Of course.” He got up in one swift motion. He rounded the table with two steps; grabbing her arms, he lifted her up. “I guess we’re still playing, but the game has changed.”

“Is that so?” Her eyes danced with mirth. Too seldom was she that relaxed, and he’d do his damnedest to keep it that way.

“It is. And now get your ass into our rack.”

She just laughed. “It’s called bed here on Caprica. But I will. You, though,” she pointed a finger at him, “are in need of a shower. Then you can join me.”

Bill had to admit that she had a point. He had worked on the wooden floor in their bedroom and didn’t have time for a shower so far. The urge to just lift Laura up, to carry her to their bed was strong, but he had the ten minutes it would take to shower. “You’re a tease.”

“And you waste precious time.”

“I expect you to be in bed when I’m back.”

“Yes, sir.”

He turned before he allowed himself to smile.

 

It was too much fun to rattle Bill’s chains. She hadn’t expected him to abandon the game, but the change of plans wasn’t unwelcome. Not at all.

He had disappeared into the bathroom, and she heard the water running. Time enough to tidy up herself a bit.

She shed her robe which left her only in the shortest of her gowns with a sinful amount of cleavage showing.

It knocked at the door. Who could that be? At 9 p.m., totally unexpected. Bill was in the shower. Ah well. Without thinking about it any further, she walked to open the door. In front of it stood a young man in his early thirties, his hand raised to knock again. At the look of her, his mouth fell open and his eyes to her legs, her bosom, to finally settle on her face. He swallowed. She blushed. He wanted to speak, but nothing was forthcoming, his mouth opened and closed. Almost against his will, it seemed, his eyes wandered back to her legs.

So he was a legs man, Laura thought distracted. But this was ridiculous. “Yes, please?” she asked him.

“I’m sorry. I… it must be the wrong house. Sorry, ma’am.” He smiled at her, a pained smile, before turning around, fleeing.

Laura was sure she had seen him before, but where? She closed the door, leaning back against it. By the Gods, who was this? It came to her some seconds later. Of course. This had to be Bill’s son, Lee. She’d seen him on pictures. No wonder he had looked stunned. He had never seen his father’s house, hadn’t met her. Although he had been on Galactica for the decommission ceremony, their paths hadn’t crossed. She might or might not be wrong that this was indeed Lee Adama. Only one way to find out. Opening the door, she spotted his form in the distance.

“Lee Adama?” she called out loud enough for the neighbour who walked his dog to eye her curiously.

The young man turned.

“Lee Adama?” she called again, waving him over.

He walked back towards her, hesitant at first, but then with a steady pace. He was back in front of the door within the minute.

“Come in,” she said, moving aside so that he could pass her. “I don’t bite and promise to explain everything when you’re inside.”

He seemed unsure about her intention, but did as she asked.

Laura could still hear the water of the shower running. Fantastic. So it was up to her to explain to Lee that his father had moved in with a dying woman he had never met, a woman who just wore a flimsy gown. She quickly put on her robe again. All she hoped was that Bill didn’t decide to speed up thing and leave the bathroom naked. He wasn’t in the habit of doing it, but one never knew.

“You’re looking for Bill Adama?” she asked Lee who watched her curiously.

“Yes, I do.”

“Then you’re at the right house. My name is Laura Roslin, and your father is in the shower.” She offered Lee her hand which he took. This felt too awkward.

“I… I don’t think I quite understand.”

“I wouldn’t either if I were you. Can I offer you something to drink? Water? Tea?”

“A cup of tea would be nice, ma’am.”

“Don’t call me ma’am, please. It makes me feel old. Why don’t you sit down, and I’ll fetch the tea.”

He took a seat at the table which still housed the chess game.

When she returned with two cups of tea, he was studying the game.

“Do you play chess?” She handed him one of the cups.

“Yes, I do. Who was winning?”

“I think it might have been me.” She smiled, and Lee smiled back. It made him look young, nearly boyish. It was not like she had pictured a viper pilot. “I think I owe you an explanation.”

“Well, I have to say I’m a bit surprised.”

“I understand, but while you were away from Caprica, some things happened.”

“Are you the Laura Roslin from the newspapers?”

She winced. “You read the newspapers?”

“We get the news over the wireless.”

“Fantastic.”

“So you are?”

“Yes, I am. But I hope you know that newspapers like to exaggerate.”

“I suspected as much,” he grinned.

“Anyway, your father and I got to know each other better since Galactica’s decommissioning. Things… developed, and some weeks ago, we moved in together. And if you’re wondering about my unusual looks, I have cancer.”

“I’m sorry, ma’am.”

“Not ma’am, please. I really don’t like it. My name’s Laura.”

“Lee.”

“So, Lee, this was a lot of information at once. Do you have any questions?”

“Actually, I…”

The bathroom door opened. Bill emerged in his favourite maroon robe. “With whom are you talking?” His eyes widened when he spotted his son. “Lee?”

“Dad.”

The two men eyed each other.

“By the love of the Gods, don’t stand rooted to the spot.” Her exclamation got Bill to move. He embraced his son before stepping back again.

“I hadn’t expected you.”

“I would’ve called, but I don’t have your new number.”

“That’s right. I’ll give you the new one tonight. I’m glad to see you.” Bill looked from Lee to Laura and back. “So you already met Laura.”

“She called after me when I was convinced I was at the wrong house. Kara gave me the address, but she should’ve told me that you don’t have a name plate.”

“Kara wasn’t over yet. I wanted to invite the both of you once you were back.”

Laura wondered if Lee knew about Zak’s flight test, but knew it wasn’t the time to broach the subject.

“We could always do that within the next weeks if that’s alright with you and Laura.”

“I’d love that,” Laura chimed in. “But how was your trip? Your father told me that you’re on board the Pegasus.”

Lee started a detailed report about his life on the huge battlestar. Laura was less listening than watching father and son interact. They were different in their looks. Lee had neither inherited his father’s dark skin nor his bulky stature, but both had the same piercing blue eyes. They also had the same compelling way of storytelling, but where Lee spoke freely, it wasn’t always easy to get Bill to voice his thoughts. One thing was clear though, Lee and she would get along. She couldn’t help but like the young, intelligent, soft spoken man, and if the way he included her in the conversation, the way he smiled at her every so often were any indication, her feeling wasn’t one-sided.

“So when will you go back?” Bill asked when Lee had finished.

“I don’t know.” He looked down before facing his father, his jaw set. The universal look of a son who wanted to broach a subject the father wouldn’t approve of.

“Does anyone want more tea?” Laura asked before she got up to give the two men their privacy.

Lee looked at her knowingly. “You don’t need to go.” He faced Bill again. “I don’t think I’ll pursue this path of career further. It’s not the right thing for me to do. I’m a good pilot, but it doesn’t fulfil me. I’m not interested in taking on command either. The fleet offered to take me in a programme for training lawyers. Or better said they pay you to go back to university if you’ll stay within the fleet afterwards for at least ten years.”

“A lawyer like your grandfather?”

Lee turned to her. “Yes, that’s what I want to do. I like law, I want to fight for the right course.”

It was a naïve view, he would find that out sooner or later, but he seemed to have the drive a lawyer needed. She could see him studying law and being good at it.

Bill was silent, contemplating his son. “You’re old enough to make your own decisions. If that’s what you really want… you don’t need my approval.”

“It would be nice to have it, though. You always wanted your sons to become pilots, to keep up the tradition you started.”

Bill shook his head. “I might have wanted that in the past. Things changed. It’s not important. The only thing that counts is that you’re content with what you do. If you think being a lawyer will give you this satisfaction, then do it.”

To say Lee looked relieved would have been an understatement. “Thanks, dad.”

Bill simply nodded.

“You know,” Laura said to Lee. “I have a friend who is a lawyer. I can imagine you have a lot of questions, and he might be able to answer a few.”

“That would be wonderful. Thank you.”

“You’re welcome. What about tea now?”

Both Bill and Lee wanted some so she went to the kitchen. Laura wouldn’t have minded if Bill shared something stronger with his son, but apart of the few times he met with Saul, he hesitated, drinking tea with her who didn’t want to mix alcohol with her medication.

It was late when Lee left, but only after he promised to be back with Kara soon.

 

Bill spooned Laura from behind. He loved the moments before falling asleep. It was when he felt at peace, content, glad to have Laura in his life. It had been a good day, and it would be a good night. Tomorrow night, he would watch Laura toss and turn in bed before she wouldn’t be able to stand it any longer. She would be nauseated, sweaty, trembling, and there wasn’t much Bill could do about it. But this was tomorrow. He wouldn’t think about it now.

He hadn’t thought he’d love again, yet here he was. No matter what it would cost him, he’d be with Laura along her way.

“You’re thinking again,” she mumbled.

“Yes, I am. About how lucky I am to have you in my life.”

“You’re deluded, Bill.”

His hand curled at her waist. “Don’t talk nonsense.”

“Well, if you think so, who am I to disagree? By the way, I really like Lee.”

“He’s a good man.”

“I think so, too. You can be proud of him.”

“I am.”

“So, he and Kara?”

“Maybe. Some people would say they’re misfit, but I don’t think so.”

“Some people might say the same about us.”

“And they would be wrong.”

“That they would.”

He stroked her hipbone. Too thin. If she survived this, Bill swore he would feed her, would help her to look like a goddess again, not only with flaming hair but with luscious curves.

“I was surprised that Lee didn’t seem to mind that we live together. Sometimes he’s hard to read.”

“I know what you mean. It’s often not easy to see your parents with a new partner, even if you’re already an adult. I had many a friend when I was younger who had trouble accepting their parents’ new partner. I won’t lie, I’m relieved that Lee seems to accept us, but maybe you shouldn’t underestimate your son. And he you, for that matter. He looked as if he had expected you to have his head for his future plans.”

Bill had noticed it, too, and it had pained him. “I always dreamed of a son following my footsteps, but that both would… I lost one son to flying, I don’t want to lose the other one, too. It’s not worth it. I had thought it was something they wanted for themselves, but obviously, I had been wrong. I never wanted them to do something only to win my affection. I thought they knew they had it no matter what. I should’ve known that I’d been wrong.”

It was one of Bill’s keenest regrets. If Zak hadn’t chosen to become a pilot, he could still be alive. Bill didn’t believe in fate, in the nonsense that said a person’s time had simply been up. Yet, he believed that if Zak had opted for a different career, he’d be with them today. And Lee? His eldest had everything a good pilot needed, a keen intellect, fast reflexes and the feeling for his viper. Bill had seen him in action, it was a pity that it wasn’t what he really wanted to do. If the heart wasn’t in it, though, it wasn’t worth it. If a father’s wish dictated a son’s career choice, Bill would be a lawyer today, or his father would have been a carpenter, but that wasn’t how it worked.

Laura turned in his embrace, kissing him lightly. “Bill, we can’t change the past. Learning from your mistakes, okay; but don’t let regret gnaw on you. Hindsight is twenty-twenty. If I could’ve seen the future, I would’ve never started an affair with Richard. Maybe I’d have met a nice man. I could be married, have children of my own. And I would’ve definitely taken care of my cancer in time. But what good are could-haves and would-haves? We would’ve never met, at least not in the same way we did.”

They both knew that she was right, but the ancient battle of heart versus head was one that most people would never win.

“Are you sorry that you’ve never married?”

“I’d liked to when I was younger. A romantic and foolish notion. A wedding band doesn’t define a relationship.”

“I’m not all that sorry that the other men were plain stupid.”

She chuckled. “Don’t be ridiculous. But let’s sleep now. I’m tired.” She accentuated her statement with a yawn. “Good night, Bill.”

“Night, Laura.”

He lay awake for several hours, listening to Laura’s even breathing, thinking about his past, his present and what he wished for the future.

It was the worst bout of after-effects yet. She had to throw up as soon as they were inside the house, and they spent the better part of an hour kneeling on the bathroom tiles. Even an empty stomach couldn’t stop Laura’s body from trying to dispel what it didn’t have.

All Bill could do was to hold her in between bouts, soothe her as well as possible. When it was clear that there was nothing more coming, he helped her into the shower.

It was a brief affair. Afterwards, Bill lifted her up, carrying her into their bedroom. He covered her with enough blankets to keep her shivering form warm, although he knew she’d wake up way too warm sometime during the night. Now and then, she moaned quietly from the liquid cold fire that was still scorching her veins. He read to her for hours, not even stopping when she was long asleep. She slept calmer as long as he kept it up. The tossing and turning would only start when he stopped.

They were both exhausted the next morning, and Bill made Laura promise to stay in bed while he ran some errands. Laura was a proud woman, she hated to rely on him, he knew it well, but they both also knew that she might have long since abandoned treatment if it wasn’t for their relationship.

It took Bill longer than he had expected to get everything he wanted. It was early afternoon when he opened the door and was greeted by the sound of voices. He found Laura, pale but completely dressed with wig in place, nibbling on some fruit. She always tried to keep in as much as possible, staring with eating bits and pieces of this or that as soon as the worst was over. With her was a tall man of approximately Laura’s age. Laura introduced him as Wallace Gray, the lawyer friend she had mentioned about two weeks back. Gray was a quiet but cultivated man; Bill found him pleasant company.

They talked for nearly an hour more before Gray took his leave, promising to get in contact with Lee.

“You two like each other, don’t you?”

Laura had just disposed her wig and was tying the knot of one of her headscarves. “Wally is like the brother I never had. He is really too good to dally in politics, but it doesn’t stop him trying to fight for what is best for the people. More often than not, he doesn’t succeed, but he’s still trying.”

“This could be Lee.”

“Yes, it could. That’s why I suggested they talk to each other in the first place.”

“How are you, Laura?”

She smiled, not fooling him the least. “I’ve been better.”

“I want to try something.”

She looked suspiciously. “Bill Adama, do I even want to know what you’re talking about?”

“I’d say yes, but if you aren’t even sure you want to know about it…”

“Try me.”

He took up the small bag he had deposited in the kitchen earlier, waving Laura over to have a look. Her eyes widened when she saw what he had bought, a laugh escaping her. She had to grip the kitchen counter when her equilibrium began to falter, but her eyes were still locked with his.

“You got us something to smoke?”

“I’ve read somewhere that it can help to reduce the side effects of cancer treatment.”

“So it’s for medical purposes?”

“Of course.”

“You won’t smoke then?”

“You better bet I will. I can’t give you something I didn’t test before.”

“If we both get ill, though?” she teased him.

“Then I call Saul or Kara to help us getting our stoned asses into bed.”

“You thought this through, didn’t you?”

“Of course, I did.”

“Always the tactician.”

“Always.”

She loosened her hold on the kitchen counter. “I’ll take the ashtray, you bring the stuff.”

She slowly made her way toward the living room. Damned nausea. She was in her early fifties, not in her nineties. Still, putting one foot in front of the other could prove quite the challenge nowadays.

Their living room still looked chaotic, even when Bill had moved in months ago. The floor was done, as were the walls, Bill’s new project being the ceiling. Not to forget that he had started to build bookshelves. He loved working with his hands, and Laura would never take this simple joy from him. The result were hundreds of books piling on the ground. All that she could hope for now was that it was true that good things came to those who waited. The chaos made her mad, but she kept silent about it.

On the couch, she wrapped herself in a blanket and leaned back.

Bill had already gone and bought them weed. The oh-so correct commander really liked to relax from time to time. The thought made Laura giggle in midst of her diloxin induced misery.

“What’s so funny?” Bill asked, handing her an already lit cigarette.

“You are. I mean we talked about it, but I really hadn’t pegged you for the type consuming weed.” She took a deep drag, keeping the smoke in until her lungs burned. It would accelerate the process of getting high. It was a feeling she wanted to achieve more than anything else now.

“Greedy, huh?” Bill flopped down besides her, sitting with his legs slightly apart, one of his hands coming to rest at waist level, the other held his precious cigarette.

“You have no idea.” She looked at him.

He grinned at her, showing his crooked teeth. It was an expression he seldom showed, one she loved. It made him look quite a few years younger.

It happened faster than she had expected. Thanks to her weakened state and almost empty stomach, the drug entered her bloodstream without much hindrance. The nausea lessened, and she felt lighter, both in body and spirit. Calm settled over her. She loved this side effect of getting high. When they had smoked weed in college, most of her friends had gotten the giggles, other nearly fell asleep with a burning blunt in hand. Not she, though. Weed made her calm, gave her a peace her overactive mind wouldn’t grant her otherwise. Bill seemed to feel similarly.

Sharing glances once in a while, they smoked in silence, letting the sensations wash over them.

“Better? At least a bit?” Bill asked when he put out the stump in the ashtray.

“Much. I could get used to this.”

“The prim and proper Miss Roslin.”

“If I didn’t feel that mellow, I’d give you prim and proper.”

“Really?”

“You bet.”

“So what would you do?” Amusement tinged his voice.

“Well, the way you sit right now would be ideal to kneel down between your legs and give you the blowjob of her life.”

Bill’s head turned to her, surprise written all over his face. “Actually, I’d like that.”

“Don’t you always?”

“You know I do. But you just talked about the blowjob of my life. What would be the difference to all the other ones?”

“That I wouldn’t let you come for a long, long time. I’d bring you to the edge again and again only to stop a bare second before you’d go over.”

“You think you can do that?”

“Remember the last time? I know that you were about to come twice. But for your information, once I brought a man to the edge eight times, and yes, I counted. By the end of it, he was sweaty and clutching at the sheets underneath him.”

“You’re kidding me.”

“I assure you, I’m not. All you have to do is to pay attention to not lose yourself in the act. There’s a point when all muscles in the body tighten, especially in the thighs, that’s when you have to stop.”

“Sounds like a good theory.”

“It is. Wanna try it some time?”

“Sure. I don’t want people to say that I stand in the way of scientific experiments.”

They laughed, not a sound of mirth but complete relaxation.

“You know,” Bill said after a while, “in contrast to you, I’m just stoned but don’t have to battle nausea.”

Laura sighed. “Thanks for the reminder. I knew there was a reason I don’t want to move.”

He reached out, his hand coming to rest on her right thigh. “I just wondered if you’d like to feel even more relaxed.”

“You don’t expect me to say no to this, do you? What are you offering, a backrub?” She would love it. There was hardly anything as soothing as Bill’s backrubs. He knew the spots that bothered her most, massaging the tension out of her with strong, sure hands.

“Something like that,” Bill answered. His hand left her thigh, and she sighed at the instant loss of warmth even when she still was covered with a blanket. It got worse when Bill pulled the blanket from her. She moaned in protest, tried to hold on, but Bill shook his head no. “Trust me.” Getting up, he kneeled in front of her. A look into his eyes confirmed what he was up to. Laura approved. Yes, she’d like that very much. If her thinking wasn’t so slow she’d have gotten his innuendo earlier.

“Close your eyes. Relax. Let me take care of the rest.” His voice rumbled in his chest.

She did as he asked, goose bumps rising on her legs when he removed her sweatpants and panties, cold air hitting her naked legs. Gently, he spread her legs. With her ice cold feet, Laura was happy about his leaving her socks on. Usually, she detested socks, anything on her feet really, but it was just another thing diloxin made her do.

Bill kissed his way up one leg and down the other, butterfly kisses that tickled thanks to a day’s worth of stubble. She didn’t even think of repressing the soft hums escaping her, she knew Bill loved them. When he reached the juncture of her legs, he lifted first one, then the other leg so that they came to rest on his shoulders.

“Relax,” he said again.

She expected to feel the hot air of his breath on her skin, the delightful sensation of his tongue running along her labia. Instead, it was his index finger trailing over her mound. It was just a light touch, barely there, but her body trembled in response. He took his time, stroking her repeatedly. She wasn’t sure, but she thought she heard him murmur ‘so soft’. If there was one thing Bill was, it was thorough, sometimes frustratingly so. Finally, his finger moved on, tracing the outline of her labia. That was more like it. Despite him telling her to relax, her muscles tensed up in anticipation. A relieved sigh escaped her when his thumbs spread her nether lips, his tongue making the briefest of contacts with her clitoris, moving down, tasting the wetness he found. He sampled her taste, he always did.

His groans met her moans.

“Bill, please.” Not that she had any idea what it was she asked for. The comforting buzz of the smoke combined with Bill’s less than comforting actions had long since stolen any coherent thought from her. She lived for the sensations. The sensations were her life, at least for the moment.

Bill couldn’t be hurried. He licked her with long sure strokes, circling her entrance now and then. It was heaven. It wasn’t enough. Soon, she felt aroused beyond reason, but the cliff she wanted to reach, the edge she wanted to jump over wasn’t near, not at all.

“Bill,” she tried to urge him on again.

He looked at her, their gazes met. He didn’t look smug as she had expected, only like a man who was enjoying himself.

“Please,” she tried once more.

He smiled before he eased a finger into her.

She arched her back, her eyes fell shut on their own accord. The caresses of his tongue, too light to bring any satisfaction, formed a counter rhythm to his finger that worked her in a steady rhythm. She floated, drifted, reality seemed to be light-years away.

She had always enjoyed sex, but it had been ages since she had lost herself in the act. Truth to be told, it had been ages since she had had a lover who really cared, since she had cared for her lover. It was so easy to forget her worries with Bill. She loved him, hoped what she could offer would prove to be enough for him.

Even these fleeting thoughts were forgotten when a second finger joined the first. Finally enough friction to do more than tease. He glided in and out of her for a few times, then his tongue skimmed her clitoris. One time, two times, he circled the swollen nub, latched onto it. She couldn’t keep still any longer, grinding herself against his hand, his face. Needing something to hold onto, her fingers wound into his hair. As it wouldn’t do to rip out his hair, she had to keep them still even when her body soared higher and higher. Her orgasm, so elusive before, unfurled its wings. Carried over the edge, she cried out as wave after wave of climatic bliss washed over her.

Only when she sank back into the couch, Bill let go of her. She wanted to open her eyes, wanted to thank Bill, but her body was too exhausted to respond like she wanted to. Just a minute and she’d open her eyes again. It was all she needed.

“Bill?” she mumbled sleepily. Damn cancer, damn drugs, damn orgasm. Why did she have to feel that heavy, drained.

“Shhh.” Bill’s soothing bass came from too far away, but she could still feel his hands on her, both of them, at her ankles. Strange. Her legs were lifted, she was urged to lie down, a blanket wrapped around her gave off delicious heat. She wouldn’t fall asleep, couldn’t. A kiss on her forehead was the last thing she felt.

 

Laura looked rather sheepish when he entered the living room. She sat on the couch. It seemed she had woken up when he had taken a shower. It was late morning, and if the way she squinted her eyes was any indication, the sunlight filtering through the windows was giving her a headache.

“Morning,” he greeted her. “Would you like some coffee?”

“Yes, please.”

He turned to grant her request.

“Bill?” she called after him.

He stopped and faced her again. “Yeah?”

She sighed. “I fell asleep on you yesterday, didn’t I?”

“More or less.”

“I’m really sorry about it.”

“Don’t be. How did you sleep?”

“Better and longer than in ages.”

“And that was the point of the exercise.”

“Thank you.” She smiled but frowned when her headache seemed to remind her of its presence.

“You’re welcome.”

“One more thing, did you put the sweatpants on me?”

“Who else do you think could’ve done it?”

“But we did… I mean you did… it wasn’t a drug induced dream, was it?”

Maybe he shouldn’t tease her about it, but she was beautiful when anger flared in her eyes. It was one of the first things that had attracted him to her even when he had disliked her with a ferocity almost unknown to him. There was just a thin line between love and hate, it was true. “If you mean you fell asleep after I gave you what seemed to be a pretty amazing orgasm? Yes.”

“Bill.” She threw a couch pillow at him.

He caught it easily. “Not much of an arm, Miss Roslin.” He decided it was time for coffee.

Coming back to the living room a minute later, he found Laura curled up on the couch, her eyes closed. “Are you alright?”

“Fine. More or less. If you forget about the killer headache and the fact that I still feel I could sleep for years.”

He handed her one of the cups. “I hope you don’t mind that I let you sleep on the couch.”

“Not at all. You wouldn’t believe how comfy it is. I might make it my permanent bed.”

He sat down besides her. “Well, suit yourself.”

“Don’t be ridiculous. By the way, yesterday, after I fell asleep… weren’t you a bit aroused, too?”

“A bit?”

She touched his arm. “I’m sorry, Bill.”

“Cut the crap and the apologising, Laura. I can take care of myself.”

“So did you?” she asked clearly amused.

“What would you have done?”

“That’s for me to know and for you figure out.”

“I’d like that.”

“What? To figure it out? Dream on.” She laughed, her head coming to rest on his shoulder.

He hadn’t seen her this relaxed in too long a time. Maybe yesterday had been a bit unorthodox, maybe it was something one shouldn’t do often, but to see Laura like this was worth it. He took a sip of his coffee before he put the cup onto the table. “I could sit like this for the rest of the day,” he confessed quietly.

“Me too.”

“Life ain’t that bad, huh?”

“Right now? No, it isn’t.”

“Laura?”

“Hmhm?”

“Treatment is over soon.” He linked one of her hands with his.

She sighed. “Yes, just a little longer. Why? Results won’t be in until a month from now.”

“I know. But didn’t Dr. Hastings say that no matter what, there’ll be a break in treatment?”

“Yeah. Either it’s surgery, more treatment or waiting for the end to come.” Her hand tensed in his.

“Don’t talk this way.”

“You started it.”

“And you didn’t let me finish my thought.”

She breathed a kiss onto his neck. Groaning she sat up, putting her cup on the table next to his. “We can’t have that. So by all means, ramble on.”

“I don’t ramble.”

“Of course not. So what was it you wanted to say?”

“I really have your attention now?”

“For as long as I don’t fall asleep. I know there was a reason why it is a bad idea to smoke weed.”

“So you never want to do it again?”

“I didn’t say that.”

“I only want your best.”

“Of course. But you wanted to say something?”

It was now or never. He offered his arm to her again, and she eased into his embrace willingly. “How long will your break in treatment be?”

“Do we have to talk about this now? I feel wonderful. I’d love for it to stay like that. At least for a little while. But to come back to your question, at least four weeks. Why?”

“I thought we could use the time.”

“For what?” She turned her head so that she could look up at him.

“For on thing, to feed you.”

“You offer to cook?”

“You know I am.”

“That was one. What else?”

“You and Saul could get to know each other better.”

She shook her head. “Forget it. I’ll never understand what you see in this guy.”

“He’s a loyal friend. Loyal to the core.”

“So does he simply dislike me, or is it women in general?”

“He likes women quite fine.”

“How comforting. Then it’s just me.”

“I wouldn’t say that either. I guess he’s just not used to women with that much class.”

Laura snorted, another sound he liked, although he wouldn’t admit it. It just proved that it was never too late to be turned into a love struck fool. “Anything else?”

“Now that you ask. You could help me paint the last rooms if you feel like it.”

“Deal.”

They both knew that it was likely that Laura’s prognosis might be even direr in a few weeks from now, but why mention it? Why ruin what promised to be a perfectly fine day?

“More?”

“I’d like to meet some of your friends. I’d like to spend a weekend with you at lake Amaretha, I know a wonderful little hotel there, then I’d like to do something about your name, we still need to invite Kara and Lee for lunch, rumour has it your…”

“Stop it, Bill. Since when do you talk that much? And what is this about my name?”

“You have to admit that Laura Roslin sounds rather common.”

“Why, thank you very much. What would sound better in your opinion?” Her eyes searched his, but he didn’t get the chance to answer. With the worst timing possible, the telephone ran, the sound shrill.

“I’ll get it,” Laura said, getting up in on swift motion. “Yes, please.” Bill watched Laura who listened to whoever was at the other end of the line. “Yes, of course, I’ll talk to him.” She fidgeted from one foot to the other. “Dr. Hastings, is there anything off?” Bill tensed at the name of Laura’s doctor. He watched how her face lost all colour, and he got up in case she fainted. What the…? “Yes, of course. I’ll be there in an hour. Thank you.” She ended the call, facing Bill, her face frozen. “My last blood test. Dr. Hastings said something about an unusual result. He wants to make another test. He… he didn’t want to tell me what the problem was. He wants to see me now."

TBC


	13. Chapter 13

“Laura, calm down.”

She turned to him, came to a halt. “How could I?”

“We’ll know more once Dr. Hastings is back. Just a bit of patience, and we’ll know what’s up.”

She resumed pacing. “How can you be so calm? We’re here for more than two hours now. There’s something off with my blood test, but everyone refused to tell me what it is. If things look worse… I… I could die even sooner than everyone expected.” Somewhat deflated, she sat down beside Bill, her back ramrod straight.

He had thought he had felt helpless before, but nothing compared to this situation. If there were indeed any bad news, how would they cope with them? He couldn’t lose Laura. It would tear his heart apart, he’d die along with her. Maybe not in body but in spirit. And even if she simply needed stronger treatment, how should this work? She was already too thin, too weak. Her body couldn’t bear much more of this. Bill felt he could cry, could beat something, anything to a pulp, but he had to be strong for Laura. It was all he could do for her at the moment. He was thankful she had even allowed him to accompany her, it wouldn’t do to fall apart now.

“We don’t know what this is about, Laura. And I’m not calm.”

“You seem to be.”

“A good façade, nothing else.”

“I don’t wanna die.” Hardly more than a whisper, Bill could hear her loud and clear. It made his heart bleed. He wanted so much to tell her that she wouldn’t, but how could he? Her originally chances to survive had been around thirty percent, so how could he promise her she would live?

“I know, Laura. I know.” He took her cold hand into his clammy one.

They had to wait another twenty minutes without anything but silence reigning the room. It was raining outside, big raindrops splashing again the windows drowning all other noise.

When the door opened and Dr. Hastings entered, Bill felt nausea creeping up in him. He wanted to know what this was all about, but at the same time, he wanted to flee. The old doctor was smiling at them, but it had to mean nothing. He had seen many a doctor smiling in this life before they delivered their blows. As if a smile could right any wrong. It made him miss Jack Cottle and his abysmal bedside manners. Laura would like him. Maybe they should invite him one day. All his disconnected thoughts left him when Hastings took the seat opposite them and opened Laura’s too thick file.

“I’m sorry that I had to schedule an appointment at such short notice, but…”

“Please, Doctor. What is it? We just lived through the most miserable two hours of our lives. Make it short.”

Understanding and sympathy flashed over the man’s face before it schooled itself into a mask again. “I understand. What had me call you was the considerable decrease of cancerous cells we found in your last blood test. There had been a slight decrease over the course of the last weeks, but this last one was rather significant. That’s why we had to make another test to confirm the last one.”

“A decrease?” Bill looked from Laura, who was white as a sheet, to the doctor and back.

“Yes, a decrease. I hope you understand that I didn’t want to talk about it before to not raise any false hopes in any of you.”

“So the second test confirmed the first one?” Bill wanted to know.

“Yes, it did.”

“How often does this happen?”

Laura was still silent, her gaze resting calmly on Hastings.

The doctor turned to Bill again after checking something on Laura’s chart. “A sudden decrease? In two to five percent of all cases. It’s a very rare occurrence.”

“What will happen now?” Laura asked. Her voice was strong, and if it wasn’t for her pallor and the light trembling of her hand, Bill would have thought she was completely poised.

“We’ll go on as planned. Once the course of treatment is over, we’ll make some more tests as well as a scan. Should the result be to our satisfaction, we’ll schedule surgery for as soon as possible.”

“So we’ll know more in about four weeks.”

“That’s the plan. Don’t give up hope, Madame Secretary.”

“I’m no longer secretary of education.”

The eyes of Hastings widened slight. “Of course, Miss Roslin. Still, believe me that it’s been a long time since I could deliver such news in a case that was considered terminal. I don’t want to raise any wild hope now, that would be wrong, but I urge you to not give up fighting.”

“Never.”

Hastings smiled before getting up. “I’ll see you in four weeks then.” Bill and Laura got up as well, shaking the offered hand. “Before you go, though, please allow me a last bit of advice. I know that there are several… recreational substances that help with the side effects of diloxin, but I wouldn’t consume them too often.”

Bill looked at Laura who nodded. “I understand. Thanks, Dr. Hastings.”

She led the way outside, not pausing before they had left the building. Then she broke into laughter, doubling over from the force of it. Bill watched her smiling. He didn’t know if he could stop smiling anytime soon. There was still a long dreary way ahead of them, things were far from being good in any way or form, but for the first time, there was a real glimpse of hope. Laura didn’t suffer in vain.

Laura righted herself, biting her lip. “Frakking blood test. They had to test me the day after I had some of the stuff for the first time in years. Now, there’s at least one person in Caprica City who thinks that what the newspapers wrote was right.”

He took her arm, guiding her to his car. “But he is the only one who has to remain silent,” he reminded her.

“True.” She got into the car where she turned to face him. “This is real, isn’t it? It isn’t just a dream, and I’ll wake up in a moment or two?”

“Yes, it’s real.”

“Gods, Bill. I don’t know whether to laugh or to cry. I’m afraid to hope. What if everything looks different in four weeks?”

“Then you had four weeks with a lighter heart.”

“But I don’t think I could take any devastating news again. Not after I tasted real hope. For… for a short moment in there, I had the picture of a future in front of my inner eye. Yesterday, I didn’t dare think a year into the future, and from one moment to the other, I thought a few years ahead.”

“What did you see?”

At that a smile lit up her face. “It’s stupid, really, and all your fault anyway.”

“My fault?”

“You bet. I saw you and me enjoying a day in our garden. Lee was there and his child. I never nurture such foolish romantic thoughts, but there they were.”

“I like it, Laura.” It was exactly what he wanted for himself, and that she thought it was something she might want for herself… “But it’s no wonder, is it? You were a teacher for a reason.”

“Yes, I was.”

“Now, we only have to convince Lee that this is what he wants too.”

“Bill, no needling,” she chided softly. “Either he wants it himself or he doesn’t. I don’t know Lee well at all, but he seems to be the type to want children. Maybe not now that he wants to go back to studying, though.”

“Agreed. What about inviting him and Kara to dinner first?”

“Sounds good, but let’s wait for therapy to be over. Either I’ll be too tired to prepare dinner or I’ll be too nauseated to participate. Sorry.”

“You know that I can cook too, right? But it was never my intention to invite them right now. What about we drive home now?”

“Good idea. I swear I can hear the couch and a good book calling.”

Bill ignited the car.

“I’m scared.” She spoke so quietly he almost didn’t hear her.

“Me too, Laura. Me too. But we won’t give up.”

“Never.”

 

It was ridiculous. First, she had tried the wig, then decided against it. She had taken up a headscarf only to find that she didn’t like the colour.

“Laura, are you coming?”

“Just a minute.” She took up the green one, it suited her. Why she even bothered when it was only Lee and Kara coming over for dinner, she didn’t know. Simple vanity wasn’t like her, but she didn’t want Lee or Kara to pity Bill for his poor choice in women either.

Scarf in place, she walked out of the bedroom to help Bill with the final preparations.

Someone knocked. A quick glimpse at her watch told her that their visitors were punctual. Not one minute too early, not one too late. The military. Laura smile amused. In her former life, her friends had always been late, some more, some less. It drove her crazy.

“I’ll go,” Laura said, changing course for the door. Her former life… sometimes, it seemed like a distant dream. The stress of her job, her affair, her friends of whom only three had decided to stay in contact after she had left politics, after they had learned that she had been the president’s lover for years. Sarah, her oldest friend, had known of course. She hadn’t been rattled by recent events. Quite a few others, though… It was a pity Sarah had moved to Tauron with her husband. She missed her. But she knew Sarah was happy, which was all what counted. Maybe one day, Bill and she could visit her, she was sure Sarah and Bill would get along. Or Sarah could come to Caprica for a visit. Although now that her parents were dead, she didn’t have any relatives that might bring her back here. Never mind that Jeremy and she were everything but rich with two meagre teacher salaries. All thoughts of Sarah were shoved to the side when she opened the door.

Lee smiled at her appearance, stepping forward to embrace her, a move she hadn’t expected from the rather formal young man. Not that she felt like complaining. He seemed happy, and that he accepted her just like that was the best she could have hoped for. She returned his embrace.

“It’s good to see you, Laura.”

“You too, Lee.”

The real surprise was Kara anyway. The young blonde woman followed Lee’s example, hugging her as well. Granted, Laura didn’t know much about pilots but wasn’t this woman too small too fly a viper?

“Nice to get to know the old man’s lady.” Well, at least she didn’t have a problem to speak her mind, Laura noted amused. She had been forewarned by Bill, but the real thing was always different than what one had heard of.

“Usually, I go by the name Laura.”

“Nice to get to know you, Laura. I’m Kara.” The young woman’s eyes were dancing with mirth, making her wonder what Kara might be up to. A strange feeling, when one considered that she knew her for all but one minute.

“Come in,” she said to the two of them. “Bill’s in the kitchen.” She led the way to their living room, offering them a seat.

“I have to say you seem to be different than I had expected,” Kara said, taking a seat beside Lee on the couch.

“Different how?”

Kara laughed. “Well, if one can believe the press, you’re either a hippie about to open a weed smoking colony or a vamp seducing all men, the more powerful the better.”

Laura snorted. “It’s funny how fast people forget. A few weeks ago, there’d have been more than just a few people who would have sworn that I’m calm, serene and downright boring at all times.”

“I hate to break the news to you, but these days are irrevocably over.”

“I think so, too. And I’m sorry to disappoint, but I’m neither a vamp nor a hippie.”

“So you and the president didn’t…?”

“Kara,” Lee protested.

Laura was amused by the shocked expression on Lee’s face. If he and Kara ever started something, he’d have more than a handful to cope with. It might loosen him up a bit.

“What?” Kara asked. “Don’t you hate it, too, that people always make assumptions based on what they hear and say, but they never take the time to really get to know you or to ask you directly if rumours are indeed true or not?”

“But what a difference will it make if she did what was said or not? Will it change your perception of Laura or what you think of her?”

“Maybe not because I always form my own opinion, but to know facts will help me to check my perception against facts. Who says that my perception of things is the right one?”

“But if you hadn’t read the article you wouldn’t have thought of even asking such a question.”

“True, but once a cat is out of the bag…”

“Did I miss something?” Bill asked when he entered the room.

“Only the question if it is inappropriate to ask me if I really slept with the president or not. Which still wouldn’t quite answer the question if I’m a hippie, a vamp or a boring old spinster.”

“What the frak?”

Laura laughed at Bill’s heartfelt exclamation. “I have to say I have to agree with Kara,” she said towards Lee and her. “I could never stand rumours behind my back. And as you surely saw the photo accompanying the article about the president and me, you know that the rumours can’t be quite wrong.”

“I still don’t think you’re a vamp,” Kara said. She grinned at Laura who couldn’t help herself and smiled back.

“Now that we solved this problem, how about something to drink and lunch?”

They settled at the table to spend a companionable hour. It was easy to see that there was more than just friendship between Lee and Kara. The stolen glances when they thought the other wasn’t looking, the way they seemed overly aware of the other’s presence, told Laura enough. But if she wasn’t quite wrong, Kara wouldn’t make the first move. From what Bill had told her, Kara carried the guilt for Zak’s death as a constant companion with her. And if Lee didn’t know about it, she would feel unworthy of Lee’s affection, Laura was sure of it. There was a raw vulnerability about Kara that only ever came out in a look, a gesture, a sentence that wasn’t finished. It might hardly be noticeable, but Laura knew how to read people as well as she knew to hide facets of her own personality from others. One wasn’t the president’s lover for such a long time if one didn’t know how to weave a net of illusions around people.

They talked about Lee’s plans. Like she had suggested, he had talked to Wally, and obviously had gotten some answers he had sought.

Kara knew many a story to tell about the young pilots she trained, and Bill talked about the renovations he had still planned.

“What about you?” Kara asked Laura when Bill had finished speaking. “What are your plans for the next months?”

A good question. What were her plans? Did she even have any? It was a question she hadn’t asked herself for a long time. “Basically to survive.”

Kara’s eyes widened. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to…”

“It’s alright, Kara. Don’t worry about it. But when you’re diagnosed with terminal cancer, you start to live for the day. And if it hadn’t been for Bill, I might not even be interested in that much.”

“Terminal? But I thought…”

“Well, the original diagnosis had been terminal. Now, there’s a slight chance that the tumour will shrink after all.”

“That’s good to hear,” Kara offered a tentative smile. “When will you know for sure?”

“In three days. I just finished the course of treatment, but blood tests looked promising so far.”

“I’ll keep my fingers crossed.”

“Thank you, Kara.” She looked around the table. “What about coffee and cake?” When everyone nodded, she got up, picking up the plates. They all wanted to help, but Laura shook her head. “The kitchen’s not that spacious. Lee, could you…?”

The young man nodded and followed her with some bowls.

Laura dropped the dishes into the sink. “Kara really is something else, isn’t she?”

“That she is. But she didn’t mean to be disrespectful… you know when she…”

“I don’t want and need an apology. I like her.” She smiled at Lee who ran his hand thought his slightly tousled hair.

“Lee?”

“Yes?”

She leaned back again the sink. “I know it is none of my business, but I hope you forgive me for speaking out, especially as an outsider. But if I learned anything, it is that life is short.”

“Is it about Kara and me?” Lee’s smile was self-reproaching.

“It is. I know I don’t have all the facts, but it is plain to see that the two of you… like each other.”

“Well, I know that I do lo… it’s a complicated story. I mean Zak and her… I don’t know,” he sighed.

“Even complicated things can turn out to be pretty easy in the end. Take your father and me, for example. We both weren’t in a good place when we got to know each other. In our case, there was the additional component that we disliked each other. We both would have happily airlocked the other’s ass.”

Lee chuckled. “Airlocked?”

“Well, you have to admit that such an airlock is a fascinating construction. Although, no one wanted to show me one in action.”

Lee shook his head, smiling. “You’re quite something else as well, aren’t you?”

“Maybe.” At Lee’s mirth, she couldn’t help but laugh out. “Someone has to stop your father from moping around.”

“I bet you do a wonderful job.”

“I try. But Lee, let’s be frank about it. It isn’t easy to live with someone undergoing diloxin treatment. A lesser man would have fled weeks ago. I can’t ever thank him enough.”

“The old man’s changed,” Lee mumbled.

“I can’t really say, and how could I? I can only tell you that I wouldn’t know where I’d be without your father today.”

“That’s nice to hear.”

“Anyway, I didn’t want to talk to you about your father and myself. If you can, try your luck with Kara. Don’t wait for life to happen to you, live it. At least if you try it, you’ll know for certain.”

“Thank you, Laura.”

“No, I thank you. For listening. You could have told me to keep my mouth shut, and you’d have been right about it.” Laura handed Lee the pot with the coffee she’d prepared. She nodded toward some small plates which Lee took, handing them to her.

“Seems I have to come back for the cake.” She passed Lee, leading the way.

“So, how do you do it?” Lee asked her.

“Do what?”

“Sweep a woman truly off her feet.”

She laughed. “That depends on the woman. But with Kara… well, I don’t know her that well. Although I’d say that whatever you do, don’t be shy about it. Don’t hesitate. Just do it. Don’t let her catch her breath until she is addicted to what only you can provide.”

“Was that what dad did?”

“Not at all. We only met again thanks to a coincidence and then he stuck around. I didn’t want a relationship. Not with cancer and all. But…” she stopped and turned to Lee. “Maybe you aren’t wrong. He just refused to leave until I thought I wouldn’t want to be without him ever again. Infuriating as he is at times.”

They walked the last few metres, finding Bill and Kara in a discussion about vipers.

“Where did you stay for that long?” Bill asked.

“We forgot the time over talking.” She put down the plates before she went to fetch the cake. While she carried it back to her waiting guests, she took a deep breath, hoping she had done the right thing with talking to Lee. If it backfired… better not to think about it.

 

They both pretended to read, although they hardly ever turned a page. In the end, it was Bill who gave up first.

“This isn’t working.”

Laura put her book aside as well. “No, it isn’t.”

Bill tried to smile, knowing from Laura’s expression that he wasn’t succeeding. “At least, we’ll have a definite result tomorrow.”

“True, but what if the blood test will show an increase of cancerous cells? What if the tumour didn’t shrink at all?”

It were the same thoughts troubling him, although he was reluctant to admit it. It wouldn’t do to add to Laura’s burdens. “No matter what. We’ll fight on. And why trouble with thoughts about things you can’t influence?”

“So you’re able to tune it out? If so, I’d like to know the trick.”

“You know I can’t. But isn’t it funny, it’s always the calm before the storm that’s the worst. It’s something you experience in battles as well.”

“During the battle you don’t have the luxury of time to worry.”

“No, you haven’t. So since we both can’t concentrate, what do you suggest we do? Go to bed?”

Her smile was pained. “I’m not sleepy. Never mind that the frakking tumour seems to think it’s a smart idea to remind me of its presence.”

“That bad?”

“Well, it’s not nice.”

A sudden thought gave Bill pause, and he contemplated Laura, wondered if she was up for some levity or not. But the thought of moping around for more hours was unbearable. In battle, it had been about his own life, about the life of people he might have felt respect and friendship for, but that was it. Here, now, it was about Laura’s life. But Laura was entwined with his heart. Was she to die, his life wouldn’t be worth a flying frak any longer. Ah well, either she’d laugh or slap him. Anything to make her forget if only for a meagre minute or two.

“You know, if you have absolutely no idea what to do with your time, you could always give me the blowjob you’ve been talking about when we got stoned.”

When Laura narrowed her eyes, he was sure he had misread the situation entirely. He was a frakking moron. Didn’t she know that he wasn’t serious? It wasn’t that he didn’t take their situation serious. He did. All he had wanted…

“Not here.”

His eyes widened. “What did you say?”

“You heard me. I said ‘not here’.” An impish smile lit up her face. “When I’m done with you, you won’t be able to move any longer so you might be more comfortable in bed in the first place.”

“Laura,” he spoke quietly. “I didn’t mean to…”

“So you don’t want a blowjob?”

“I didn’t say that. But…”

“Bill, I don’t enjoy moping around either. This was the best suggestion all day, and it might distract both of us for some time. As you reminded me yourself, I might hear that I’ll be dying for real tomorrow, but I can still hope today. And if I don’t quite manage to hope, I can always distract myself. So put your cards on the table now. Do you want the blowjob of your life or not?” If she hadn’t watched him that closely, he’d have shaken his head in an attempt to clear it. She had thrown him out of balance.

“Do you expect me to say no now?”

“I expect you to get your act together and do what I suggested earlier, to relocate to bed.” She laughed out, got up and offered him her hand. He took it, following her into their bedroom.

 

Laura sat down on the bed. “Now I want you to strip for me. Slowly.”

What had he gotten himself into? He disposed of his clothes – his robe, his tanks, one after the other, and finally his boxer briefs – all under the scrutiny of Laura’s watchful gaze. To see her there, to know what she was about to do already had him half hard. He doubted seriously that she could keep him on the edge for any length of time. He wasn’t young anymore, and Laura’s touch was too exhilarating for him. To him – another thing he’d never be able to aptly voice – she looked like a goddess and her touch was divine. Neither her body nor her character was flawless, but he wouldn’t want her any different.

When he was completely naked, he waited for her next command. This was her game.

“Come over here.” Her voice was soft, but her amused eyes, her crooked finger beckoning him closer told him she was enjoying herself. He stopped at the foot of the bed.

“I want you to lie down. Make yourself comfortable. I really mean it, you’ll stay there a while. Then spread your legs so I can settle comfortably between them.”

Bill complied, but Laura didn’t move to start with whatever she had in mind. “Nice,” she commented. Reaching behind her neck, she untied the knot of her headscarf before she got up to undo her robe. It left her in just her gown. Even without her hair, she was breathtaking. “Lift your arms.”

“Laura?”

“Lift your arms. Please.”

He did it after just another second of hesitation.

“Thank you.” She smiled and climbed up onto the bed. Kneeling besides him, she used her abandoned scarf to tie Bill’s hands to the bed railing. It wasn’t a move Bill had expected, not something they had done before. “You want me to blindfold you, too?”

“No, I want to see you. You really have done that before.” It was a statement, no question.

“Did you doubt me?” She rearranged herself so she came to rest between his legs before she placed a finger on his lips, barely touching him. “I want you to stay as you are until I ask you to move. Don’t talk. At least not too much. We don’t want to break the mood, do we?”

Bill nodded his understanding.

She leaned forward to brush her lips against his, the light touch leaving his lips tingling. Another smile before she sat up.

The only light in the room came from the little lamp on the nightstand, casting more shadows than spending light. Laura didn’t start with the obvious, didn’t touch him where he wanted it the most. Instead, she let her gaze roam his body, her fingertips lightly grazing his skin wherever her eyes wandered. His skin began to tingle, he shivered from the tender touches. She kept it up for minutes until he felt utterly relaxed. When her fingers danced along the sensitive skin of his inner thighs, his cock twitched in response, the light caress making his nerve endings flare to life. Nearer, always nearer did she come to where he wanted to feel her, but then her hands left him. He groaned out in frustration, earning him a chuckle from her.

“Good things come to those who wait.”

Now her lips followed the path her fingers had taken, butterfly kisses showering his body. By the time she stopped, his arousal was undeniable, his erection straining, throbbing, yearning for attention. Her fingers took the same way they had some time before. It nearly had him groaning out again, but then her lips joined the assault on his senses. She kissed along his length; starting at its base, she worked her way up to its tip.

Bill couldn’t keep his eyes open any longer. As much as he enjoyed watching Laura while she went down on him, his body overruled his mind for the time being. When her lips closed around the head of his cock, his hips bucked upward. Thanks to the time she had taken to work him up, he was more than ready for some action.

Laura seemed to read his thoughts as she started a suckling motion, the glide in and out of her mouth more than enough for his arousal to grow steadily. She didn’t seem to have an idea how much her touch, her mouth excited him. Under her ministrations, he always became putty within a few meagre minutes. Maybe that she seemed to like what she did was why she immersed herself fully into the task.

So much for dragging it out. Her tongue scraped along his sensitive flesh, her fingers caressing his thighs. That was it. Just a tad bit more, just that bit more. He would come soon, he’d come now. She’d just have to go fully down on him again. Her mouth closed around him. She… stopped. Releasing him from her wet heat, she sat up, watched him.

His hips bucked upward, his hands pulled on the restraints for the first time. It was a heady sight. His eyes flew open, and he watched her slightly unfocused. He hadn’t really thought she’d make it that easy for him, had he?

“Not yet,” she whispered, and her hands trailed over the soft flesh of his stomach, soothing him until the strain in his muscles was gone.

This time, she took a different approach. A smile and she bent forward again, one hand running up and down the smooth length of his cock while she nibbled, nipped at his inner thighs. It stung the same time it aroused, the slight pain only enhancing the pleasure. Ever so slowly, her grip on his cock became firmer until he could feel the release building inside of him again. He didn’t want to come into her hand, didn’t want to create a mess.

“Laura, please.” It became urgent. She had to stop if she didn’t want to spend the remainder of the evening cleaning. He nearly sighed with relief when she engulfed him in her mouth again. The tightening of his balls told him that an eruption was imminent. Her tongue circled his shaft once, twice, she stopped.

He pulled harder at his restraints this time. The freedom of movement was what he wanted at this point. To be able to flip her onto her back and take her. She would be wet and open for him. He knew it.

Sitting back on her heels, Laura watched him, his struggle to get his body to calm down, amused. Bill was frustrated, was aroused, all emotions clearly visible on his face. Only when she was sure he had calmed down sufficiently, she started with the next round.

The art of seduction was a game Laura was a master in. Urging his legs together, she straddled him. The flicker of relief and hope was almost her undoing. She wanted him as much as he wanted her, but this time was just for him. She’d make him forget their worries if only for the night.

Bill could feel Laura’s wet heat hovering over his cock. If she just lowered herself the scant inches separating them, they could find completion together. But she didn’t, just tortured him with something she wasn’t willing to deliver. She spread out over him, her thighs pressed against his sides, her breasts hovering over his chest. He wanted them nearer, wanted to feel them, to suckle her nipples. But again, she only looked at him.

Not able to stand it for any length of time, his hips drove upward in an attempt to remind her of his presence. A smile was his only prize. Though she granted him her mouth, kissed him with passion, let him taste her.

He couldn’t keep still, his hips moving on their own accord, even if all he managed was to push his erection against her backside. But even the little friction was better than nothing.

Laura ended the kiss when her own control was about to slip. Rearranging herself, she settled into her former spot between his legs. She bent forward again, this time to let the tip of her tongue run over a flat nipple repeatedly. First one side, then the other. When she began to suckle one hard bud while fondling its twin with the fingers of her other hand, his moans increased in volume.

“Laura, please. Laura.” His voice was tinted with lust. He watched how she slid down his body, her tongue running along the expanse of his chest. It was such a powerful, erotic image that he knew it would stay with him. This time, she started with his balls, only the lightest of touches ghosting over his skin. He twitched, this was not enough. Not any longer.

“Laura.” Yes, he pleaded but so what? The feeling of her tongue was slightly better, her mouth closing around one, then the other testicle was more like it. His whole skin tingled, he had lost track of how long he’d been with her here like that.

Only when she was satisfied, she ventured higher, running her tongue along his length repeatedly. Bill watched how she suckled his cock’s head before slowly sinking down. Her mouth was tight, so tight, wet, warm. He had to keep still to not surge upward, to force himself into her mouth. But he couldn’t help the shudder that ran over his whole body when a single finger went down, trailing over his balls, against his perineum. Her mouth closed even tighter around him, his body becoming rigid, preparing itself for the blessing of what would be a mind-blowing orgasm.

He was denied again; Laura with her uncanny ability to read him became completely still. By the Gods, she hadn’t lied.

“That was three,” she whispered.

She wouldn’t go for eight, would she? He wouldn’t be able to stand it. He was too old, too painfully aroused. He needed release, needed it badly.

“I believe you. You win. Just…” Her finger closed over his mouth again.

“You can stand it, Bill, and you will. Just relax.”

He shook his head in disbelief. She wasn’t serious, was she? Of course, she was, Bill lost all concept of time while she brought him to the brink again and again.

His mouth was dry, his body covered by a light sheen of sweat. He pulled at his restraints, again to no avail. With force, he would be able to free himself; if he really asked, Laura would untie him, he was sure about it. Part of him wanted to be able to take action, another part enjoyed to be on Laura’s sweet mercy. Enough was enough, though.

“Laura, please. I can’t bear it any longer.”

She had straddled him again, her fingers toying with his nipples. “Are you sure?”

“Yes. I… can’t. Not another time.”

Whatever she saw in his eyes at this time made her nod, a fine smile playing around her lips. “You’ll have to bear it one last time.”

“I don’t care. Just… just…”

“Make you come?”

“Yes.”

Laura knew she could keep him going, but it was clear to see that Bill was nearly delirious with lust. That she let him come, however, didn’t mean that she would make it easy for him. She was far from being done with him.

It started with kissing. She took her time tasting him, exploring the cavern of his mouth. Each time he wanted to take the lead from her, she sat up, shaking her head no. Her game, her rules – she wouldn’t let him forget. When she seemed to be content, she moved on, kissing each inch of skin she encountered. Her tongue ran over his chest, tasting the flavour of his sweat.

His hard shaft was throbbing painfully by now. Thoughts of freeing at least one hand to finish himself off entered his mind.

Settling between his legs, she urged him to bend his knees. Nibbling along his upper thighs had him tense up, writhe. Sometimes, she took a firmer bite, holding his tender flesh between her teeth, drawing it taut, letting him settle into the pleasurable pain before she released him.

Where the heck had she learned to toy with a man like that? He wasn’t about to complain, but it was a side of her he hadn’t known before. The heat of her mouth around the head of his cock drowned his thoughts in a moan. Finally, she would finish him off, his erection pulsed in anticipation. But the rhythm she set was too slow to end it quickly, her tongue only grazing lightly along his heated flesh. The attempt to stretch his legs was thwarted by Laura. She smiled at him again, broader than before, but he didn’t have enough energy left to worry.

Making sure she had his attention, she sucked her index finger into her mouth. This wasn’t what he wanted, they both knew it. Pulling it out of her mouth, her finger glistened wet in the dim light.

He wondered about her intention but forgot about it when she lowered her head to go down on his cock another time.

While one hand cradled his balls, the finger of her other hand trailed along his perineum. The touch of her tongue circling his cock distracted him, but his eyes flew open when her wet finger slowly pressed into his anus. It was an exquisite feeling, the pressure, the slightly tingling sensation adding to his heightened state of arousal. He moaned, not even trying to resist when Laura inserted her whole finger. All the while, her tongue never stopped caressing his erection, her hand still fondling him. His whole body was on fire, and the moment she changed to a suckling motion, her finger sliding in and out of him, it was too late. He exploded into her mouth, his hips bucking.

An unknown amount of time passed while jolt after jolt of pleasure made Bill forget who he was. Only when he collapsed on the bed, Laura stopped her loving assault.

Bill hardly noticed her releasing him from the scarf that had restrained his hands. Breathing, calming down was almost more than he could handle at the moment.

Laura took the blanket, covering him before she nestled up against him.

“Where the frak did you learn that?” he let out on a breath, turning to her.

“Learned what?”

“To make a man that crazy.”

She laughed. “Simple field experience and observation skills.”

“That makes it sound like you did true research.”

Another peal of laughter. “No, I didn’t. And it’s not something I’d do with anyone. But you see, there might be an advantage of being with older women.”

“You’re not old.”

“Thank you.”

He brushed his lips against her forehead. “What about you now? Can I do something for you?”

“Not this time. Just hold me.”

They lay together in silence, Bill’s breathing slowly evening out.

“But next time, we go for eight,” she teased him after a while.

“Do you want to kill me?”

“Wouldn’t it be a way to go?”

“It would, but I rather spend my time with you.”

She tensed in his arms. “If there is any time left.”

“Don’t talk this way. Tomorrow, we’ll know more, and whatever it is we’ll work through it together.”

“I just don’t know.”

“Have faith, Laura.”

“Faith… what an abstract concept. And you aren’t even religious.”

“I might not believe in the Gods, but I believe that life has more in store for us.”

“I like that thought.”

Bill yawned. “So do I.”

“Sleepy?”

“A bit. Sorry.”

“No, don’t be sorry. Just sleep.”

“What about you?”

“I’ll listen to you sleeping for a while and hope to follow suit soon.”

“I love you, Laura.” He didn’t know if she answered him or not as exhaustion and tiredness claimed him.

Bill slept dreamless that night.

 

The same room, the same situation. Maybe it should become easier with time, but in fact, the anxiety was even worse. There were some situations one would never get used to. Today, they would learn which way they had to go.

Although Bill wanted a definite answer, he dreaded it at the same time.

The only good thing was that they didn’t have to wait long this time.

Forty minutes after Laura’s scans, Dr. Hastings entered, the same file in hand. “Miss Roslin, Mister Adama.”

“How does it look?” Laura asked before he could sit down or say anything else.

The doctor smiled. “Actually, as good as I hoped for. Your blood test still shows the same improvement we discussed the last time. Furthermore, the scans revealed that your tumour shrank enough so that it is operable now. It has just the maximum size that allows for operation, but I think we should take our chances.”

Bill didn’t know what to say, and Laura seemed to feel similar. It was what they had been hoping for, but that it was confirmed now took his breath away.

Laura cleared her throat. “Thank you, Dr. Hastings.” She turned to Bill, and he could see unshed tears in her eyes. He knew he had a hard time to keep his own from spilling.

Facing Dr. Hastings again, Laura gave an affirmative nod. “Yes, I want the surgery. I want it as soon as possible.”

“I agree. We could get you an appointment soon. In fact, a surgery planned for tomorrow afternoon was cancelled yesterday…”

“Yes, that’s fine with me.”

“Let me tell my secretary about it. She’ll see about it.”

Laura nodded, turning to Bill. This was nearly too much to process. So, there’d really be a surgery, and it would be tomorrow. It might be a step into the right direction or just another step leading them further along the way of false hope.

“It will be okay,” he mouthed to Laura.

“It has to be,” she said back.

TBC


	14. Chapter 14

Fifty-four steps from one end of the hallway to the other. Back and forth, time and again. The smell made him sick, and time just seemed to be an abstract concept. He felt like he had spent hours here when in fact not even one had passed. The thought that Laura was so near, but at the same time so far away at the mercy of some doctor’s capability made him anxious. Surgery was necessary, was what they had hoped for, but he didn’t like it, didn’t like hospitals. The last time he had spent so much time in one had been when his sister’s end had been near. Despite the pain, despite the helplessness of the situation, it had been her calming the others. Bill had never understood why it had been her being cursed with this fatal tumour. People had loved her, she had had a better relationship with their parents than he ever had. She’d been their father’s everything. It might have disturbed Bill when he had still been young, but not when he had become older. His sister and he had been different, she had fit in where he hadn’t. It was nothing one could blame her for. He still remembered when they had been young. Whenever he had been ill, she had sat by his bed, had read to him, the love for books running in the family. They had gotten along well. She would have deserved the best, instead life had played one cruel trick after the other on her – her illness, her cheating husband. She hadn’t even dared have a child out of fear it might be cursed with the same illness. When her end had come, she had been alone apart from her family. Her husband had taken his goodbye two years earlier, her friends didn’t seem to be interested in dealing with drama. It had crushed her, still she hadn’t complained. Where she had taken her strength from, he’d never know.

Now, it was Laura in a hospital; another strong woman who had to deal with a devastating illness. It was ridiculous, really, but what if she didn’t wake up? What if something went wrong? What if he’d never see her again? When he had sat beside her, waiting for the nurse that would bring her to surgery, she had been calm, composed. It was she stroking his hand, making plans for next week. He had nodded, given the right answers at the right time, but they both had known that his thoughts had been light years away. Laura had to make it, the thought that… his thoughts ran in an endless circle.

He had no idea how much time had passed when a hand on his shoulder startled him.

“I thought you might like some company.”

“Kara. Don’t you have to be at work?”

“I took the day off. I made the nuggets promise not to crash into something today.”

“I’m glad to see you.” He was, and to his astonishment, an unspoiled wave of affection for Kara washed over him. It was an elevating feeling, making him smile although he didn’t really feel like it. “Thank you.”

“Hey, I might not know Laura well or for long, but I like her. So you want to grab a cup of coffee or sit down?”

Bill eyed the row of seats, but the thought to keep still wasn’t one he even wanted to contemplate and neither was the one to go for a coffee.

Kara saw his wandering gaze and smiled her understanding. “We could always try to walk a hole into the floor.”

“I can’t sit still.”

“Yeah, I understand.” She started to walk, and he followed her. “I can’t stand hospitals.”

“Me neither.”

“I guess I’ve been in one a few times too many in the past.”

“You were sick a lot?”

“Well, I… let’s not talk about hospitals.”

Something bothered her, but he’d respect her wish not to talk about it. It bothered him, though. If she’d been sick often, it would have been in her medical chart, but it was not a piece of information the CMO would’ve shared with him. Maybe a hint if it was a serious condition. It was not something he’d learn about now, and Kara’s eyes pleaded him to drop the subject.

“How are you, Kara?”

She nodded a quiet thanks. “I’m fine.” They turned at the end of the hallway. “No, I’m not. It’s… it’s complicated. And nothing to talk about in this situation.”

“I’ve got nothing but time at the moment. And I’d rather not think about Laura in surgery.”

“Lee invited me for dinner.”

“And?”

“No just a simple dinner but a date.”

“And you don’t want it?”

“No, that’s not it. I’d… I’d like it, but… well, I couldn’t live with it any longer.”

“Zak?”

The pain in her eyes was answer enough for the two of them.

“He should know about it. Or maybe not. Maybe it would have been kinder if I’d remained silent. But it was gnawing on me, and each time I saw Lee…”

“Lee didn’t take the news well?”

Another turn.

“I have no idea. I fled the moment I had stopped talking.”

“When was that?”

“Three days ago.”

“Has he tried to get in contact with you since then?”

“No idea. Coward that I am I packed a bag and bunked in with Helo for the last few days.”

Helo – Karl Agathon, a good pilot who would make a fine officer one day. “That’s no solution, Kara.”

“I know. But I was afraid that Lee would try to get in contact or, even worse, that he wouldn’t.”

“You like him, don’t you?”

Kara stopped, looking him square in the eye. “Yes, I do. I’m sorry, sir, but I fell in love with your son.”

“So why apologise?”

“I don’t bring the people I care for luck. I… I don’t… I…”

“Kara, stuttering isn’t like you. You are not the reason for Zak’s death. Knowing him, he*d have tried to repeat the test anyway, and as long as he’d have barely made the test, the same could’ve happened. Who is really to blame here? I and Carolanne for not raising him to find a profession he’d have loved? Zak himself for trying the impossible? You for letting him pass? We could argue for the rest of our lives about it without being any wiser. No matter what, Zak won’t become alive again. All we can do is to live our lives, to move forward.”

Kara bit her lip but nodded. “Thank you, sir.”

“And how often do I have to tell you to not call me ‘sir’ anymore?”

“Quite a few times.” A tentative smile appeared on her face. “You can be quite intimidating.”

He snorted. “I doubt anything will ever intimidate Kara Thrace.”

“You managed.”

“I’ll just pretend to believe you. Anyway, talk to Lee.”

“And what if he doesn’t want to talk to me?”

“In that case, sit back and wait. He’ll come around. But I have a feeling that Lee is smarter than his father in these regards.”

“Or just too kind for this world.”

“Being with you could be penance enough.”

Kara nudged him lightly. “Hey, that’s not a nice thing to say. By the way… penance… one of the nuggets…”

Like it had been planned, the surgery took three hours. When the door to the OP opened and they carted Laura’s bed into their direction, Bill was at her side the same instance. She was still deep in a drug-induced sleep. He glanced from her to the doctor who had performed the surgery. It was a young man in his thirties.

“You know that I’m not allowed to tell you anything as you’re not married? But I won’t tell if you won’t.”

“Please,” was all Bill could get out.

“She’s fine. Surgery went as well as could be expected. We were able to extract the tumour, and I’m pretty sure that the surrounding area is clean. But of course, we’ll check. There’ll be scans, tests and more treatment in the next weeks.”

“Thank you.”

“No need to thank me. Do you have an idea how rare such a case is? Usually, we can do nothing once a tumour has advanced as far as it had with your… girlfriend.”

“Wife.”

“Excuse me, I thought the two of you weren’t married.”

“We will be. Pretty soon. I’ll see to it.”

A smile lit up the doctor’s face. “Well then, congratulations. I must leave you now, though. I’ll check on your ‘wife’ later.”

“Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.”

They had reached the elevators.

Bill reached for Laura’s hand which was ice cold. The thought of her lying on a steel table, naked and cold made his own skin crawl. Beside him, Kara coughed lightly. Bill turned to her.

“I’ll leave you now.”

“You don’t have to go.”

“It’s better, believe me. She’ll wake up anytime soon, and then it’ll be you she’d like to see.”

“Really, Kara, you’re welcome to stay.”

She laughed. “She won’t like for you to see her like that, but she’d hate if I was there as well.”

Bill knew what she meant. Laura was pale, and without her wig or even a scarf, she looked even more fragile. Laura wasn’t a vain woman, but she didn’t like to be seen vulnerable. “Thanks for staying, Kara.”

“My pleasure. Give my regards to her when she’s awake enough.”

“Will do.”

Kara pressed a soft kiss onto his cheek before she waved and disappeared, heading for the staircase.

 

The elevator ride was a silent one, the nurse respecting his wish for silence while Bill monitored Laura’s every breath. It was so hard to believe sometimes that such a small body could contain such a fierce spirit. And now, there’d be even more treatments. Granted, it was all for her best; still, how could this all work? How was her body to cope with it? Bill bit his bottom lip. He’d make sure she’d make it. He would do everything for her. She was his life.

 

The fog around her brain didn’t want to lift. Sleep tried to claim her, and although part of her wanted to succumb to the temptation of sweet oblivion, she knew she should fight it. Part of her told her it wasn’t some regular sleep, that it wasn’t even night. But where was she? It was an effort, but she managed to open her eyes. She stared at a white wall. This wasn’t her home, their home. Their home… Bill… where was Bill?

Her throat was dry, and she had trouble to fend the urge to cough. A soft pressure on her hand made her look up – right into Bill’s worried eyes. Why was he worried? Her eyes closed on their own volition. She opened them again.

“Bill?” Was this raw whisper her own voice?

“Yes. Everything’s alright.”

“Where?” Speaking was too much effort.

“The hospital. You had surgery.”

Surgery? True, she remembered now. Her tumour. With all the willpower she could muster, she managed to keep her eyes open, to speak. “Was it…?”

“Successful? Yes, it was.”

“Good.”

“Now sleep. I’ll be here when you wake up.”

 

Time passed too slowly yet again, But Bill was content to watch over Laura’s sleep. He was thankful for each minute she got, for each bit of strength her body would gain throughout the rest.

After a while, his eyes fell shut, and he sank into an uneasy sleep from which he awoke when the door to Laura’s room opened.

To pay for a single room in a hospital cost a fortune, but he’d do everything to make life easier for her. Shaking his head to clear it from sleep, he saw it wasn’t a doctor or a nurse as he had expected but Lee.

His son gave him a tentative smile before his gaze wandered to Laura. He looked slightly shocked at her appearance of course, he had never seen Laura without her wig or a headscarf before. Neither had Kara, but Lee was more sensitive when it came to such matters.

“How is she?”

“Surgery went well, and she woke up for a short while. She’s resting now.”

“That’s good to hear.”

Bill nodded at the other chair this room offered. Lee took a seat, looking from Bill to Laura and back again.

“How are you?”

“I’m fine.”

“Really?”

“It’s not me having cancer.”

“Watching a loved one suffer isn’t easy either. And it’s easy to see that you’re deeply in love with her.”

“It is?”

“Yeah, I’ve never seen you this peaceful before.”

“That comes from retirement.”

“And I’m a priest.”

“Yes, I do love her. I can’t be without her.” Lee nodded. “How are you, son?”

“I’m alright.”

“You don’t look fine. Anything bothering you?”

Although the answer was plain to see, Lee shook his head. “Really, I can’t complain.”

Bill decided to make it easy for him. What a strange day… first Kara, then Lee. “I know about Zak.”

Lee’s head snapped up. “What do you mean?”

“Kara spoke to me months ago.”

“She did? But why didn’t you tell me? Don’t you care? I mean…”

“I did care. I couldn’t look Kara in the eyes for weeks. And why shouldn’t I burden you with my knowledge, especially given your good relationship with her?”

“Former good relationship. But how did you know that this is about Zak?”

“Kara came to the hospital when Laura was still in surgery.”

“Did you leave a message about the surgery on her answering machine, too?”

“Yeah.”

“So she actually is home.”

“She wasn’t in the last three days.”

“She told you what happened?”

“What does it matter? How do you want to go on now?”

“What do you mean?”

“What were, what are your intentions towards Kara?”

“Dad, you know that I love her.”

“I do.”

“That won’t change. Yes, what she told me about Zak’s death shocked me, but it doesn’t change how I feel. I… I think I loved her from the very beginning.”

“So?”

“So what?”

“What now?”

“How should I know? I tried to call her, tried her cell phone, went to her apartment several times, but as you might know I couldn’t get a hold on her.”

“Well, I have a feeling she’ll be home tonight.”

“Would be wonderful.”

They sat together in silence for a while, both lost in their thoughts. Bill’s gaze was fixed on Laura, unable to pry it away.

“It’s funny,” Lee remarked. “What makes us strong is at the same time our greatest weakness.”

“That’s what love does to you.” It was certainly true. His hope, his happiness lay just a feet away from him. He had loved before; love had broken him. Never before, though, had he felt that his life was completely interwoven with that of another. Her joy was his, as was her pain. That he couldn’t share the burdens with her tortured him on a basic level. He’d gladly take her pain from her.

“Did they… did they take it all?”

He turned to Lee. “You mean if they took her whole breast?”

“Yeah.”

“No, they didn’t. They just took the tumour and as much of the surrounding area as they thought was necessary. But they took a lot.”

“Is there the possibility of cosmetic surgery?”

Bill nodded. “Definitely. But first there’ll be more treatment to make sure that nothing will come back.”

“Diloxin?”

“Yeah, but not in such a strong dosage as before. And there’ll be more radiation therapy.”

“How does she do it?” Bill followed Lee’s glance to the sleeping woman. “From where does she take her strength?”

“I don’t know, son. This illness is inhuman. To live for one good day per week, maybe two… I know that much a fine officer would’ve crumpled under the burden.”

“Laura is a special woman.”

“That she is.”

“Dad, I’m really glad you found her, and I whish the two of you all the best.”

“Thank you.”

It was a companionable silence, something they hadn’t shared in forever. Fleetingly, Bill asked himself how Zak would’ve reacted to Laura. He thought they might have gotten along well. He had been more temperamental than his older brother, less cautious. Zak would have liked Laura’s quirky humour. These thoughts were of no use, though; he could only deal with what he got.

“Will you try to go and see Kara again?”

Lee laughed quietly. “How could I not? She has my heart, for better or worse. Things might not work out, might go horribly wrong, but I have to try.”

“You’re doing the right thing.”

“The only thing. Love tends to make a fool out of all of us. But when did you know? Knew that you couldn’t live without Laura?”

Bill contemplated his answer. It wasn’t an easy one. “I’ve no idea. I only know that there came the day when I knew I didn’t want to be without her. First, it was dislike, then instant interest, the mystery why she always tried to push me away. Then there came friendship… the more I got to know her, the more I wanted to know.”

“Sounds like any good addiction.”

Bill chuckled. “That’s what love is too, don’t you think?”

“I do.“ Lee looked over to Laura. “Her breathing rhythm changes. I think she’ll wake up soon. I’ll give you some privacy now.”

Bill looked at Laura and noticed that his son was right. He got up, as did Lee, and the two men embraced.

“Call soon. Come to visit us.

“I will, dad. Give my regards to Laura.”

Lee was hardly out of the door when Laura’s eyes opened.

 

Bill was tired, deep circles visible under his eyes. She knew he hadn’t slept much, if at all while she had recovered from surgery. The whole last night, she had drifted in and out of sleep, unable to stay awake for more than a few minutes on a stretch. Each time, he had sat beside her bed, comforting her, murmuring sweet nothings into her ear. Now, he was exhausted, even when he loathed admitting it.

“Go home, Bill. Get some sleep.”

“I’m alright, Laura. I don’t wanna go home.”

“And it’s lovely that you want to stay here, but you have the chance to take a real shower and sleep in a real bed for some hours. And I won’t go anywhere. Most probably, I’ll sleep the most time, and if not, I still have the book I wanted to finish ages ago.”

“I won’t leave you alone.”

“And if I actually want that?”

He was surprised, the briefest hint of hurt flickered in his eyes. “Well, in that case…”

“Bill, I’m thankful that you’re here. I’m touched that you stayed the whole time, but to see you utterly exhausted doesn’t make me happy. It makes me feel guilty. Go home, take a shower, get some sleep and come back. It’s the best for all of us.”

He opened his mouth and closed it before he nodded and got up. “I’ll be back in the evening.”

“I count on it.”

He leaned down to kiss her, but she just granted him the briefest of kisses. “Believe me, I can’t wait for a nurse to come and help me clean up properly.”

“Love you.”

“Me too, Bill.”

He turned at the door. “Anything you want me to bring with me?”

“If you ask so nicely, I’d love to have my music player. And the black sweatpants. I forgot to pack them.”

“Will do. I could bring the chess game, too. For when you feel better in the next days.”

“Sounds lovely.”

“Just one more thing. While you were sleeping a nurse was so nice to send over a priest.”

“A priest? Did you expect the worst?”

“No, I asked if he could marry us tonight. If you feel up to it, that is.”

“Give me some more hours of sleep, and I’ll be fine. Maybe not the poster child of health, beauty and fitness, but I’ll be fine.”

“I’ll bring myself and the rings then.”

“Don’t forget the pants, the game and the player.”

“I won’t.”

“Good, now get outta here, or I’ll call security.”

“Yes, ma’am.” Giving her a last warm smile, he disappeared.

She sank back into bed, drained of all energy but giddy. She would marry after all, so be it. No big deal. It would just happen, just like Bill and she had happened. She fell into a light sleep that lasted until a nurse came, helping her to wash herself, brush her teeth and cover her too cold head with one of her scarves.

Her chest hurt as if someone had twisted a knife in it, but she didn’t ask for painkillers. It was a welcome pain, one that reminded her that something had gone right, that another step on her way to health had been achieved.

She tried to read but couldn’t concentrate on the book. Not being used to do absolutely nothing, she was restless. How should she survive some weeks here? Not that she didn’t agree with her doctors who said it was for the best to stay to give herself time to heal before the hopefully final round of treatment started. They argued that it was the best for her immune system; they were right. What to do now, though? She could try the television, but she hadn’t sunken that low yet. There was hardly anything worthwhile on it, and try as she might, she wasn’t up for educating documentaries or political debates.

She was reading the same page she had started before for another time when the door was opened. Kara entered, carrying a box and a broad smile.

“You look better today.”

“I do? When have you been here?”

“The old ma didn’t tell you about it? Where is he anyway?”

“He didn’t, and I sent him home.”

“And he listened to you? Well, if that’s not a sign that this is a match made in heaven.”

Laura slapped her book shut. “Please, have a seat. What did you bring?”

Kara gave her an almost shy smile before she flopped down on the offered seat. “It’s actually a selection of everything and nothing. Things I enjoyed when I was in the hospital. Granted, I was a child, but a hospital doesn’t become more interesting as an adult. And please don’t ask what brought me into hospital in the first place.”

Laura closed her mouth. “So dish. What’s in this magic box of yours?”

Kara opened it and handed it to Laura. “It’s comics – who can concentrate on serious reading here anyway? – a trash novel – when a bit of romance is wanted.” She grinned. “I was a teenager back then. Then there’s chocolate and other selected treats. They still have to invent a hospital with a good cuisine.”

“Thank you, Kara. That’s very sweet of you.” There was something about the Adama’s and their friends and relatives; Bill, Lee, Kara and from Bill’s side Saul were close knit in a way she and her friends had never been and would never be. “I’m not even in here for one day and feel bored out of my mind,” she admitted.

“Well, if you like, I could come to visit more often.”

“I’d like that, but I guess with work and your private life, you have better things to do.”

Kara shifted on her seat. “You’re family now.”

“As are you.”

“What do you mean?”

“You’ve been adopted into the Adama family long ago, but if I’m not mistaken, the strength of some bonds, bond has tightened.”

The young woman shook her head. “How do you do that? Read people that easily?”

“Former politician here. More or less everyone is your enemy, and you have to understand the subtle clues if you want to keep your job for any length of time. So it’s true then? You and Lee?”

A fine smile formed on Kara’s lips. “It’s new. Brand new. Hot from the press so to say.”

“I’m happy for you. Lee is a wonderful young man.”

“He is. Although I thought we couldn’t make it right again. Quite a few things happened while you were out of it.” She recounted what had transpired the last days.

“Lee came to see you yesterday?”

“Yeah, he did, and I couldn’t as much as voice a protest before…” she broke off.

Laura giggled involuntarily. “Before? It’s not fair to stop at the good part, you know? Let’s say he swept you off your feet?”

“Something like that. But I don’t ask you how you got to meet the old man better either, although…” Now, it was Kara laughing, her eyes twinkling. It had been a long time, many months since Laura had a simple talk between women. The last time had been with Sarah before she’d moved to Tauron. Kara was way younger than she, they hardly knew each other, yet there seemed to be an instant understanding for each other. Neither Kara nor she were ones to simply judge people nor did they try to see people in the light that suited them best.

“Well, you know that I met Bill on Galactica and then again at his ex-wife’s wedding?”

“You were there?”

“Yes, a former colleague knew the groom and had dragged me along. By the time Bill spotted me, I had already been abandoned for the eye candy of the moment.”

“Which man in his right mind would let you sit there all alone for some cheap substitute?”

“Who says it was a cheap substitute?”

“Well, anyone referred to as ‘eye candy’ is most likely tall, has quite a rack and not enough brain cells to make up for it.”

Laura laughed. “Something like that, yeah. But Samuel has always been like that. I knew what to expect. Never mind that he’s a great guy when he doesn’t try to get under anyone’s skirt.”

“I’ll take your word for that. But back to the old man.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

Kara rolled her eyes. “You’re awfully chipper for someone barely out of surgery. And they say I am bratty. But please, go on.”

“Alright. Truth to be told, I didn’t see Bill, but he spotted me. I wasn’t all that happy to see him again. Our first meeting had been too strained. Anyway, to keep things short, we both weren’t comfortable at the wedding, so we started to talk. We left not that much later. I mean, I didn’t have any business there, and Bill didn’t have that much fun in seeing his ex-wife marry. Don’t get me wrong, I’m sure he was honestly happy for her, but to see the one with whom you share the memories of a failed marriage marry anew can’t be comfortable.”

“So you left to where?” Kara waggled her eyebrows, and Laura sweated her arm.

“Nothing happened. We went for cocktails and shared a taxi home.”

“End of story? I hardly think.”

“No, otherwise we two wouldn’t be here today. Something nearly happened, but I ran away. My cancer. It wasn’t fair to burden anyone with it, even if it was just a man you can’t decide whether you like him or want to kick his sorry ass.”

“And in the end, you decided you liked him?”

“Not really. I tried to kiss his sorry ass, but he wouldn’t budge.”

“Yeah, the Adama men. Once they decide they want something, they can be pretty persistent.”

“To say the least.”

“Well, it was good that the old man didn’t give up on you.”

“Even if I’m a former drug addict, jumping each and any man?”

Kara watched her for a long moment before she broke into a grin. “Even then.” She took a piece of chocolate out of the box. “Want one too?”

“Yes, I’d love one.” Laura tried to sit up straight in bed, but success came with a sharp pain that seemed to split her chest in two. A pained groan escaped her.

“Are you okay? Do you need anything? I’m sorry.”

“What for? It’s quite normal to feel like, excuse me for saying it, shit. There’s a huge hole in my left breast now.”

Kara handed Laura the offered piece of chocolate. “What are you going to do?”

Laura sighed. Even thinking about what lay ahead of her made her want to lie down and close her eyes again. “First, they have to make sure that the cancer is really gone, then there can be cosmetic surgery.” Laura snorted. “I can’t wait to take a peek under the bandage.”

To her surprise, Kara reached out, placing a hand on Laura’s. “You’ve come that far. Don’t let this drag you down. I’ve seen enough bitter people. People, who were living and breathing but were dead on the inside. You’re so full of life. It’s just a few weeks, months and you’ll be done with this whole mess.”

“So say we all.”

“Yeah, so say we frakking all.” Kara leaned back in her chair. “Has there ever been a point when you had been afraid of trying?”

Shadows of anxiety and sadness danced in Kara’s eyes. Something had hurt her profoundly in the past, it had to be more than Zak’s death. But depending on the wound, she wouldn’t open up to anyone. Some pain would always be too real, and there was no good in opening Pandora’s box. Laura herself had her memories that were kept in a closet besides of the few times they reared their ugly heads. Thinking about her mother’s last days would always knock the breath out of her, it weren’t memories she’d ever willingly share. To bury memories and emotions might not be healthy, but it wouldn’t do to crumble under them either.

“No, I’ve never been afraid of dying. Sometimes I even wished for a fast end.”

“What happened?”

Laura chuckled. “Bill happened.”

“And before?”

“My life didn’t have any direction. It didn’t seem quite worth the effort.”

“Don’t I know it?” Kara mumbled.

“What happened?”

“Touché. First Zak, and now Lee happened. I… I want to give this thing with Lee a real chance. With him, I feel calm. A feeling I hardly know. It just feels right to be with him.” Kara took another piece of chocolate, offering more to Laura, too. “Laura? May I ask another question, but please tell me if I go too far.”

“Sound intriguing. Just shoot.”

“You and the president… how? Why?”

“Oh Gods, I can’t believe how long ago this seems. Richard and I… I guess it was simple attraction. There was interest from the beginning. And yes, I knew he was married.”

“Hey, I’m not one to judge. I bet you’re still a saint in comparison,” Kara teased.

“I wouldn’t bet on it if I were you.”

“Really, so tell me something out of…”

They were interrupted by Laura’s doctor who came in with two nurses.

Kara got up quickly. “I’ll be back.”

“Give my regards to Lee.”

A smile lit up Kara’s face once more. “Will do.” She leaned forward, brushing her lips against Laura’s cheek. It was a move that surprised Laura, though in a pleasant way.

“Bye, Kara.”

“See ya, Laura.”

 

The doctor and the nurses left again some minutes later.

Sinking back into her pillow, she sighed. The painkillers the doctor had ordered her to take made her drowsy. She sank into a deep sleep.

 

It wasn’t the first time he was home without Laura, but the knowledge that she wouldn’t be here for weeks made all the difference in the world. As a soldier on one ship after the other, he had learned to live alone. His privacy had become such an integral part of his being that the times he’d spent with his family had felt crowded. But time had moved on, he had become older and, as he hoped, a bit wiser. His priorities had shifted, one of the first now was to make his relationship with Laura last. Bill didn’t believe in the one great love, he believed that people could fit with a couple of others if there was only enough common ground, attraction and understanding between them. But he didn’t believe in all too many chances. There were only a few people who could make a special partner for one, who seemed to blend with oneself to form a lasting bond. Laura was such a special human being. She was special to him. Well, he’d just have to accept that the stay in the hospital was necessary, and at the end of the day, ultimately a good thing.

He had left the shower, had put on some sweats and tanks and was on his way to the bedroom when the telephone rang.

“Yes.”

“Hello, is Laura in?”

“And you are?”

“My name is Samuel Walker. I’m a former colleague of Laura.”

“I know who you are.” What did this guy want from Laura, after this time no less?

“You do? I hope Laura had something good to tell about me as well. Although I doubt it. Anyway, is she in?”

“No, she isn’t. And how did you get this number?”

The man at the other end of the line laughed, a deep, rich sound. “Wasn’t easy. I tried at her old apartment, only got to talk to the new owner. He knew the name of the real estate agent of course. My luck that she was female. Even so, it wasn’t easy to obtain the information.”

The guy sounded unrepentant.

“When will Laura be back?”

“Not for some time.”

Now, there was a sigh. “Listen, I tried her cell phone with no luck. I start to feel worried.”

“Why do you want to talk to her after all this time anyway? If it’s something urgent, I can relay a message so that Laura can decide for herself if she wants to get in touch with you.”

“Look, I know I’ve been an asshole. That’s who I am, and it won’t change. I’m too old now to change anyway. Ask Laura, she can tell you that I lose my head when I get to know a new woman. I know it wasn’t true love, but I enjoyed the ride for as long as it lasted. I neglected everyone else. I miss Laura, and I’m sorry.”

“You should be.”

“As I said, I am. I shouldn’t have lost contact after the thing with Richard came out.”

“I agree.”

“Listen, will you give me her contact details now or not?”

There was something honest in the way Samuel spoke. He was an idiot, but he knew it. It reminded Bill a bit of Saul. So who was he to judge Laura’s friends? “Laura’s in hospital.”

“By the Gods, what happened?”

“She had surgery.”

“Why? What was the problem?”

“It’s not my place to share this information. I’ll tell Laura tonight that you called, and it’ll be up to her if she wants to get in contact with you.”

“Fair enough. Give my regards to her.”

“I will.”

“Thanks.” The line went dead.

Bill wondered how Laura and Samuel came to be friends in the first place. Where she was orderly, reliable, he seemed to be everything but. Maybe another case of opposites attract. Just like Saul and he.

A yawn escaped him, and he decided it was time to get some real sleep. He wanted to be awake when he married Laura. The thought to officially seal the bond between them made him happy. After Carolanne, he hadn’t thought he would ever want to marry again, but with Laura, it seemed to be inevitable, something he wanted to do. Bill knew he wouldn’t love again, not that intense, not when he didn’t have that many years left. It was either Laura or no one.

Lying down, he found that he still could smell her. It comforted him, and he sank into a deep slumber.

 

They sat side by side on the too small bed, their fingers entwined, two hands showing wedding bands now. Bill couldn’t remember when he had last felt that peaceful. It hadn’t been a grant affair, no romantic ceremony; just two people joining hearts in front of a priest. Ten minutes was all it had taken. But the lack of decorum didn’t mean that the feelings were any less real, quite the contrary. Despite not knowing each other for years, they didn’t need to scream their love from the top of the roots. And even the most exquisite dress, the grandest party wouldn’t have made Laura look more beautiful. To see her eyes sparkle with happiness was all he ever needed.

“So, you’re going to take on my name?” She nudged his side.

“Bill Roslin? Sorry, but it doesn’t sound quite right.”

“I think it sounds cute.”

“Yeah, and that’s the problem. What about Laura Adama?”

“Too stern.”

“But you can appear quite stern if you want to.”

“But right now, I don’t want to be.”

“Well, I never thought there was anything wrong with Bill Adama and Laura Roslin anyway.” He leaned over to kiss the tip of her nose.

“Bill Adama, don’t coddle me.”

“I wouldn’t dare.”

“One thing’s a pity, though.”

“Which is?”

“That we can’t celebrate our wedding the traditional way.”

“Believe me, we’ll make up for it.”

“Is this a threat or a promise?” Her mouth twitched from contained laughter.

“Both.”

This time when he kissed her, it was lingering, deeper. He couldn’t help but treat her carefully though, trying to not put too much weight onto her, to not cause her any discomfort.

“Samuel called today. He wanted to speak to you,” Bill said when he reluctantly parted from Laura, but in her weakened state, carnal thoughts should be the last on his mind.

“Samuel? What did he want?”

“I have no idea. I only told him that you’re in hospital and that it was up to you if you wanted to call him or not.”

“So he has broken up with his latest girlfriend.”

“You know him well, don’t you?”

“Yeah, we know each other for a long time.”

“You like him, don’t you?”

“Very much. He’s one of the warmest and kindest men when he’s not busy chasing one woman or the other.”

“Then you’ll call him?”

“Yes, I will. I miss him. Sometimes, I miss my old life with all its complications.”

“I’m sorry.”

“About what?”

“Urging you to quit your job.”

Laura shook her head, shifting lightly so that her head came to rest on his chest. “It was my own decision, and see how far we’ve come.”

She was right, but wasn’t she nearly always?

A yawn escaped her, and he kissed the top of her head. “Sleep a bit, Mrs. Adama.”

She chuckled drowsily. “I will, Mr. Roslin.”

TBC


	15. Chapter 15

Smiling, he entered the room, carrying a huge bouquet of flowers in one hand, a box of chocolates in the other. Behind him, Laura could see the smiling nurse who had opened the door for him. To his credit, he didn’t look shocked or surprised at her appearance. It might be the wig, though. Laura didn’t even know why she had bothered with it when it was an old friend coming to visit her. Maybe it was because Samuel had a keen eye for beauty and she didn’t want to remind him why he usually only bothered with women several years his junior. It was a vain notion, but there were times to admit vulnerability, and this wasn’t one of them.

“Laura, it’s good to see you.”

“I’m surprised you still know me.”

He sighed, rolling his eyes. Spotting a vase, he placed the flowers on the table and walked over to her small sink where he filled the vase with water. With the flowers in it, he put it amongst all the other vases that crowded her table. “I’m sorry, Laura. For not staying in contact, for not being there for you when this… this shit with Richard happened. For not being there when you became ill.” He looked contrite.

Laura knew he was sincere. He had a good heart, never lied, was supportive. At least for as long as no new woman caught his eye. “So what happened?” she asked when he had taken a seat.

He handed her the box of chocolates, and opening it, she was surprised to find it contained a selection of her favourites. She chose a nougat one, offering it to Samuel who took one as well.

“What do you mean?”

“What happened to the last love of your life?”

“Oh, that.”

“Yes, that.”

“Well, she started to talk of marriage, incessantly. And, which was even more ridiculous, children.”

“Since when are you reluctant to marry?”

“Good one, Laura. But I really don’t know. It just didn’t seem right. It was fun with her, at least for a while, but then… I… well, there’s more to life than just fun.”

“Samuel Walker. Don’t tell me you intend to grow up at old age?”

He swatted her arm playfully. “Don’t you worry. The next woman which will hold my interest will make me lose my head again, I’m sure. Or did you reconsider us by now?”

“Us?”

“Yeah, you and me, love for all eternity.”

“Well, I’m so not sorry to break the news to you, but I already found someone.”

“So I figured. And he’s rather protective of you as well. As he should be.”

“I’m no one’s possession.”

“That’s not what I meant. So is it something serious with the two of you?”

Laura chuckled. “You might say that. After all, we married.” This time, she had shocked him, she could see it on his face.

“You’re kidding me.”

“No, I’m not.” She showed him her wedding band.

He took her hand into his, placing a light kiss on the back of hers. “Congratulations.”

“Thank you.”

“Hmm, it’s funny. I never thought I’d see the day you marry, but here we are. So I can bury all the plans I had for us.”

“As if something could have ever happened between the two of us.”

“Do you think it’s so unlikely?”

Laura chose another piece of chocolate. “Of course, it is. I’m not your type and not one to warm a guy’s bed just like that.”

“As if I wanted that. It’s not what I would’ve wanted from you.”

“Intriguing. So what would you’ve wanted from me?”

“Everything, of course. You’re one to marry, Laura.”

For a moment, something flared between them, only to be replaced by mutual understanding that this particular train had left the station long since.

“It seems Bill agreed with you on that.”

“Smart guy. You’ll have to introduce us sometime.”

“Sure, if you’re not busy with the next body then.”

He sighed and raised his hands in defence. “I think I deserved this. I really didn’t call you since you dropped out of business, did I?”

“No calls. And the last time we spoke, you were more interested in the gossip anyway.”

“Now, you hurt me.”

“It’s still true.” Gods, she had missed him. It was so easy to talk to him, and somehow he always managed to take at least part of the sting out of any given situation.

“Oh well. But you have to admit that it was shocking news. You and the president, who would have thought?”

“Obviously, not you.”

“Hey, I thought you had better taste than to frak Richard.”

Laura snorted. “What? He’s not your type?”

“No, not really. I’m more into women, in case you didn’t notice.”

“How could I not?”

“So how was he in bed?”

Leave it to Samuel to ask the question everyone else had avoided. She shouldn’t even think about answering. “Well, if you take into account that we rarely ever saw a bed, it wasn’t all that bad.”

Samuel laughed out. “There’s more to you than meets the eye.”

“You only notice that now?”

“Let’s say I forgot it for a while. Anyway, have you had any contact with Richard since?”

“No. I barely noticed the uproar in the press and the news either. Thanks to the well-times move, I didn’t even have any reporters on my heels.”

He laughed again, taking a piece of chocolate, chewing it carefully before he spoke. “Then you missed out a lot. Uproar hardly begins to describe it. The Quorum spoke of removing him from office. Every suggestion he mad in the last few years was investigated. Reporters huddled close in front of his residence, newspapers asked if we could trust such a man. And those were only the more or less serious sources. The tabloids went crazy, posting pictures of Richard’s crying wife, his children. There was a lot of talk about a divorce, and if you ask me, she will file for divorce as soon as his next term is up. Never mind that we all know that he won’t be re-elected.”

Laura bit he bottom lip. She felt bad for hurting Richard’s wife like that. Although they didn’t know each other well, they had had a good time whenever they had met. How deep had this betrayal hurt her? True, if it hadn’t been she, Richard would have frakked some other woman, yet it didn’t make it right.

“Laura, you’re not a bad person.”

Had Samuel taken up mind-reading? “I’m not so sure about it.”

“You are human, that’s all. Sorry, but even little Miss Roslin isn’t perfect. Or would that be Misses – wasn’t his name Adama? – now?”

“No, it’s still Roslin. I’m too old to get used to another name.”

“I beg to disagree, but suit yourself.”

They talked for nearly two hours, about politics, her illness and treatment, Samuel’s chaotic private life.

When he had left, Laura swore to herself that she wouldn’t let that much time pass again before she talked to him next. She had missed him, wanted him in her life, no matter how unreliable he could be from time to time.

 

The day Bill could finally take Laura home, he was close to tears. Treatment had nearly put her over the edge. She was only skin and bones, had to take his arm for support to walk with him toward his car. It had only been four weeks, but it had been more than enough time to gnaw at her fragile state of body. Yes, the scans had come up clean; yes, she was officially into remission now, but he couldn’t feel any joy about it yet. They had told him to take care of her, to keep her basically locked away for a while to give her weakened immune system a chance to recover. He would do it, of course, but knowing Laura, she’d feel restless within the week. For now, though, he’d pamper her as well as he could.

“I feel like I could sleep for a month,” she said when she had buckled up.

“Well, I won’t stop you.”

“No, it’s not an option. I’m so happy to finally leave the hospital. Even in a room of my own, with all of you constantly visiting, it just didn’t feel right. There’s no privacy to be had in a hospital. I’m sick of hospitals to last a lifetime. Just take me home, will you?”

Home, yeah, he would take her home. Did she even have an idea that it didn’t feel like home without her there? He returned her smile, igniting the car.

Laura didn’t talk much during the drive and neither did Bill. Laura was exhausted; Bill couldn’t quite shake the memories of Laura being paler and more tired each time he had come to visit. When it had begun to subdue her usual fierce spirit, it had really started to scare him. It was as different kind of pain to watch a loved one suffer, a pain that didn’t bruise any less than any physical wound; only it was nothing anyone could see. No, it was time they both got some rest.

After a while, Laura sighed quietly. “Remind me to look for a job next week. After all that stuff that has happened, weed and Richard, there won’t be many people who would like to employ me.”

He took a deep breath. This had come faster than he had expected. “Laura. At the moment, you shouldn’t think about work, but about getting some rest.”

“I’ve rested long enough.”

“You fought cancer. That’s not my idea of rest.”

“I did, but it’s time to move on now.”

“Woman, give it a rest. Let’s talk about it when you actually feel up to it.”

“Bill…”

“No, Laura. I understand that you want to leave all of this behind you as fast as possible, but the truth is you’re too weak to contemplate anything at the moment.”

“Yes, sir.”

It made him chuckle. “Never thought I’d see the day when I hear you say that.”

She sat up straighter in her seat. “You already heard me say that.”

“I did? When?”

“How fast you forget. The day we met first. On Galactica.” She smiled at him, tired but the joy in her eyes was real.

He remembered it now. How he had shown her his ship, how he had detested having her there, their discussion about networks. It seemed like a lifetime ago, and surprised, he realised that he hadn’t thought of Galactica in weeks. What had been his life before seemed like a distant past now.

“You were annoying back then,” he said gruffly.

“As were you,” she replied grinning.

“You tried to teach me on my own ship.”

“I used to be a teacher.”

“My ship.”

“You’ll never forget that, will you?”

“Never,” he grinned at her. “But I’ll let you make it up to me once you’re fitter.”

“Hey, who says you shouldn’t make it up to me? After all, you were rude to me.”

“Hmm, where does this leave us?”

“We could try to make it up to each other.”

“Yeah.”

She sighed again. “It’s been ages, hasn’t it?”

“Since I got to make love my beautiful wife?”

“You never made love to your wife. And don’t even start with this beautiful nonsense.”

“Laura, you are beautiful.”

“Yeah, and so is your friend Saul.”

He chuckled. “Believe me, bald looks better on you. And your hair will grow back now.”

“It will take years.”

“We have years. Believe it or not, there’s more to life than hair.”

“If you say so.”

“I do.”

They had reached their destination, and Bill parked the car, taking Laura’s arm to help her out of it. He thought about getting her bag out of the trunk when another idea struck him. Without further preamble, he lifted Laura, sweeping her up in his arms. Gods, she was so light, didn’t weigh more than a pubescent girl.

“Bill, let me down. What do you think you’re doing?”

“Ain’t it clear?”

“Not really, no.”

“I’m carrying my wife over the threshold.”

“And next you’ll serve me breakfast in bed?”

“All part of the service.”

“And you’ll be my devoted love slave?”

He looked down at her. She was grinning, and he simply had to grin back. “Aren’t I always?”

It was a struggle to open the door without dropping Laura in the process, but he managed. He carried her all the way to their bedroom. Laura was giggling and teasing him about old-fashioned rituals, but he couldn’t have cared less. She was back where she belonged. Maybe he should chain her to the bed just in case... he shook his head at himself.

“Bill, what the frak were you just thinking about?”

“Nothing, love.”

He helped her under the covers after she had stripped out of her shoes.

She let out a sigh. “A real bed. Our bed. I might never leave it again.”

He kissed her forehead. “I knew you’d see sense sometime.”

She rolled her eyes at him, and he kissed her again, this time on the mouth. “Sleep now. It’ll be good for you. No one will disturb you, I promise.” He watched her closing her eyes. Her breathing started to even out before he had even reached the doorstep.

He needed a drink. He had Laura back, really had her back.

 

Laura came from the shower, wrapped in a towel. Bill seemed to be still in the kitchen, supervising their cake, talking to Saul. She knew that his friendships had taken a backseat in the last months, so it made her happy to see he was about to catch up, even if it was with a frakweasel like Saul Tigh.

The clothes she had picked before her shower lay on the bed, waiting to be put on. She looked at the clothes before she looked down herself, reluctantly pulling the towel away. In the two weeks she was home, she had regained some of her strength, but her body still looked like a battlefield. She detested it. Her ribs were way too prominent, her skin pale, numerous veins visible, even in the soft afternoon light. Then there were her breasts. She hardly dared look at them, too painful the view. The right one, the good one had lost its roundness, its supple fullness; it was just a sad reminder of something she had once considered beautiful. The left one, the source of all her recent pain, fear and frustration was downright ugly. There was a hole on its left side. She shuddered. Where once had been a tumour was nothing but a huge scar now. The doctor had said that if she progressed as well as she had until today, they’d be able to do cosmetic surgery in two months or three. For that long, she’d have to bear the view each time she undressed. It was laughable, really. How could she tell anyone that each time she wore a bra, she had to fill it up with wad? Laura snorted. Why didn’t she accept the truth? She was ugly, any days of physical beauty long since over.

Strong hands grabbed her upper arms from behind, startling her. She hadn’t noticed Bill had stopped talking.

“You shouldn’t think so much,” he said, breathing a kiss onto her neck.

Despite her self-reproach, her body trembled from the tender caress. It had been too long since she had been able to consume her desire for Bill, although she doubted her reaction to him would ever dim. These thoughts were stupid, though. If she thought she looked like hell, what should Bill think?

He had seen her naked a dozen times and more since she had come home, every time a compliment or a smile on his lips. But even the kindest words were just little white lies.

“I’m not thinking.”

His broad chest sought nearer contact until she was pressed fully against his body. “What are you doing then?”

“Trying to accept the truth.”

“What truth?”

“That I look dreadful, and that it won’t change anytime soon or maybe never.”

Of all the reactions she could have imagined, laughter wasn’t one. His chuckle reverberated in the broad cavern of his chest, resonating in her own body.

“Don’t laugh at me, Bill,” she nearly hissed.

He stepped back, turning her to him so that he could look into her eyes. “Do you really think beauty is defined by being a little too thin and a marred breast?” He was sincere, still he couldn’t comfort her.

“Gods, Bill. It’s all of it. I look like hell.”

He shook his head. “I see incredibly long legs, a petite waist, breasts that beg for the loving attention of a man, lips I ache to kiss and the most luminous, beautiful eyes I have ever seen.”

“You’re a liar.”

Anger flashed in his eyes. “I’d do a lot of things, but lying to you isn’t one of them. You should know you can believe me.”

“I should? Why?”

Why couldn’t she just let it go? Why did she spoil for a fight? “Dammit, Laura. And if you consider yourself ugly, what should I think of myself?”

“What do you mean?”

“Open your eyes. Thanks to scars, my face looks like a train wreck, I’m sturdy, not really thin…”

But to her, he looked, was perfect as he was. “I know what you mean, Bill, but…” she looked down herself. “What I see here looks alien. That’s not me. It’s not how I used to look.”

“Give it time. We can be happy that you’re alive. You know yourself how likely that was.”

“Hey, it was you who told me I’d make it.”

“And you did.” He closed the minute distance between them, brushing his lips against hers.

Holding her at arm’s length, she could see everything he could possibly say in his eyes. She hoped he could read the same things in hers.

“Well, I should get dressed.”

His eyes gleamed aroused. “Don’t bother. Not for me.”

Biting her lip, she wanted to bit back her remark, but found she couldn’t. “I still don’t like what I see, and the sooner I put on some clothes, the sooner I won’t have to look at it any longer.”

Bill sighed. “I wished I…”

“You can’t.”

Suddenly, for on apparent reason, he smiled. “Can you wait her for a moment?”

“What are you planning now?”

“To get the cake out of the oven. Just wait here like you are for five minutes.”

“Bill, don’t…”

“Do you trust me?”

What a question. There was no one she trusted more, and he should know it. “Bill…”

“Do you?”

“Yes, and you should bloody know it.”

“Then wait.” He turned, leaving her alone.

What was the point in letting her wait here naked? He knew she hated it. Did he think it would become better if he only gave her time to look at her battered body for some minutes longer?

Sitting down on the bed, she hugged her knees to her chest. Somehow it was sad. Tabloids and magazines told women they should be skinny, the thinner, the better. If that was her personal standard, she’d be perfect. But that wasn’t what she wanted. This was not how a woman should look like, at least not in her opinion.

Lost in her thoughts, she didn’t hear Bill return. His weight on the mattress beside her alerted her to his presence.

“I want you, Laura.”

His simple statement took her completely by surprise, not that she didn’t want him too, but…

“I need you.”

“Bill…”

“Do you want me, Laura?”

The few words were enough for her body to tremble in response. Even in hospital, she had often dreamed of his touch, craving the nearness, the sensuality of making love to him. But she had been too weak, there had been no privacy. Now, though, she wasn’t all that drained anymore. What should stop her? Maybe it would even make her forget if just for a little while. “Yes, I do.”

He got up, and only now did she see that he carried a bowl in his hands. A bowl with whipped cream?

He placed it on the nightstand, moved back to the foot of the bed where he slowly undressed.

Did he even have any idea what the sight was doing to her? How much she loved it when he bared his strong chest to her? When the muscles of his arms flexed? Her eyes followed the movement of his hands unbuckling his belt; his trousers were the next item of clothing to sink to the ground. He took his time with his socks, his boxer briefs. Finally, though, he was naked as she was.

Roaming his body with her eyes, she enjoyed the view, the feeling of anticipation that built inside of her. No matter how bad she felt about herself, the sight of his naked body was one that never failed to raise the need in her to be close to him. She wanted to bask in his warmth, his solidity, and if quite a different need arose in them, who was she to complain?

Bill stepped forward, coming to rest in front of their bed. Laura reached out, her hands needing the feeling of his skin under her fingertips. His skin was soft. Yet not as soft as hers. She drew patterns on his stomach, his chest. For a minute, he bore her explorations then he took her hands into his.

“Lay down.”

“And if not?”

“I’ll make you.”

She grinned up at him. “What? Do you want to tie me up?”

“If I have to.” His gaze was pure heat that warmed her skin from the simple way he looked at her.

“Who said I wouldn’t like it?”

“You would. Maybe next time.”

She leaned forward, placed the lightest of kisses, a barely-there touch on his stomach. His stomach muscles contracted lightly. Her touch excited him as much as his excited her. “So we’re really going to do this? After all this time?”

“You bet we will.”

A sigh escaped her, and she wished she could prolong the feeling of anticipatory happiness. Another brief kiss then she did as he had asked, taking up a comfortable position in the middle of the bed. “And now?”

“Now, I’m going to paint you.”

“With what?”

He stepped around the bed, took up the bowl on the nightstand. “Whipped cream. What did you think?”

She giggled, and why not? It had been ages since any kind of sweet sin had made its way into her bedroom. Not that she had had the time or opportunity with Richard. “I’ll end up sticky.”

“I’ll clean you up.”

He would. She knew he would. The thought of his mouth dancing over her body, his tongue licking at her skin made her shiver all over.

Dipping a fingertip into the bowl, he sat down on the bed, his finger reaching out for her to lick the whipped cream from his digit. She could do that. Her mouth enfolded it completely, her tongue trailed it up and down, cleaned it from any trace of the delicious, sweet treat. The moment he groaned, she let go of his finger. She might be the one lying down, but it didn’t mean that two couldn’t play the game. His eyes told her he could read her thoughts quite well, and he approved. This time, instead of letting her lick the cream from his finger, he smeared it over her lips. His tongue followed a second later, only the tip of it ghosting over her lips, sampling the cream. Laura moaned at the tingling sensation.

Bill was entranced by the sight of her. How could she ever think she wasn’t beautiful when she was breathtaking to him? Every single imperfection wasn’t a flaw but something that made her special, unique in her own way.

His body began to react to her, his flesh hard at the thought of consuming this woman. But it wasn’t the time to take her hard and sudden, although his body might disagree. This was a time for tender, gentle exploration, a time to reconnect, to rediscover.

Another dollop of cream was smeared along her neck. He took his time to clean her, nibbling her tender skin along the way. It prickled, each touch of his mouth, his tongue, his teeth igniting more nerve endings. Not long and she writhed on the bed. Her body that had gone without Bill’s touch for months reacted instantly so she found herself wet, aching to be filled by him after only a few minutes. But she didn’t even try to make him hurry. If Bill had a plan, he’d stick to it no matter what. This man could be stubborn like a mule. Willing herself to surrender to his ministrations, she let herself be carried away.

He painted her neck, her stomach, her legs, her inner thighs with the sticky, sweet cream, meticulously cleaning each area afterwards. Still, he wouldn’t go where she wanted him most, neglecting where her body’s need was the sharpest.

“Bill,” she moaned when he gently bit the sensitive skin right over her hipbone.

“Yes, love?”

“Don’t toy with me, dammit.”

He chuckled but complied, applying cream to her right nipple with a sure stroke. When his tongue made contact, her body arched up into the touch, a jolt of arousal running through her body, pooling at her core. He suckled the taut peak with abandon, and she thought she might come from this alone if he kept it up.

Another dram of cream, this time on her left breast, her scared one. She stiffened, the sudden urge to cover nearly overwhelming.

“Relax, Laura. You are beautiful. Let me show you how much.”

It was an easy thing for him to say. Her eyes fell shut when he gently bit her nipple, laving it with his tongue afterwards.

Bill watched her every reaction when he paid attention to her breast. She relaxed slightly, and he took it as a sign to continue, one of his hands easing between her legs. She bucked at the unexpected touch but didn’t shy away. She was slick with need, making his cock throb at the thought he could have her now. Not yet, though. Not yet.

One finger slipped inside of her. She moaned. He let it slide in and out of her a few times before adding a second one. Never once stopping to caress her breast, suckling her tender nipple, he set a leisure rhythm with his fingers, his thumb finding her clitoris, aiding his aim to make her forget everything.

Her senses were on overload, the multiple stimulations driving her further and further toward the brink. She bit her lip, but still more loud moans were forthcoming. As she pushed her hips into his hand, his fingers sped up, frakking her harder, faster. She was riding a constant wave of arousal that was about to throw her over the edge.

When a third finger joined the other two the same time his thumb pressed down hard on her clit, she came undone. Hips arching off the bed, her body convulsed around the intruding yet so welcome fingers.

Easing her down as gentle as he could, Bill waited until she had come down from the height of her orgasm. He loved how she looked in these moments, slightly flushed, a soft smile on her face, her body relaxed. Only when her eyes opened, he slid out of her body. It was a nearly painful effort not to replace his fingers with his erection, but what would be a few more minutes?

Sitting down between her spread legs, he urged her to bend them, to spread them as far as she could.

“Bill?”

“Just do it.”

Understanding flared in her eyes as his fingers dipped into the cream. On her mons, between her tender lips, along her opening, and finally on top of her swollen nub. Laura shivered under his caresses, Bill growled. A primal hunger filled him, and his mouth literally watered at the thought of tasting the mixture of Laura and whipped cream. He bent down.

Laura had thought she was sated for the moment, but the instant Bill’s tongue began to lap at her with an expression on his face that was almost feral, her desire flared alive anew. He licked, lapped, sucked like a cat would its cream. Her hips bucked up, and one of Bill’s hands came to rest on her stomach to steady her.

Fingers clutched the sheet beneath her, toes curled when he hit another sensitive spot. She felt wanton, inhibited, free. She felt alive.

Only when he had cleaned all other areas to the point that there was nothing left, he moved to the area that fascinated him most, the pleasure point that never failed to send her into ecstasy. Wishing he could frame this moment for all eternity, he knew it was a foolish notion for nothing lasted forever.

Despite her earlier orgasm, it didn’t take much to make her come again. One lick over her sensitive bundle of nerves, a second just with only the tip of his tongue to reach a half hidden dollop of cream, then finally a third lap teasing her with a barely there touch. She came apart with a loud moan, and he watched her mesmerised. Without conscious thought, he slipped a finger into her just to feel her contract around him.

Her breathing was ragged. It took her a few minutes to calm down, for cooler thoughts to prevail. But when she felt her composure back, she looked at Bill who had stretched out beside her.

“Thank you.”

“My pleasure.”

Although he was lying still, she saw the tension in his every muscle. Reaching out, she placed her hand onto his erection. He drew in a ragged breath.

“Laura.”

“Yes, Bill?”

Even though she could have stayed like this, feeling sated and nearly unreal, she wanted to give him a taste of his own medicine. And who said that he had the night to consume all their cream? Smiling sweetly, she sat up, urged him onto his back before she sat down between his legs, reaching for the bowl of cream.

He tried to relay, to calm down, but it was impossible. This was the sweetest torture. It would be entirely possible to lose himself in the act, to drown in the sensations created by Laura’s nimble hands and mouth. However, to explode in her mouth, enjoyable as it was, wasn’t what he wanted. Not this time. He wanted to come inside of her, wanted to be joined with her in the most natural of ways. Nothing could ever feel as natural as being with her. She went down on him again, but if she didn’t stop right now, it would be too late.

“Stop.”

Laura sat up, grinned at him, her tongue sneaking out, wetting her lips. His cock throbbed in her hand. “Don’t you enjoy yourself?”

“Too much.”

“So you want to be inside of me?”

“Yeah.” He moved to sit up, but she pushed him back down.

“Not this time.” Without giving him as much as the chance to protest, she straddled him, moving her wet folds over his member.

He groaned. “Laura.”

Although she loved to tease him, she needed, wanted him inside of her. Sinking down on his cock, she enclosed it in her wet heat. They both groaned out when he had slid into the hilt.

Her plan had been to take him slowly, to savour the contact, but she found her body wasn’t able to resist the allure.

He was too keyed up, and so was she once more. She rode him fast, took him hard, his hands on her hips guiding her movements, his hips thrusting in counter rhythm.

The pull to close his eyes was strong, but Bill found he was unable to look away from her. She had her head thrown back, was lost in the moment. Tiny beads of sweat clung to her neck, some pooling in the valley between her breasts. Bared to him in all her vulnerability, she had never been more beautiful to him. Laura raked sensuality, glowed from the outside and the inside. The foolish wish that the moment might never end passed his mind. In fact, it was only a few meagre minutes until the point of no return was near for him. Laura had come twice before, she wouldn’t come just like that. Not that fast. One of his hands left her hip, reached between their bodies. He knew her body well, too well according to her, finding her clit instantly without fail, the sweet pressure of his thumb stroking it enough to have her fall apart for another time. She took Bill with her, both shuddering from the sensations.

Laura needed a minute to catch her breath then she parted from Bill, searching the warmth of his embrace.

They were both still slightly sticky, and Laura had to giggle at how it felt.

“We need a shower.”

“You already had one,” Bill said drowsily.

“And thanks to you, I need another one. As do you.”

“In a minute.”

His arm tightened around her. He was first to fall asleep, but she followed him a minute later.

He was late. Of course, he was late. Laura had known what to expect, had even briefed Bill about it, but it didn’t stop him from checking his watch in random intervals.

“Relax. He’ll be here sooner or later.”

“A fine friend that is more than half an hour late.”

“Sorry, Bill, but I’d take Samuel over Saul any day.”

“Which proves that there really is no accounting for taste.”

“True. But I’m sure you’ll like him quite fine.”

“Don’t put your hopes up too high.”

“I don’t. Believe me, I don’t.”

Any further discussion was prevented by the ringing of the doorbell. Laura walked toward the door, feeling more self-conscious as she would have liked. Sure, the wig almost looked natural, but that was it. There was a fine distinction between ‘almost’ and the real thing. But her real hair would only grow back in a few weeks, her body needed its time to find its footing again. Even if Samuel was an old and dear friend, the thought to be vulnerable in front of him was a scary one. It was bad enough he’d seen her at her worst in the hospital, but she couldn’t hide from life forever.

He was grinning broadly when she opened the door, enfolding her in a hug before she even had the chance to react.

“You look good, dear.”

“No, I don’t.”

He let go of her, holding her at arm’s length. “Trust me when I tell you you look good. The dark circles under your eyes are hardly visible anymore, you aren’t pale as death itself, and you look rather content.”

“And you saw all of this in the few seconds you actually looked at me.”

“Laura, dear, if I know one thing, it’s women.”

She laughed and took his arm, guiding him inside. “Is that the reason why none of these relationships ever last?”

“Well, it’s easier to win them over than to keep them.”

There was something in his voice that gave Laura pause. “Tell me, how are you?”

“I’m fine.”

“And now the truth, please.”

“That was the truth.”

She stopped them in front of the living room. “Samuel, talk to me. What is going on?”

He shrugged. “Nothing to worry about.”

“But?”

“But I’m getting older. I don’t want to go from one relationship to the next. I know you won’t believe me, but I want something steady, something that will last.”

“Don’t tell me you wisened up.”

He looked away from her which was unusual as he always kept eye contact with whoever he was talking to. “I don’t know. A lot of things happened. My break-up with Lisa, your illness, the fact that you married…”

“I understand the first part, but the rest…”

Samuel faced her again. “Despite everything you look happy, Laura. I whished I had felt only once like you seem to feel. And… well, I wish that one day I’ll find a woman as special as you are.”

Laura honestly didn’t know what to reply to this. She was spared by Samuel who nudged her side. “Will you introduce me to Bill now or not?”

Look at him for one moment longer, she nodded and led him into the living room where Bill still sat reading. Any other man might have come outside to greet their guest himself. Not Bill, though. He’d always give her the privacy she needed. Now, he got up, smiled at her and walked to where Samuel stood to offer his hand.

Laura watched how the two men shook hands. There was nothing to do but wait and see if these two parts of her life would match.

Samuel Walker was exactly like Bill had imagined he would be, yet he was different. Or maybe it would be more suffice to say he had more depth than he had counted on. Samuel was flippant, relaxed, intelligent, had a bit of a hell-may-care attitude. Although all of these parts seemed real enough, he still radiated true warmth. The way he looked at Laura spoke of true affection. He cared for her. Perhaps even a bit more than he had counted on.

They sat down and talked. Bill watched how Laura’s face lit up when Samuel told one amusing story after the other about things that had happened in cabinet lately. These two were real friends. He could live with that. Although Samuel spoke to both of them, his main attention was more on Laura. This changed when he turned slightly to Bill, assessing him like Bill had assessed him earlier.

Laura watched them from the background. Bill could see her rolling her eyes at them.

It seemed that Bill found Samuel’s approval as a smile lit up his face.

“I thought long and hard about a late wedding present but couldn’t really think of one.”

“Samuel,” Laura chided. “The wedding was no big deal so don’t make one out of it now.”

“No big deal? So why did you never marry before?”

Bill had to smile at the soft expression on Laura’s face. She was content and so was he.

“I just never met the right man before.”

“And I’m happy that you found him. And I have to agree, Richard wasn’t the right man. Not by far.”

Laura groaned. “Can’t just you just forget about him? That with him is way in the past in some dark ages.”

“Hey, you shocked me. I thought I knew you. Anyway, what I wanted to say is that I’d like to invite the two of you to dinner some time. There’s this new, small restaurant near the port, nothing fancy mind you, but I thought it might be a nice idea.” Samuel looked at him, and Bill found himself nodding.

“I think that’s a good idea.”

Samuel smiled. “Then it’s settled.”

They started to talk about boats which interested Bill but Laura not so much.

 

When the doorbell rang again, she was actually happy. They didn’t expect anyone, but everything was better than to listen to these two comparing the different kinds of wood to be used when building a boat.

She wasn’t all that surprised when she opened the door to be greeted by grinning Kara and a smiling Lee. She had seen both of them quite a few times in the last weeks, and especially Kara had found her way into her heart. It was so easy to talk to her. They understood each other even without words.

“I hope this spontaneous visit isn’t inconvenient, but we were in the area and thought a short stop couldn’t hurt.”

“I know we should’ve called,” Lee added.

Laura smiled at both of them. “Come in. A friend of mine has come over earlier, but I’m sure you’ll like him.”

She took Kara by the arm and, back in the living room, introduced them to Samuel.

As she had predicted, everyone got along. For a while, she didn’t say anything, just leaned back and listened to the chatter. It was amazing, a year ago she had been alone, subconsciously prepared to die, and now, she had hope again. There was a future waiting for her, a future she wouldn’t have to spend alone. After a while, Kara left the armchair she had originally occupied, coming to sit beside Laura on the couch. She leaned toward her.

“Isn’t it amazing?”

Laura turned to her. “What is?”

“The Adama men. They look so calm, so composed, but they hide a passionate side.”

Laura had a hard time to suppress a giggle. Leave it to Kara to point out the truest things at the most inopportune times. “What in the name of the Gods brought that up now?”

Kara smiled sweetly. “I’m bored, and so are you. As lovely as they all are, the subtleties of law aren’t what I want to discuss at the moment.”

“So you rather think of nicer things?”

“Well, wouldn’t you agree that thinking about passionate Adamas is more fun?”

Now, Laura had to laugh, drawing the attention of all the men onto her.

“What’s the matter?” Bill asked.

“Nothing.” She smiled, thinking that life was good, at least for the moment.

TBC


	16. Chapter 16

“Mrs. Roslin, nice to meet you. Please, have a seat.” Olivia Gray was in her late fifties, her light brown hair kept in a tight bun. Despite her formal outward appearance, her eyes scanned Laura friendly, her whole face lit up by a gentle smile.

“Thank you, Ms Gray.”

“Olivia. My brother told me I just had to meet you.”

“Wally’s too kind.”

“I don’t think so. He’d never recommend anyone to me if he wasn’t convinced of the person’s abilities. Coffee?”

“Yes, please.”

“So, Laura – may I call you Laura?”

Laura nodded.

“Let me tell you something about the job, and if you still think it could interest you, I’d like you to tell me a bit about yourself.”

It had all gone fast, pretty fast. Only two days ago, Wally had come to visit, telling Laura he knew of a job that might interest her. He didn’t want to give her any detail, insisted his sister would brief her.

So here she was, not knowing what to expect. Not that it mattered anyway. So far she had sent out two applications. Both of them had been rejected within a few days. When she had decided to fight Richard, she had known there’d be a price to pay. In all honesty, she had expected it might take months or longer to find a job. This job interview was a chance sent by the Gods, by Wally, and she’d do her best to convince the woman in front of her that she wanted to hire her.

“Well, I hope Wally kept his promise to let me tell you about this institution.”

“He was silent as a grave.”

“Wonderful, because this project, this institution is my life. Here, on this compound, live about fifty teenagers, all of them evicted for one crime or the other. Not the kind of crimes that severely endangered another human’s life. We’re mostly talking about theft here. But these teenagers didn’t only raise attention because of their crimes but because of their intelligence. Here at Meadow Grove, we try to give them the education they need and deserve while trying to re-socialise them. We have success more often than not but not always. This is a job where you need the experience of a teacher, a certain strength and nerves of steal. I won’t lie to you, it’s not an easy job. And if this didn’t scare you, I’d like to hear something about you next. Wally told me you started out as teacher.”

“Yes, I did.” Laura gave her a detailed account of her career. Olivia never took her eyes off her, her expression unwavering even when she spoke about her time as secretary of education. Only when Laura had finished, she smiled even more broadly.

“All in all, it sounds like you’re the perfect candidate for the job. Although,” she raised a well-manicured hand, “we can’t pay that much. It’s not a bad outcome, but it won’t compare to what you earned as secretary of education.”

“What counts more than a pay check is a job you can believe in.”

“I couldn’t agree more. So what do you say? Do you want to see the institution? Do you want the job?” She laughed out. Laughing suited her. It made her look a good ten years younger.

“Actually, yes to both, but maybe I should make you aware that there were some rumours about me in papers a few weeks back.” Some might say it was stupid to bring something on the table when the other party gave no indication of either knowing or caring about it, but Laura believed in honesty. If Olivia had no idea about her past and learned about it later, she might be upset or mad. Lost trust might be the smallest of Laura’s problems then.

“Oh, I’m well aware of everything, don’t you worry. But if our teenagers who actually committed crimes deserve a second chance, don’t you think you deserve one, too? And before you have to ask, I wouldn’t think of hiring you if I weren’t convinced that you’re the right one for the job. Now, let’s go.”

Laura was relieved. It seemed she actually owed Wally. If it hadn’t been for him, she might have looked for a job for a good while longer.

The tour took them about an hour. Laura got to know the compound, some of the teachers and some of the students. When they were back in Olivia’s office, Laura knew she wanted the job, and she said so to Olivia.

“I’m glad to hear that. Could you start next week? Teach history and math?”

“I’d love to.”

“Then this is settled.”

They shook hands, and Laura got up.

“By the way,” Olivia said when Laura had almost reached the door. “I had breast cancer, too.”

Laura stiffened, turning back to Olivia. Her cancer was the last thing she liked to think about at the moment. Too many nights did she wake up, sweating, having dreamed some doctor had told her that her cancer had returned.

“How did you know?” There was an edge to Laura’s voice.

Olivia picked up on it, sympathy flashed in her eyes. “Wally. Don’t be angry with him. He mentioned that he knew someone who’d be perfect for the job. Of course, I wanted to see you at once, but he told me it was impossible because you were in hospital for treatment.”

“So you waited all these weeks to see me?”

Olivia laughed again.

“You’re kidding, right?”

“When do you have the chance to get the former secretary of education to work for you? I knew about you even before you ended up in the press. I liked your plans for the reformation of your school system. It’s a pity you had to give up the job. In your two terms, you achieved more than your predecessors in the last twenty years.”

Laura was stunned. “So the whole job interview was…”

“A fake? No. I wanted to get an impression of you. Actions might speak louder than word, but sometimes the picture you have of someone you haven’t met yet is wrong.”

“I understand. So… when did you have cancer?”

“Twenty years ago. It was quite a shock. I had never thought much about cancer. There had been no cases of breast cancer in my family in the last thirty years, and we Grays are a big family.” She shrugged. “Well, I was lucky, the tumour wasn’t particularly big. But it was too advanced for instant surgery so they put me on diloxin for four weeks. Nasty stuff. More than once I asked myself why I didn’t just die.”

“Don’t I know about it,” Laura mumbled.

“I only mentioned this anyway because I want you to take care of yourself. Don’t overdo it. Such a recovery takes longer than one might think. Don’t think I’m a little Miss Know-it-all, but at least in my own experience, it takes months to feel even slightly human again.”

“Alright.”

“Well then, I don’t want to keep you for longer. I’ll see you next Monday.”

“You will.”

Laura was hardly out of the building when she called Bill to share the good news.

 

Bill was happy for Laura. It had been a long time since her eyes had sparkled that way. She radiated energy she shouldn’t have. But the prospect of a fulfilling job could do that to one. The day he had learned that he could join the fleet again, it had been like he had awaken from a year long stupor. His job on a merchant freighter had paid the bills but had never given him any satisfaction. There was no challenge to it, he had been constantly surrounded by people who long since had lost any illusions and were now trying to drown their sorrows in alcohol. Saul had been just one example. It wasn’t that Bill couldn’t rough it up from time to time, but this had been too much. He had used to fight for a reason, had loved the thrill and danger of being a viper pilot, of being someone who tried to keep people on the colonies safe, corny as it sounded. In the merchant fleet, they had only expected you to be punctual, do your job and know how to pass the time between assignments. There was more to life than a bit of money, alcohol and, for most of his colleagues, whores. Even the men that had been married like he had been had seldom resisted. He had rather read a good book than ending up drunk and waking up in a room he had never seen before. There had been quite some men laughing at him for his interest in books, in art. He had to crack more than one skull before they accepted that Bill Adama was a man in his own league but not less capable. A lowly existence.

“You didn’t hear a word, did you?” Laura interrupted his musings.

How long had he zoned out? “No, I haven’t. Sorry.”

“What’s the matter?”

“Nothing, just memories. What did you say?”

“Forget it, I was just… talking. Memories?”

“Yeah.”

“Good or bad ones?”

“Neither nor. My days in the merchant fleet suddenly came back.”

“You never really talked about it.”

“It’s not worth it. I needed the job, but it was wasted time.”

“Didn’t we all have such a job at one time or the other?” She snorted.

“Did you?”

She nodded. “Before I joined Richard’s first campaign, I needed money to support my mother who was rather ill at that time. It was half a year before she died. Anyway, besides of my regular teaching job, I worked as a private tutor for rich kids in danger of not passing their exams. Those were children who didn’t know any sorrow when it came to money or any other kind of luxury. What they really had been missing were parents who cared, someone who loved them. Not that it seemed they cared. They barely even showed any interest in passing the exams. I earned a lot during those months, but had it been worthwhile? I don’t think so.”

They shared a smile.

“C’mere,” he said, patting on the space of the couch beside him. She stopped folding clothes and walked over. Instead of enfolding her in his arms as he had planned, he stretched out, urging her to spread out on top of him. She had her weight but not enough that it even hindered his breathing, and he loved feeling her this close. Her head rested on his shoulder, his hand stroked her back, sneaking under her sweater.

“You’ll be amazing in your new job.”

“You think so?”

“I do.”

She giggled. “Well, you could be right. I always enjoyed teaching. I shouldn’t have given it up.”

“You thought you could change the world.”

“That sounds so… idealistic. But I guess I was.”

“We all were.”

She kissed his neck.

They fell silent, content with doing nothing but enjoying each other’s company.

 

The first two weeks of teaching passed in a blur. Laura enjoyed being in the classroom again, although the better part of the students was everything but easy to handle. They all were exceptionally bright but came from less than stable households. Living in the school’s boarding house didn’t change the fact that most of them felt unloved, left alone. As their new teacher, Laura still had to gain their respect. Although she usually didn’t have any problems with gaining respect, it wasn’t easy this time as one of her pupils had dubbed her ‘the president’s mistress’ the very first day. She was sure the young man hadn’t enjoyed detention, but the name had stuck. Still, she was happy with her decision to accept the job. Her students challenged her constantly, so many of them thirsting for knowledge. It was certainly different from the last school where she had taught. The best part of it all was that she had Bill’s complete support. He did most of the housework although she had offered to do the most time consuming things on the weekend. Bill cooked, didn’t complain when most of her free time went into correcting homework and planning her next lessons. Once she had the routine, things would look different, but for now, she was more than grateful for the support offered.

Saturday morning, she took her time in the shower, enjoyed that she didn’t have to hurry, didn’t have to be anywhere. Although, when she exited the small cubicle, she still didn’t want to take a closer look at herself in the mirror. She still detested the look of her left breast. It wasn’t something she could get used to. Truth to be told, cosmetic surgery couldn’t come fast enough for her. Then there was her hair. She was happy, delighted that it had begun to grow back. But for the moment, the barely there down on her scalp hair looked rather ridiculous. Laura knew enough about depression to know she suffered from it, she knew it was nothing uncommon for survivors of long and painful illnesses. Rational knowledge did nothing to help her out of it, though. Even Bill couldn’t help her. It was something she had to deal with herself.

“Did you fall asleep in there?”

With a last frown, she turned away from the mirror and put on her robe. “I’ll be out in a moment.”

 

Bill wished he could help Laura but knew it was not in his realm of possibilities. She seemed happy enough with her life, but from time to time, she’d retreat into herself. He knew she disliked the way she looked. It wasn’t that he couldn’t see the traces of the cancer on her body either, but it didn’t matter to him. It mattered to her. Maybe time was all it needed, but what if not? He sighed.

They were about to meet Samuel for dinner, and Bill closed the door behind them. Laura looked stunning in her dark blue dress. She had gained some much needed weight back. Where only had been bones for the longest time, curves appeased again. But he could tell her he loved the way she looked again and again, it didn’t really seem to register with her. Not that they were unhappy, quite the contrary, but he’d love to do something against Laura’s lingering sadness.

The restaurant Samuel had chosen was only a small yet comfortable place, and although Bill had expected they’d have to wait for Samuel, he was already waiting for them. He got up from his seat, his eye lighting up at Laura’s appearance. Bill didn’t like that one bit. He knew he had a beautiful wife, knew that men were looking at her, but sometimes, it seemed to him that Samuel wasn’t just looking, that Laura was someone he could want for himself. Nevertheless, he liked the man.

After they had exchanged greetings, they settled at the table, receiving menus from the nearby waiter.

“I thought you might bring a date,” Laura said to Samuel.

He smiled at her. “I’m not dating at the moment. Women are too stressful for my fragile health.”

“Fragile health? Since when?”

“Well, my poor heart then?”

“Don’t tell me Lisa – her name was Lisa, wasn’t it? – has broken your heart?”

Samuel chuckled. “Not really, no, but work is stressful at the moment, especially with the next election not that far away. Although I might happily retire when Richard won’t be re-elected and a new cabinet is formed.”

It was something Laura hadn’t contemplated before going public with the photo. Many people, a few of them former friends would lose their jobs when Richard would lose the election. Not that they wouldn’t be able to find other jobs, politicians hardly ever had a problem finding one, still she’d played her role in the likelihood that Richard’s opponent would win the election. She refused to feel sorry, though. Apart from Samuel, she hadn’t heard from any of her former colleagues. Not one of them had been there for her when she had ended up in the newspapers for the first time.

“I can’t see you retiring.”

“Would you’ve thought that I’m the type for retirement?” Bill asked. He turned to Samuel. “You know that she put me out of business, too?”

“Bill.”

He grinned, an expression that was mirrored on Samuel’s face.

“Galactica’s decommissioning?” Samuel asked.

“Yeah.”

“That was a big deal. No one had really thought that Laura would prevail.”

“But she did.” Bill sounded proud. What would his life look like now if Galactica hadn’t been decommissioned? Would he still command the old battlestar? What would his plans for the future look like? What about her life? Stupid questions. Their life was what it was.

“Laura was often underestimated. I’ve seen quite a shocked face in my years when Laura decided to show her claws.”

She cleared her throat. “I hate to interrupt, but in case you haven’t noticed, Laura’s sitting right here at the table.”

“So I noticed,” Samuel chuckled. “Have I mentioned that you look lovely tonight?”

“Nice safe.”

“No, Laura, I mean it. Anyway,” he turned to Bill, “what did you do with retirement? What are your plans now? Can’t hurt to look for some inspiration.”

Bill told him about the renovations he had done on the house, and when the waiter came, they order dinner. “Now, my next plan is to build a boat. A friend of mine has a small area of land outside of Caprica City. We want to work on it together.”

“A boat. You gotta be kidding me. Have you ever tackled a project like that before?”

“No, I haven’t, but I learned a trick or two from my grandfather who was a carpenter.”

“I’m impressed. Of what kind of boat are thinking?”

Laura excused herself and walked to the bathroom where she took her time. Not that she wasn’t in favour of Bill’s plan, but even after she had heard his plans for the umpteenth time, she didn’t actually know more about the art of building a boat.

Seeing herself in the mirror, she frowned. Why couldn’t she bring herself to care? She was a curious person by nature, no matter what the topic. She had always thirsted for knowledge, wanted to know how the world around her worked. Lately, though, she only had random bursts of energy, especially when it came to her job, when she had something to take her attention off herself. She couldn’t help it, she hated what the cancer had made out of her. It wasn’t that she looked all that bad for her age. Quite the contrary. Her hair would grow back, her breast might look better than before after the surgery, still she couldn’t shake out of it.

 

“I’m sorry,” Samuel said when Laura was out of sight.

“What for?”

“I didn’t want to scare Laura away.”

“I guess she has heard about that boat one time too many.”

“Is she okay?”

Before Bill’s eyes, the jovial man turned into a more serious one. It made him look several years older, closer to his real age. “What do you mean?”

“Well, Laura seems to be rather out of it as if something is bothering her.”

Bill took a long, hard look at the man in front of him. All he saw was true concern. “It’s the cancer. Since then she’s…”

“She has problems accepting her body?”

“How do you know?”

Samuel shrugged. “Laura has never been a vain woman. She’s one of the few who really don’t have any idea how beautiful they really are. I think she never cared. But now, she notices the changes her body underwent due to the cancer. It must be hard to look in the mirror and not be the person you knew any longer.”

Bill sighed. “Yeah. I told her time and again that she’s still beautiful, but she doesn’t seem to believe me.” This wasn’t something Bill would normally discuss with anyone, let alone with someone he barely knew. It didn’t feel wrong to talk to Samuel, though. Maybe because he knew Laura even longer than he did, or because he really seemed to care.

Now, Samuel hesitated. Looking at Bill, his fingers started to drum a rhythm on the table. “Don’t get me wrong now, but maybe it needs someone else to tell her.”

“Someone else?”

“You’re too close to her. She knows that you are serious when you tell her that you find her beautiful, but she also knows that your view is clouded by the love you feel for her.”

Bill had the feeling he wouldn’t like what Samuel was getting at. “So you volunteer to tell her she’s gorgeous?”

“I don’t think that might be enough.”

What the frak?! “So? What else do you suggest? That I’ll give her up for a night? Sorry, but I think we better forget about this discussion right now.”

“That wasn’t what I meant.”

“Care to elaborate?”

Samuel didn’t seem to be disturbed by Bill’s tone of voice. It was as if he hadn’t even realised Bill’s ire had risen. “Well, what Laura needs now is to understand that she is desirable, that her body is worth to be worshipped. She needs to love herself again, and it seems she won’t manage without an outward impetus.”

“So you don’t want to bed her for a night but think she needs someone to make her feel good again? Not with words, though. What is your suggestion? A threesome?” Bill snorted.

Samuel still didn’t flinch, instead a fine smile flickered over his face. It was so brief that Bill wasn’t even sure he had seen it. “No threesome. I thought more about worshipping her body. She needs you to feel secure, but she needs someone else to realise that her beauty isn’t just your personal perception of her but shared by others.”

This guy couldn’t be serious, could he? This was… insane. The wild days of their youth were over for all of them. “You volunteer?” he snarled.

“Yes, I would.”

“You only want Laura.”

Samuel shook his head. “I wanted her for the longest time, but I could never be what she needs. Laura and I would end in a catastrophe, not that she ever wanted me. But this is not about me, but about Laura. I hate to see her suffer.”

“Sure.”

“Listen,” Samuel leaned forward, his gaze locking with Bill’s. “Believe it or not, I care for your wife. I’ve known her for years, knew her even when you still didn’t know she existed. And what do you think will be my reward when I spend some hours helping to pleasure Laura? The best I could hope for is not becoming addicted to something I can’t have and, to phrase it bluntly, not exploding into my pants.”

Bill only looked at Samuel. There was no intelligent answer to this, so why waste words? The proposition itself had his blood boil. To share Laura, no matter in which way, wasn’t something he thought acceptable. To have someone intrude on this intimacy of their relationship was unacceptable. Yet, there was some sense to Samuel’s words. He had tried everything to convince Laura that she was as breathtaking as ever, but he couldn’t get through to her. Maybe a sensual pleasure that concentrated only on her and her needs, maybe trying to make her see herself through the eyes of two men who felt for her differently could help her finding herself again. He didn’t need to look for an answer, as Laura chose this moment to return.

“Think about it,” Samuel mouthed before morphing back into the charming host he had been before their discussion.

Laura smiled at them although it didn’t reach her eyes. Bill’s heart bled for her.

She turned to Samuel. “Did he tell you about his planned trip to Virgon yet? Obviously there is no better wood in all of the colonies.”

“He was just about to, but I heard that wood from Picon’s northern hemisphere is even better.”

Only a politician could slip from one role into another so easily. But commanding a battlestar, Bill had learned his own lessons about appearing calm, composed no matter what. He gave Samuel a small smile.

“Picon’s wood is good, but more when you think of building furniture. We’re talking about a twenty feet boat which planks should be made out of piece of wood each.”

 

“You’re rather quite today. Quieter than usual,” Laura said to Bill who was shedding his shoes. “Didn’t you enjoy the evening?”

“I did.”

“You behave as if something’s bothering you. Was it Samuel? You seemed to get along quite fine.”

“Yeah, we did.”

“So what is it?”

“It’s nothing.”

“Well, if you say so.” Laura passed him on her way to the bedroom. She knew Bill long enough to know when he was mulling something over. When he didn’t want to talk about it, he could be stubborn like a mule.

“Laura,” he called after her.

She turned to him. “Yes?”

His eyes bore into her with a scrutiny that was hard to bear. “Are you content?”

“With what?”

He shrugged. “Everything, I guess. Your life, our life…”

A simple question, but the answer was complex. The least she could do was to be honest with him. “I’m happy to be with you if that’s what you mean. It’s still the best thing that has happened to me in years. Am I content with my job? Yes, I am. It’s been long since I saw a direct purpose in my daily work. It’s not easy, but it’s worth it. But if I’m happy with life in general, with myself? No, I’m not. All this time, I was busy surviving. I didn’t really think I’d make it, yet here I am. But I can’t stand myself any longer, the way I look. I wish I could shed myself.”

His face turned into a frown, and she was sorry for hurting him, but she knew he had sensed her unhappiness. “You’re not objective.”

She shrugged. “Maybe I’m not, but like everyone else, I can’t change the way I feel. What about you, though? Are you happy?”

The smile on his face came instantly. “Yeah, I’ve got more from life than I could ever have hoped for. I’ve got you.”

Although several feet separated them, she couldn’t feel any closer to him at the moment, crazy as this notion was. It were just a few simple words, but she knew it was the truth. “The big prize, huh?” she whispered.

“To me, yeah.”

They shared a smile. Laura held out her hand to him. “Let’s go to bed.”

 

Bill had left for Virgon three days ago when a knock at the door roused Laura from the couch. A decidedly unhappy Kara waited for her, bag in her hand.

“Come in.” She let Kara pass, closing the door behind her. “You look like hell. May I ask what happened?”

Kara threw the bag to the ground when she was barely inside the living room. “I need a place to stay for the night. Do you mind?”

Laura took up her former place on the couch. She’d thought about asking Kara if she wanted a tea or something else, but the young woman looked like any kind of nourishment was the last thing on her mind right now. She flopped down in an armchair.

“Lee can be such a frakking idiot.”

“What did he do?”

“Wanted to convince me to go to this gala with him. There’ll be a couple of lawyers and high-ranking officers around. Has something to do with his studies. Ya know, the kind of gala with too tight dresses and stilted conversation.”

“And you don’t want to go?”

“Understatement of the year. I don’t want to watch my every word and movement for hours.”

“Lee didn’t agree with you.”

“No, he said it’s important to make connections and that it would look strange if he was the only without someone accompanying him.”

“To which you said?”

“That he should ask one of his female friends to go with him, or if need to be to hire someone. He wasn’t amused, and things went downhill from there.”

Laura had to suppress a sigh. Sometimes the most serious arguments came from the most ridiculous situations. “And you want to sleep here instead of your apartment tonight why?”

“Because I haven’t been at my apartment for ages and because I have a friend staying there at the moment. Truth to be told, I rather have your company then hers, though.”

“Well, you’re always welcome, and I hope you know that.”

“Thanks, Laura.”

For a while, Kara stared out of the window.

“Why does he have to try to make someone out of me that I’m not?”

Laura felt a great deal of sympathy for her problems although it made her smile in memory. She had had her own share of fights in the past, with her fiancé in particular. But she had never been the person to throw a temper tantrum. She could be as hurtful as anyone, a few well-placed words – no belittling words, mind you – were more effective than any bout of anger could have been.

“Have you contemplated that it might be a different matter altogether?”

“What do you mean?”

“That Lee doesn’t want to change you but rather accepts you just like you are? That he’s proud of you and not ashamed of you? That he wants to show off the awesome woman at his side?”

Kara bit her lip. “This sounds nice, and it sounds like Lee. He is like that. Still, it’s not a situation I could ever be comfortable in. He shouldn’t try to drag me there.” She shook her head. “Don’t you think I know myself that this was just a stupid, out-of-proportions argument?”

“Things might look different in the morning.”

“Yeah. How do you do it with the old man? What do you do when you have an argument?”

Laura laughed. “We talk less than usual. You know him; contrary to Lee, he doesn’t talk much, not on his best days and definitely not on his worst.”

“Yeah, he can say more with one well-placed look than any other man with a tirade. But I can’t see the two of you arguing a lot anyway.”

“Well, we don’t.”

Kara and Laura shared a smile. “I see your hair has started to grow back.”

Laura groaned. She had totally forgotten that she had foregone a headscarf in the privacy of her own home. The very short strands of her hair had to look a mess, stroking into every direction.

“Hey, it looks cute,” Kara said when she saw the expression on Laura’s face.

“Cute? Why thank you very much.”

“Sorry, but it really does look cute, and I see you’re a real redhead.”

“But you knew that.”

“No, I didn’t. I only knew your wig, and on the press shots I’ve seen, your hair was black.”

“It’s funny, I had totally forgotten about his. I had dyed it black. Just a month or two before Galactica’s decommissioning, I thought it was time for a change. I disliked it the moment I saw myself in the mirror, but it would have been even worse if I tried to dye it again.”

“Red looks better on you if I may say so.”

Laura laughed. “You may. So what do you intend to do about Lee now?”

Kara took her time answering. “I have no idea. I guess we both have to cool down first.”

“Lee’s a good man. He’s not out to hurt you.”

“Yeah, I know. Still…” she chewed on her bottom lip.

“Still?” Laura prompted.

“Nothing. It’s nothing.”

“I don’t need an answer, Kara, and if you don want to talk about it, that’s perfectly fine. But please know that you can tell me anything, and whatever we talk about will stay between us.” Laura watched Kara coming to a decision, her eyes mirroring her internal fight.

“I grew up alone with my mother. It seems she liked to tell me what a worthless piece of shit I am, and if one of my bones got broken once in a while, where was the problem? I… I know that Lee would never do anything to intentionally hurt me. But I can’t stand if someone wants to make me do something I don’t wanna do. I spent too many years waiting for the day I could move out and make my own decisions.”

“I’m sorry, Kara. I know that words won’t change a thing, but you are everything but a frak-up.” So that was what Kara carried inside of her, the root of most of her problems, and although Kara had spoken as calm as she would have while delivering a weather report, Laura knew they were talking about living hell here. During her time as a teacher, she has seen many a student coming from violent households, and only a few had managed not to break completely. That Kara had reached as much in her life as she had spoke for her strong character.

“I’m not sure about not being a frak-up.”

“Kara, look at me.”

She did as she was asked, and Laura slowly shook her head. “Forget this thought pretty fast. Trust me when I say that you’re an amazing but stubborn woman. And if you think you’re a frak-up, I might qualify as well.”

“That’s bullshit.”

“Exactly what I was saying.”

A smile tinged with self-irony broke on Kara’s face. “It needs more than being a little Miss schoolteacher to qualify.”

“And there I was thinking carrying on an illicit affair with the married president would be more than enough.”

This time, Kara’s smile was full and real. “If one looks at you, one would never think you have it in you.”

“How do you think we managed to remain undetected for all those years?”

“Laura Roslin, you’re unbelievable. Any other secrets one should know about?”

“Maybe yes, maybe no.”

Kara yawned, and Laura got up. “I’ll get you a pillow and a blanket. Do you think you’ll be comfortable here?”

“Are you kidding? I slept in worse places. This is wonderful.”

“Fine. I’ll get you some towels for the bathroom, too.”

“Laura, thank you.”

“You’re welcome, Kara. Anytime.”

Laura needed a long time to fall asleep that night. Her mind, like every so often, didn’t want to calm down. She never had realised, fully realised that she had a new family. That Lee and Kara didn’t only belong to Bill but somehow to her, too. Family, a strange concept, one that she had abandoned after her family had died in the car accident all these years ago. To let people come this close bore the danger to end up hurt, but it was too late now. They had all weaselled their way into her heart. She cared now. Hopefully, life would spare them all any catastrophes now. With a sigh, she turned yet again.

 

Bill’s trip had been more successful than he had hoped, and he came back home one day early. He hadn’t known what to expect, had expected nothing really, but clearly not finding Laura together with Kara in the kitchen. The two women were working on something side by side, obviously obvious to his presence. Out of an impulse, he stood back in the hallway, watching them. It was something he couldn’t rationally explain, but to see this gave him a peace of mind he had been missing for years. Whenever he had thought about his retirement, he had pictured himself lonely, his hobbies and a few friends his only companions. Back then, he wasn’t even on speaking terms with Lee, thought it impossible to ever love again. It needed the most obstinate woman in all of the twelve colonies to make his old, foolish heart beat for someone else again. If someone had told him only five years ago that he would have his own home again, he would have laughed at him, but here he was.

Kara said something that made Laura giggle. She poked Kara in return which led Kara to say something again.

“I won’t get a dog, forget about it. I don’t even want one,” Laura exclaimed with conviction in her voice.

Bill stepped forward. “Who wants a dog and why?”

The two women swirled around at the same time, one smiling, one grinning broadly.

“Bill, what are you doing here? I didn’t expect you to be home before tomorrow.”

“We found what he were looking for so there was no reason to linger.” He walked to Laura, kissing her gently before he hugged Kara. “What are you doing here?”

Kara pointed to the chopping board behind her. “Cooking. But you’re in luck, it’ll be enough for three.”

“Three? What about Lee? He won’t have dinner with us?”

Kara looked uncomfortable at the mentioning of Lee’s name, but Laura smile didn’t falter. He should remember that in case he ever nurtured the idea to play any kind of card game with her.

“Lee?” Laura said. “Until five minutes ago, this was a women-only party. Now that you’re here though, you can stay.”

He returned her grin readily. “Thank you. I was about to call Saul and meet with him in case you don’t want me here.”

“Don’t be stupid.”

“Saul’s a great guy.”

Both women snorted at the same time.

“I’ll take a shower. Be back soon.” With that, he left them to their business, but before he had walked out of earshot, he heard Kara say, “I have no idea how he can like Tigh. At all. There was one time, I had just landed my viper and climbed out of the cockpit, when he…” Bill shook his head. People rarely seemed to understand his friendship with Saul. Carolanne hadn’t understood either, and contrary to Laura, she had never accepted it, didn’t even want Saul in her house. Laura might not be fond of him, but she never complained when Saul came to visit. The two of them would glare at each other from time to time, but that was all. Yeah, Saul was rough around the edges, wasn’t refined in any way or form, but there was no friend more loyal. Bill knew he could always count on him just like Saul could count on him. In fact, he looked forward to building the boat with him. The two of them didn’t need words, it was enough just to work in silence side by side. It might take them a year or even longer until they would be finished, but they weren’t in a rush. Now with Laura on her way to recovery, the largest part of his worries and fears had ceased, he was in a frame of mind for enjoying some quiet time with his wife and his best friend.

When he came back from the shower, dinner was already frying, and Kara was setting the table. Bill hoped whatever the deal was with her and Lee would sort itself out in time.

He helped Kara, and soon, they were enjoying a quiet dinner.

It was good to be back home.

 

It was late when he got up from his armchair to go to bed. Laura had left an hour earlier because she had to be up early and fit for school tomorrow. He thought she might long since be asleep, but when he couldn’t find her in their bedroom, he took a look into the bathroom. She was looking at herself in the mirror, her marred breast cradled in one of her hands, her face showing a deep frown. She wasn’t happy, and it pained him to see it. Samuel had been right. No matter how much love he gave her, it wouldn’t make her see herself any different.

He hadn’t thought much about Samuel’s idea since the day of their dinner, had dismissed it, but now, it came back to him. But it was just a crazy idea, the idea of a man who hungered to get his hands on Laura, wasn’t it?

Laura snorted and turned, only then seeing him standing in the shadows. It was the expression on her face, the mixture of pain and guilt of being found out that decided him.

She tried to hide her inner pain from him, but that couldn’t be it. He would do whatever it took to make her see herself in the right light again. He had no inhibitions when it came to sex, and if this was the venture to get her out of this, so be it.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered.

“Don’t be,” he said, taking her hand, leading her to bed.

Bill spooned her from behind, held her as close as only possible.

 

Laura was still not home late next afternoon when he tried Samuel’s number. He thought he would not be home yet, had decided to leave a message, but the man picked up after the third ring.

“Yes, please.”

“It’s Bill, Bill Adama.”

“Bill, what a surprise. What can I do for you?”

This was harder than he had thought, but he forced himself to speak. “I thought about your idea. I want to do this. For Laura.”

There was a moment of silence. “Alright. When and where?”

Bill was thankful Samuel didn’t drag this out. “Here. When you have the time.”

“Let’s say next Saturday, but here. You don’t want to have these memories connected with your own home, do you?”

He had a point. “No.”

“Good. Will you tell Laura about it?”

“No, she wouldn’t like it.”

Samuel laughed out, breaking some of the tension. “No, she wouldn’t. She’s one to be convinced by actions and not by words. Bill?”

“Yeah?"

"I don’t want to impose on your relationship. I want to help Laura. Yes, I desire her, but I know she isn’t for me. Anyway, see you about 7 p.m. for dinner.”

“Yes.”

They exchanged goodbyes, and Bill put the receiver down. He still stood beside the phone when Laura came home five minutes later. She looked good in her suit, her cheeks slightly reddened from the wind outside. Seeing him, she smiled, and he had to return it. Yes, he loved her, and he would make her happy, no matter what.

TBC


	17. Chapter 17

Laura was suspicious. Bill recognised it in the way she looked at him, especially when she thought he didn’t notice. Not hat she had questioned him when he told her Samuel had invited them for dinner, but she knew she was missing a piece of information, a vital one. For Bill, the week passed too slow but too fast at the same time. Was he even doing the right thing? He didn’t even want to think about what might happen if this plan backfired. What if Laura was repulsed by it? Or even worse, what if she liked it too much, wanted more than Bill had planned on giving her? What if she wanted Samuel all the way, or he Laura? Bill’s mind was torturing him, and this was what registered with Laura. Even working on the boat with Saul didn’t give him the peace it used to.

One day, he had looked at Saul who was sorting through the tools and asked him how far he would go for his wife. Saul was surprised, but had answered at once without any trace of doubt in his voice, “I’d do whatever is needed, whenever it’s needed.”

Bill agreed. But was the chosen course of action what was needed in this case? Could he go through with it?

“Cubit for your thoughts,” Laura interrupted his musings.

He had concentrated on the street, on his own thoughts so much he had nearly forgotten about her presence. Giving her a sideway glance, he smiled, knowing it didn’t quite reach his eyes. She had taken him up on his suggestion to forgo the wig for today, and the green headscarf accentuate her eyes in a complimentary manner.

“No particular thoughts, just wondering how Kara and Lee are doing.”

“I spoke to Kara two days ago. I think she was fine, and so was Lee.”

Laura had never told him what Kara had been doing at their house, why she had stayed the night, but he had felt the two women were even closer since then.

“She asked me if I could help her choose a dress.”

“A dress?”

“She’ll accompany Lee to a party with dress code.”

“Starbuck in a dress?”

“Why not? She’ll look stunning.”

“I bet she will.”

“I’m surprised.”

“By what?”

“That Samuel invited us for dinner to his house. It’s not that long since he’d invited us to the restaurant, and I happen to know that he can’t cook.”

“I guess he’s still trying to make up for not even calling once in months.”

“By offering me, us over- or under-cooked food? I hope not.”

“We’ll see. Let’s enjoy the evening.”

They reached Samuel’s place five minutes later, parking their car in the underground parking space.

Samuel lived in the middle of Caprica City where living space was the most expensive.

As Laura had told Bill, Samuel had inherited the place from his parents who had belonged to Caprica’s upper class. If he didn’t want to, Samuel didn’t need to work. He did it because he wanted to, not because he had to rely on the monthly pay check.

 

Samuel seemed relaxed when he opened the door, this time not in a suit but in some pair of comfortable looking trousers and a sweater. He hugged Laura before greeting Bill with a handshake.

For a moment, Bill wondered how things were about to proceed. He hadn’t spoken with Samuel since the day they had agreed on this date. As it seemed, dinner would come first; Bill could glimpse the set table when Samuel showed them his spacious apartment. Laura had been here before but joined the impromptu tour. Somehow Bill had expected something different, not his light and lofty interior in any case. Nothing here screamed rich.

When they had seen everything, Samuel led them to his living room, asking them to take a seat. It smelled delicious, and if Bill wasn’t mistaken, they’d have Tauron cuisine.

“Okay, Samuel, since when can you cook?” Laura asked when she was presented with a wonderful looking casserole.

“Cooking? I ordered it all by myself.”

“Well, you could always take up cooking should you really retire.”

“Funny, Laura.”

“I think so, too. So why the invitation? I already asked Bill, but he claimed there wasn’t anything to spill.”

Bill knew his face remained stoic; thankfully, so did Samuel’s.

“Maybe I just felt like the company of a beautiful woman.”

Laura snorted. “We surely don’t want to interrupt said date.”

Samuel didn’t take her bait. Reaching over the table, he took one of Laura’s hands into his. “Stop selling yourself short. Let others be the judge of what they see.”

Laura was about to protest, Bill saw it clearly, but Samuel shook his head. “Let’s not spoil this evening with discussions no one needs. Let’s try dinner first.” He let go of Laura’s hand and turned to Bill. “So, how was your trip to Virgon? Did you get what you wanted?”

 

Laura couldn’t put her finger on it, but she knew something was off. There was something Bill hadn’t told her about this evening that Samuel knew. Maybe she was just paranoid, though. And even if she wasn’t, she should wait until they were ready to tell her.

Dinner was an amicable affair, and while Samuel brewed fresh coffee, Bill and she retreated to the comfortable looking couch.

“Gods, this couch is as comfortable as a bed,” she said to Bill, sinking even deeper into the soft leather.

“And it most likely cost a fortune.”

“That too.”

Samuel came back with a tray, and he settled into an armchair opposite of them. His gaze searched Laura’s, holding it, showing her a side of him Laura had seldom seen. Whatever it was, he was serious about it.

“Laura, you aren’t happy.”

What the frak? “Samuel, don’t take this the wrong way, but I have no intention to discuss my state of mind with you now.”

He didn’t look taken aback, in fact, his expression didn’t change a bit. “Who says that I want to discuss anything? But forgive me when I don’t like to see you suffer.”

“Samuel, stop it, or I’ll be out of here in a minute.”

He raised his hands in defence. “Well, I didn’t say a thing.”

“Of course not. Would Bill or you finally tell me what is going on here?”

“Nothing, Laura. Can’t I just want to spend a nice evening with some friends?”

“Sure.”

“Laura.” A simple word but full of emotions.

She turned to Bill who was looking at her openly. “Bill?” A question, but what she was asking she wasn’t quite sure.

“I’m worried, Laura. I don’t want to see you loathing yourself or the way you look. Samuel is worried, too.”

That was what they were playing? They wanted to convince her that everything was alright? Couldn’t they simply leave her alone?

 

Bill knew that the following moments would decide the evening. He should have known Laura’s mind was too sharp, that you couldn’t simply surprise her. At the moment, she was angry with both of them.

Laura had withdrawn her hand from under Samuel’s, her arms crossed in front of her chest. Bill reached out to her, one hand cupping her jaw, the other urging her to uncross her arms.

“If it were me or Samuel, you’d worry, too.”

Her eyes told him he had a valid point, but before she could react, he leaned forward. Words weren’t his strength so he let his body say what he wanted her to know. She stiffened when his mouth brushed her, but he caressed her lips slowly, the thumb of the hand cupping hers, trailing along her cheek. Laura pulled back, looking at him, at Samuel, at him again.

“What is going on here?”

“Laura, do you trust me?”

She nodded almost instinctively. Bill still could see further protest in her eyes. He shook his head.

“I want to show you how beautiful you are, we want to show you.”

He could hear the crack in his voice, but he had nothing to hide. He bore her scrutiny, her eyes full of questions, searching his for an answer.

Samuel had gotten up and walked around the table, kneeling down in front of Laura. Her gaze tore away from Bill, her focus on Samuel now.

“What?”

“Shhh,” he hushed her. His hands came to rest on Laura’s knees, he looked up at Bill who nodded his consent.

Jealousy tore at his heart, but he willed it away. This was for Laura, he would do everything for her.

Samuel concentrated on Laura now. Leaning forward, his mouth captured her in a soft kiss. She broke the connection instantly, her head turned to Bill.

“It’s alright. Just enjoy yourself.”

“Bill?”

Samuel’s hand found her jaw, tilting her head towards him with infinite tenderness. This time, Laura didn’t resist the kiss although her hesitation was visible in the tension of her body. Samuel’s kiss didn’t linger, he didn’t try to penetrate her mouth. Lips wandering, he trailed down her neck, kissing, nibbling the soft skin of her throat.

“Gods, Laura, you taste better than I had ever expected.” Samuel’s voice had taken on a huskier note.

With visible effort, he pried his mouth from Laura.

It was pure instinct, but the sight of another man intent on marking Laura tore through Bill’s ironclad control. Turning Laura to him, his mouth took possession of hers. Her lips parted under his, and his tongue slid into her mouth, stroking hers in a deep, intimate caress. The moan he elicited from her made his mind cloud with desire. He had to have her. But not as he longed for. He had to restrain himself. It wouldn’t do to pin her to the couch and take her, even when he was nearly sure she wouldn’t resist. With effort, he withdrew from her.

There was colour to her cheeks now, and she was breathing hard.

Bill had as good as forgotten about Samuel – his sole focus on Laura – when the other man got up from the ground, offering his hand to Laura.

“Let’s go somewhere more comfortable.”

Laura shook her head as if in trance but rose from the couch, no longer offering any resistance. But her eyes were on Bill when she offered him her hand in turn.

“I trust you with all I am,” she whispered.

Nodding, he got up to his feet. “Just enjoy.”

Samuel led them to his bedroom, a big room with an equally big bed taking up not even part of the space. Letting go of Laura’s hand, Samuel moved through the room, lightening numerous candles.

Not one to waste any time, Bill turned Laura to him, kissing her. Only when Samuel switched off the overhead light, he let go of her.

The candles spent a soft light, just enough to see, but not enough to disturb the atmosphere of calm that had settled over the room.

Samuel moved up behind Laura who still looked at Bill.

“May I?” he asked Bill, and although he didn’t clarify, Bill knew what he meant. With just a second of hesitation, he nodded his assent.

“Laura,” he said, causing her to turn to him. “You know what I wanted for the longest time?” Reaching up, his thumb caressed her lips. “I wanted to taste these, wanted to know how they feel against mine. But that’s not all, I want to taste you, really taste you. I need to know if you taste as sweet as I always suspected.” He leaned down, his mouth capturing hers, holding still to let her get used to the feeling before caressing her mouth, nipping at her bottom lip.

Needing the contact, Bill embraced Laura from behind, her body pressed flush against his. His hands sneaked under her shirt, fingers stroking the soft skin of her stomach. Laura’s body tingled from the different sensations, Bill’s fingers raising goose bumps on her sensitive skin, Samuel’s mouth on hers soft yet demanding.

She had no idea how much time had passed when an insistent tongue urged her to part her lips. He claimed her mouth gently, and a moan escaped her when he started to explore her mouth, his tongue stroking hers in regular intervals. Reaching up, she grasped fistfuls of his sweater. She wasn’t willing to be an inactive participant in this crazy encounter any longer. What Bill and Samuel had cooked up wasn’t something she would have ever come up with herself, but being over her initial shock, she’d enjoy this to its fullest. Penetrating Samuel’s mouth, she wriggled back into Bill. Samuel tasted different than Bill, and she found she liked kissing him, but it wasn’t the same as kissing Bill. Although the physical reaction to him fit, the emotional component was missing. Still, she wanted this, hungered for this even.

One of Bill’s hands left her stomach, cupping her through the fabric of her clothes. She moaned out, and Samuel broke the kiss.

“That’s not how we’re going to play,” he chided. “I think you’re overdressed anyway.”

Her friend’s voice, tinged with lust, had her shiver. Bill seemed to be in agreement with him. After a last squeeze to her sex, his hands wandered up her body so that he could reach the buttons of her shirt. She wished she could see him but contented herself with feeling the warm weight of his hands gliding down her body with each button he undid.

At the same time, Samuel worked the fastener of her pants so that they pooled around her ankles a few seconds later. She stepped out of her heels and pants while Bill divested her of her shirt.

Standing before Samuel in nothing but her bra and panties made her feel self-conscious. She was older than his usual conquests, what would he think of her middle-aged skin? And if she shed her bra? The left side upholstered to keep the illusion of an unmarred breast. These thoughts made her skin crawl. This was a stupid idea. The flight instinct was so strong she felt lightheaded, but she felt unable to move.

Samuel, seeing her reaction, placed his hands on her shoulders. “Laura, look at me.”

She did, albeit reluctantly.

“This is something I dreamed of countless times. You should know for how long I wanted you.”

She swallowed. “Sorry to disappoint.”

“Disappoint?” He let out an ironic chuckle. “This is better than my fantasies at night when I only had my hand to keep me company, so much better. It makes me want to… yes, to devour you.”

“You ain’t seen nothing yet.” She couldn’t keep his gaze any longer. It was stupidity. There were two men who wanted her, and all she could feel was dread at the prospect of being naked in front of them.

“Laura, you know that I would never lie to you, do you?”

She did. In spite of his flaws, Samuel had never lied to her, even if there were ugly truths to tell. “Yes, I do.”

“Then believe me that this here is so much more than I ever had hoped for. You are beautiful.” His voice became softer. “You make me all kinds of crazy.”

“To me,” Bill’s voice whispered into her ear, “you look like a goddess. To see you naked makes me so hard it hurts.” His fingers on her waist tightened their grip, and she leaned back into him.

She looked back at Samuel, the heat of his gaze making her shudder.

“I want you to do something for me.”

Nodding slightly, she waited for him to continue.

“I want you to trust me tonight, to trust us, no matter what. We want your best. We want to worship you as you deserve. And if you can, don’t think, don’t talk, just feel. Do you think you can do that for us?”

“Yes.” Her voice was unsteady, yet there was no question she meant it.

He took her hand, led her to the bed. “I want to see you, all of you.”

Laura couldn’t shake the feeling of dread. Still, she wouldn’t turn away from a challenge. She reached around to open her bra and was met by Bill’s hands. He stroked hers before opening the clasp of her bra. If Bill hadn’t been there, she would have bolted out of the door by now. No, this wasn’t right. Without Bill, she wouldn’t be here.

While she shrugged the bra from her arms, Bill’s fingers hooked into her panties, dragging them down. Soon, the last two items of her clothing had sunken to the ground.

“Lie down,” Bill’s voice rumbled in her ear.

Crazy, they all were crazy, but she complied, taking up the space in the middle of the bed. The sheets under her were soft, smelled fresh. She closed her eyes, relishing the feeling of stretching out comfortably. The thought that Samuel could see the traces of her cancer in all their ugly glory wasn’t one she could shed, yet it was too late for regrets, to turn back. Her eyes opened, and she watched Samuel talking quietly to Bill who nodded. The whole time, Bill’s eyes never left hers, the love in them threatened to take Laura breath away.

Both men shrugged out of their shirts and shoes, nearing the bed from both sides; Samuel from the right, Bill from the left.

Bill sat down, reaching out to her, reaching for her headscarf. The two men really wanted to strip her bare. She swallowed, her throat dry, but offered no resistance. Occupied with looking at Bill, she hadn’t noticed Samuel who now sat down on the other of the bed. From the corner of her eyes, she saw he was holding a piece of cloth. Turning her head she recognised it as a silken blindfold.

“Giving up one sense enhances all the others, but I’d be surprise if you didn’t see a blindfold or two in your time.”

Despite the tension of showing her flaws, the tension of desire, she couldn’t suppress the peal of laughter that bubbled out of her. If she had to bet, she would say she knew more about the pleasures of blindfolds than Samuel ever would. Her fiancé had liked them, liked to use them on her, liked to have them used on him.

Propping up on her elbows, she let Samuel apply the piece of cloth until she couldn’t see as much as the shine of the candles through it. Before she had the chance to recline again, lips fastened to both sides of her neck, kissing their way down in an agonisingly slow rhythm. Down her throat, along her collarbones, kissing, nibbling, sucking. Her heart began to beat faster as blood pumped fast through her veins. They bestowed kisses along the length of her arms. She didn’t think they had made a detailed plan beforehand yet they moved almost in tandem. Reaching her hands, they suckled at one of her fingers after the other. How did they communicate? Via eye contact? But even these last thoughts were gone when both of her breasts were cupped by a hand. Eager thumbs brushed her nipples, and desire shot though her body, mounting at the juncture of her thighs.

“So beautiful,” Samuel whispered. “You have beautiful breasts. They’re soft. I like to touch them.”

An involuntary sob escaped Laura. Who was he kidding? Didn’t he see the scarred breast Bill was caressing ever so slowly?

“No, Laura. You look exquisite. And I just have to taste you, have to feel you nipple hardening under my tongue. I just… need to.” His tongue made contact a second later, only the very tip of hit brushing against her skin. Her breath hitched in her throat at the wave of arousal that hit her.

Bill watched mesmerised how Laura arched into Samuel’s touch. She bit her bottom lip to keep from making any sound. That wasn’t what he wanted. He wanted to hear her, wanted her to lose herself in this.

Samuel’s mouth closed around the nipple, Bill adding to the stimulation by starting a slow suckle on the other one. Still, Laura kept silent.

“I want to hear you,” Bill growled, abandoning her sweet flesh for a second.

“Bill,” she groaned out. “More. Please.”

Her hand reached out, finding his head, pressing it down to her again.

“Do we have to tie you up?” he teased her, preventing a smart-mouthed answer by sweeping his tongue over where she wanted it the most at the moment.

“I think that’s a good idea,” came from Samuel, and both men watched each other over the length of the bed, exchanging an amused smile.

“Don’t you dare,” Laura protested, but it was a weak objection as she was busy arching up into the touch of wandering hands that trailed along her stomach, her hips, her thighs.

Often Bill had wished he had more hands to caress her everywhere he wanted to at once. It seemed his wish had come true, albeit in a twisted way. He could see the strain in Samuel as he let go of Laura. He, too, wished he could take Laura now, merge with her in the primal way his body longed for; but in contrast to him, Samuel wouldn’t go home with the girl. He had to love Laura to restrain himself in such a way.

Opening the drawer of his nightstand, Samuel retrieved a pair of padded handcuffs, raising an eye brow when he saw Bill’s eyes following his movements. Handing them to Bill, he concentrated on Laura again, raining her bosom with butterfly kisses.

Laura never knew where Samuel’s mouth would hit next, and before she knew it, the telltale click of handcuffs and the strain on her arms told her that they really had restrained her. Not that she minded all that much. Although she loved to be an active participant, she could enjoy doing nothing but feeling sensations wash over her just as much. For a moment, nothing happened, then, four hands and two mouths began to explore her body in earnest. Each inch of her upper body, her legs was catalogued, tasted, yet both men never went where her desire pulsated the strongest. If her hands were free, she would grab the sheets under her, but as it was, all she could do was arch into the touches. In and between, words of appraisal were murmured, whispered into her ear before teeth bit the tender skin of her earlobe, making her yelp from the sudden but not unwelcome pain.

Minutes that felt like hours passed. “Please,” she uttered for what seemed the umpteenth time. She was denied – again. Instead of easing her dire need, one man crawled up the bed, kissing her.

Samuel took her mouth with a ferocity that took her breath away. When he parted from her, she could still feel his breath on her face. Reaching out with her tongue, she confirmed that he hovered a mere inch over her. She trailed along the contours of his lips, and he chuckled.

“Sneaky.” A brief peck onto her cheek and he withdrew from her. “I want to taste you, Laura. May I taste you?”

Why did he ask? Didn’t he know she was trembling with need for release by now? She nodded.

Parting her legs, he kneeled between them. Her bottom was lifted by Bill who placed a pillow under her, squeezing her ass affectionately before lowering her again.

Maybe she should feel weird baring herself to one of her best friends, but she didn’t. She was beyond caring. He couldn’t touch her fast enough. Spreading her legs even further, she waited for him to make good of his request.

Samuel lifted her right legs, nipping the tender skin of her inner thigh. “You’re so soft. And you smell so good. You smell aroused. Do you want me to touch you? To eat you out?”

“Yes. Frak it, don’t tease.”

Laughing, he bent down, placed a feathery kiss on her vulva. “Don’t be impatient. Good things come to those who wait.” More butterfly kisses rained on her swollen sex, too light to ease her tension, but enough to make her long for firmer contact even more.

Although all in her screamed to press herself into the touch, she willed herself to remain as motionless as possible.

While Samuel teased her so near where she wanted him, Bill had taken up to fondle her breasts, his fingertips circling her nipples, yet never making contact. Her whole body was tensing up, and she broke into a light sweat from the constant strain on her muscles.

Samuel pulled back. No, he couldn’t do that! Without any forewarning, he was back though, his fingers spreading her labia, his tongue trailing along her wet folds with one long stroke. A loud, lusty moan escaped her, followed by another when Samuel circled her clit. The strokes with the tip of his tongue were light, barely there but enough to set her nerve endings even more on fire. Her hips arched off the bed, undulating, grinding against his face, and slowly, his caresses became firmer, even more focussed, stimulating the sensitive flesh with an intensity that had the pleasure bordering on pain. Loud, she was loud, maybe too loud, but she couldn’t care, could do nothing but feel.

Bill’s fingers began to roll her nipples between his thumbs and forefingers, pushing her further toward the edge. Gods, she needed to move, needed her hands, needed to hold onto something so that she wouldn’t float away on the waves of pleasure. “Gods.” Her cry was strangled, then swallowed by Bill whose tongue pushed into her mouth, stroking hers at a languid pace that belied the urgency she felt.

Samuel’s tongue was far from teasing her now, as was Bill who tweaked her nipples hard. Just a bit more, a tiny bit more, that was all she needed. Samuel’s finger sliding into her, curving upwards did the trick. From one second to the next, she flew over the edge, her body convulsing, trembling, squeezing around Samuel’s finger. Laura saw light exploding behind her tightly closed eyes. She fell and fell, and part of her wished it would never stop.

Bill pulled away when the first wave of orgasm hit Laura. He loved to watch her when she let it all go. This time, he had the chance to truly watch her, to catalogue every sound, every sight while Samuel slowly eased her down from her height. Unable to not touch her, he took one of her hands into his own, his eyes never leaving her face. Her hand squeezed his hand, and only when the pressure eased, he knew that she was slowly coming to her senses again. He watched how her breathing slowly evened out, how her body sunk limp back into the mattress.

Samuel had crawled up the bed, was sitting beside Laura, stroking her cheek. “This was beautiful. You are beautiful. And you taste better than the finest Caprican wine.”

Bill watched how he bent down, kissing Laura, sharing her flavour with her. She moaned quietly but without any urgency. Bill knew she was sated but also knew it wouldn’t take all that much to spark her desire anew. Meeting Samuel’s eyes, he found his thoughts mirrored in them. Stealing his own kiss from Laura, he took her earlobe between his teeth, tugging gently. “Are you ready for round two?”

She shivered, whether from his words or the way he suckled the soft skin on her neck now, he didn’t know.

“You want to kill me?”

“Quite the contrary,” Samuel said.

“Untie me.”

“Never. Not yet anyway.” Bill punctuated each of his words with a kiss along her throat.

Again, Samuel took something out of his drawer, making Bill wonder if he was always that prepared or just this time. He held up a vibrator to Bill, smiling. Bill took it and watched how Samuel procured a second one. Yeah, they would make Laura feel, this night belonged to her.

“You know what I’d really like now?” Samuel asked Laura.

She shook her head.

“I’d love to taste you again. I want to taste the sweetness of your mouth. I want to suck on your nipples until you scream out. I want to lick you, nibble at your folds. Gods, Laura, you’re utterly delicious, do you know that?”

While Samuel talked, Bill’s fingers skimmed along the sensitive skin of Laura’s stomach. She whimpered.

“But I’m sorry to tell you,” Samuel continued, “that I have different plans.” A light kiss followed his words then, with a flick of his hand, Samuel activated the vibrator, choosing a low setting.

Laura moaned as the sound of buzzing filled the room.

“Do you know what my plans are now? Well, we do have more than one, and we plan to give you all the pleasure you can take. And more.”

She writhed on the bed, and Bill turned on the vibrator he held as well. He wasn’t sure if Laura had even noticed it, but she had spread her legs once more, granting them a view on her glistening sex. By now, his cock was rock hard, but with a deep breath, he willed himself to calm down.

Both men chose the same course of action, teasing Laura’s taut nipples with the tip of the vibrators, eliciting a loud groan from Laura. She bit her bottom lip hard enough to draw blood. In spite of the fact that she had climaxed less than ten minutes ago, she found herself aroused again, almost painfully so. The vibrators against her nipples reverberated through her body, and the thought of what more the men might do with the devices nearly undid her. Her vagina ached, the need to be filled more prominent with the second. But she wouldn’t beg, no, she wouldn’t.

One of the vibrators was replaced by a hot mouth, Bill’s mouth; the buzzing device making contact with her wet slit next. It only dove in for a moment before it was gone again to nudge her mouth to open a second later. She opened it obediently, sucking her own juices from it. Bill pulled it out again and began to tease her nipple anew. But then Samuel repeated Bill’s motions. Her hips started to undulate when the vibrator made contact with her sex, only to find it gone straight away. Gods, her clit ached with want, need. She pulled at the restraints, fully knowing that it was fruitless.

“Please,” she let out a moan.

“Please what, Laura?” Bill asked.

“Please, more. I need… more.”

He nodded at Samuel who let the vibrator glide down Laura’s body all the way to her knees, then up again, sliding along her inner thighs, slowly nearing where Laura wanted it. But he didn’t go where both men knew she wanted it the most. Instead of diving into her wetness, it came to rest at her opening before he slowly press it inwards. Just an inch, only to retreat again. Next time, it went in a bit further, and Laura arched her back.

Bill simply watched her for several seconds before he took care of her abandoned breasts, taking one into a hand while the vibrator teased the other one, the tender skin under her breasts, along the sides, to stimulate the nipple in the end.

Laura’s moans became more breathless, and out of an impulse, Bill bent down, suckling hard at Laura’s throat, marking her. But she didn’t seem to mind.

“Please,” she begged again. She couldn’t bear much more of this. If they didn’t let her come soon, she’d scream out her frustration for all the colonies to hear. Her whole body was tense, her muscles starting to hurt. “Please, no more teasing. I can’t…” Her hips couldn’t keep still, undulating in a primal rhythm.

“Shhh, Laura,” Samuel tried to calm her, one of his hands pressing down on her stomach to keep her still. “I wish you could see this, Laura. You look wonderful, spread open, your skin all flushed, the vibrator gliding in and out of you.” He set the device to a higher setting, shoving it in with one hard push, only to pull it out in a pace way too slow.

The sensations were nearly enough to undo her. She could feel the brink but needed more. Her voice was raw, husky when she begged the men for completion, release.

They weren’t deterred, Bill teasing her breasts, Samuel penetrating her as if he had all night; and damn him, he had.

“Frak! Please. Bill… Samuel… I need it. Please.”

For a moment, they both held completely still.

“You want to come, Laura?”

“Yes.”

“Do you want to come now?”

She would kill Samuel slowly as soon as they freed her. “Yes.”

Bill wished Laura could see how sexy she looked this moment. Her whole body was glistening from a fine sheen of sweat, her usual pallor replaced by a healthy flush. She had her legs propped up, spread wide, her body arching upwards, asking, begging for attention. Bill knew she was this close to orgasm, and by now, she had waited long enough. Another silent communication with Samuel, they were too good at this, both of them agreeing to guide Laura over the brink. He watched Samuel picking up a quicker rhythm with the vibrator, the man’s mouth burying between Laura’s folds. Needing something for himself, needing to taste her, Bill sucked the nipple of her right breast hard, maybe too hard.

Laura didn’t seem to register, her moans increasing in volume. That was it. She could feel her orgasm within reach. The device inside of her sent vibrations through her whole body, Samuel’s mouth, his tongue heightening her ache. Another few flicks of his tongue against her hard nub and she fell into the abyss of another orgasm, her whole body convulsing from the intensity of it. Thoughts were impossible, breathing hard, all she could do was to hold on, let wave after wave of bliss have its way with her.

She didn’t think she had lost consciousness, but the next time she registered anything, she lay limp on the bed, one man on each side of her. They both murmured sweet nothings into her ear, how sexy she was, how much they enjoyed it. It had her nearly laugh out. They enjoyed it? So far, it was her having found release, not them. It might simply be the endorphins talking, but she felt good, incredible, almost giddy. There was faint whispering, but she couldn’t quite make it out over the thundering of her heart, beating fast and steady, echoing in her ears. She was still catching her breath when gentle hands stroked along her legs, starting at her calves, slowly working their way upwards.

“Untie me?!” It was half question, half statement.

“Not quite yet,” Samuel said.

“We’re not done with you,” Bill added.

Despite her sated state, his words made her shiver. “I can’t.” It was only fair, she didn’t think her body had anymore to give.

“Yes, you can,” the two said nearly in unison.

Inquiring hands wandered higher up her legs, propping them up once more. Only when the buzzing of the vibrators faintly echoed in the room again did she realise it had been gone in the meantime. How long had she been zoned out?

While the hands still hadn’t finished their exploration, one vibrator dipped into her wetness. Dipped in, retreated, moved back in. She barely needed time to adjust, still open and wet from the earlier rounds. Unbelievable as it seemed, her arousal stirred once more.

One hand caressed her inner thigh, making her body quiver with want, the other had disappeared. Not that she really noticed, cared. There was nothing like sex with Bill, the connection with him raising it over any casual, physical act. This, this night, these two men, though, had her on fire. Her body was craving for their touches. Gods, she couldn’t even remember when she had last felt this strongly.

Her random thoughts were interrupted when cold liquid was spread over, around her rear entry. The feeling of cold vanished within seconds, and she briefly wondered when nothing else happened, although the nimble tongue caressing her clitoris drove any other thought away.

Samuel was still setting a steady, slow rhythm with the vibrator, guiding her towards release in a languid pace. Then he stopped, the device sheathed inside of her.

“Don’t stop. Please.” No more teasing, she couldn’t bear it.

“Patience, Laura. We’ll make it worth your time. But I have to watch you climax once again.” There was nothing but sincerity in Samuel’s voice. “I want another memory. I wished you could see it yourself, Laura. All I see here is beauty beyond measure.” He gently kissed her vulva.

“Trust me,” came Bill’s voice, then the second vibrator, slick with lubrication, pressed against the tight opening of her anus. It was turned off, and Bill took his time, slowly entering her, always just a bit further than the last time. The other vibrator didn’t move at all. When, after what seemed long minutes, the vibrator was fully buried inside of her, Bill paused.

It felt incredible, she was stretched more than she had thought possible, yet there was no pain, just the feeling of delicious fullness, enhanced by the tickling sensation of the one vibrator inside her vagina which was still turned on.

Time that had impossibly slowed down in the meantime started to run fast again when several sensations merged into one.

So slow that it nearly had her cry out in frustration, Bill began to move the vibrator in and out of her. It felt good, yes, it did, but she wanted more, wanted it harder. She didn’t know any shame – and why should she? – when she begged him to give her what she needed. He complied, frakking her harder now, setting the vibrator on a low buzzing setting. Delicious sensations had her buck into the touch, and now, Samuel started to set a slow rhythm inside of her cunt as well.

Laura couldn’t move, couldn’t see, but nothing of it registered with her any longer. They all moved in such an easy, natural rhythm – the men filling her over and over, Laura arching, bucking – that she found herself on a plateau of lust that had her on the edge in no time. She enjoyed it. It was on the brink of too much but somehow not enough at the same time. If they kept this up for any length of time, she was sure to faint, to collapse from the high of sensation. But for now, she’d take all they were willing to give her. Spreading her legs even further, the muscles in her thighs began to hurt, to tremble. It didn’t matter. Nothing mattered. As long as she got more, more, always more.

Samuel and Bill were talking to her, telling her what they were seeing, how hot she was, how hot it made them. Samuel more descriptive, but Bill’s deep voice doing something to her nerves that no other man could. They fell silent, both at the same time. Laura wondered but not for long. The weight on the mattress on each side of her shifted, two mouths closing around her nipples at the same time, one insistent thumb flicking against her clit. Still both vibrators worked her steadily. Laura became rigid, tensed, shattered from one second to the next, electric pleasure uncoiling in all of her body. She came, came hard. It didn’t seem to want to stop any time soon. Wave after wave of sensation had its merciless way with her. Then blackness engulfed her.

Bill watched transfixed, saw the orgasm hit her, saw her tremble and shudder from the sheer force of it. He could easily burst in his pants at this moment, the sight of her enough to undo him. Laura became still on the bed, for a few seconds not moving at all before she started breathing erratically again. Samuel and he shared a brief glance, and Bill saw most of his own feelings mirrored on the other man’s face. They both turned off the vibrators, removing them gently. Laura shuddered from slight aftershocks. Samuel got up from the bed, and Bill saw he didn’t fare better than he. Well, how could he? How could anyone after such a sight?

Samuel retrieved his shirt from the ground, put it on and smiled wryly. “The keys of the handcuffs are on the nightstand. Take good care of her.” He had spoken quietly, but Bill doubted Laura had heard them.

“Where are you going?”

“I have a date.” Another smile, a sad one this time. “I won’t be back until sometime tomorrow. Thank you for this.” A nod and he was gone.

Bill watched him leave before he turned to Laura. Her breathing began to slowly calm down. It was time to free her from the restraints. With as much care as he could muster, he unchained Laura, looking for bruises but finding none.

Laura moaned and flexed her arms. “That feels wonderful,” she said drowsily.

The blindfold was gone next. Laura blinked a few times in the dim lit room before her eyes adjusted to the light.

“Hey, beautiful,” Bill said, spreading out beside her, one of his fingers drawing along the contours of her face.

“Hey to you, too. Where has Samuel gone?”

“He left.”

Questions flickered in her eyes, but they were tempered by the degree of exhaustion that was obvious to Bill.

“Just like that? I would’ve thought he’d want… that he’d need…”

“It was a gift. He wanted you to see what he sees when he looks at you. What I see. Nothing but beauty, inside and out.” He leaned in to kiss her swollen lips. They sank into the kiss, exploring each other languidly. Bill enjoyed it, revelled in it, although he knew he’d have to stop this soon before he would ravish her. His body was trembling with need, his erection pressing painfully against the confines of his pants.

Laura broke the kiss, looking at him, desire lighting her eyes. “Come and take me, Bill.”

Did she have any idea what these words were doing to him? He had to close his eyes for a moment to reign in his feelings.

“Bill, I want you to frak me. Now.”

His fragile hold on his control snapped, and he was out of the bed and his clothes in a very short time.

Laura waited for him, legs spread wide, a grin on her face that reminded him of a cat in front of a bowl of cream.

There was no foreplay, he couldn’t wait any longer. Kneeling between her legs, he surged into her with one hard thrust, meeting no resistance. Laura arched into him, wrapping her legs tightly around his waist. He set a hard, fast rhythm, nearly delirious with want at this point, his sole focus on the way Laura felt around him, how good she smelled. He surged into her again, but she stopped him when he was all the way in, her heels digging into his ass to keep him in place.

Opening his eyes, he met her gaze. She looked positively wicked. “I want to thank you for this all. Thank you. And I think you deserve a treat.”

He wasn’t quite sure what she meant, but he slid out of her when she urged him to, although stopping in the middle of the act made him tremble from the effort. With another smile, she turned around, rearranging herself until she was on all fours in front of him, her shapely ass sticking out at him invitingly. His mouth became dry, and another wave of want had him draw in a ragged breath.

“All yours,” Laura murmured, and there was a note of playful laughter in her voice.

With gentleness, he hadn’t known he still possessed at this point, he grasped her hips, let his cock slid trough her wetness a few times before he positioned himself at her anus. She was still slightly slick from before, and with his additional lubrication, he slid in rather easily, but he took his time, careful not to hurt her. He didn’t need to worry as she arched into his touch voluntarily. When he was fully inside of her, he gave her a moment to adjust before he started to thrust into her, slowly at first but faster within the minute. Laura met every thrust, and it was so much better than he could’ve imagined. All of his senses were heightened, and he knew he wouldn’t last long. His point of no return approaching, he freed one of his hands, guiding it to her swollen nub, rubbing it in a rhythm he knew she loved. Tension built in his whole body. Another few thrusts then he shattered, spilling into her in an orgasm that seemed to drain him of all his energy in a few quick moments. He only dimly registered that Laura had found release as well, her body shaking as hard as his.

It took everything he had in him not to collapse onto her, and with a will he didn’t know he had, he pulled out of her, told her he’d be back in a moment, and walked to the master bathroom with very shaky legs.

Wetting a towel, he put it aside, washing himself before he returned to Laura, cleaning her with the towel.

As soon as she was clean, she snuggled into him.

“Thank you,” he whispered.

“No, thank you,” she replied, a yawn escaping her. “I need to sleep, Bill.”

“So do I.” He had no idea if she made a reply or not, sweet darkness claiming him in the matter of seconds.

TBC


	18. Chapter 18

ne year ago, Laura hadn’t thought she’d have the chance to celebrate another birthday. Not that she was one who particularly enjoyed birthday parties, but the fact that she was here to have one was enough to make her happy. If it had been completely up to her, she’d have dug a hole in the ground, waited till the day was over and forgot about it. Kara, though, had been of a different opinion. She thought that surviving the last year and to find personal happiness amidst the chaos deserved a celebration. Not long before she had convinced Bill, too. If Laura hadn’t loved her family that much, she’d have found it maddening. As it was, she had a house full of guests, occupying nearly every space available. Bill, Lee and Saul were bent over a book, which one Laura couldn’t see. Ellen had found and cornered Kara, talking non-stop. There were a few old friends, colleagues which Laura hadn’t seen in months. How Kara had found out about them Laura didn’t know. To some degree it was nice to see them again, but she knew she wouldn’t be close to any of them again. So much had happened this last year, she had changed.

“You know that you’re supposed to enjoy the party, don’t you?” Samuel’s amused voice stopped her musings.

“I am enjoying myself.”

“You surely don’t look like it.”

“And why should she? It’s not that she encouraged this party,” Olivia commented rather wryly.

Laura was glad Kara and Bill had invited her too. In the last weeks, Laura and Olivia had realised they had a lot in common. Laura liked working with her, enjoyed her company when they were talking over a cup of coffee. That Wally was here hadn’t come as a surprise, Olivia’s attendance was. She looked good today. Her hair, for once not in a tight bun, fell softly over her shoulders, giving her a distinctive female look.

“That doesn’t mean that she can’t try to make the best out of this. Nice people, good food, something to truly celebrate, it doesn’t get that much better than that.”

“Well, I could think of at least ten different ways to nicely celebrate one’s birthday.”

“Really? What are they?”

Laura had problems to not laugh out loud. There didn’t seem to be anything Olivia and Samuel agreed on. They had only met this afternoon, still they were bickering as if they had known each other for years. It was fun to listen to them, and whenever Laura didn’t have to tend to her other guests, she enjoyed their company.

“I have to say I agree, but you’re right too, Samuel. It’s nice to have friends and family around.”

Samuel put his arm around her. “As it should be.”

They shared a smile. Although they were still friends and nothing more, something had changed after the night she had shared with him and Bill. They hadn’t spoken about it; the one time Laura had tried to broach the subject, he had denied her, but their friendship wasn’t the same. You couldn’t bare yourself completely to your best friend without anything changing. There was a level of intimacy to their relationship that hadn’t been there before. No matter what, though, she knew it was thanks to him that she found herself on the road to recovery, at least partly. She still had her downs, but the bad days were sparse now.

“So when will your big day be?”

She knew exactly what he was talking about, and she grinned at him. “Six weeks. Six weeks too many, but let’s not be ungrateful.”

“Your surgery?” Olivia asked. She had followed Laura’s and Samuel’s banter with interest, and Laura couldn’t help but wonder to what conclusion she had come.

“Yes, and by the Gods, I hope it’ll be the last stay in a hospital for a while.”

“So, say we all. Whoever complains that time passes too fast should spend some weeks in a hospital. It gives one a completely new perspective.”

Now, it was Samuel who looked questioning from one woman to the other.

“I had breast cancer, too.”

“I see. I’m glad you made it.”

Olivia eyed him sharply. “Well, I’m glad I made it, too.”

“Can I have a word,” Kara interrupted them.

Laura wasn’t quite convinced it was a smart move to leave Olivia and Samuel alone, but figured that if Bill and she hadn’t killed each other, those two wouldn’t either. She followed Kara who led her out into the garden.

“What’s the matter, Kara?”

The young woman sat down on the bench Bill had bought not that long ago. “I don’t know what to do, and feel like I have to burst if I don’t talk about it.”

Laura sat down beside her. “Then by all means, just tell me what’s going on. You should know that you can always talk to me.”

Kara remained silent for a minute, her gaze distant. Then she looked up, faced Laura. “I think I’m ready. I didn’t think I’d be again, but I am. Ready for commitment.”

“With Lee?”

“With whom else? I have it in good faith that the old man isn’t up for grasp.”

“Indeed. So what do you have in mind?” Laura thought she had a good idea what Kara was up to, but she wanted to hear it from herself.

“I want to ask him to marry me.”

Laura knew that she sported a big grin, but how could she not? Especially when her expression was mirrored on Kara’s face. “That’s wonderful, Kara.”

“Yeah.” The doubt crept back onto Kara’s face. “But I don’t know how to go on about it. And is it even the right thing to do? I was so close to it before and lost it all. I… I couldn’t bear to suffer through something like that again.”

Laura took Kara’s hand into her own, squeezing it. “Who proposed the last time? You or he?”

A wistful look appeared in Kara’s eyes. “Zak. And it was crazy, really. He just appeared at my apartment one night, told me he couldn’t sleep. I told him that was something I couldn’t help him with either. Then he said, oh yes I could. I’d only have to say yes. Yes to what? He looked at me as if it was the most natural thing in the world and told me that we were talking about marriage of course.”

“And you did say yes.”

“Not directly.”

“Which means?”

“That he kissed me. When he let go of me, I said no. He kissed me again… let’s say it took him a while until he had me convinced.”

Laura laughed. “Seems he was a good kisser.”

“That he was. One of the best.” Melancholy flickered over Kara’s face but was soon replaced by a grin in true Kara fashion. “Seems that all Adamas are good kissers.”

Laura pretended to be shocked. “You kissed all Adamas?”

“Gods, no! But I know two, and you’re not sporting the sour expression of a woman frustrated with her man either.”

“That’s for me to know but not for you to figure out.”

“You know that your smile is a dead give-away though, don’t you?”

“I like to smile.”

“Sure.” Kara snorted.

“Let’s get back to the beginning of this discussion. You want to marry Lee but don’t know how to break the news to him?”

“That about sums it up.”

Laura took her time, looking over the small patch of garden, at the guests she could see moving inside the house. She spotted Lee who was engrossed in deep conversation with his father by now. Sympathy welled up in her. She seldom thought about how it would have been if she had a child of her own, but if she had, she would have liked a son like Lee. There was no sense in playing what-if though, and by now, she had an extended family which had brought people into her life she could hardly feel any closer to.

“Just ask him. Directly. Without any fuss around it. When you have a quiet minute for yourselves.”

“You mean to just do it?”

“Exactly. It’s the feeling you have for someone that counts, that he knows that your wish to join with him is honest. There doesn’t need to be more to it.”

“I think I’ll trust you on that.”

“Don’t forget to send me an invitation if you ever agree on a date,” Laura teased.

“I think that might be arranged.”

They rose at the same time, making their way back into the house.

Laura spent the next few hours talking to her other guests, reconnecting, laughing, having a good time. Even the few minutes she spent talking to Saul were bearable. It might have been the biggest surprise of the day.

Bill waited for Laura to come to bed, and it wasn’t long until she slipped under the covers, snuggling up to him.

“The party wasn’t half that bad.”

He chuckled. “Told ya so.”

Her fingers started to toy with his sparse chest hair, making the skin underneath tremble in the wake of her touch. If she kept that up…

“Still, I think I don’t need another one anytime soon. Had enough of them when I was still secretary of education. Let’s go somewhere for my next birthday. Far, far away.”

He smirked, although she couldn’t see it from her position.

She had given him just the clue he needed. It wasn’t that he hadn’t had a gift for her birthday; in fact, he had gotten her the fine-woven, warm sweater she had longed for since weeks, but it wasn’t what he considered his real gift. “Why wait for so long?” he asked.

She raised her head a little so she could look at him. “Do you want to travel somewhere? When?” She smiled. “And am I invited?”

“Well, actually I thought you and I could make a little trip to Tauron.”

“Tauron?”

He stroked her hair, cursing the fact that he couldn’t keep the blasted grin off his face. He never had problems to, only when it came to Laura. “Yeah, Tauron. It’s a beautiful colony. We’ll spend a weekend at Jameron’s beach. I don’t think you’d mind, do you?”

By now, she was curious enough to shift so she could prop herself up on an elbow. “Bill. Why Tauron?”

He took his time to answer, letting his fingers run through her short hair. It was soft and of a vibrant red. It was something he would never tire of. Laura’s patience was thin though, and she nudged him none too gently.

“Spill it.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

“Don’t you ma’am me.”

“No, ma’am.”

“Bill Adama, just spill it.”

“Has no one taught you patience?”

“Obviously not.”

“All right. I called your friend Sarah. Her husband and she await us on Tauron in about three weeks.”

Laura’s eyes lit up, an instant smile gracing her face. “You’re kidding.”

“Do I look as if I’m kidding?”

“No, you don’t.” She cuddled close to him again, planting a soft kiss on his lips. “When? Why? How?” She was clearly excited about the prospect. She wasn’t one to show her excitement in any overly obvious way, but he knew her well enough to know she was happy about his gift.

“When? As I said, in three weeks. Why? I think you deserve a break and your friend looks forward to seeing you again. How? I agree with Olivia that the spring vacation is a good time for such a trip and that she won’t miss you all that much. Then I got my hands on Sarah’s phone number and called her. Easy. See?”

Laura took a minute to think it all over before kissing him again. A soft, gentle kiss, barely brushing his lips with hers. “I can’t tell you how happy this makes me. I miss Sarah. We were very close. We just understood each other, didn’t need many words.”

“Believe it or not, it’s the same with Saul.”

“Do you think I’ll ever get along with him?”

Truth to be told, Bill wasn’t sure about it. Saul and Laura just rubbed each other the wrong way. He actually thought they had one thing too much in common, namely a self-confidence bordering on stubbornness, but he was wise enough not to voice this thought to either of them. “Hey, as long as you don’t kill each other, everything’s fine.”

“I’m not so sure about that,” she murmured against his chest.

“Well, in that case, my bets are on you.”

“Thank you.”

They just held onto each other for a while, and Bill began to slowly drift to sleep.

“In three weeks to Tauron?”

He opened his eyes which had fallen shut in the meantime. “Actually in two weeks and five days. We’ll stop somewhere else first.”

“Somewhere else?”

“Yes, and don’t even try to get this out of me. I won’t tell.”

Laura could never resist a challenge. She tried everything to convince him to tell her, but he wouldn’t budge. Not when she started to kiss him, not when she worshipped his body with lips and hands, not when she made him come with a passion that left them both breathless.

“One day, pretty soon, I’ll get you to tell me,” was the last thing she said before they both succumbed to sleep.

 

“How did you manage to get us first class seats?” Laura asked once again when they boarded the Colonial Heavy. Looking around the ship, she couldn’t help the bout of nostalgia that hit her when she took in her surroundings.

“Contacts,” was all Bill said.

They took their seats, Bill retrieving a book from the bag he had brought. Laura still had no idea where they would go first, she only knew she wasn’t expected on Tauron before tomorrow. Well, Bill might have made sure they arrived at the port at a time that was too late for her to actually find out about their destination, but she would know anything she wanted to know as soon as the pilot made his first announcement.

“You know when I’ve been on such a trip for the last time?”

Bill turned to her, the expression on his face unreadable. “Your trip to Virgon with your ex-lover.”

To her surprise, Laura realised that Bill was right. She had all but forgotten about this particular trip. On some levels, it was sad. Her affair with Richard had lasted for years, he had been a close friend once. Now, she hadn’t thought of him in weeks. Sure, she had read that he was far behind in the latest polls concerning the next election, and Samuel had told her his wife had left him, at least when the rumour mill was right. It wasn’t as if she cared, though. It didn’t concern her, didn’t have any influence on her life. Maybe if she hadn’t had cancer, maybe if he hadn’t tried to get her fired, it would. Useless thinking, it was a life she didn’t want back.

“Not quite true,” she corrected Bill. “Yes, my last trip was with Richard, but we travelled with Colonial One. No, the last time I boarded a Colonial Heavy like this one, it was for my trip to Galactica.”

“Galactica, huh?”

She couldn’t quite read his smile, but there was something about it that told her he was amused. “You remember Galactica? It’s an old, now retired battlestar which had an exceptionally cranky character on board, namely its commander.”

“Really?”

“Really.”

“I heard he was quite capable and respected by his crew.”

“He was rude.”

“Hard to believe.”

“Oh, you can. He gave the poor secretary of education quite a hard time.”

The smile on Bill’s face deepened. “Well, I heard that the secretary of education was an over-confident and a bit arrogant woman.”

This smug bastard. She didn’t know whether to laugh or to scowl, if to hit him or kiss him. “You heard wrong. She was a progressive woman, one who changed many a thing to the better during her terms, and although she might’ve been progressive, it had always been for the greater good.”

It was Bill who shut her up with a kiss. “You’re insufferable, you know.”

“As are you, Mister Adama.”

Bill went back to his book, and Laura took up the one she had brought for the trip – Searider Falcon, one of Bill’s and her favourites, although she still had to convince him to read the ending. His reluctance to do just that was something she could understand, but it still seemed odd. It might fit his personality, but still… A story in a book or in real life would never end differently, no matter how much you tried to avoid its ending. Her musing was interrupted when they started and a member of the crew announced the trip details. Galactica. They were going to Galactica. She turned to Bill who watched her amused.

“You’re not serious, are you?”

He chuckled. “Of course, I am. I thought it would be nice to go back where it all began.”

She was overwhelmed, didn’t know what to say. It was indeed on Galactica where both of their lives had taken a turn, if they knew it or not. A turn for the better, of that she was convinced. “It’s a wonderful idea, Bill.”

“I hoped you’d like it.”

“I do. Although…” her voice trailed off, and she smiled at him.

“Although what?”

“Just admit it, you simply wanted to see Galactica again.”

“I’m looking forward to it to some degree, but I’m not happy that they turned her into a frakking museum.”

She watched him, saw his eyes darkening. “First of all, Galactica is an ‘it’, not a ‘she’, and then, you’ll never forgive me that, will you?”

His hand reached out, coming to rest on her knee, squeezing it lightly. “Yes, I’ll never forgive you.”

She tensed, hating herself for having brought it up. Galactica might forever be one of the things where they’d never see eye to eye.

“I’ll never forgive you because there’s nothing to forgive. You had a valid point, as had I. A decision was made, and no matter how long we talk about it, it can’t be undone.” His face transformed into a wry grin. “Which doesn’t mean that I’ll have to like it. Never mind that I can’t really be agitated about something that brought us together.”

“You’re chatty,” Laura observed with a chuckle.

“Must be the company I keep.”

She swatted his arm. “Very funny, Mister Adama. But will we actually stay on Galactica for the night?”

“That’s the plan, yes.”

“I like that thought.” She really did, looked forward to be on Galactica again. She never really had the time to be with Bill on his grounds. All she had were her impressions from the day she had met him for the decommissioning ceremony. Brief as it had been, she had felt that this had been more than just a job for him. For him, life didn’t begin in the hours after work but work was his life. She didn’t know why, but she was sure she would see a difference in Bill’s behaviour once they were on Galactica. Deciding to keep her musing for later, she took up her book again. After all, they had a five-hour flight ahead of them. It was only when they looked at Galactica that she focussed on the present again. Even the meal they had been served had gone by nearly unnoticed.

“Good book, hm?”

She looked up at him, the change she had thought she would see in him already apparent. His eyes gleamed with an intensity she only knew from their most intimate moments; he’d squared his shoulders. In some regards, he was coming home, they both knew it.

 

It was good to see his girl again. There was no need to deny it; he had missed her. That they were misusing her for a purpose she hadn’t been made for didn’t take her dignity. She was still a proud ship, a beautiful ship. Even if they told people what Galactica had done for the people during the war didn’t mean that they would ever understand. Only who had seen Galactica in action would ever be able to understand. Bill could still see Galactica, surrounded by cylon raiders while he and his fellow viper pilots were fighting back with all they had. Sometimes, it had seemed hopeless; sometimes – more times than he liked to remember – not all of them had made it back. Still, they had never given up, knowing the colonies needed them, that only the handful of battlestars was preventing the human race from extinction, saved people in its more dire war. Nowadays, only Galactica was left, a living proof that one should never give up hope, that fighting for a good cause was worth the pain and downsides it brought with it. He wasn’t a stupid man, he knew that others couldn’t feel for Galactica what he did. The fact remained that he would always feel deeply attached to his old ship.

“A true love story?” Laura murmured, leaning over him to catch sight of Galactica, too.

“Something like that,” Bill admitted.

“I’m sorry to say it, but I’d always take her from you again. I want you. I’m greedy like that.” There was laughter in her voice, and for a moment, he turned away from his ship to face his wife.

Galactica might always be a part of him, but it was nothing compared to the way he felt for Laura. She wasn’t so much a part of him but someone completing him, making him whole. After Carolanne, he had thought he wouldn’t open his heart to a woman ever again, had thought this part of his life was irrevocably over. It wasn’t, and despite the problems they had to fight, that still awaited them, he knew it was worth it. It never needed much to harden this conviction inside of him, never needed more than a smile. She was smiling now. It had her eyes shine brighter than usual, made the fine web of wrinkles in the corners of her eyes, around her mouth even more prominent. It wasn’t something that diminished her beauty, not to him anyway. Like Galactica, she had lived a life, had fought her battles, only to come out victorious. Galactica and Laura had more in common than one might think. It wasn’t something he would ever tell her, though. Which woman would like to be compared to an old battlestar? Saul would understand, but even with him, he would be reluctant to share his insights.

“You didn’t need to take her away from me to have me, you know that, don’t you?” he asked with a teasing note.

“I hate to remind you, Bill, but you hardly gave me as much as the time of the day.”

“I was stupid,” he conceded.

“We both were.”

Another shared look before they both turned to Galactica again, watching her slowly approaching.

 

Galactica was what she remembered, yet it was different. It looked the same, but it was a different kind of energy filling the corridors. Where people had been going their respective ways, had a purpose, a job to do, were now groups of people wandering down the corridors or running, depending on the age of the visitors. Even the smell was different. She still could smell the rust and the grease, but now, there was a strong smell of coffee and sweets wafting through the ship. Although she would never be able to fathom the depth of emotion that connected Bill and this ship, she knew that this wasn’t quite right. Of course, she hoped this ship fulfilled its purpose, that it taught people about history, mechanics, the desperation of war. Yet, it felt wrong on some level. Or, she mused, she had been around Bill for too long. She followed him along one corridor after the other. He knew where he wanted to go and how to find the way, although she had lost her sense of direction about five minutes ago. Was he even aware of her presence at the moment? He had retreated into himself, and she could only guess his thoughts.

They rounded a bend and encountered a guided tour of first graders. Some of the children were truly interested, the most of them were bored stiff. One never lost a teacher’s eye. Bill shook his head ever so slightly. He liked children, but to see them treat his ship with disinterest must rub him the wrong way.

“Did this ship really fight in the war?” one of the children asked his teacher.

The question made Bill stop, and he turned, facing the group of children.

“Yes, it did,” he answered before the teacher had the chance to reply.

“How do you know that?”

“I worked on Galactica during the war.”

“You did? What did you do?” another child asked.

Bill smiled at the girl that had asked and was playing with her pigtails now, obviously scared by her own courage.

“I was a viper pilot.”

“That’s cool,” one boy exclaimed. This one was over-confident and would surely be a rebel rouser in later years.

“You shot the bad Cylons?” the girl asked again.

“When they were attacking us, yes.”

“But the war was a long time ago, our teacher said. Are you still a viper pilot or do you do something else now?”

“I had a lot of jobs and my last one was being Galactica’s commander.”

A stern looking girl with glasses stepped forward. “That’s not true. William Adama was the last commander of Galactica.”

“Lanie, don’t be rude,” her teacher chided her.

“It’s all right,” Bill said. “Well, Lanie, I am Will Adama, and it’s nice to meet you.” He offered his hand to a rather dazzled Lanie who only took it when one of the other girls nudged her forward.

“Can you tell us some stories about Galactica? Please?” another child asked.

Bill’s eyes lit up, and Laura leaned back against the bulkhead. This might take a while.

 

“I’m sorry.” Bill looked at Laura who thankfully seemed rather amused.

“No problem. You’d have made a good teacher, do you know that?”

“Never. You need nerves of steel to deal with that many children at the same time.”

“I know. But you reached them. It’s something most teachers strive for, but they don’t always succeed. They were devoted Adama followers when we left them.”

She was teasing him, but he didn’t mind. “Are you a devoted Adama follower, too?”

“You don’t know that? I’m shocked.”

They had reached their destination, and Bill opened the hatch, his hands lingering only slightly longer than they should have. Laura threw a questioning look into his direction, but he ignored it. He let Laura proceed, and she stepped into the quarters that had been his home for many years. Following her, he felt slightly detached. It had been his home, it wasn’t any longer. It looked the same, yet it felt different. When he had left for Caprica, he had taken his personal belongings but had left what had been there before him – the painting, some rugs among these things. But his books were missing, this room not being the same without them. He knew they had sealed this room after he had left, that no one had boarded his former sanctuary, still he couldn’t turn back time. Time had moved on, and so had he.

“It’s your former quarters, isn’t it?” Laura asked, turning to him.

“Yeah, I wanted to show them to you.”

“They don’t look half that bad. My guest quarters were nothing in comparison.”

He remembered very well where Laura had stayed. He watched how she walked over to his couch, sitting down with a sigh. “That feels heavenly.”

He said down beside her. “Yeah, I used to fall asleep here on a regular basis.”

“I can imagine.” She rested her head on his shoulder.

“Sorry about your guest quarters.”

“Not you fault that they’re not really comfortable and have the size of a card box.”

“Hmmh.”

“Hmmh what?”

“You might have stayed in one of the smallest.”

As he had thought she would, Laura sat up. “Excuse me?”

“Be happy that I didn’t go with Saul’s suggestion to let you bunk in with the pilots.”

Laura laughed out. “You two were really happy about my visit, weren’t you?”

“You were about to steal my ship.”

Another laugh. “Poor Bill. What a pity that you didn’t follow Saul’s suggestion.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“You think I’d mind to spend a night with a whole bunch of fit, young, sexy pilots?”

Bill knew she was teasing him, but he had to swallow the pang of jealousy that rose up in him. The thought of Laura in the hands of someone else wasn’t one he liked to entertain. Their night with Samuel had been acceptable, but that was all it was.

An impish smile appeared on Laura’s face. “You know this couch is way too comfortable. I bet it was ideal for some action.”

“Nice idea.”

“So you’ve actually done it here?” Her smile was broad, her mirth palpable.

“In my fantasies, yes; otherwise I worked here.” It wasn’t that he had never thought of bringing someone here, to indulge his physical needs, but the fleet’s admiralty was clear on their view of fraternisation. As the commander of the ship everyone had been his subordinate. Any kind of more intimate relationship had simply not been possible.

“Fantasies, I see. So tell me, who has been in your fantasy?”

“Laura.”

“Oh c’mon, indulge me.”

He was wise enough to not breathe a word, but he thought she was adorable. Since her own hair had begun to grow back, she only wore her wig to work, otherwise she decided to go with one of her scarves. Today, it was his favourite one, the green one. She looked relaxed, happy and, yes, adorable. “The last times I had fantasies about sex in these quarters, I’ve thought about you.”

“Me?” He had surprised her. “We never spent any time in here, at least not together.”

“It wasn’t when you were on Galactica, this one fantasy aside.”

“Which one fantasy?” Her eyebrows rose, and he smirked.

“The one where I bent you over my desk and frakked this look of serenity and superiority off your face.”

“That’s typical male. If you can’t control her, possess her.”

“It was my fantasy. I never ordered you in here, did I?”

“Order me. Of course.” She giggled. “What about you other fantasies. When? How?”

Out of an impulse, he took her hand in his, following the contours of her wedding band with the tip of his thumb. “When you were in hospital for your first round of radiation treatment.”

She squeezed his hand. He knew they both didn’t like to think about this particular time, but it was true. Back then, he had been granted the first taste of Laura, had known he wanted more of it but wasn’t deluded to think that her condition would allow them any physical intimacy any time soon, if ever again. At home in his bed, he had given in to his fantasies, and why not? They had been all he had at this point of time. It was only natural that his thoughts had brought him back to Galactica. It had been the place he had called home, there was no way that his small apartment had qualified as one. Yes, he had dreamed of frakking Laura in his home. A lot.

“Tell me about them, please?” Her voice was soft, her eyes subdued by the same sadness he felt. Yes, things had worked out in their favour, but it could’ve looked very different if not for a small miracle.

“There have been many,” he confessed, glad to see that humour once again overtook her features.

“Many? Interesting.”

“Well, I wanted to take you on this very couch, the desk, against the bulkhead, in the head, on the rack.”

“Head? Rack? What did I miss now?”

For a moment, he was puzzled until he realised that Laura was a civilian who didn’t know about military lingo. “Head is what we used to call our bathrooms, although they don’t deserve the name, and rack would be a bed.”

“I wonder why that is, where the names come from.”

He shook his head. “I think you’re missing the point here.”

“I do? What would be the point, Commander?”

He waited with his answer, a smile on his face.

“I’m waiting.”

“The point is, Madame Secretary, that I wanted to frak you senseless ages ago.”

“You are incorrigible.”

“Just honest.”

“Of course, but what about a tour now? A real tour and not the VIP tour you had reserved for annoying politicians.”

“That was my intention anyway.” He got up with a groan, offering her his hand. She followed his lead willingly.

“You know,” she whispered into his ear when they left his cabin,” we can always work on those fantasies of your later when we’re back here.”

“I have to say I approve of your plan.”

 

Galactica was larger than she remembered. That one corridor looked like the other was impregnated into her mind forever, though. How many times had she had to ask someone for directions? At least a dozen times. She knew that Billy had had the same problem. She could still remember his furious blush when he had confessed to her that he had ended up in a public washroom when he had lost sight of her for the first time. Although, she shouldn’t smile about it. Ending up in some dusty storage space hadn’t been her plan either, and she could’ve done without the grin of the crewmember that had passed that moment.

A few of the places they visited now Bill had shown her before, the CIC, the pilot’s quarters, the hangar deck, others were new. Galactica had a firing range that must have looked impressive and frightening when it had still been stocked with weapons. Then there was the gym, the smell of dust and sweat clinging to the mats.

“So this is where you worked on those nicely defined muscles of yours?” She could picture it. Bill working out in a set of the tanks he still favoured. The image of Bill sweaty and flushed gave her thoughts that might easily make Bill’s pale in comparison. Biting her lower lip, she followed him outside. He said there was one more place he wanted to show her.

They had reached it five minutes later, and walking inside Galactica’s observation deck, her breath caught at the view. There was one ship just leaving Galactica as another neared from afar. One viper was circling the ship, for one to protect the ship, for another to entertain the guests. It was highly unlikely that anyone would attack the ship from the outside, but one never knew. Laura herself had fought with the fleet’s admiralty so that they granted the ship some minimal protection. People had thought government buildings were safe too, but in the end, some terrorists managed to blew Saggitaron’s government to smithereens. Better be safe than sorry.

“Why such serious thoughts?” Bill asked her.

They sat down in the front row, having the observation deck all to themselves. It must have been Bill’s doing. He must have some really good connections.

“Who says that I entertain any serious thoughts?”

“The frown on your face says that.”

“It’s nothing, really. Just some memories.”

“Sometimes memories have the same potential to hurt us like anything that life may throw at us now.”

She turned to him, taking in his appearance, his stoicism apparent in every bone, his craggy face, the deep blue eyes that seemed to look directly into her soul, the sensuous mouth that could bring her such pleasure. If it hadn’t been for some chance circumstances, they would never have gotten to know each other, and she might have missed the most important relationship of her life.

“What do you think life has in store for us?” The return of her cancer, arguments that were bound to happen, seeing loved ones suffer when they encountered another stone on their road. Wasn’t there an endless potential to end up hurt? Life couldn’t continue to go uphill, could it?

“A lot of trouble.” His face was serious, but there was a twinkle in his eyes that gave him away.

“Trouble? What kind of trouble?”

“Kara and Lee, for example. With Kara’s temperament, there’ll be more confrontations between them. I hate to see them suffer, they’ve both been through enough.”

“I’m sure they’ll be fine.”

“They will, but at what price?”

“They’ll be all right, Bill. And just imagine we’d gotten to know each other when we were younger. We’re not exactly easy to deal with either. I think age has mellowed us at least a bit.”

He leaned over, kissing her softly. “Do you try to tell me that you’ve even been more stubborn when you were younger?”

“And here I thought stubborn was more your forte.” A grin bloomed on his face, and she couldn’t help herself but reciprocate.

“I wasn’t stubborn but cocky. Full of myself. Thought I was kinda dashing.”

A giggle escaped Laura, and she placed one of her hands flat on his chest. “Cocky, huh? Why am I not surprised? But it might console you that I think you are dashing.”

The grin widened, and he kissed her again, deeper and lingering this time. When Laura broke the kiss, she rested her head on Bill’s shoulder.

“Any other trouble you sense?”

“Plenty.”

“Plenty? As in…?”

“Well, what will happen to Samuel? How many dreadful women does he want to date until he finds a nice one? Saul and Ellen. Will they simply kill each other one day?”

Laura smirked. “If these are our worst problems, life doesn’t look all that bad, does it?”

“No, it doesn’t, and I refuse to entertain any truly negative thoughts.”

“Sounds like a good plan.”

“It is a good plan.”

For a long time, they just enjoyed the view and each other’s company. When Laura felt she was becoming sleepy, she sat up.

“Let’s get something to eat and retreat to your quarters.”

“I’ll have something brought up.”

“Oh, a romantic candlelight dinner, even better.”

 

Galactica was noticeably quieter when they left the observation deck. Most classes had left the ship hours ago, not that many people were staying for the night.

Walking along the deserted corridors, Laura couldn’t shake off the eerie feeling that had her at unease. One could feel the history of this old warship.

“It’s almost as if you could see them,” she said.

Bill simply nodded, understanding without further words what she tried to convey. “Even when I was still Galactica’s commander, I sometimes could see them running down the corridors, could see sparks and metal flying where Galactica had taken a blow.”

“Galactica was your life. Will ever be a part of you.” She said it without any bitterness. She had no claim on Bill. He and Galactica would be interwoven forever.

He stopped them and turned to Laura, his hands coming to rest on her shoulders. “Galactica might forever be part of me, but it’s not my life. Not any longer.”

“Are you sure?”

“Definitely. I have a new life now. One I wouldn’t change for all of the colonies.”

He was honest, devastatingly honest, his eyes telling her everything she needed to know. “I’m glad.” She was. Life wouldn’t become easier, there’d be obstacles to deal with, but facing them together with Bill, it would be all right.

“Laura, I might not tell you this often enough, but I love you.”

It wasn’t the words that they uttered often, both having learned through experience that being open about your feelings bore the potential to end up hurt. Times were different now, but one didn’t just shed a lifelong habit. Although sparely used, they held an even greater resonance with her. “I love you, too, Bill.”

For some endless moments, they held each other’s gazes, Bill’s eyes brimming with emotion. Stepping even further into his personal space, she stole a kiss from him. “Now, Commander, I think it’s time for dinner, and I distinctively remember you wanted to give me a tour through your quarters.”

“A tour?”

“Well, didn’t you say something about wanting to take me on your desk, against the bulkhead…”

Bill shook his head before he stopped her midsentence with a deep kiss. Releasing her for need of air, he smiled amused. “You are impossible.”

Laura’s giggles echoed from the walls, and Bill joined in.

Yes, things would be all right.

The End


End file.
